realtalk19:


See how you are looking for excuses.so because he lost his job ,the best act is to not look for another job and just stay idle without making effort?

Am seriously laughing?

Btw are you married? If you are married, will you be comfortable with your wife taking up your responsibilities while you stay idle and not make effort?

Even the bible says a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an Infidel.
To be the man of the home, a husband and a father is not an easy task.

Don't judge people till you walk on their shoes.

Life happens.

Oky. I will wait till I hear the man side of the story.

But untill then.

If you never experienced these type of crisis. I don't expect you to understand

Good night.

Jovialjune1:


All these people that will be giving unsolicited advise sef

So the Op that is providing is not in pain abi? The pain that made him useless when he was working and when he was jobless right? Pls explain the pain to us

The husband should also put himself in his wife's shoe instead of sleeping and being lazy and useless, it is not easy for Op, he should also pray for himself so that he can overcome his laziness and be useful in life.

I really pity her but her best is not enough to cheat everything in this life is temporary

Mimicle101:


Oky. I will wait till I hear the man side of the story.

But untill then.

If you never experienced these type of crisis. I don't expect you to understand

Good night.

I guess you didn't read my initial response on the thread before replying. I have been through it that's why I am able to relate.

Continue waiting for the man's response. sweet dreams.

Sufferness no dey tire you , so dem fit tell you make you no follow another man but if na the man bring complain come here , dem go dey advise the man to get side chick or even marry another woman.

So why dem no fit advise the man , make him marry another woman for him poverty state , na first wife sabi suffer all kinds of shege but 2nd wife or side chicks na for enjoyment. 😏

Abeg no suffer with any bloody being , if e don sweet for dem , dem go dump you and go for old cargo . Ungrateful beings everywhere.

Nigerians and hyprocrisy are just like two conjoined twins.

If you wan keep yourself, keep yourself because you wan keep yourself not for any man .

kingthreat:
Please don't cheat. He will use that against you anytime. If you have to leave, do it with a clear conscience.
Ehmmm, you say your rent is expiring abi? Let it expire, don't lift a finger. Let your Landlord kick you out, then move to your parents place or get a place of your own with your kids. Use that as a trap for continuing the marriage or not.

. So cheating dey pain men like this , all of una just dey shout , don't cheat, like say the woman na baby but if na man , you go advise the man make him cheat.

If na woman loose her job , she go dey struggle dey do all kinds of menial jobs , even if na factory work. Him he dey there dey find collar job ,dey claim I be graduate .

Except you are going back to your father's house, any other thing is just free yourself to fvck around and use the money to feed your kids cos anything you want to do, you can do in your husband's house except fvcking around.

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

This is why I always say NEVER marry a poor man!!

The truth is, if you are not financially strong yourself you have no business marrying a poor man all in the name of “love”. And worst of all you are bringing children into the mix to suffer.

Now you want to leave your marriage to look for “love”. When will you learn?

In my opinion you already made the mistake, so it’s either you stay in the marriage just to claim “Mrs”, or you leave and make a life for yourself and your kids. Don’t ever think that getting involved with another man is the solution because it is not.

Most of all, get a good family planning. Two kids is more than enough!!!!

Airdrophunter:



You should know how your gender behaves when you Bleep up. Well, to me, it has ended the day she packed out and nothing can revive it.

I am planning to adopt soon.

They are still underage, the only luck she gets for now.

Baba no vex...lol! The thing with men is that you guys are very difficult and controlling when you're broke. You become overtly sensitive to everything the woman does at home and your need for 'more respect' is through the roof. Any simple discussion becomes a fight because you feel the woman is disrespecting due to your financial situation. It's frustrating!

The implication of this overtly sensitive & controlling attitude is that, the woman feels unappreciated for all her efforts in picking up the slack on the home finances. She's unable to express herself because the tension at home is high, while she's also under pressure to manage the home and spend all her money to pay rent, school fees, feeding, utilities etc. So as time goes on, the resentment builds up because the average Naija man would still use ego and coconut head to make the home unbearable even when he's not contributing zilch. How long can a woman cope in that type of environment?

