I don't want to go into much details of what happened, a long term friend of mine did something really hurtful to me over a year ago. I haven't been hurt so much in my life the way she hurt me, I felt betrayed because our friendship meant a lot to me.

I have tried to seek revenge by reporting the case to authority around the time because she didn't feel remorseful about what she did. Her mum has been like a mum to me right since we were teenagers and she has tried to make me reason with her.

I have told myself that I have forgiven her, but sometimes I randomly get triggered by forces beyond my control. It could be a story on Twitter, on NL, or just seeing two friends in real life and I remember the hurt and get so pissed all over again.

I am tired, I want to move on with my life, the trigger has happened again recently and I've been nursing headache because of a lady that is probably somewhere clubbing and enjoying her life.

For people that have been hurt and betrayed by a loved one, pls how did you totally move on? How do you deal with triggers? When did you tell yourself revenge isn't worth it and leaving everything to God. A lot of time I don't think about it at all, but once I get triggered it's really so bad. I don't want that for myself.

This situation has caused me depression, increased my anxiety, it has generally had a bad impact on my life. I've told God I've forgiven her, I need practical ways to deal with the triggers when it comes.

UnconventionalT:
I don't want to go into much details of what happened, a long term friend of mine did something really hurtful to me over a year ago. I haven't been hurt so much in my life the way she hurt me, I felt betrayed because our friendship meant a lot to me.

I have tried to seek revenge by reporting the case to authority around the time because she didn't feel remorseful about what she did. Her mum has been like a mum to me right since we were teenagers and she has tried to make me reason with her.

I have told myself that I have forgiven her, but sometimes I randomly get triggered by forces beyond my control. It could be a story on Twitter, on NL, or just seeing two friends in real life and I remember the hurt and get so pissed all over again.

I am tired, I want to move on with my life, the trigger has happened again recently and I've been nursing headache because of a lady that is probably somewhere clubbing and enjoying her life.

For people that have been hurt and betrayed by a loved one, pls how did you totally move on? How do you deal with triggers? When did you tell yourself revenge isn't worth it and leaving everything to God. A lot of time I don't think about it at all, but once I get triggered it's really so bad. I don't want that for myself.

This situation has caused me depression, increased my anxiety, it has generally had a bad impact on my life. I've told God I've forgiven her, I need practical ways to deal with the triggers when it comes.

How on earth are you able to bear the pains and hurts on your own. I must say, you are really STRONG.

Now let's solve this.

See, you just need to ASK YOURSELF WHYYYYYYYYYY.............. WHY DID IT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.... and the simple answer was..... YOU ALLOWED IT BY IGNORING ALL THE SIGNS.


You can revenge by GETTING BETTER, RICHER, STRONGER, WEALTHIER AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAPPIER.

So that is how you walk out on the sticky mess that this whole thing did to you.

You need to cut off from HER, HER MOM and everything that reminds you of her. Relocate if need be.... CHANGE NUMBER, CHANGE SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES.... go dark for a while and become a totally different beast.... MOVE ON.


She will realize her mistake when you flourish and become better. THE PAIN WAS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU CLARITY THAT NO ONE IS TO BE OVER TRUSTED.....

Looking back, you must have seen the SIGNS but you ignored it because of LOVE or FAMILIARITY... and it became your undoing.

So you will heal when you rearrange your life and become a stranger to what or how they used to know you.

being NICE is a weakness and luxury you can't afford anymore..... YOU MUST BECOME WISER.... STREET WISE... so no one hurts you again.

jah bless

By moving on from the pain
You can also do your revenge abeg Nigerians are toxic people

yrhuhfy113:


How on earth are you able to bear the pains and hurts on your own. I must say, you are really STRONG.

Now let's solve this.

See, you just need to ASK YOURSELF WHYYYYYYYYYY.............. WHY DID IT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.... and the simple answer was..... YOU ALLOWED IT BY IGNORING ALL THE SIGNS.


You can revenge by GETTING BETTER, RICHER, STRONGER, WEALTHIER AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAPPIER.

So that is how you walk out on the sticky mess that this whole thing did to you.

You need to cut off from HER, HER MOM and everything that reminds you of her. Relocate if need be.... CHANGE NUMBER, CHANGE SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES.... go dark for a while and become a totally different beast.... MOVE ON.


She will realize her mistake when you flourish and become better. THE PAIN WAS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU CLARITY THAT NO ONE IS TO BE OVER TRUSTED.....

