Procashtips:


So people who went to the university to become stock traders are gamblers?

People who went to the university to study weather forecast are gamblers?

Prophets (seers) are gamblers?

Traders who risk money to buy and sell to make money are what since gambling to you is about risking money to make money?

Is there anything you're not risking something to achieve in this life if this is your definition of gambling?

Economics graduates who use economic data and indices to forecast boom or doom for companies, businesses and even countries are gamblers?

An entrepreneur who create products with the hope that there's going to be demands for these products based on market research and forecast is a gambler?

Even you who went to bed with the speculation that you'll wake up the next day is a gambler?

Big companies (Dangote, MTN, Accessbank, JB, Dowjones etc) listing their market value shares on the stock exchange for speculators to buy and sell which in term help their company do well in the eyes of the public are also gamblers?

Everything listed above are speculations(forecast)

Life itself is all about speculation.

All the above analogies are based on your response.

I want to see you seperate these realities from forex trading/stock brokage since they're same with sport betting /baba ijebu.

You're just having comprehension problems here. Check dictionary definition of the word "gamble" to learn.

As someone who once undertook a risk management course, I'm aware that there are elements of risk in most of the things we do in life. But there are certain "threshold of risk" that can be reached in your business or dealings, it will automatically become a gamble.

Also, gambling is not only stricted to sports bet or casino. You can gamble with your business, family, career etc. For example; I'm a fan but Putin gambled with his administration when he decided to invade Ukraine. The fallout in the last 2 years shows how highly risky that decision was to his tenure.

You can't compare the odd of a market woman losing her capital with that of a Forex trader. A forex trader is 1000x more likely to lose his capital on the long run than a petty trader in the market because of the "threshold of risk" involve in forex trading.

It's the threshold of risk involved that made it to be categorized as a 'gamble' along side sports betting because both share same nature of extreme risk.

prettycute90
Gambling is an chronic addiction. Much like smoking and drinking.

Spiritually speaking, it is an evil spirit. And he can get his deliverance and freedom like many people who have.

In the Lord's Chosen Church, start attending and the your husband to follow you.
He will be free either from day 1 or as he continues.

Procashtips:


Forex trading is not gambling just as trading stocks, shares and indices.

Where do you guys get the notion that forex is same as gambling?

you don't know the meaning of gambling.Any speculation is gambling forget grammar.

Princewill1:
You're just having comprehension problems here. Check dictionary definition of the word "gamble" to learn.

As someone who once undertook a risk management course, I'm aware that there are elements of risk in most of the things we do in life. But there are certain "threshold of risk" that can be reached in your business or dealings, it will automatically become a gamble.

Also, gambling is not only stricted to sports bet or casino. You can gamble with your business, family, career etc. For example; I'm a fan but Putin gambled with his administration when he decided to invade Ukraine. The fallout in the last 2 years shows how highly risky that decision was to his tenure.

You can't compare the odd of a market woman losing her capital with that of a Forex trader. A forex trader is 1000x more likely to lose his capital on the long run than a petty trader in the market because of the "threshold of risk" involve in forex trading.

It's the threshold of risk involved that made it to be categorized as a 'gamble' along side sports betting because both share same nature of extreme risk.

The more examples you give, the more it exposes your knowledge on the subject matter.

You even went ahead to use Putin and Russia as a case study which exposes you the more.

What do you know about the SMO going on in Ukraine?

You are talking about risk, yet bringing up examples you can't defend.

You claim to have gone through risk management course, yet do not know the difference between sport betting (gambling) and forex(currency/stock/commodities/indices) trading.

I don't want to lecture you on the difference since I didn't assert, and since you did the assertion, kindly tell us how you arrived at sport betting and forex trading having same threshold of risk.

I'm 100% sure you do not know Forex trading is not just about currency trading.

I guess people working in Nigeria stock exchange market, London stock exchange market, Tokyo stocm Exchange market or new york stock exchange markets are gamblers

Or those banks employ solely to trade the financial markets

Or Buffet and the big names out there who frequent the these markets.

If you count all the above as gambling, then you're nothing but naive on this subject matter.

millionboi2:
you don't know the meaning of gambling.Any speculation is gambling forget grammar.

Meaning everything we do on earth (all have a bit of speculation in them) is gambling.

So?

Una just dey shout separate from him.. bla bla bla. None of us knew when the going was good . Madam if down in ur heart u feel your best decision is to leave the marriage then go ahead. But if u know this dude isn't that useless as you painted then have a rethink.

No one on tells a story that doesn't favour him/her . It is well with your Marriage.

