Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Some men are wicked. He doesn't have to be destructive for any reason. He shouldn't beat you even if the marriage is heading to divorce.

Everyone in a marriage or whatever relationship is coping with the difficulty that comes with two or more people living together. So they shouldn't be harm or whoever does that is the beast.

In anger, keep a good distance after you have made your points of view and annoyance known over and over. And don't chase shadows.

NairaMaster1:


I wish you forsake that your friend who advised you to lock him up. From your story your husband is not even a trouble maker. You failed to understand the fact that he's depressed.

... He destroyed her phone and he's not a trouble maker? What if he did worse? What if he stabbed her in the guise of being drunk?
Na until he kill her before una go know say the man dey irresponsible

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

You are a good woman. Encourage him to be a man. He was wrong too. But you are a good and rare woman don't arrest him ever again, if you tired of his excesses leave him. I know a husband who they av called the cops on more than 4 times. The 5th one the police said they see nothing wrong and directed her to women affairs and her parents still went ahead to call soldiers. She claims to always be beaten but from what we gathered, the guy is not that type and has always tried to run and avoid her. Neghbours labelled her as the abusive one and wondered y the guy has not even beaten her to Pulp despite her abominable insults. They are good women, no one is asking for a perfect woman but a woman with a heart at least, you sure have a heart

Just try fear women sha , forget all these epistle.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

Goalnaldo:
Come to me. I'll treat you like a princess you are 😘

See you.😏

Na Amotekun she call go For you, to FLOG you when You Fcvk up. 🤨😏

How can a Man, Marry a Woman who Locks him inside Police station, because of Domestic Fight?

This forum is the worst place for advice.

Males here: she raised hands on you, beat her to stupor so she will never try that rubbish again, I dealt with her so much she couldn't walk, I won't ever take such rubbish from any woman who lays hands on me

Women here: I will never support what you did to him, he has a right to defend himself by beating you to stupor, why did you go and fight with him?

Today they are slurring words on a man trying to blackmail her for putting him in the right place.

ExudeLoveToAll:



Critical thinking skills is actually endangered currently.

Why didn't you dscern that I commented only based on the bolded statement above where she said she doesn't tolerate nonsense as an addendum to her earlier assertion.

Let me school you since you have decided to use your emotions to think rather than your brain.

What my response meant is that in a relationship between spouses no one is perfect, everyone exude one triat or the other which the other partner may find offensive in one way or the other , if one isn't able to exude tolerance it will be difficult to even live with non sexual partners of same sex talk more of sexual of opposite sex.

I really don't know where you fetched that interretation from but my advice for you is that before asserting yourself especially in a public forum bring your critical thinking skills to the fore rather than going to the gutters.

Have a great day

Mr school! No one should condole or tolorate violence in marriage or friendship. It is a very common sense.

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

You did well..... Since he laid his hands on you and the kids.. U did well

talented321:
Beating u up is a big time fuckup'' but you arrest him because u are doing better than him' if not there would have been another method to settle the issue''
Your husband don't have work at the moment and he is traumatized' it is not easy for a man who was once feeding the family and having some cash to spend to depend on a woman for survival''
Your husband may forgive u but i don't think he will forget the incident in a hurry' because it sound like an oppression to him''
You are in best position to arrange ur house''
Something might be right in ur hand but depend on the action u take, you will be blamed at the end'''

Are you trying to defend a man who is reluctant to find another job? Show some level of comprehension here while you re-read the post...

Unfortunately, the marriage is gone.

Wish you luck in your future relationship.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Madam leave am
Na irresponsible person... When I get no job I look for other subtle ways to feed my fam.

When I was doing my MSC, My wife pack all her belongings and the children stuff and join me in the state in which I was studying, I nearly died that night...

We leave in other state for 3yrs plus, I have to turn to project, disertstation writer over night..... That was my saving grace those days... No man should folds up his hand shouting no job yet drink to stupor what sort of men does that..

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

Madam no nonsense, i hope you have gotten yourself a husband or at least a stable relationship yet.

BeigJawnson:


Are you trying to defend a man who is reluctant to find another job? Show some level of comprehension here while you re-read the post...

Did the OP say the above?

Sorry about the whole thing madam. It's always like that when men have issues with work.

