Dear minister, dear pastor,

We appreciate what God is doing in your life and the impact God has been able to achieve through your life.

Here is my lovable letter to you, Pastor, sir. The Bible tells us to train up a child in the way it should go, and when he is old, he won't depart from it. I feel I should say this.

I know how it feels when your child is very stubborn, especially the male ones, which this letter will mainly be about. The attitude they show when they are young, when other children are sitting down gently in children's class, but they will never and will never sit down 😂. It may be very frustrating.

For me, I may not have had a pastor father or mother when I was growing up, if you ask me, but I had a devoted worker mother literally doing all that can be done in the church. Should I say Assistant pastor 😂? Fortunately, with the help of God, my twin brother and I were very stubborn back then. Trust me, very stubborn 😂😂. Haa, yee.

But this is what I've learned so far and what you should know about little children, sir/ma:

1) There is this type of feeling some children have when they see you are the boss in the church and you are the leader. They tend to behave as they like, even though I've seen pastor's children who are very, very gentle and well-behaved. But if you are fortunate to be blessed with the stubborn ones, congratulations 🫂.

2) Because you are the pastor does not mean your child should have the best behavior. They did not send you to receive God's calls, so don't pressure them at all, please don't. I know you may be saying, "Mummy Bose/David's child has three heads, why can't your own child just behave well?" Go back to lesson 1. Your own child sees you as the owner of the church, so they behave like owner's children do 🥲😂.

3) Kids are kids, and some may be blessed with a gentle spirit, and some may have the jumping-up-and-down spirit. So don't compare. Comparison is very bad at any stage of life. Stop all those "Can't you do like your sister?" or "Can't you do like the deacon's son?" Understand that there is an age for jumping around; a 13-year-old should have stopped jumping around.

4) Be watchful of your child's behavior in the church. My mum did this a lot. If it's to ask the children's teacher how your child did today, stuff like that, make sure you do it.

5) Desist from beating or scolding your child in the church. Pastor Mrs., stop it. There is a reason you have a children's coordinator. Wait until you get home before you discipline him. Also, stop all those things where the coordinator scolds your child, and you encourage the coordinator to continue. Stop it; it's none of your business. Let the coordinator do his/her work, please, just please. Some ministers think beating their child in front of other children instills discipline, even though it may create fear in other children. But do you care what it's doing to your own child? Please stop it. Make your kid feel he is not less or greater than other children. Leave the work to the coordinator, and when you get home, you can now talk to him 😂. Haaa, we received this thing oo.

6) Talk less about what happens in the church to the children. I think I overheard this when I was young 😪, but we thank God for God. Try not to do this to the kids because they will know the decency in the church before they truly know what the church and Christ are.

7) Enforce some spiritual practices, like fasting, and enforce reading a particular scripture when they are still young. Please note, sir and ma, it's not when they are doing a general fast or general studies in the church that you enforce it. I mean, when you are at home, it does not have to concern the church. Teach them this way; don't wait until it's a general thing before you tell them.

Reduce the rate of using them as examples, both good and bad, in the church. I'm not totally against using them as an example, but reduce it. Don't let it be too much. Thank God for their growth if they are growing, but standing on the pulpit and saying, "My child is doing this, my child can do this," reduce it. It's not all necessary 👏.

9) Live a life worth emulating 🙏.

10) Indoctrinate them, make them have a belief. If you are a pastor of Mfm or Deeper Life, make sure they believe what you believe. Because truly, they will want to believe something else as time goes on, but your impact won't leave if it was powerful enough. Tell them, instruct them, indoctrinate them. Let them understand that alcohol and going to too many parties are bad. When I say parties, I mean birthday and wedding parties, not the other side of parties like clubs. I'm talking about too much of the normal parties. Just indoctrinate them on what you personally believe and what has caused your growth so far 🙂.

These things are important for every reason. See, we have caused a lot of problems because you are a pastor; your children must take first place in every competition in the church. Because your child can't memorize verses of the scripture, you have narrated Samuel's story or David from beginning to the end. This is good, but that comparison you put in it is very dangerous. See, it's even dangerous to be comparing your kid to Samuel. Please, is he Samuel? The answer is, he isn't.

As long as you want them to be relevant when they are young, do you care what they will become when they grow to like 17, 18, and more?

As a young fellow myself, it messes me up and somehow pains me when I see a pastor's child in school here (uni) and they are not behaving as if they've heard of Jesus. That is not even painful, but when I somehow know their parents and how fervent they are. We are all growing, and our stage of growth is different. But what should we say when someone who, all through their life, was brought up in church, gets to school, and even if they won't attend midweek service, Sunday service becomes very difficult for them to attend 😭😭.

Even though I believe we don't divert everything to the parent because at a point in life, we decide what we become. Because who should we blame if the parent tried their best, and you decide otherwise?

Still, we have to go back home. Hope you are not forcing your child to love the Lord 😪. It's painful to hear someone who is a worker at home and gets to school is no longer going to church at all. A worker at home and otherwise in school. It's possible to be a worker at home but in school decide not to be a worker, but not going to church at all is something very bad.

Man and woman of God, please stop seeing what your child should become when you are around and start seeing what you want them to become when you won't be seeing them 😪.

Teach Jesus to them; don't force Jesus on them.

Forcing a child to become a worker in church, not even because you want them to know God more, but so you should have peace of mind that your child is in the workforce. It's dangerous to work for someone you don't know anything about 👌.

Even though they may not be like what you want now, keep teaching Jesus because that day they will be saved, not by your message or preaching, but by what another person will preach. Now, all that you have been saying will function and do well.

That is what causes Divine acceleration in some people. Even though what their parents have been teaching them doesn't make sense, when they finally receive Christ, all that you have been saying will wake up in them and cause divine spiritual growth.

Trust God for an encounter because it counts more than ten thousand words you will say.

Your's sincerely
Adetoye Ayomikun.

What should I read please