Don't you just love how some dumb Nigerians make everything about religion. Where has religion taken the country so far. How about you just discuss the issues like mature adults and leave religion out of it

i beg to differ on this issue.

I grew up in a household where we were very comfortable with our bodies or unclothedness as you may call it and also very comfortable in our personal spaces. the boys could walk into the girls room and carry on a conversation even if we were starkers. Same for our parents. overtime the boys started being extra sensitive for their privacy; ie duck for cover if any of the girls were to walk in on them unannounced, but it didn't change things the other way round. Funny thing i realised though is that in such situations its a case of 'you can see but really cant see', more focus is on the face and mouth.

Now years down the line, has it had any negative impact on any of us? I would say no, but rather contributed to making us stronger and more confident individuals.

I sleep starkers and even prefer to walk around starkers in my personal space (my house). I am more comfortable that way. Overtime, my husband has also come into the whole lifestyle. We have 2 children, a boy 3 & girl 1.5yrs.

Dint get me wrong, Its not a throw it in your face prancing around Unclad (not after 2 kids, there is much to flaunt, LOL) but if from bed i need to attend to the kids, i would just in the exact state that i am. or if the kids come into our room, we dint duck for cover. The kids in particular like to come into our bed in the morning for a lil lie in, it is precious moments we all enjoy. I wont spoil such by driving them out coz mom or dad isn't dressed etc.

The thing to me is that, whether they kids see ours or not, they would eventually know the body parts, and what better way to teach or introduce them to it that at home, afterall charity does begin at home. How do you want to teach sex education without sights? it's like learning chemistry without chemicals

Another positive to me is the confidence, liberty and security it gives. No one and nothing could ever give them a complex about their bodies. Its all about the personal space and the ability to be you in your own space, no pretence no dress up etc.

To the person that talked about the Quran, my husband is Muslim for starters. And was the quran written in this times, when responsibilities for the kids are shared btw d 2 parents? My husband has his days when he has to sort out he kids; bath, nursery runs etc so therefore he baths both the boy and the girl. We need to learn to apply sense to religion. It is what works now, not what Jesus or Mohammed said. Such limited views is the major cause of conflict in the world today, has cost millions of lives and would continue to do so.

Maybe if and when you parcel up domestic help form 9ja, we may concede to your line of thoughts, but until then and at the end of the day, it is what works for each.

ehe,

This post reminds me of two things my wife told me recently,
My wife was with group of other married women recently at a child birthday, and the women were jisting (as usual na).
One lady said she remember what she saw as a young child. She said she saw her uncle sucking her aunties boobs (na husband and wife na), so the young girl went and asked her mother "is uncle a baby, why is uncle sucking aunties boobs"? lol lol. True story o, she must have been below 5yrs then.

Second jist was one that happended here in the UK. A young child saw her parents making out, and went an asked an aunty where were her parents behaving like animals?

Moral of the story? You'll be suprised what memories this young children can keep and even carry with them from childhood to the end of their lives,

@ whitehorse

Definitely making out in front of the kids is totally wrong. it's a different ball game from being naked oin their presence and ducking for cover or sending them out?

It is a good thing to teach manners, ie knock before you enter, but I think ducking for covers if the chance happens is teaching the kids to be ashamed in their bodies. Or that the body sef is wrong.

A woman went for antenatal with her 4year old son. At the hospital all women were shown a movie with a complete scene of a woman giving birth. When they got back the boy 'downloaded' to his dad what he has seen @ the hospital with demonstrations such as 'the woman laid down unclad, some man putin his hand in the woman's p#$$¥ etc. The following morning the father went to hospital and complain to the hospital authorities for trying to 'corrupt' his child.

Be warned!

I think this post from a previous thread captures my view in totality

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=492128.msg6532033#msg6532033

by Captured (how coincidental)

IT depends on the attitude of you and your folks. however, I must caution that you don't encourage Unclothedness within your family if you are not ready to be open about intimate matters. Kids as young as three will ask why mum does not have a third leg and why they have flat chests.
If you cant deal with such questions honestly, DO close you door to dress.
IF you are willing to discuss such then feel free.

My younger brother (the only boy) used to hide himself from the moment he could bath himself (primary sch) but was forced to expose it all when he caught a toilet infection (from his pry sch) which got quite bad because he was feeling uncomfortable with me and mum been female. No one made fun of him but the doc told him, he should have spoken earlier and since then (with much encouragement he freely talks about his privates within family.