Always engage him and make him lively. This too shall pass away

On his behalf, I say am deeply sorry.
God bless your family.

royalfly:


You are a good woman. Encourage him to be a man. He was wrong too. But you are a good and rare woman don't arrest him ever again, if you tired of his excesses leave him. I know a husband who they av called the cops on more than 4 times. The 5th one the police said they see nothing wrong and directed her to women affairs and her parents still went ahead to call soldiers. She claims to always be beaten but from what we gathered, the guy is not that type and has always tried to run and avoid her. Neghbours labelled her as the abusive one and wondered y the guy has not even beaten her to Pulp despite her abominable insults. They are good women, no one is asking for a perfect woman but a woman with a heart at least, you sure have a heart

Lol.


That's how Osinachi began her dance. Bad advice is worse than ignorance.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

..... Broz the woman didn't do anything wrong.... For usa, man no dey do half of this nonsense before them throw am out and issue him a restraining order... He's drunk and destroyed her phone because he's depressed.... Who knows what he will do next!!! Na until he kill her out of depression before he go get sense He even accused her of cheating!!! What nonsense!!

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

Well, I guess that would be the end of the marriage.. you'd be prepared to be divorced.

Vinnie2000:


See you.😏

Na Amotekun she call go For you, to FLOG you when You Fcvk up. 🤨😏

How can a Man, Marry a Woman who Locks him inside Police station, because of Domestic Fight?

You can only marry your type. Neive women who cannot stand for themselves.

Don't rush urself'' calm down

BeigJawnson:


Are you trying to defend a man who is reluctant to find another job? Show some level of comprehension here while you re-read the post...

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find another one.

Very good advise...


That's if she'd have a Marriage to return to.

You'd have also figured that out too.

Not supporting any assault though but Wisdom is profitable to guide

Would you be okay with your wife breaking your dishes and beating you up just because you didn't cook when you got home after a long day at work when she was at home doing nothing?

Dexy4yah:

Women have always been known for giving their fellow women advise that would destroy their homes....

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

That's why you are unmarried

ORIAYO70:



Madam leave am
Na irresponsible person... When I get no job I look for other subtle ways to feed my fam.

When I was doing my MSC, My wife pack all her belongings and the children stuff and join me in the state in which I was studying, I nearly died that night...

We leave in other state for 3yrs plus, I have to turn to project, disertstation writer over night..... That was my saving grace those days... No man should folds up his hand shouting no job yet drink to stupor what sort of men does that..

Imagine using one side of a story to judge and to condemn the other party.

Tomorrow now, you self go say you sabi give advise.

Have you ever seen anyone come online to say the truth about their role in a dispute that went south?

Amumaigwe:


Madam no nonsense, i hope you have gotten yourself a husband or at least a stable relationship yet.

In order to get such, she must endure beatings?

The way some of you have integrated into society is worrisome.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

If all what you wrote was the actual truth, then I must tell you that you should not feel guilty for locking him up for 2days ( though it may be a bit harsh but anything to stay alive at the time was a necessity).

So you should be thankful to God that you are alive. That's the most important thing now because in most cases, the way you narrated how erratic he was that night, you could have lost your life then he will start blaming the devil.

Don't allow anyone bully you to start thinking otherwise. Divorce or no divorce, marriage or no marriage, staying alive should be the priority.

The moment you locked up your “Husband” you already signed your divorce form.. I’m surprised how you’re comfortable sleeping in the same house with him… do you know things that went through his head all night in the cell?? Or you think Nigeria police station is a place where you can sleep and wake up like hotel…. Your husband is a useless man for raising his hands on you and you’ve lost a useless man so carry your kids and leave the house!

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

You've done nothing wrong here except if you truly cheat. Time heal wounds, but I advise you to be making future plans for you and your kids. A man that sees his loving wife has the reason for his predicament is not someone to trust totally again

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

.... Madam, u did nothing wrong!!!!
If u did nothing, next time, it may be worse than this.
If he's depressed really, he will look for a job and not go about smashing phones and beating up a woman... Real men who are depressed find solutions to their problems... They don't go about beating their wives and smashing phones....
In advanced countries, he will go to jail and served a restraining order but welcome to Africa where women are expected to eat the shit off men and do nothing about it

BRATISLAVA:


In order to get such, she must endure beatings?

The way some of you have integrated into society is worrisome.

You automatically believed her?

Nigerians

UnfairLife7:
the earlier you know domestic violence shouldn't be tolerated in marriage or friendship the better for you.

Abusive woman, like constant insult and daily torment towards the man, is that domestic voil3nce too? If the man reterlates with a slap, that's the real domestic violence? Am just asking. Men are the real victims, most times. Please men what ever u do, never heat a woman. I know it can be hard with a very abusive woman. It's a trap. The world is the reason for the problems we face.