Looking back, you must have seen the SIGNS but you ignored it because of LOVE or FAMILIARITY... and it became your undoing.

So you will heal when you rearrange your life and become a stranger to what or how they used to know you.

being NICE is a weakness and luxury you can't afford anymore..... YOU MUST BECOME WISER.... STREET WISE... so no one hurts you again.

jah bless

Thank you so much. It hurts a lot that I saw the signs but they weren't signs to me. I trusted her so much. And in my mum's words she said "you have taken after your father" my dad trusted people until his death and will always give a chance to anyone until proven otherwise.

This niceness doesn't pay me at all. I'm super glad my mum and siblings didn't use the situation against me. May God grant me the grace to become street wise like you said.

Solofresh2:
By moving on from the pain
You can also do your revenge abeg Nigerians are toxic people

Thank you. I have tried that but it didn't work out. I always thought that revenge will make me feel better about the situation. And that "be the bigger person" annoys me a lot because the person that has been cheated is now asked to take it all in and let it go. It's not easy

Lol. Know this facts about break ups in a relationship

-it takes a longer time for men to get over heartbreak than it takes women. If you're observant, the difference is very significant

-introverts take a longer time to forget about the past including heartbreaks and hurt than extroverts

-in any relationship, do what is right because it is right, not just what pleases the other person. When you break up, you will get back on your feet early that way

Try to remember your wrongs too. “Wrongs” here is trying to say you should not totally heap the blame on this person. You should take part in the blame too. It could be your good heart, over niceness etc. all these are wrongs but we totally ignore them because we always think it’s the right thing to do.


If you can always remind yourself that “na me fvck up” over time you’ll get better and wiser. Getting triggers for revenge means you have not dealth with the underlying cause of why the issue between you and this person happened in the first place. You should know these triggers will always remain, whether you avoid social media or the general public or not. These triggers will remain, it’s left for you to see them as a reminder of your shortcomings and fix them.

Why do I have this strong feelings,you re RICHY4?

yrhuhfy113:


How on earth are you able to bear the pains and hurts on your own. I must say, you are really STRONG.

Now let's solve this.

See, you just need to ASK YOURSELF WHYYYYYYYYYY.............. WHY DID IT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.... and the simple answer was..... YOU ALLOWED IT BY IGNORING ALL THE SIGNS.


You can revenge by GETTING BETTER, RICHER, STRONGER, WEALTHIER AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAPPIER.

So that is how you walk out on the sticky mess that this whole thing did to you.

You need to cut off from HER, HER MOM and everything that reminds you of her. Relocate if need be.... CHANGE NUMBER, CHANGE SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES.... go dark for a while and become a totally different beast.... MOVE ON.


She will realize her mistake when you flourish and become better. THE PAIN WAS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU CLARITY THAT NO ONE IS TO BE OVER TRUSTED.....

Looking back, you must have seen the SIGNS but you ignored it because of LOVE or FAMILIARITY... and it became your undoing.

So you will heal when you rearrange your life and become a stranger to what or how they used to know you.

being NICE is a weakness and luxury you can't afford anymore..... YOU MUST BECOME WISER.... STREET WISE... so no one hurts you again.

jah bless

Slap yourself

UnconventionalT:
I don't want to go into much details of what happened, a long term friend of mine did something really hurtful to me over a year ago. I haven't been hurt so much in my life the way she hurt me, I felt betrayed because our friendship meant a lot to me.

I have tried to seek revenge by reporting the case to authority around the time because she didn't feel remorseful about what she did. Her mum has been like a mum to me right since we were teenagers and she has tried to make me reason with her.

I have told myself that I have forgiven her, but sometimes I randomly get triggered by forces beyond my control. It could be a story on Twitter, on NL, or just seeing two friends in real life and I remember the hurt and get so pissed all over again.

I am tired, I want to move on with my life, the trigger has happened again recently and I've been nursing headache because of a lady that is probably somewhere clubbing and enjoying her life.

For people that have been hurt and betrayed by a loved one, pls how did you totally move on? How do you deal with triggers? When did you tell yourself revenge isn't worth it and leaving everything to God. A lot of time I don't think about it at all, but once I get triggered it's really so bad. I don't want that for myself.

This situation has caused me depression, increased my anxiety, it has generally had a bad impact on my life. I've told God I've forgiven her, I need practical ways to deal with the triggers when it comes.

If judas betrayed Jesus, anyone will betray you... You need to be emotionally Smart and intelligent.
If you are a Christian ask and pray for the gift and guidance of the holy spirit.