IconicR:
You can defend these things ehn, I've read your other contributions on topics like this and it cracks me up.

It's hard to accept these things, I don't even understand why some women don't get jealous seeing their men frolicking around.

Every woman gets jealous but if you calm down and study biology and nature....and also study the animal kingdom, you will realize these things are natural traits and will stop killing yourself over it...and stop focusing squarely on that aspect of your man which happens to be a general men's weakness and what I call a sexual curse on men.


It is man made laws, government policies and religious doctrines that made it look so evil and awkward whereas its a natural trait, a natural form that men are exhibiting and need special grace of God to overcome.



Humans are animals but of higher reasoning due to our ability to reason things.


I am not saying all these things to convince you to believe otherwise...but I am telling you the blunt truth.


All sexually active men have the same tendencies to mate with different women they find appealing. The only thing that can stop a man is financial poverty, spiritual commitment/grace, sickness, lack of opportunity.


No sexually active man can continuously resist the desire or urge to mate with multiple women he is attracted to just by exercising self control or by getting married to a beautiful woman, any man that tells you this is lying to you.



I am spilling the beans here.....which many sanctimonious men will come here to try to dispute, but deep down their hearts, they know what I am saying.

Levels1:



Including baby mama right?

Is baby mamaism the same as divorcee?

Too many hypocrites here

Accusing the man of telling a lie, yet you all lie everyday...every blessed day..

Single girls prostituting around, lying to their parents how they bought the big phones they use, single boys lying to girls to sleep with them all day...and will never marry them...many young and naive people talking rubbish here...once you are over 18 you can do whatever u like...if Regina can marry Ned why can he not marry her....so girls who are young can only marry rich old men....no wonder we have young hook up liars everywhere....trying to justify their fake lives...

Worst deciet in this world is self deciet.....

franchasofficia:
Every woman gets jealous but if you calm down and study biology and nature....and also study the animal kingdom, you will realize these things are natural traits and will stop killing yourself over it...and stop focusing squarely on that aspect of your man which happens to be a general men's weakness and what I call a sexual curse on men.


It is man made laws, government policies and religious doctrines that made it look so evil and awkward whereas its a natural trait, a natural form that men are exhibiting and need special grace of God to overcome.



Humans are animals but of higher reasoning due to our ability to reason things.


I am not saying all these things to convince you to believe otherwise...but I am telling you the blunt truth.


All sexually active men have the same tendencies to mate with different women they find appealing. The only thing that can stop a man is financial poverty, spiritual commitment/grace, sickness, lack of opportunity.


No sexually active man can continuously resist the desire or urge to mate with multiple women he is attracted to just by exercising self control or by getting married to a beautiful woman, any man that tells you this is lying to you.



I am spilling the beans here.....which many sanctimonious men will come here to try to dispute, but deep down their hearts, they know what I am saying.

I fear STDs and HIV more than fire and that's why I don't like men that sleeps around
Things irritate me a lot, and the thought of a man being with another woman out there he knows nothing about her health status and still coming back to me with that same body is dangerous, I sabi fear ooo.
I'm not even used to sharing common things talk more of someone I'll be having intimacy with, I can't oooo. It's scary

Nengiraw:
Thank you!! I felt the age gap was too much and he was already coming for me in a weird manner. if I missed his calls. When I call him back, he starts being mad that I missed his calls, and it was not just normal calls, it was video calls, and I told him I didn’t like video calls, yet he will be blasting my phone unannounced with it.

Tell him you also have a baby daddy your family doesn’t know about and you would like to settle down with your baby daddy and watch how he’ll leave you alone

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

Too many red flags anyway. Remember that marriage is an institution where you never graduate. It's a life time affair, so look well before you leap into it. A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

I might be interested in you if only you let me slide into your DM.

IconicR:
I fear STDs and HIV more than fire and that's why I don't like men that sleeps around
Things irritate me a lot, and the thought of a man being with another woman out there he knows nothing about her health status and still coming back to me with that same body is dangerous, I sabi fear ooo.
I'm not even used to sharing common things talk more of someone I'll be having intimacy with, I can't oooo. It's scary

Lolz, only a highly irresponsible foolish rich man sleeps with girls anyhow without knowing her infection status and proper protection. That's why when I hear davido or Wizkid or all those music artistes and showbiz celebrities impregnated one girl or another, I keep wondering how they even do it....does it mean they just plug in their stuff anywhere they see without some protection to protect their years of hardwork and success?






Only careless rich or successful guys sleep with random girls foolishly without complete protection.


Do you know most super rich men don't penetrate girls.....most just need the girls to be around them.....they can even pay more than one girl to just hang around and play with each other......that alone excites them and give them the needed relief.



Na mostly male entertainment celebrities de fvck girls anyhow without protection or fear of infection, and its because they are always high on drugs or alcohol

Acidosis:
Your experience is one of the reasons to avoid dating older men. The generational gap is weird. Imagine the nonsense he is sending to you, a 40 year old man with many garbage, still virgin hunting while acting like a clueless toddler. He wants the Regina but can't be the Ned. Shame.