At least if a man is not dropping money, make the home peaceful and conducive. Bes supportive and appreciative of your wife's efforts in closing the gaps for you. I'm sure if I ask your wife now, she will have a different version of what actually happened.

I pray you find space in your heart to forgive her and reconcile especially for the sake of your children. I'm sure you have both learned your lessons and will come back stronger if you remain committed to work on it.

Kobojunkie:
So, whose gonna save him if he refuses to save himself?

How can the terribly sick save themselves?

Kobojunkie:
But Nigerians are convinced that they have that down to a T when reality continues to paint us a different picture in regards to the understanding the people have of what good parenting implies.

I think most of these issues are socially-derived. People need to delay onset of childbirth for the purpose of confirming partner-fit.

Know it sounds crazy but it's better to walk out knowing no child is collateral damage than ignore the fact that the child (or children) is (or are) an inevitable collateral damage to the poor decision-making capacity of non-thinking adults.

alfredfrddy:
Separate but don't sleep with no man, respect your marital vows, divorce if he won't repent after a set time, forget the marriage and move on. Leave, I repeat, leave before you carry another belle. Seeing their wives pregnant is the joy of poor man.

If you believe this, I have a bridge to sell you

njelrapheal:


So i have read through with lots of comments here from.women empowering women. I dont support the man though but i can bet that "my husband is just 2 years older" says a thousand more. Also the question of her finding someone who loves her..says more . Either she already has one or someone is wispering something in the left ear.

@Op. I dont know if you love that man though. But u dont know him well enuf. What takes his money. Why is he docile.. i mean so many questions

She neither loves nor respects him. Which is justifiable given her version of events.

She's mentally out of the marriage. The marriage is done.

kkins25:
■ How can the terribly sick save themselves?

So, a terribly sick adult does not know what hospitals and doctors are there for?

Mimicle101:
■ No. That's not correct dear. Only her change of heart started 2.months ago. While I am almost getting back on my feet. That's why I said her story is same as mind. And I mean the years.

Again, your story does not in any way compare to OP's who has had to endure her fate for several years at the hands of said husband. Make we no dey try to force everyone into our own shoes but instead try to walk that necessary mile in their own shoes in order to understand where they are in fact coming from.

njelrapheal:
■ What ever rocks ur boat.

This isn't about what rocks my boat but reality as it should be processed. You don't say because a man is depressed it is reason enough for him to neglect the family and children he took on responsibility of. It is not a reasonable or viable excuse at all.

Mimicle101:


No. I take it you must be wrong.

These story is so sweet in the first place. Believe me I have been in the shoe of that husband.

And my wife could make the story so good and sweet and say she does everything in the house even went ahead to tell her family the same.

Which is not true.

Look. The truth of these matter is that.

Madam here, dont or no longer love her husband. Due to his inability to provide as he used to. She feels only hatred, and despise him. She has went through stages of suffering and supporting her home and the husband. So now she feels he'll no!

The truth again is that.

Woman of today Are not able to carry the pressure and amount of responsibilities that comes with marriage.

Only 1 child or 2. See them shouting. And reducing the man to zero value.

But our mothers had 8, 9 kids then but they still worked together to support and build there marriage.

So my final thought here is.

Due to the time we are in.

Life of immorality, adultery. Lack of self respect. Life of competition and wanting to be like others. Not cutting the cloths according to the size, Life of personal interest in marriages are the major reasons while these stories keeps on coming about our marriages of today.

Life and marriage could be very sweet and beautiful if only we went back to the drawing board and know that marriage is for better and for worse..

Loving and being a die hard fan and supporter of the person you claim you love.

