Mum side of course. Naturally women always influence which way to go thru their actions directly or indirectly.

This is not a matter of influence, it is a known fact that the paternal relatives always feel that they are in control and since the wife(mother) is not their child therefore they can do or say anything to her which psychologically affects the children. But the maternal relatives are always humble, they tend to feel the burden of their sister, the children and the family as a whole right from the beginning.

Ok for now, my paternal side are not very intimate with us (the children) and now I discovered am very close to my maternal aunt's children by making sure they are ok and getting in touch with them from time to time. My aunt confided in me that her husbands people hardly shows concern for their cousins, so one cannot really compare their likeness for the maternal side to that of the paternal side.

Just my view

8686:

Maternal, It boils down to what happens mostly in Nigerian homes. Most mothers instigate some unseen and unrealistic reasons in the early years of their wards growing up why Paternal relations are people to detach from. Either for "winchi-winchi" reasons or something. I'm just trying to make up for those strained ties,

You av said it. It happened to most people i know, our mothers cook up bad stories about our paternal side so that the children begins to have a bad mind against them. it is when we grow up that we begin to understand.

brainpulse:

You av said it. It happened to most people i know, our mothers cook up bad stories about our paternal side so that the children begins to have a bad mind against them. it is when we grow up that we begin to understand.

Sound and valid argument.

But that wasn't the case with me ooooo. My mum didn't need to tell me negative things about my father's folks they showed themselves for who they truly were without her help.

They are not evil people as such but there are just people you need to be wary of.

none

Maternal all the way.

naijababe:

. I hope and pray that your son's family do not say the same of you someday

Please if you see the truth, say it. Forget about rendering curses. She’s telling you are experience.

brainpulse:

You av said it. It happened to most people i know, our mothers cook up bad stories about our paternal side so that the children begins to have a bad mind against them. it is when we grow up that we begin to understand.

Yes this is must of the wahalas in some families. its happening amongst my inlaws. but i cant allow that to happen between my kids and their fathers siblings, i need to lay a good foundation, even tho i have not been receiving good treatments from my mum inlaw and she's been trying to discourage us not to mingle with her husbands people that's my husbands uncles and aunties the same way she brought up her children (my hubby). But i decided not to allow it, i told my hubby we need to break that yoke, what's ever had opened that was then, we are the new generations, we should not all past to hunt us.

Im close to my maternal cos they welcome me wholeheartedly
Parternal no send you at all, well it all depends shia
My mum has never told me any bad story about them, but their care is not as heavy as maternal

. I hope and pray that your son's family do not say the same of you someday

Olopa ewo n tepe? Haba

Awon frustrated abroadees yii gan  sef

Maternal, It boils down to what happens mostly in Nigerian homes. Most mothers instigate some unseen and unrealistic reasons in the early years of their wards growing up why Paternal relations are people to detach from. Either for "winchi-winchi" reasons or something. I'm just trying to make up for those strained ties,

You have a point but this isnt the case in all scenarios. I have 2 little kids and they are closer to my side of the family.This isnt because i have told them any stories about their fathers family or stuff like that but because my siblings, parents usuallly come to visit, buy them gifts all the time, generally caring about and for them and they see these things. When they are older, they would definitely wonder why daddy's relatives arent like this with them and here the 'divide' sets in