Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

Have you considered getting someone that he respects involved in this matter? He's obviously depressed and needs help.

at the end of the day that Man gets a job, hmmmm you will beg for divorce

Kobojunkie:
Better the marriage die than the woman die leaving her kids orphans abeg!

Yes. Good for everyone.

I dont know why men marry in the first place. Such a waste of time.

UnfairLife7:
rather put, the man has lost a precious woman who fed him for two years without his penny. Even if the man become billionaire today he can't find someone like Op.

Women like you have shitty brain. She fed him for just two years, meaning that he has been feeding her since ever. You see why women are not created to live a happy marital life? Much selfishness. The moment the man bounces back, she will attempt to reposition herself to reap where she never sowed which usually ends in tears.

DavidTech23:
■ You didn't tell us what you said to warrant the phone smashing

WOW... Do you actually believe there is a valid reason why you would want to attack another human being and destroy property that is not yours?

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

A man's ego is like his life,trust me you just bruised it.being a man I can give you a manipulative solution,but I'm a real nigga so I won't.just invite someone he respects and let the person speak for you that you only did what you did because you felt that in that state he could have hurt you and the kids.even cite the fact that he stayed for two days the policemen elongated his stay because you couldn't provide a bribe,let him tell your husband that you still love and honor him, reason you have not run away since he Lost his job.Do this and come back and say thank you

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

Everything is so wrong about this comment. If all that she wrote in her initial post then the man should be blamed rather than bashing the lady for arresting the husband. A wife that is shouldering the responsibility of a man should be praised rather than trying to pants are bad. Perhaps you are a woman beater as the rest people who liked your comment.

The both of u are wrong

Hisincrease:


I agree with your submission.
But take this, marriage can definitely change you. Marriage can make you violent. It takes extra Grace to remain calm in extreme situations.

May God send us help in the days when our strength fail us.

Amen

Procashtips:


You automatically believed her?

Nigerians

And you automatically believe the absent husband is innocent?

Nigerian men

Verokeena:



This your comment is really unfair...

This has nothing to do with his financial status.. for two years i tried everything within my strength to make him not feel like he was jobless.. at a point i connected him to a job but he turned it down cos he feels that position is too low for him..



But thanks for your contributions

my sister,you have tried jare.
Am sorry to say,you married a boy,the lost job was just an excuse.
Person wey suppose dey pamper you com dey do you like pampers (dey do shit to you).

People can be so mean sha.(spits)

missyblissy:
Op if you know what is good for you and your kids, move out now before he drags you down with him. When one spouse is down, the other holds the forth, which you did. Why will you pick the kids from school when hubby is around to help.

If you act the same way after losing your job, how will you be treated? Please women stop condoning and accepting rubbish. No man should hit a woman no matter the reason. What if he had broken your legs in the process what will happen to your job and kids.

Thank you! We should always remember Osinachi ooo!

Samantha124:
If your wife did the same thing her husband did to her, would you be okay with it?

judging from one side is bad, think, who gave him money to be drinking all the time? had it been the man came back and see food believe me he will eat and sleep without talking or disturbing any body

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Poor lady. In as much as I don’t support locking him up, destroying your belongings, hitting you and accusing you falsely is to me , way more bad

braine:
■ I am not saying that. But no one is beyond provocation. She should go if truly he's an animal.

Again, Men without money turn into animals and attack their family members. Is that what you are saying?

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Do not feel guilty, he deserves to be locked up for more than two day. He should get his lazy ass up and go look for a job. I despise men who don't take care of their families.

Amumaigwe:


Women like you have shitty brain. She fed him for just two years, meaning that he has been feeding her since ever. You see why women are not created to live a happy marital life? Much selfishness. The moment the man bounces back, she will attempt to reposition herself to reap where she never sowed which usually ends in tears.

FYI, i am a man not a woman.

Try dey talk true

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Madam I salute you. You haven't done anything wrong. What if the man kill you in the process of hitting you? The man will end up marry another woman. Believe me he will now respect you and won't dear misbehave again. Just continue to be respectful later he will accept your apology.

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

You did the right thing. A man over 30 abusing alcohol while unemployed is seriously joking with his life. I drastically cut down my alcohol intake the minute I said Hi to 30 (the risk factors are just too many to ignore). That time he's wasting drinking can be used to find gainful or any employment.

I'm a man and if a woman whether wife or girlfriend damage even my laptop and PS4 I will call police for you never mind physical. I have no shame. Women can kill men too. Never mind Man vs Woman. So you did the right thing

He needs a wake up call. From maybe a male figure he respects. Or an ultimatum from you. Life is not easy for anyone but facing it with clear eye is still your best bet

braine:
■ Well, they both messed up. But the extent the matter has gone, they should simply go their separate ways.

So, even if they both want to, they shouldn't even try to reconcile and mend the marriage? Do you listen to yourself at all?