Calm down, you would find someone within your age group.

You are killing that girl slowly with your advice. You should have told her to wait and meet him first and make her decision afterwards. I stead, you assumed dating older men is weird when more than 90% of women date and marry men older than them. You went ahead and gave her this assumption that since all the older men are bullshiiit, she should calm down and wait TILL she gets someone her age. You should have told her to meet him first and find out all the red flags she needs to convince herself it won't work. Then, she can move on and hopefully find another man(young or old). Another red flag could be that he is a dad already and she might not like that, just like many men don't want baby mamas.

If it's abroad she stays, you assume young men are throwing themselves at women over there and eager to marry too. You have no idea how messed up the dating scene is in the western world. Calm down with your advice and be logical next time.

franchasofficia:
Lolz, only a highly irresponsible foolish rich man sleeps with girls anyhow without knowing her infection status and proper protection. That's why when I hear davido or Wizkid or all those music artistes and showbiz celebrities impregnated one girl or another, I keep wondering how they even do it....does it mean they just plug in their stuff anywhere they see without some protection to protect their years of hardwork and success?






Only careless rich or successful guys sleep with random girls foolishly without complete protection.


Do you know most super rich men don't penetrate girls.....most just need the girls to be around them.....they can even pay more than one girl to just hang around and play with each other......that alone excites them and give them the needed relief.



Na mostly male entertainment celebrities de fvck girls anyhow without protection or fear of infection, and its because they are always high on drugs or alcohol

😂😂😂 see analysis, you are really fully on this table.

Even at that, you'll still kiss and exchange salivas, other bodily fluids ewww.
Don't trust yourself so much, some ladies can deceive you into not using protection for their selfish aim which is what these celebrities face with their numerous women.

Social media is good to seek for different opinions but not yardsticks to make decisions... overzealous can make men behaves like a child when it comes to women affairs... you need serious prayer and stay away from the relationship for now...

Jewessgratitud3:


Is baby mamaism the same as divorcee?

So you don't know?


Both have baggages.

Divorcee will certainly have child likewise baba mama.

Divorcee have wife likewise baby Mama.

They are the same and I expect you to know also

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

Please I beg you,abort mission,future not clear,I repeat abort mission, a young man, your soul mate is coming for you soon,but not this married man.

Kajaard:


The boldfaced, truer words were never spoken. Longest time brati

Been a while crocodile

The answers she seeks lie in her words, but she isn't ready to listen to her heart. Most regrets come from listening to anything but ones heart.

IconicR:
😂😂😂 see analysis, you are really fully on this table.

Even at that, you'll still kiss and exchange salivas, other bodily fluids ewww.
Don't trust yourself so much, some ladies can deceive you into not using protection for their selfish aim which is what these celebrities face with their numerous women.

lol na lies....no lady deceived them....those guys are always high on something which makes them plug and play anywhere they see.


See all your imaginations.....saliva kwa.....bodily fluids ke....odiegwu


If na like that, 99% of successful men all over the world for don die finish

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

guys a player, lier and jjst wants sex obviously. also his life is more messier than you know. back out now!

Kobojunkie:
Nna na wa oo!

Nengiraw, if you want an end to this connection with this man, find out the man's wife's number and anonymously — maybe with a friend's phone or something— send her a copy of every text conversation you had with her husband after blacking out your phone number of course. That way you help the woman realize who she is married to and maybe keep that man off your parents too.

Really.

But then we have people who know the truth, and those who want it to be what they feel it ought to be.

I don't normally comment on Front Page thread but I will comment on your thread. It seems you like the man little bit if not you would hv blocked him by naw. Pls don't do mistake of giving that man chance... you won't enjoy him. He's a liar and don't settle for such. That's my 50 cent.

franchasofficia:
lol na lies....no lady deceived them....those guys are always high on something which makes them plug and play anywhere they see.


See all your imaginations.....saliva kwa.....bodily fluids ke....odiegwu


If na like that, 99% of successful men all over the world for don die finish

You think it's only through penetration diseases are contacted, ask madam she'll explain better as a doc

Enjoy yourself but don't loseguard, you must reach everybody 😂😂😂

shortgun:

An older man will bring tolerance, understanding, and experience in dealing with a women's emotions.

Yet he cannot apply that same tolerance, understanding and experience when dealing with his wife's emotions?

A man describing his wife as ugly to a potential replacement is the one you're claiming will come with tolerance and understanding?

The age gap doesn't even concern me. The man has exhibited certain red flags that should make one think twice even if he were 26. He lies about his profession, lies about his marital status, he loses his temper when the OP misses his video calls, and uses vulgar language when talking about his wife.

That vile man is the one you're trying to convince the young lady will bring tolerance and understanding into their relationship?

You've got jokes!