If your husband is a church goer, then tell his pastor about his habits but if he doesn't go to church I will advise you take your children and leave that hell u call a marriage because your mental health and that of your children matters alot. I believe you are still very much young so starting life from a different environment will help you a lot note your husband can never change.

DaddyCoool:


And suppose(God forbid) a good, hard-working man were framed and jailed and loses his business. When he gets out his wife is automatically the bread winner.
What then?

I understand that uncertainties can happen to the man, but determined and obvious efforts should be made by the man to get something doing. It's not that the man will then relax and not make efforts after what happens.

Madam God bring you together so that your will help him stop that rubbish. Fast and pray! Any time you want to serve him food make positive declarations! “As you eat this food the spirit of Gambling will die in Jesus name!, you will love me alone! You will love Christ “

zakkxx:
Madam God bring you together so that your will help him stop that rubbish. Fast and pray! Any time you want to serve him food make positive declarations! “As you eat this food the spirit of Gambling will die in Jesus name!, you will love me alone! You will love Christ “

Stop lying! God washed his hands off marriage and child bearing in Genesis 3 vs 16 - 24. And He reiterated that Marriages are of this world and not the Kingdom of God in Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. So how could God have given her this man to help him stop .... what rubbish talk is that?

Solsix:

My mom took care of us when my father was down financially. Nobody knew except us

I bet it was clear your dad was TEMPORALLY down and would soon become the breadwinner again. Different from she's breadwinner and permanently far richer than your dad!

caandi:
I don’t quite agree to this advice.

The man might end up abusing those children or molesting them out of frustration and spite for the woman

Someone that can’t fend for himself, what if he decides to sell the children?

From op’s write up she said her first child is meant to start school but no money, this means she has 1 toddler and a baby with her!

She can drop the kids for his parents though or hers if they’re alive!

OP is obviously not telling the whole story. A man who only cares for gambling, and doesn't care for his children will not be clamoring to be the one the children stay with. Also don't forget OP will be keeping an eye on them

lendahand:
that's not the way God made it to be. A woman was never made to provide but to support the provider and bear children

But sometimes things happen. No where does it say that if a wife rises permanently above her husband and becomes the breadwinner she must become insultive and bossy!

franchasofficia:
My problem with ladies is mostly on how and who they accept as spouse.


This is the beginning of every woman's problem in life.


How the hell did you accept to marry such a lazy, irresponsible man?


He had no business getting married and in fact impregnating any woman for C's sake.


If I were the President, I would have made ruthless policies to deal with this kind of irresponsible men.



To all the single unmarried ladies reading, hope you ladies are learning from all these threads?


If you like, as a single unmarried lady, keep forming "I no send your money", "money dont move me", "he thinks I will fall for his money" and all those useless talks to portray yourself as a virtuous woman that can provide for herself and in the name of trying to recreate love you reject viable men with prospects to accept one dingbat that promises you tomorrow will be better based on the yeye movies he watched on Nollywood films and you agree. Na you go suffer am.


The world has changed and still changing more, love is never enough reason to marry anyone in our current world, before you marry any man, check his ability to provide, it is Biblical not a sin.


A man's ability to provide for you and kids is number one quality to consider not how tall abi long or handsome with 30 packs he has.



A lazy man relies on luck and gambling to succeed, run away from such men. Any man hoping to hammer one day through gambling or destiny is already a disaster and a failure don't marry such man, don't even date him unless its just for temporary fun.

You spoke like a fool you are,let me ask you did you carry any money from your mothers womb when you were born, what makes you think tomorrow can never be better if not your foolishness.

Brunicekid:
I understand that uncertainties can happen to the man, but determined and obvious efforts should be made by the man to get something doing. It's not that the man will then relax and not make efforts after what happens.

No matter what the man gets doing, as long as his wife makes more and is the breadwinner, he go chop insults from her and bossiness, and constant complaints about little things

Coolbite:
If you are in Lagos, and would want to work in Lagos, you can mail me today or reach me on 08150804239

quote her and paste this,so she can see it.

DaddyCoool:


But sometimes things happen. No where does it say that if a wife rises permanently above her husband and becomes the breadwinner she must become insultive and bossy!

if a man bearing children is abnormal, a woman providing becomes abnormal equally. If a woman becomes bossy and insulting in this abnormal situation, you don't blame her much.

Mind you, a woman assisting in doing one or two things temporarily is normal but a prolonged sole catering of the entire family will twist the normalcy and cause her to go across board.

He will never change! Get a lawyer, you could win custody of the children after divorce!!!

lendahand:
if a man bearing children is abnormal, a woman providing becomes abnormal equally. If a woman becomes bossy and insulting in this abnormal situation, you don't blame her much.

