Jewessgratitud3:
..

Im not the lady in the story.

I hope you don't go around dishing bad advice to the said person, with your rude and abusive comments am seeing up and down.

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

Comment from a bloody single.. What do you know since u don't hv any experience

wallarwallar:



Comment from a bloody single.. What do you know since u don't hv any experience

Hahaha 🤣😂🤣😂. E pain am!

[quote author=Anfieldboss post=125098380]

See it is not even about the fact that the man is earning 150k, that is why he is upset. The man is upset because "his so called in-laws made life difficult for him just because he wants to marry their daughter". I have seen men that are very well to do, and encountered such from their in laws. The in laws were so demanding just because the man wanted to marry their daughter, after the wedding, the men refused his wife from going to see her people, neither can the woman's people visit her in her matrimonial home (in a bid to pay their in laws back for stressing them out for wanting to marry their daughter)

Families should know that because a man is coming for your daughter's hand in marriage, you should not tax and overburden him.

Ultimately, I blame the man for still going ahead with the marriage despite seeing the overbearing attitude and over demands from his would be in laws. He would have simply walked away and would have found a better girl from a better family background.
[/quote
You have said it all.
Same thing happened to one of my ex gf. The guy that wanted to marry her went to her family house to collect list. On getting there, they overbilled him. He even got mad but the girl is a good girl. The girl never supported the family. She talked to the parents but they didn't listen she even got angry and left them. At the end of the day, The guy got married to the girl and promised not to send the wife's parent money.
Last year December they were expecting money. But the guy didn't send them a dime. When they asked the wife she told them that the husband borrowed money to marry her that he's still trying to pay back.

Nonsense Daughter and Hungry Father.


You wait for your daughter to grow up and be insisting on what you could not afford.

The eediot said her husband is well to do with 150k salary.

If my gurl tries this nonsense i"m reading here, i would leave her for her parents to marry her. Or I would tell the parents that I'm not marrying their daughter anymore

The lady in context aren't really smart.

he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice,

I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it. He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow.

FROM SOMEONE THAT'S COMPLAINING
This vagina people dey funny sha

Using the word "if you love me, you should provide what they asked for", is one of the tools used by women to emotionally blackmail the men or whoever they want to manipulate.

The man discovered he is being manipulated and he hates it.

When I read through your comment I wondered if you think people who earn a honest small income should marry at all.
Bride price shouldn't be too rigid as happiness and a working home for the two is what is paramount not any price that end in the bride family. I blame the husband, he should have maintained his stance on what he can afford based on his earnings. If the family refused his honest submission then the bride go look for someone else who is capable and he look for another lady whose family do not place too much importance on material and monetary price but rather good and happy home for their daughter.
I love my woman does not mean that I should overstretched myself for a one day event. The event of that single day called ceremony does not in anyway indicate true love or how it's going to be after.

May our mouth not lead to our destruction in Jesus'Name, Amen!

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with. ........

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed

Na dt ya papa go marry u las-las!

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

You and your parents are the kind of people that no one should approach for relationship.

Just listen to yourself. "Is he not the one who sought your hand in marriage. He should do everything... "
Silly people.

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

if I will advise the guy he should calm down and love his wife but the wife's family should not come near their house

If the loan collected by this guy is interest free, the lady should go and collect interest loan to offset it

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

For someone like me... I go don back out... Na your papa go find another husband for you. I will even disgrace that your father. I will as if nothing happened. On the wedding day, na my absence them go see. Nonsense

iLoveYouToo:
This same story again?


https://www.nairaland.com/7796598/new-marriage-crash

Same story rehashed over and over again.

iLoveYouToo:
This same story again?


https://www.nairaland.com/7796598/new-marriage-crash

Same story rehashed over and over again. This was in 2009

He won't pay twice another foolish line of tot from GenZ. All I gave to my inlaw was returned to me that they were not selling their daughter. We just concluded the burial of my mother in law last weekend n every member of the family were there n they thanked for the little I had to contribute.