When the husband is down... the wife would recognize these and push him up. Vice-versa

You say woman nowadays are not able too carry the pressure of family responsibility

Have you asked yourself who made them to be that way ? Men we are the ones who chance charm them by spoiling them during dating and in marriage she asked to stop working because you want to look more responsible etc

So now we see them as spoiled little brats but the question is who spoiled them .

Mimicle101:
■ You may think so. But let me tell you. The poster story is not %100. I wish we can hear from the husband side. I guarantee you these. The poster is super hurt! She feels used. She see zero value, and have zero respect to the man. She does not have any love for him any more. Infact. She feels nothing but hatreds for him. All is because of what she has went through. Which I perfectly understand. Not in a bad way. But I wish OP can confirm these things I have said. So what she needs now is to start forgiving her husband. Starting all over again. And hopefully the husband can get a job and start doing better. It's ganna be real tough but she just have to try. Otherwise these marriage is as good as ended as mine did.

You don't even see that you are all over the place with your assertions regarding OP at this point. You admit that she is very hurt, feels used, and has completely lost love and respect for her husband at this point. The man allowed the relationship to deteriorate to the point that it exists today. Yet your suggestion is that, without the circumstances changing in any way or form, OP should cause her heart to change so she can begin again loving the same man and conditions she has come to detest after so many years.

Let's turn around and say your wife was the one who abandoned her marriage mentally and physically for many years, allowing you to carry all the load alone as Mr. married man and father. You go to work, you pay bills, you go to market, you cook, you even do chores for the house and even had to bring your mother over to care for your kids while you are at work. If after many years of enduring this, you come to the realization that this woman you call wife no even dey change at all — your children don grow to realize that as well— would you do the same thing you are advising OP to do in red?

unbiased2021:
■ She called men unwise and I tried to make her understand anyone can be lazy, man or woman but she couldn’t read between lines only to call me an educated illiterate, I bet she was right to do that ?

Well, if she called you unwise in regards to that tale you told of your ex, I would agree with her given that story no suppose see daylight at all as far as an educated man is concerned. How can you go carry "liability" woman come dey complain say she no do wetin you want make she do...

Kobojunkie:
1. So, the woman should live what amounts to a tortured existence as a nag in the name of marriage? I would rather vote she quit the marriage entirely.

Quitting her marriage is not the right thing. You guys self any little issues in marriage you guys will rush and tell the person to quit.

Her case is a simple case, she needs somebody that will talk sense into her husband. She should look for the person her husband respects so much and narrate everything to him in order for the person to talk to her husband, with that the man will change.

There's something I noticed about the lady, she finds it hard to speak up in her marriage, she should learn to align the wrong doings of her husband to him when necessary and stop being soft. No be one person alone dey love for marriage, the love should be mutual.

A man refused to take up his responsibilities starting from relationship to marriage she kept quiet didn't complain. It's very wrong does she want to kill herself.

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

When u wear putting on a white garment shouting I do in front of your friends, parents and pastor u didn't add condition.. Say as "long as he has a job and he takes care of the family, I do"

They say in sickness n in health, for richer for poorer.. You open ur wide mouth say I do..

The courtship u both did is 0..
The love you say u have for him is 0..

If this same man all of a sudden gets a job paying 250k per month that ur nonsense love for him will reappear from heaven..

I think u marry him because age is not on ur side.. Because the both of u have nothing common from ur definition of him.

lomaxx:
■ I think most of these issues are socially-derived. People need to delay onset of childbirth for the purpose of confirming partner-fit.

Know it sounds crazy but it's better to walk out knowing no child is collateral damage than ignore the fact that the child (or children) is (or are) an inevitable collateral damage to the poor decision-making capacity of non-thinking adults.

Nigerian culture generally frowns on the application of commonsense solutions to problems and issues relating to marriage. So?