Mind you, a woman assisting in doing one or two things temporarily is normal but a prolonged sole catering of the entire family will twist the normalcy and cause her to go across board.

I don't blame her at all, only stating a fact:
Women RESENT being breadwinners!

yollychika:
He will never change! Get a lawyer, you could win custody of the children after divorce!!!

Not according to Google

Prettycute90:
Since we got married, everything about the upkeep, rents, bills, feeding, general upkeep. I mean everything is on me and he has refused to provide for us as he always claimed he doesn't have. I have always be an understanding person who believe, I should be doing while I can, pending when things gets better for him.
I never knew he was getting little little, but was gambling away with it.

We really do not date for a long time before we got married. Because I knew him back then in school from a far distance. And we liked each other but didn't date. So, meeting again after graduation and in a different environment, made me believe I already knew and the fact that we already liked each other.

He was struggling with a little job when we got married. My foresight then was to grow with him. I supported him in all ways. Infact, during our wedding, most support came from friends and relatives.
Because I'm not the type of a wife that pressurized, It took me a very long time to know the nature of habit he had that has kept him low even before I married him.

He is a chronic gambler.
No money stays with him. He wouldn't even care about himself so long as he can afford little money to gamble.
Now, I don't have a job and too much burden has crippled my business.

To be honest, I'm losing myself. Sometimes I feel I need a therapy myself.
My husband has refused to change or make effort to make this marriage work.
Before I had my second child, he was pretending as if he has changed. But immediately I took in, he continues this lifestyle. I almost died due to emotional breakdown and responsibilities shouldered by myself.

I have done everything, (both family members have adviced him severally, I have prayed, fasted, cried, shouted, talked with a calm voice, all my efforts. but non is working.


Presently, since two weeks ago now, I don't cook for him. I source for food for just myself and my children. We barely have decent conversation in this house. I can't even remember the last time we had intimacy.
I always avoid him, each time he tries to get close. Because of the situation of things in this house.
We had two children and I don't intend having any other.
The cost of taking care of myself and the children all by myself is emotional hurting me so much.
School has resume and I can't even afford all the expenses of taking my first son to start a new school and I know, he would watch our son stay back at home. He wouldn't care.

We're in the house, but he's only concern is how to get little money to gambles.

Are these not enough reasons to divorce him?
During one qurrel we had recently, I told him I want us to separate for now, so we can work on ourselves, and he said he will be with our children not me.
I see that as way to make my children suffers.

What can you advise please?

I just want peace of mind.

I don't want to waste my youthful life in a loveless marriage. Where myself and my husband can not support each other to grow in Love. Rather, stressing me.

If you continue enduring this sheet you will get more depressed

Meanwhile that marriage has not been working because he vehemently refuse to contribute financially and does not support house chores

He is just complacent with himself the way things are

If you are not getting yourself again and it's affecting your mental being

Just move to your parents house let him stay there for the time being

A nursing mother can't be nursing a child with a depressed state of mind

Alternatively, ignore him and see yourself living as a single mum

But the moment he becomes violent just pack out and save your life

We really do not date for a long time before we got married. Because I knew him back then in school from a far distance. And we liked each other but didn't date. So, meeting again after graduation and in a different environment, made me believe I already knew and the fact that we already liked each other
I'm very sure, a very serious guy will be wooing you back then before you choice him over other. Madam na your cross do carry am wella

Oluwa a wa pelu e

DaddyCoool:


I bet it was clear your dad was TEMPORALLY down and would soon become the breadwinner again. Different from she's breadwinner and permanently far richer than your dad!

It remained like that permanently

Kobojonkie you again?

Kobojunkie:
Get away! Which cross? Nonsense!

Prettycute90:
Since we got married, everything about the upkeep, rents, bills, feeding, general upkeep. I mean everything is on me and he has refused to provide for us as he always claimed he doesn't have. I have always be an understanding person who believe, I should be doing while I can, pending when things gets better for him.
I never knew he was getting little little, but was gambling away with it.

We really do not date for a long time before we got married. Because I knew him back then in school from a far distance. And we liked each other but didn't date. So, meeting again after graduation and in a different environment, made me believe I already knew and the fact that we already liked each other.

He was struggling with a little job when we got married. My foresight then was to grow with him. I supported him in all ways. Infact, during our wedding, most support came from friends and relatives.
Because I'm not the type of a wife that pressurized, It took me a very long time to know the nature of habit he had that has kept him low even before I married him.

He is a chronic gambler.
No money stays with him. He wouldn't even care about himself so long as he can afford little money to gamble.
Now, I don't have a job and too much burden has crippled my business.

