YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN LAGOS: 17 Things you must not do.

1. On a bus, When you sit by the window. Never operate your phone, It will be snatched from your hand. This is a quintessential occurence in some surbuban parts of Lagos such as Agege and Mushin. In fact, anywhere in Lagos.

2. Whenever someone greets you on the road, Do not answer him or her especially when he approaches you from behind.

3. If you see people fighting, Mind your business!!. I repeat MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!

4. You must learn how to argue with a bus conductor, when he tries cheating you.
And please whenever you do. Please don't use Standard English. You must have had a good knowledge of Pidgin before you come to Lagos. If not I can teach you. 🤣

5. Walk with a known Nigerian, on the first weeks of your stay in Lagos. He'll show you the ropes or else you go suffer.

6. Whenever you're walking in a deserted area in Lagos. Walk like a gangster, not like a responsible person. If you do, Miscreants will feel you're defensive and wouldn't come close to you. Street sense ✌🤣

7. Anything you did not find on your head, Please don't pick it. (You understand what I mean).

8. When you're crossing the road. Turn into a Ronaldo. Cars come in massive droves. They won't hit you but you must learn how to dribble them. 🤣

9. When you want to buy soft drinks, Buy soft drinks from people hawking in the traffic. It is believed that the drinks taste sweeter than the ones bought from people in shops😅. Just a belief!!

10. When you see a large number of people running, don't wait or ask questions. Just run with them. RUN RUN RUN!!! Ask when it is safe!! Run o🤣

11. Never leave Lagos without taking a ride on Third Mainland Bridge. It is a sin😅

12. Don't dance to any music you hear, never stare or laugh at people. Don't speak to anyone in the bus until they speak to you first.

13. Whenever you walk in a crowded area, hold your phone firmly in your hand, not in your bag or pocket or else Sope oti lo.

14. Whenever you want to ask for Directions, say this. "Sorry, Please, Excuse me...then ask your question". It is compulsory to say all of them. Don't omit any. Everybody is angry in Nigeria.😂

15. It's often said that the number of people who are mentally normal in Lagos aren't up to 5. In essence, If a Lagosian teases you, don't take him serious. Just be cool to prevent issues. We're mád in this Lagos!!. I am the only nórmal person in my area.

16. There's one popular "Den of scámmers" in Lagos called Computer Village. It is the most popular place for buying and repairing electronic devices. But please and please open your eyes very well before you buy fufu package in a phone case of buy a swapped electronics.😁

17. And lastly LAGOS is a comedy centre, you will love the drama you will be seeing around.

Lagos, Its mix of tradition and modernity, combined with its rich culture and entrepreneurial spirit, makes it an exciting and attractive destination for people from all over the world. Lagos is very very fun and sweet once you understand the system. It's not a bad place to be, it's just a place to be SMART and WISE!!
EKO ILE OGBON!

.

Eko' ni baje ooooo

Okay

All, do not apply.

Eko ile ogbon.
Where you must shine your eyes.

14 & 15 is very very important

Mindlog:
All, do not apply.

If u think they don't apply pls can u kindly drop ur own let's all learn?

Thanks.
Equally applicable to other major cities in Naija.

Damnnn niggar
Hell no
Nobody wanna go to that overrated damnnn slum of a place

Not to talk of learning 17 things on how to survive

Rather learn 600 things on how to survive in abuja

Have been to lagos and Abuja as a Bini son

And I must confess lagos is nosiy and a shit hole

Nothing concern Tilupu with coup d'etat in Niger. The same measure given to Ballot d'etat should be given to coup d'etat.

We don't want war against our brethren.

Those 17 things will favor me and my family.

No. 18

Australian Movie Producer made this short unprecedented Yoruba Movie. https://www.nairaland.com/7790179/best-international-yoruba-movie-made

Anything Lagos I jumped am pass...

18] dont be Igbo!
19] Secure ur skull, they mine skulls

slawomir:
Damnnn niggar

Hell no

Nobody wanna go to that overrated damnnn slum of a place

Not to talk of learning 17 things on how to survive

Do you know why Obaseki has not paid your mother's pension?
He is stealing Edo state blind and taking it to Lagos.

Keep calling Lagos a slum when you have no future.

What many people are passing through in Lagos is something else. The funny part of it all is that, average of the people suffering there would never want to relocate and try life elsewhere.

E

I’m don’t think Lagos is for me😂😂
I prefer to stay in Abeokuta, Lagos is too busy, how will I always have to be conscious of every small move I take 24/7😂😭🫴
God Abeg oo😂😂😂

Go PH you go know say Lagos dey play

Always move with your “On Your Madate I Stand “ membership card. It opens doors in Lagos.. Those that have it,get fuel for free and they shop for free in markets and malls..
Happy Sunday Fresh People of Nairaland..

SyrusdeHansome:


If u think they don't apply pls can u kindly drop ur own let's all learn?

The number 4 "You must learn how to argue with a bus conductor, when he tries cheating you. And please whenever you do. Please don't use Standard English. You must have had a good knowledge of Pidgin before you come to Lagos. If not I can teach you".

I am very fluent in Yoruba and Pidgin English but even the last time I was in a bus years ago, I maintained my "Standard English" despite the threats by the bus conductor that he would not give me my N400 change, that I committed a crime by giving him N500. He was ranting in a mix of Yoruba and Pidgin English and I maintained a fixed gaze on him as I do psychiatric patients without responding to his rants, his rants began to weaken and the bus became quiet, I told the driver in a low tone I was dropping off at the next bus stop and the driver told the conductor to please give me my change and he meekly did so.

If you think you are crazy, I spent millions of naira and years in schools to learn how to deal with crazy people.

Upon wetin wey person go suffer like this?

we dnt knw the BOSS between computer village/ALABA. Even up till today,ALABA boys from that side they SCAM steady. If nah lie,go to technology/phones thread.

Those economic refugees whose region is controlled by non-state actors will cram this thread.

They prefer to come to Lagos than go to heaven. Spits.

Eko wengele

Shithole state

Talk about fufu packaged in a phone 📱 like Gbadebo Vivour...Nna boy packaged as Yoruba candidate for Lagos

In Lagos, don't bring your "Holier than thou" attitude to someone who dresses obscene in the street. Just mind your business