ChuksHills:
■ Quitting her marriage is not the right thing. You guys self any little issues in marriage you guys will rush and tell the person to quit. Her case is a simple case, she needs somebody that will talk sense into her husband. She should look for the person her husband respects so much and narrate everything to him in order for the person to talk to her husband, with that the man will change.
■ There's something I noticed about the lady, she finds it hard to speak up in her marriage, she should learn to align the wrong doings of her husband to him when necessary and stop being soft. No be one person alone dey love for marriage, the love should be mutual. A man refused to take up his responsibilities starting from relationship to marriage she kept quiet didn't complain. It's very wrong does she want to kill herself.

1. So, until she finds this mystery person to magically talk sense into her husband, she should continue living married to herself and dragging a deadbeat-seeming husband along with her?

2. How exactly did you notice this about the OP when you have never in fact met her or sat an hour in her life? So, she needs to first speak up before a husband comes to understand that his role is as a partner in the marriage and not as a loafer. Unu dikwa imminimious!

hairyman:
About 11 years ago I was like your husband. Not necessarily out of a job but I wasn't earning enough to get by myself talk more of taking care of a family the way it should be.

Wifey lives in another state while I live in Lagos and she earned about twice my take home and was actually good to go.
But women don't like paying bills. A man can pay 100% of the bills and nobody will hear a word but once a woman pays a percentage, the entire world hears about it.

As for me, by the time I was done with my rent in Lagos, power, tfare to work and tfare to go visit her and back, I was flat broke

I must have appeared to her how your hubby appears to you now.

The difference between myself and your hubby perhaps is that I knew I wasn't doing well and was looking for ways to balance the equation. So I would buy little food stuffs, cook, wash and clean up when I visit. Or I would find someone in that area to do the washing and pay her 700 bucks back in those days.

I tried always to balance the equation.

Wifey wasn't happy about the whole arrangement though.

Here I will digress, young financially unstable men must never assume that a lady loves them enough to bear financial insecurity with a child. She will swear that she will manage. But once a child comes!...forget it man, you will be harassed.

Back to the tale, she wasn't happy and would say nasty things. I had grown up in a happy home and never knew that a wife could say such things to her husband.
It was such a sad situation for me. I wasn't a dunce or irresponsible, things just hadn't set yet, I was just a young dude 2 years out of NYSC.

Here again, I will digress. When I want to take any action, I will always ask myself; what's the purpose of this action? What's it's value? What are the potential consequences?

That's because I have a long memory and I assume that people do too. If you kick me when I am down, I will never forget.
These are questions that you may care to ask yourself.

Anyone reading this might think that this happened for a long period. No it didn't, it was just for about a year that I tried to get my feet under me. By the time my little boy was past one year, I could pay for his creche, buy nearly all the food stuffs and pay for other stuffs in my second home.

But I never forgot the kicking when I was down. It made it very difficult for me to get over slights from wifey.

Fast forward to today, 11 years afterwards. I have a bit of money to my name. A lot more than a bit perhaps.

Wifey and I are going through a divorce. All the slights I just couldn't bring myself to forget have come to a head and I was just done.

I have seen what it will be like with her if I am down and it is just not a bearable thought.

My sex plug are 2 single mothers like you intend to be...so beware.

It is unlikely that I will remarry presently. I have no desire to create half brother/sister issues for my kids.

So I will ask you, what is the value of kicking your husband when he is down?

There are too many poorly raised people here telling you things you don't need to hear. You can identify them by their choice of words; useless, broke as men, stupid etc they frequently say.
They are usually unable to think beyond tomorrow. Maybe a week. They are rarely married and perhaps will not and have scores to settle with men.
They want to copy western countries. Unfortunately they usually don't read well enough to find out the consequences; such as the collapse of the family unit in those countries and the recent study stating that by 2030, about half of American women between 25 and 45 may never marry because their men don't want them, and will rather go abroad to look for wives or stay unmarried.
Or that marriages are best constructed in the traditional sense and always last longest anywhere in the world, in that structure (they appear to love to talk so much about woke ideologies)

It is sad that you are in this situation. I remember though that back in the day, our mothers plugged up financial holes when our dad's were not on their A game. And guess what, people rarely knew! They even told the kids that the money came from their dads!