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Man can feed a woman for 20yrs there will be no problem, BUT woman can only feed man for 2months and NL go hearam

"This life no balance"

ogascomax:


Everything is so wrong about this comment. If all that she wrote in her initial post then the man should be blamed rather than bashing the lady for arresting the husband. A wife that is shouldering the responsibility of a man should be praised rather than trying to pants are bad. Perhaps you are a woman beater as the rest people who liked your comment.

You are trying to explain a difficult concept for these people to understand. To them, she is the problem, anything he does should be accepted. Until he kills her with beatings. Then they will say he was provoked or that she should've left. They are full of justification for battery, murder, rape and other evils. Perhaps they are guilty of such things, so they give room to it.

If these people were part of a forward thinking society, they would all be in jail.

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

it is our full responsibility to feed and take care of them if only the pained single mothers amongst them would not brainwash them into acting equal with men

"He is going through a lot" ... Arrant bullshit. I personally know a man who was without a job for almost 5 years and during that time, the man will go out everyday to look for work. Any day he doesn't go out, he sits his ass at home and keeps a low profile. Not once did he ever maltreat his wife or disrespect her. He didn't drink or smoke, and he kept his depression well hidden. The same wife had to do dry fasting for him before he got the job that lifted his family out of poverty. The long-suffering wife was a civil servant and she used the peanut money she was earning to fend for the family in the best way she could, and even when she complained bitterly about the situation, the man always kept quiet. Is that not a man too? Does he have 10 heads?

Please Verokeena, your husband has no excuse for his actions and the arrest is very well deserved. He should appreciate you instead of being the ungrateful slob he is showing himself to be.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

I really don't blame her for arresting him but it would have been better he just signed an undertaken at the police station rather than locking him up.

If he is allowed to get away with it the first time, the horror would keep occurring and would progress from bad to worse.

The man's insecure and miserable and in a very toxic state.

Even if he becomes a billionaire tomorrow, nothing justifies him destroying his wife's property or beating her up. It was as if he wanted to take the wife down with him.

delpee:
■ Have you considered getting someone that he respects involved in this matter? He's obviously depressed and needs help.

Why would getting a third party help any?

Procashtips:


Assumption is actually one of the lows of intelligence.

Because some Nigerians are known to be fraudsters means I should believe you and every member of your family are fraudsters because someone said so, afterall, you guys are Nigerian?

How does the above sound?

did i said all men? The fact that Op hubby is irresponsible doesn't mean all men are irresponsible.

People are say she,s not wrong she is not wrong, I bet you if the love the man get for you is 90 percent, it had reduced to 30 percent things will not be the same any more,we are African ,s for God's sake women should courteous, I,m supporting the man ooo,

Nairaland is a Nigerian forum, the men here are always biased* and supportive of their malefolk. They will always support evi!l comm'itted by their menfolk no matter what. Never take all the advice/condem'nation from them.

You did the right thing to get him arres'ted. He has a duty to provide for his family, rather than provide, he is drinking and keeping late nights. He lost his job and you are trying your best to provide. Even if there was no food, he is supposed to be understanding. some women would have abandoned him for being unable to provide. He was very wrong to tearrr your clothes, destroy your phone, accuse you and had the guts to beat* you.

Yes it was right to get him arrested*, you have taught him a good lesson.

Stop feeling guilty, and if possible stop apologizing, the more you apologize, the more he will ignore you so that you feel guilty.

Reduce the way you spend in that home, save more, draw your children closer, you can pray about it, then whatever will be, take it like a strong woman.

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

madam, simple question, how often do you allowed him to make love to you during this period of joblessness. Before a man can start doubting his children there must be a red flag somewhere. Some women tend to cut off sexually from there husband when their husband is financially incapacitated and any reasonable man will believed the woman is having an affair outside of she is not giving him the sex at home. Madam check yourself.

Anyone who arrest you has automatically becomes your enemy for life. I don't think your husband will ever forgive you even if he says he has. I think you can solve this problem the family way.

If you still love your home kindly find a way to solve it.

You were actually preventing your husband From making love to you because he was jobless that's what made the matter worst . You hated him and it shouldn't have been so

A40:
You did the right thing. A man over 30 abusing alcohol while unemployed is seriously joking with his life. I drastically cut down my alcohol intake the minute I said Hi to 30 (the risk factors are just too many to ignore). That time he's wasting drinking can be used to find gainful or any employment.

I'm a man and if a woman whether wife or girlfriend damage even my laptop and PS4 I will call police for you never mind physical. I have no shame. Women can kill men too. Never mind Man vs Woman. So you did the right thing

He needs a wake up call. From maybe a male figure he respects. Or an ultimatum from you. Life is not easy for anyone but facing it with clear eye is still your best bet

Sharap!!!!
What do you know, what have u seen.

Don't you know that whoever arrest you is your enemy.