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. by Amna1(op): 4:38pm On Oct 07, 2023*

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Re: . by thesicilian: 4:43pm On Oct 07, 2023

You don't need any special process to forgive someone. Have a sit down with her and air out your feelings, then forgive and move on

2 Likes

Re: . by Mhizzard(m): 5:10pm On Oct 07, 2023

Whatever she had done to you,you need to clear it off from your mind/head cus no matter what it was your mother would always be your mother.God knows best,that was your fate.

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Re: . by izonborn098(m): 5:22pm On Oct 07, 2023

Just forgive her and give her space..
No need making any diehard enemy, forgive and keep your distance so that you wouldn't get hurt the second time..

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Re: . by frozen70(f): 7:26am On Oct 08, 2023

Your mum need your forgiveness

Find it in your heart to forgive her

Thanks be to God that you survive all her maltreatments to you because I don't know why she did all that to you

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Re: . by talented321: 8:49am On Oct 08, 2023

Let go but becareful with her

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Re: . by Arda1000(m): 8:55am On Oct 08, 2023

Continue to live your life delete her number and forget about her

Re: . by enm(m): 9:22am On Oct 08, 2023

There is this verse in The Lord's Prayer that i always strive to live my life by and it goes like this " Father forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespasses against us " i know it hard to do but it's also simple. Here is my first advice to you , the second one..

Due to curiosity and a chance at full closure on the matter, go visit your mother wherever she is with an elderly person from your mother or father family or someone you know she trust and listen to and raise this issue with her, asking her for forgiveness if you have in any way hurt her but take care not be aggressive or forceful while at it..

Now my advice above should be taken under advisement. I pray God bless you and lead you to the right step to take in Jesus name.

1 Like

Re: . by Sucre6: 9:55am On Oct 08, 2023

Before anyone here dish out advice like a plate of hot party jolloff with spiced chicken should always put themselves in the shoes of the op. Else you won't be rational.

She's a woman alright but definitely not a mother anyone advising you that your mother is your mother like no other is mad,

I have seen irresponsible elderly people, because they are aged don't make them wise most times, owing to the face that she tortured you this bad, no kid deserves that amount of wickedness, nah only God know why she does what she did, but I will advice you to forgive her but stay very far away from her.

Re: . by LandMann: 10:43am On Oct 08, 2023

Any body that treats their child like that deserve to be ghosted.

It could be that she saw you as very stubborn when you were young, hence the constant beatings. But as a parent, she ought to know that beatings do not work all the time. Your dad would have mended your ways if you were going astray, but he was no more, and the only way she knew was to beat the devil out of you.

Well you just have to move on to better things now, and make sure you don't make same mistake with your children and also teach your wife how to train the kids so that she don't end up traumatising them if you're gone suddenly.

As for your mum, let her be. She's not changed and she'll never change. If she calls you, fine. Be polite. But don't go licking her ass like some fool or trying to force yourself to forgive her or her to forgive you and forget the past which is impossible.

Just be polite to her if your paths cross in future. Take what happened to you as a lesson on how to be a better father and how to raise your own family. That is why you must do everything to secure your children's future.

Wish you all the best

2 Likes

Re: . by EMILO2STAY(m): 1:21pm On Oct 08, 2023

you have to learn to stay away from her, she has not changed. any body telling you to forgve her because she is your mother have no clue of the kind of situation your talking about.

some one who wronged you does not deserve forgiveness if they do not repent, apologize for their wrong doing and ask you for forgiveness. if they do non of these then dont forgive only concentrate on moving on with your life because it seems after all these years she has no changed and does not feel regret.

a mother is not called a mother because she carried you for nine months and gave birth to you, a mother is a woman who care and nutures and cares for their child in loving kindness as the child develops into an adult.