Good old days. Before social media, before low quality education that has reduced the average IQ of Nigerians to 71 and rendered them unable to face life's challenges without taking the apparently easy way out.

Your situation is really sad. I know how you must feel. Perhaps you can let it all play out and see how it goes, perhaps you can opt out...But do not kick your hubby now that he is down. It never serves any purpose.

I wish you wisdom.

I love your reply

Many women think Nigerian men are lazy. But that's a very big lie.

Nigeria ain't a normal country, so many men are battling with same thing: economic hardship

It's not easy for a man in this country

But women should also remember that a man down today can within a click turn around economically

And most men don't forget the way you treated them when they were down
Which most times ends in divorce

So women should bear this in mind

I have seen the scenario you painted out playing out in a lot of marriages
Presently trying to settle one like that

But most times, the men don't forget the bitter treatment they had and they never get back together.

This your reply is very factual and filled with wisdom

Acidosis:



Yes, ego issues exist but I don't think ego is the reason most Nigerians can't clean poo. Nigerians cleaning poo abroad do it for the money. They won't do such in Nigeria because, obviously, cleaning poo in Nigeria pays next to nothing.

It's easy to always recommend menial jobs and all that but more often than not, we are not always realistic. I know someone who went to do this menial thing. After about 2 days on the job, he landed in the hospital. His earning for those days can't cover the cost of drugs.

Note that I do not condone laziness. At the same time, I will be careful not to call a man who lost his job in 2022 a lazy or an irresponsible man. I also won't judge him for not going out there to lift bags of Dangote cement for N15 per bag. I won't do it too.

If the man fall sick, he should take medication and continue until his body get used to it.
The first time I stood on a luxury bus from 9th mile to kano, I nearly died. My legs stole up like one who had elephantiasis. Did I stop?
Nope. I continued standing until I can afford buying a seat in Enugu without thinking twice.
You wanna lose weight and hit the gym, you will fall sick but as you continue you may end up being gym instructor so throw that argument away.
I lived in Abuja when buhari took over and things started going south. So many construction workers were laid off. Other jobs were affected too. Men will rather circle and discuss politics and football than do menial jobs. Most of these homes were on their wives head and nobody knew. Some wives will give the men all the salary to hide their shame and answer good woman.
Don't let me start.
I paid school fees of 2 families children cos I love the wives.
Left for the husbands, wetin concern me.
Funny enough one got work last two yrs in his state and still expect me to continue sending money. The last money I send to the wife to start business, she gave the whole thing to this man. I mean, this man is a free loader that messed her up a lot psychologically and she still enables him when I thought she must have learnt her lesson.
And after six month when I asked, she was telling me nonsense. I resemble father Christmas ni?

Honestfrend:
■ When u wear putting on a white garment shouting I do in front of your friends, parents and pastor u didn't add condition.. Say as "long as he has a job and he takes care of the family, I do"
■ They say in sickness n in health, for richer for poorer... You open ur wide mouth say I do.. The courtship u both did is 0.. The love you say u have for him is 0..
■ If this same man all of a sudden gets a job paying 250k per month that ur nonsense love for him will reappear from heaven.. I think u marry him because age is not on ur side.. Because the both of u have nothing common from ur definition of him.

1. Somethings are meant to be commonsense for adults and not meant to be spelled out.

2. Loafing around as OP says her husband does is not the same as being poor. You insult the many hardworking poor folks out there by assuming it is so.

3. Love has always been a conditional factor between humans — that is marriage is an agreement, a conditional contract between both parties.

seanwilliam:
I don’t know if your story is true, but verily I say unto you , if you divorce him , even though I detest irresponsible men, I swear there are 95% chances that you’ll regret it .

Single mothers are finding it hard out here, prepare your puna for general shagging wether u like it or not for crumb . I know this won’t go down well with u and you’ll want to claim “ mrs capable” but trust me, a bird at hand is better than thousands in the bush. Dem go knack u so tey, at some point, you’ll even wish to only bare a man’s surname. And if you genuinely love your kids, single handedly raising them is the greatest disservice you can do to them .