Am married now and comfortable bath together with my son. My husband and I patiently answer any question he has about body parts as the alternative is letting him learn at school through peers or through paedophiles who mask around as teachers in nursery and primary schools

DO NOT HOWEVER ALLOW SUCH EXPOSURE WITH RELATIVES NOT EVEN COUSINS, AUNTS AND UNCLES. and do attach dad to son and mum to daughters as often as possible. if you fall out of line and pack your balls in public, itch your unmentionables in fronts of guess. your kids are going to do so its really your choice

Go to sites like parentlingweekly.com and learn how to introduce you child to personal hygiene and matters of sex by example, you get to see to pros and cons and how to manage it, when to start, when to stop.

Too bad, I have boys and dont even UnCloth in their presence and also warned my wife not to unclad in their presence. You are sending a bd signal to them. I cannot unclad myslef in the presence of my baby girl.

ewwwwwwwwww no i dont think you should still be dressing up in front of her.

or any of them for that matter

I have two kids, 4 and 2 respectively, and before now, i do dress up in their presence until i discovered they are always curiously looking in-btw my legs, this over a year ago now. I dn't think it is a good thing to dress or be exposed in the poresence of ur kids. Though my son and girl know our to call bom bom and refer to the other as 'kokoro' and they both knw it is wrong to stare at each others kokoro as they call it.

My philosophy is when a child is able to point out body parts then it is time to stop getting dressed or undressed in their presence.

There was a day i was undressing in d presense of my 3yr old nephew and i noticed that his attention was focused on my joystick and i could see him smiling and still watching my organ. The nxt thing he did is to bring out hs own joystick wt smiles on hs face and weneva he noticed that am going inside the room he wld followed me expecting to see my organ again.
So my own contribution is that u shuld nt be undressing in their presense even at dat age.

every one has an opinion but it is not clear what they base it on. just that they feel they "know"
i believe that we are mostly shaped by western middle class values as many of us live in such communities now.
as such there is a tendency to label it right or wrong. in my view it is neither
looking at it from the perspective of CONSEQUENCES i.e  benefits vs harm .  there are all kinds of psychological/primordial motifs and complexes tied in with ideas of unclothedness and shame
it is noteworthy that privileged/rich kids become aware of their unclothedness earlier and would refuse to disrobe in front of strangers earlier than their counterparts in okoko e.g. who can often be observed bathing outdoors sometimes up till the age of 10.
according to many foreign accounts in many african societies it was quite common to see adults walking about with all the bits hanging out and even today many women still display their bosoms quite openly. whether it be breastfeeding or not. again this varies with social class but there is no evidence that one set of kids develop differently for this reason.
so superficially there is no harm done necessarily

BUT there can be  harm particularly if the kids are being raised in setting where such practices are rare. ultimately kids compare notes with each other and their experiences should match fairly well for them to feel "NORMAL"
it is a rather complex subject that requires considerable knowledge but in my view it is a neutral activity that can be loaded with a lot of baggage and is probably  best avoided not because it is wrong but because most parents do not have the emotional/intellectual tools to make Unclothedness an enriching experience

yomijnr:

Don't you just love how some dumb Nigerians make everything about religion. Where has religion taken the country so far. How about you just discuss the issues like mature adults and leave religion out of it

You may not be religious but that does not mean other people don't have a right to be. If they speak off-topic it is a different manner but if they look at an issue from the perspective of their religion, it is within their rights; let them be.

A lot of ppl are saying it is bad but haven't really given any good reasons. some here even think that young girl shouldn't know that penis exists. smh. this useless puritanism will not benefit anybody.
teach your children about their private parts. also tell them that the parts are private and nobody else should touch their parts.

@OP. stop undressing in front of your girl now so she doesn't think it is routine. you wouldn't want her to be undressing in front of boys/men becos she thinks it is perfectly normal.

you can UnCloth in front of your boy though.

i cant how my mama cunt was since i saw it when i was 2 yrs,she bathed wt me.i always remember it.

[size=18pt]NIGERIANS ARE HYPOCRITES [/size]

this is also true for armenians and nepalese

chidyke77:

There was a day i was undressing in d presense of my 3yr old nephew and i noticed that his attention was focused on my joystick and i could see him smiling and still watching my organ. The nxt thing he did is to bring out hs own joystick wt smiles on hs face and weneva he noticed that am going inside the room he wld followed me expecting to see my organ again.
So my own contribution is that u shuld nt be undressing in their presense even at dat age.

i think he was happy to see that both of you were having a similar organ which he noticed was absent in her mothers own.

very very wrong

No. Never. I remember bathing with my mom when I was five,talk of trauma. It made me quite inquisitive to know if everyone was different. Pls stop now.

Nnkan be

Stop dressing infront of her

You should stop. You don't want your kids thinking it's normal for adult men or women to UnCloth in front of them. You also don't want your privates to become the topic of discussion with their friends or anyone that bothers to chat with them. Most importantly, you don't want them growing up with memories of you and your wife naked. Good luck!