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Re: . by LarryCork: 1:34pm On Oct 08, 2023

Re: . by LarryCork: 1:34pm On Oct 08, 2023

.... is she lightskin? angry

Re: . by Fahvvy: 2:08pm On Oct 08, 2023

You spoke my mind! undecided

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It's super annoying seeing some of the comments above undecided

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Some of them are making excuses for the woman, others are saying crap like "your mother is your mother and bladderdash" angry

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OP if I were in your shoes, I would gather up evidence and have her arrested for child abuse (if possible) undecided

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No matter how stubborn, a child of 9years old is, starving them and beating the day light out of them is CHILD ABUSE! undecided

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And to think that this is someone who claims to have "carried you in the womb for 9months"🙄

Well...
I dunno about other people, but seeing those who made life tough for me going through tough times of their own gives me premium satisfaction undecided

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I move on a lot faster knowing that those who served me, got served too undecided

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But if you're not like me, then I advice you have a conversation with her, tell her how you feel and see how things go afterwards undecided

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I believe you'll find the closure that you seek when you do so undecided

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1 Like 1 Share

Re: . by chinonyinye: 4:18pm On Oct 08, 2023

Are you sure she's your real mother or you are the result of your father's affair and you were foisted on her?
Is it only you she treats this way or all your siblings?

Re: . by Nobody: 4:06am On Oct 09, 2023

Nigerians will start with their emotional blackmail of forgive and forget
.. Op run away from your mother I don't understand why you are trying to force yourself on someone who has made it sure she will make your life a living hell
Are you looking for validation to continue suffering
@ kobojunkie please advise this young man I don't think he knows what an healthy relationship looks like

Re: . by Kobojunkie: 4:25am On Oct 09, 2023

Start by forgiving yourself for all you may think you could have done to deserve the treatment you got from your mother all that while. Forgive yourself primarily because you were a kid and kids are notorious for getting it wrong most of the time. Every time one of those feelings of guilt or shame invades your mind, accept fault completely and forgive yourself for not being perfect at even that time. Do this every time you recall what you may have done wrong.

In addition, forgive yourself for not having the best of mothers. As it is, you probably think of her as an arsehole, and yes, there are arseholes out there for real. That she happens to be one of them is not your fault and it was never your place to change her nor bring the angel in her out. So, accept her as she is and forgive her for all the wrong she did to you. Now, when I say, forgive, I don't mean you should run back to her and embrace her and all that. Just, in your mind, forgive her, so her ghost can move on from the space it continues to occupy in your head rent-free.

I think a major key to overcoming all those thoughts is to acknowledge, accept, or own your part in it all, and forgive yourself in order to move forward one step at a time. undecided

Re: . by Nobody: 4:46am On Oct 09, 2023

Na wa o, your biological mother for that matter. It is really painful and sad to read. Your mother na witch or even worse than a witch, she deserves to be stoned. Some women do not deserve to be mother.
Confront her and tell her what is on your mind. If she is nonchalant or show no remorse ; then move on. It is upto you to forgive or not. I hope all goes well

Re: . by Amna1(op): 5:45am On Oct 09, 2023

Farano
Rocktation
Dominique
Ftp please

Re: . by Purvan(m): 1:35pm On Oct 09, 2023

Move on

Get a man and settle down

Forget about your mom

Re: . by Kobojunkie: 1:41pm On Oct 09, 2023

So, in 2023, with all we know of mental illness and the burden it is, you would suggest someone clearly struggling mentally as a mate for your son or daughter? undecided

Re: . by Purvan(m): 1:55pm On Oct 09, 2023

Love conquers all things even if you're mentally deranged

I believe there's someone out there who can love her as she's and take good care of her .

Re: . by Amna1(op): 8:25pm On Oct 13, 2023*

Re: . by Amna1(op): 7:54am On Oct 14, 2023*

Thanks for your input
Ok

Re: . by Marynwachukwu21(f): 4:42pm On Oct 14, 2023

Forgive her and clear your head because one day she will realize her mistakes and come back to you for forgiveness.Take heart forget the past and face the future...

Re: . by Foodqueen(f): 5:32pm On Oct 14, 2023

What u need is closure.

Go and ask her why she did what she did to you.

1 Like

Re: . by DonroxyII: 5:40pm On Oct 14, 2023

Search Online for Psychotherapeutic Measusres to heal your mental wounds ...

Pray to God to Intercede on whatever happened between the two of you to be settled amicably ....

Go back home & She will do normal once she sees you smiling !

Re: . by Amna1(op): 6:17pm On Oct 14, 2023*

9OK thank you

Re: . by Amna1(op): 6:35pm On Oct 14, 2023*

Ok thanks

Re: . by Negroic9(m): 12:01pm On Oct 15, 2023

Are you sure of your narration,
There must be a reason before she treats you that way. Find out the reason first

1 Reply

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