To be honest, I'm losing myself. Sometimes I feel I need a therapy myself.
My husband has refused to change or make effort to make this marriage work.
Before I had my second child, he was pretending as if he has changed. But immediately I took in, he continues this lifestyle. I almost died due to emotional breakdown and responsibilities shouldered by myself.

I have done everything, (both family members have adviced him severally, I have prayed, fasted, cried, shouted, talked with a calm voice, all my efforts. but non is working.


Presently, since two weeks ago now, I don't cook for him. I source for food for just myself and my children. We barely have decent conversation in this house. I can't even remember the last time we had intimacy.
I always avoid him, each time he tries to get close. Because of the situation of things in this house.
We had two children and I don't intend having any other.
The cost of taking care of myself and the children all by myself is emotional hurting me so much.
School has resume and I can't even afford all the expenses of taking my first son to start a new school and I know, he would watch our son stay back at home. He wouldn't care.

We're in the house, but he's only concern is how to get little money to gambles.

Are these not enough reasons to divorce him?
During one qurrel we had recently, I told him I want us to separate for now, so we can work on ourselves, and he said he will be with our children not me.
I see that as way to make my children suffers.

What can you advise please?

I just want peace of mind.

I don't want to waste my youthful life in a loveless marriage. Where myself and my husband can not support each other to grow in Love. Rather, stressing me.

Are you a Christian? Do you go to church? Have you engage with his family about the issue? Have you informed his pastor? Have you prayed about it? If you can't answer these questions, you shouldn't complaint about your sufferings.

Bad advice my dear.
Don't follow such and never rush into a new relationship. All that glitters cant be gold . remain faithful to your husband even if you want space to work on yourself. Not all men are responsible when it comes to providing. Ask your mother inlaw how she managed his dad. That might help you.
Please never go out there trying to date another man hoping to get a provider, you will burn your fingers and regret would be worst ok.
author=DaddyCoool post=125674785]Since he offered to be with the children, let him. While helping from a distance, sort yourself out and also find out how marketable you are in the dating scene - maybe you'll hook a better guy [/quote]

DaddyCoool:


Women RESENT being breadwinner. It almost never works out

I guess they are not wired to bear such load. Those who do without making complaints have a special kind of grace and are made of sterner stuff.

sexyyoyo:
Bad advice my dear.
Don't follow such and never rush into a new relationship. All that glitters cant be gold . remain faithful to your husband even if you want space to work on yourself. Not all men are responsible when it comes to providing. Ask your mother inlaw how she managed his dad. That might help you.
Please never go out there trying to date another man hoping to get a provider, you will burn your fingers and regret would be worst ok.

This is exactly the type of advice that keep people in poverty, trapped in unhappy situations, and never attaining anything near their potential.
A young lady just told you her marriage is irrevocably broken, that she has become broke due to same marriage, that everything has failed in trying to get her husband to change, and that they have agreed that the best thing was separation. And your best advice to her is to stay in same exact situation, don't take any risks that could better her life because she could "burn her fingers"!
BAD ADVICE, my dear.
Life is a risk any way you slice it. And the most exciting, adventurous lives are usually attained taking calculated risks. While the most boring, unfulfilled lives usually come with avoiding any risks, staying with the known and safe, no matter how unsatisfying.
Many women/men have hit the "jackpot" with second, third marriages/relationships!

So,there’s nothing wrong with a woman paying house rent,school fees,feeding,utilities and other bills while still playing her traditional roles of taking care of kids,cooking,cleaning and is also expected to perform in the bedroom to a man who is jobless,lazy,addicted to gambling and not willing to change

Wooooow!!!!
It will not work and will NEVER work!!!

Iamzik:


This lie has been told for too long and need to be corrected.

If a man cannot provide he is worse than an infidel... that's women favourite quote in the Bible.

Have you ever cared to read proverbs 31? If not please do and let's have this conversation.

I'm all for a man taking responsibility in the home and I strongly condemn any man that is so irresponsible that he refuses to make effort to take care of his family's need- such as the OP's husband

That said, there is nothing wrong with a woman providing for the home....the Bible is very balanced when it comes to managing finances in the home.

Solsix:

It remained like that permanently

That's why I always use the words "most", "vast majority", etc.
Because there are always exceptions and outliers

Hubeznigeria:

I guess they are not wired to bear such load. Those who do without making complaints have a special kind of grace and are made of sterner stuff.

They usually manage to hide the resentment, but it still seeps out here and there.
There could be one or two exceptions but usually for a reason

millionboi2:
quote her and paste this,so she can see it.

You ought first ask him what kinda job