To the Christians in the house :-

Leviticus 18:6-7

None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their unclothedness: I am the LORD.

The unclothedness of thy father, or the unclothedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her unclothedness.

kemmeye:




ewwwwwwwwww no i dont think you should still be dressing up in front of her.

eww alright, it's just a big no no, they are very smart from 3 & up, you'd be surprised what these kids know.

Weird thread.

Re: Should I Dress In The Presence Of My Five Year Old Daughter
« #33 on: Yesterday at 02:34:19 PM »

i beg to differ on this issue.

I grew up in a household where we were very comfortable with our bodies or unclothedness as you may call it and also very comfortable in our personal spaces. the boys could walk into the girls room and carry on a conversation even if we were starkers. Same for our parents. overtime the boys started being extra sensitive for their privacy; ie duck for cover if any of the girls were to walk in on them unannounced, but it didn't change things the other way round. Funny thing i realised though is that in such situations its a case of 'you can see but really cant see', more focus is on the face and mouth.

Now years down the line, has it had any negative impact on any of us? I would say no, but rather contributed to making us stronger and more confident individuals.

I sleep starkers and even prefer to walk around starkers in my personal space (my house). I am more comfortable that way. Overtime, my husband has also come into the whole lifestyle. We have 2 children, a boy 3 & girl 1.5yrs.

Dint get me wrong, Its not a throw it in your face prancing around Unclad (not after 2 kids, there is much to flaunt, LOL) but if from bed i need to attend to the kids, i would just in the exact state that i am. or if the kids come into our room, we dint duck for cover. The kids in particular like to come into our bed in the morning for a lil lie in, it is precious moments we all enjoy. I wont spoil such by driving them out coz mom or dad isn't dressed etc.

The thing to me is that, whether they kids see ours or not, they would eventually know the body parts, and what better way to teach or introduce them to it that at home, afterall charity does begin at home. How do you want to teach sex education without sights? it's like learning chemistry without chemicals

Another positive to me is the confidence, liberty and security it gives. No one and nothing could ever give them a complex about their bodies. Its all about the personal space and the ability to be you in your own space, no pretence no dress up etc.

To the person that talked about the Quran, my husband is Muslim for starters. And was the quran written in this times, when responsibilities for the kids are shared btw d 2 parents? My husband has his days when he has to sort out he kids; bath, nursery runs etc so therefore he baths both the boy and the girl. We need to learn to apply sense to religion. It is what works now, not what Jesus or Mohammed said. Such limited views is the major cause of conflict in the world today, has cost millions of lives and would continue to do so.

Maybe if and when you parcel up domestic help form 9ja, we may concede to your line of thoughts, but until then and at the end of the day, it is what works for each.

What she said ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Work differently for every family, but my view is that unclothedness is not unnatural, the problem most people have is that they relate it directly to sex, if you can separate those two things then all this nonsense of men not bathing their 2 year old daughters would be considered exactly that, nonsense.

Once a child starts school then of course social norms come into play so in the case of the OP and his 5 year old then there is no harm in keeping his towel on while putting on his pants especially if he is asking this question which means he feels somewhat uncomfortable with it, but sending your 5 year old out of your room because you want to get changed will IMO do her more harm.

Also lets not forget that not everybody lives in a mansion with En-suite bathrooms, if you grew up in a face-me-I-face-you then these formal levels of privacy and modestly will make you laugh.

Ilekokonit:

To the Christians in the house :-

Leviticus 18:6-7

None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their unclothedness: I am the LORD.

The unclothedness of thy father, or the unclothedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her unclothedness.

this verse is about intimate intercourse and is a prohibition common to most if not all cultures. it is really absurd to suggest that the expressions "uncover their unclothedness"  "to lie with" " to know" and similar euphemisms have any other meaning  .
approach to uncover, to my mind can have only one meaning
otherwise you are telling us that the bible say kinsmen(brothers,cousins,sisters) should not bathe together or UnCloth in front of each other as the poster is asking.


i think many so called christians often forget that their bible was not written in english anyway but that is another matter.
if you wish to look at the subject from a biblical point of view that is fine but please use something relevant

THIS IS WHAT YOUR BIBLE HAS TO SAY ABOUT LAWS GALATIANS 5:2-6
2 Listen! I, Paul, tell you this: If you are counting on circumcision to make you right with God, then Christ will be of no benefit to you. 3 I’ll say it again. If you are trying to find favor with God by being circumcised, you must obey every regulation in the whole law of Moses. 4 For if you are trying to make yourselves right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God’s grace.

5 But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us. 6 For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.

I have a friend who has bath's with her two sons who are 3 and 5, its like a treat to bath with mummy. 'if you be good you can bath with mummy' hmm na wa oh. I was quite perturbed by it.

@ poster
You can also try this before them

A very big NO