IconicR:
You think it's only through penetration diseases are contacted, ask madam she'll explain better as a doc

Enjoy yourself but don't loseguard, you must reach everybody 😂😂😂

Hahahahaha you eh....big guys no de rush sex na.....they take their time, na only money miss road them and always high on something entertainment celebrities de loose guard

Acidosis:
Your experience is one of the reasons to avoid dating older men. The generational gap is weird. Imagine the nonsense he is sending to you, a 40 year old man with many garbage, still virgin hunting while acting like a clueless toddler. He wants the Regina but can't be the Ned. Shame.

Calm down, you would find someone within your age group.

don't console yourself with her post. I will tell you something I learnt, the hard way.

Women will often find older men attractive.

The only people who will revolt like you are women in their 30s and younger broke men like you.

Start hustling, bro.

shortgun:
Dear OP,
I've carefully read your post and it's unfortunate to see that all your conclusions about this man are drawn from subjective opinions and intuition.... it's all in your head

I strongly recommend you meet this man first in person before making any decisions that might lead to conflicts with your family.Dont listen to many commenter who want you to call your mother's bluff, I urge you not to dismiss the concerns and considerations of your family, particularly your mother. No mother would willingly lead her child into a life of suffering, especially a girl.

The age gap between you and this man should not be a cause for concern, there are countless happy couples with age gaps exceeding 30 years. An older man will bring tolerance, understanding, and experience in dealing with a women's emotions. Girls keep making this mistake of I am too young or he's too old until she becomes too old and he will still be eligible, the biological clock of a man and a woman is not the same.
At early 20 you are at your prime as a woman and the man is at his prime at 40.

It would be wise for you to give the man time to address any lingering issues with his first wife or baby mama. It's not uncommon for men to make bad choices driven by naivety and inexperience in their early relationships.
Furthermore, it's important you understand that time may not be as abundant as you believe or made to believe. You're not as young as you might think. Soon, you'll be approaching 30, and that age brings a different set of troubles and pressure, It's not unusual for girls as young as 17 to be managing households.
The path you want to tow or pushed to tow has played out countless times and the girls usually didn't come through as winners.
..........shortgun

I think you've been able to see a bit of what I saw.

My submission is, if the man is as bad as she paints it, she should let him go.

But that op might have her own deep rooted issues that only the parents will see.

You said d man saw your picture n he was MESMERISED. If you are such a big catch, why is it that it's a man of 40 that's chasing you? She is most likely hyping herself way more than her actual value. Not a lot of difference between 25-30.

Your family isn't interested in your happiness.

Someone is still married - and even if gets a divorce - he only wants you as a housemaid who will help to babysit his child.

Which one be first wife? Are you already seeing yourself marrying him and being his second wife?

You are in your twenties, why do you feel pressured to be married to the point of people having to introduce husband to you.

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

They'll chop you and clean mouth. You are still young and don't need the Drama of 2nd wife wahala. Stay away from him for your own sanity.

Well,i will tell you the bitter truth here..Age is nothing but a number.The main issue is the Red flag,.He has already lied to your family about his marital status and his real profession.Also the way he t alks about his wife is also a red flag.Honestly,don't give him a chance at all because your family will not be there living with you when all these wahala comes to hunt you.Just walk away..that guy should be avoided like a leper...ok..Good luck

Enter wholeheartedly since you want drama in your life.

IF you don't mind kindly share your email let connect. I'm ready too

luminouz:


You are killing that girl slowly with your advice. You should have told her to wait and meet him first and make her decision afterwards. I stead, you assumed dating older men is weird when more than 90% of women date and marry men older than them. You went ahead and gave her this assumption that since all the older men are bullshiiit, she should calm down and wait TILL she gets someone her age. You should have told her to meet him first and find out all the red flags she needs to convince herself it won't work. Then, she can move on and hopefully find another man(young or old). Another red flag could be that he is a dad already and she might not like that, just like many men don't want baby mamas.

If it's abroad she stays, you assume young men are throwing themselves at women over there and eager to marry too. You have no idea how messed up the dating scene is in the western world. Calm down with your advice and be logical next time.

A 40 year old nurse lying and claiming another man's profession is a scammer. There is nothing to meet.

If at the age of 40, you cannot tell people what you do for a living, then something is seriously wrong somewhere.

How abusive she is and they are still laying each other making kids?...Don't fall for such trap pls

Fearlez:
don't console yourself with her post. I will tell you something I learnt, the hard way.

Women will often find older men attractive.

The only people who will revolt like you are women in their 30s and younger broke men like you.

Start hustling, bro.

How do you broke shame people you don't know online? Go and make money yhen yhen.. If I post my weekly earning here, are you sure your annual salary can match??

saysoo:
you for add 15yrs to her age so she would not be dissapointed if the new man does not come before her fortiet birthday.

Of course. It is better to remain single at 40 than marry a scammer with mid-life crisis at the age of 25. What advice do you give your sisters?