While a man should prepared financially going into marriage families should also be understanding knowing that fingers are not equal

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

Very pathetic for a young marriage like this,I think d young man over react now cos he should have shown this attitude when there was still time to walk away when those over expense demands were given by his father in law to be then.well in my own case once I paid what is in d bride price list how the occasion will be solely depend on me except u want to support me then u can tell me how u want d hall n whatever to be.cos in d occasion everyone including my in laws are my guest and I'm d host.and besides I can't go to loan huge money just to show off for just a day.d young man should not put d blame on his wife he supposed to tell his father in law dat he is planning his marriage base on his financial capacity.if d father in law don't accept den d postpone it till when he is financially ok to run it as he want.

Nigerians are so greedy, ungrateful and insensitive.
I hope you and your family have enjoyed your extortion and one day of fame? Now that you have dented the man’s ego with your demands, you don’t want to live with the consequences?
The man has given you and your greedy/ poverty stricken family what you want, GIVE HIM THE LIFETIMES OF PEACE & QUIET HE ALSO WANTS!
You cannot eat your cake & have it!

njoryor:


Same story rehashed over and over again. This was in 2009

Tech bro 😎

Women should know that a man is not looking for burden, but a partner to help and improve his life.[b][/b]

This enter my body, thank you my mentor boss

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

I agree with you, he should have backed out immediately they presented such a list to him

Jewessgratitud3:


Mr maturity, if them born you well, try go marry a woman earning 70k with 100k salary, body go tell you. It is people like you that use your sentiments to override logical reasoning and reality, then end up in a huge mess.

As s a single lady, I'm earning way above 100k with other side hustles that bring in money and I know how it feels to survive on such income in a month not to talk of earning that as a couple.

You talk as if you can control birth when it's infact, younger generations like you that don't know the a-z of family planning and will immediately start birthing children like rats.

Abeg, try another line cos if na my age you want take shame me, you don fail. Me no give a hoot cos last I checked, I look and feel 20 years younger than you and the so called age.

Try again.

Trash

Jecci:
Who needs your notice. Like it pays my bills or what.

Thought with age comes reasoning but sadly I can't say the same for you.

Why are u wasting time replying that thing.

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like what's happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

Haunty, you have done many things wrong. If you loved your husband, you would have sat to plan everything including finances but you chose to behave like other of your Imo state girls.

What the hell should your family detect how the wedding is to be planned even compelling him to buy a cow and the kind of hall they want? Rubbish!

Secondly, you don't even have a good manner and your choice of words and response to him is weird. Imagine, telling your husband that if he loves you, he should pay for everything your parents demanded. Yet you knew his salary.

Now, you want him to be happy, and care of you with a loan to be paid. Yet, you have no job or work to talk about.
I think the guy is a SIMP. What was special about you? Nonsense! I pity guys that go to borrow for marriage ceremony

mask3:
I personally blame him for still going ahead to marry her.

The nigga is a pussy man

The way some parents behave when it comes to this less than 24 hrs program they call wedding eh, you'll think they are the ones that manufactured the lady ni. What would God that gives freely now do? The only mistake the guy did was to put all the blames on the wife. Since he's endured getting things done in the in laws way eh, he should just take the decision not to have anything done with them again since they've succeeded in selling their daughter.

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

From the post is obvious he got married to young girl who has nothing doing at the moment.

Baba I know someone who earned 80k when he got married, the lady was a working-class lady they collaborated. Everything worked fine , they had some business together before they eventually travel out of the country with their cute kids.

Men stop putting yourself under unnecessary pressure on yourself trying to be a man, men's life matter. Get yourself a working-class woman. You guys don't know the benefit of having a woman that has something doing, not everyone will be rich.

It will be hard to change his mood, if that is what is truly bothering him.
Your family should have been considerate.
I don't know why he had to put himself under unnecessary pressure.
Paying the bride price was already tough, why should you allow your family dictate the venue and items for the wedding, when you already know his financial constraints?

Why repeat this same story

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

See, you have to apologize to your husband. That statement "you are the one that want to marry me' disgust me a lot. I can quit a relationship if a lady says such to me. It means you don't love or value him at all.

I will never take a loan for a day wedding is just a day marriage is life time so if we can agree beyond my own power we quit your dad can't be forcing things in as much as i love u but I can't withstand what you want and you can be understanding i let you go and look for another wife all this things are common sense