Don’t be fooled by this woke generation .

So, what should she do? Stick with a never-do-well man? I don't get it.

If OP has a comfortable family, she should return to them. I cannot allow my sister to be in such a condition. She is moving back to the family house. I detest irresponsible people.

Kobojunkie:
So, a terribly sick adult does not know what hospitals and doctors are there for?

Like you dont know it cost almost minimum wage to get a session of therapy in the country. Some costs even way more. The average man CANNOT spend his monthly salary for therapy.

qtguru:
What's going on, why are men not hustling like before? Depression?

To be fair, competition has gotten stiffer for most men as resources got scarcer and women folks entered the workforce. Most men can't keep up. The solution for such men is to postpone or forgo marriage and childbearing and focus on their self-development. Find hobbies to keep oneself busy.

kkins25:
■ Like you dont know it cost almost minimum wage to get a session of therapy in the country. Some costs even way more. The average man CANNOT spend his monthly salary for therapy.

So it costs almost minimum wage to get a session of therapy in the country and so reason why a depressed man would not wish to get treatment but the very same man would not hesitate to get married and have two children on top of that? Marriage and children cost a lot less abi?

realtalk19:


You sound damaged.

For your info women are becoming bread winners and legit hustlers these days not like before.

A husband is the man of the home and has a responsibility of providing for the family,the woman is the support and motivator.she keeps the home and takes care of the family.

No matter the amount a woman earns, for me hubby's money is sweeter and more dignifying.

Thank you!

Gerrard59:


So, what should she do? Stick with a never-do-well man? I don't get it.

If OP has a comfortable family, she should return to them. I cannot allow my sister to be in such a condition. She is moving back to the family house. I detest irresponsible people.

I support the bolded. But divorce? Ha, provided there’s no domestic violence and the man is not a womanizer, she should devise other means to tackle the situation.
I’m telling you bro, single mothers are not finding it easy , infact , the stereotype is too much and believe me , she’ll regret 97% chances ( this is not dem say dem say ). Taking such risk doesn’t worth it especially since children are involved, and if God one punish her make her kids be girls .


She is a dumbas marrying him in the first place when she knew he’s irresponsible. This is Nigeria not yankee, she’ll turn a menace in the society if she becomes single mother

djon78:



I love your reply

Many women think Nigerian men are lazy. But that's a very big lie.

Nigeria ain't a normal country, so many men are battling with same thing: economic hardship

It's not easy for a man in this country

But women should also remember that a man down today can within a click turn around economically

And most men don't forget the way you treated them when they were down
Which most times ends in divorce

So women should bear this in mind

I have seen the scenario you painted out playing out in a lot of marriages
Presently trying to settle one like that

But most times, the men don't forget the bitter treatment they had and they never get back together.

This your reply is very factual and filled with wisdom

You make very valid points however, how are these men also treating their wives during this their 'broke'/wilderness season? A lot of them become very controlling, over sensitive and always ready for a fight over nothing. They can hardly create a peaceful atmosphere at home and would always pick up fights with their wives because they feel they're being disrespected over small inconsequential stuff.

A man's ego is very fragile during this period, and unfortunately the average woman is already over stressed taking care of the home and now pressured to take care of the finances too. Most of the men belittle their wife's efforts during this phase, and she feels unappreciated and overworked which makes tempers flare and causes friction in the home.

Men should also be more appreciative and manage their egos during this time. They should communicate more and make the home peaceful and conducive for their wives. At least even if you're unable to provide, support her and make her feel appreciated and valued. Women are not wired to be the providers especially for long periods of time. Men are mostly not willing to step in to do more on the domestic front during this time as they feel they're being disrespected because of their financial situation. So it's a tight rope to walk and it should be managed delicately with understanding from both parties.