I'm always in room all day busy with programming, I have no friends, I'm just a skinny dude, currently 22yr in my finals ( computer engineering)
I spent most of my life as a shut in, but now I don't really want to anymore, virgin and never had a girlfriend, socially and emotionally stunted
what do I do, I don't like to interact with people and I lack motivation to move around.

Hideaki:
I'm always in room all day busy with programming, I have no friends, I'm just a skinny dude, currently 22yr in my finals ( computer engineering)
I spent most of my life as a shut in, but now I don't really want to anymore, virgin and never had a girlfriend, socially and emotionally stunted
what do I do, I don't like to interact with people and I lack motivation to move around.

you have to step out more... you still have a long life ahead of you... step out, feel the air, breathe, socialise, laugh, free your mind... with time, your anxiety will reduce and you would feel great once again... programming shouldn't make you socially blunt... it would be hard at first, but trust me, once you get used to it, there will be no turning back...

also you can exercise in your free time, meditation too can help you.. you'll feel great..

Reminderz:

you have to step out more... you still have a long life ahead of you... step out, feel the air, breathe, socialise, laugh, free your mind... with time, your anxiety will reduce and you would feel great once again... programming shouldn't make you socially blunt... it would be hard at first, but trust me, once you get used to it, there will be no turning back...

also you can exercise in your free time, meditation too can help you.. you'll feel great..

There's nothing outside except billing

I'm like a vampire, outside hurts me

Most people's lives suck, not just you.

Just like no matter how hot water is, it will revert back to its default temperature, which is lukewarm. Human life is like that. Those that you think their life does not suck are just in a state of a boil, so the distraction kind of entertains them away to not reflecting on the fact that life sucks and they need help.

You havent engaged in that exercise, so you think there is some reward there. If you start having friends, going out, and engaging in more activities, you will see the challenges there, and you will have scars, that your solitude will later become your preferred state of being.

So you will be betrayed, maybe be introduced to money-draining addiction (eg gambling), heartbroken, nonreciprocal efforts, envy, users, waste money chasing the wind, maybe try to impress people that on a good day, want to stab you, etc.

Introverts are usually people who understand all these and just prefer not to engage much with the world because it's just more problem than it's worth. So-called extroverts are those who when they even need help, all their friends will give them the middle finger. So how are they better?

So, my guy, you are in a state of unspoiled. The only disadvantage here is that it may be boring, just like wealthy neighborhoods are dry and boring, but it's just a good way to live, otherwise, is to become rugged to your own detriment, and still return to the same place you started from.

Then boredom becomes peace, a place you will arrive at after you have been through the boil.

This is an unofficial welcome to the "Suckers club", with an unlimited charter. But guess what, you're the only one who can exit this club by being real and true to yourself.
Start by looking at the many blessings you've already been bestowed with, which you probably don't see. You have gifts despite your situation.
Realise that you must start from where you are and the journey self improvement is a daily battle.
To be a man, there are multiple challenges you'd face and success with the opposite gender is only one of those.
Like some posters said, go out, meet people, read books, and keep hustling.
Lastly, the grass always seems greener on the other side.
So stay strong!

Day169:
This is an unofficial welcome to the "Suckers club", with an unlimited charter. But guess what, you're the only one who can exit this club by being real and true to yourself.
Start by looking at the many blessings you've already been bestowed with, which you probably don't see. You have gifts despite your situation.
Realise that you must start from where you are and the journey self improvement is a daily battle.
To be a man, there are multiple challenges you'd face and success with the opposite gender is only one of those.
Like some posters said, go out, meet people, read books, and keep hustling.
Lastly, the grass always seems greener on the other side.
So stay strong!

Meet people where

Go out to where


I read , my read book is bigger than the books in my state library

pansophist:
Most people's lives suck, not just you.

Just like no matter how hot water is, it will revert back to its default temperature, which is lukewarm. Human life is like that. Those that you think their life does not suck are just in a state of a boil, so the distraction kind of entertains them away to not reflecting on the fact that life sucks and they need help.

You havent engaged in that exercise, so you think there is some reward there. If you start having friends, going out, and engaging in more activities, you will see the challenges there, and you will have scars, that your solitude will later become your preferred state of being.

So you will be betrayed, maybe be introduced to money-draining addiction (eg gambling), heartbroken, nonreciprocal efforts, envy, users, waste money chasing the wind, maybe try to impress people that on a good day, want to stab you, etc.

Introverts are usually people who understand all these and just prefer not to engage much with the world because it's just more problem than it's worth. So-called extroverts are those who when they even need help, all their friends will give them the middle finger. So how are they better?

So, my guy, you are in a state of unspoiled. The only disadvantage here is that it may be boring, just like wealthy neighborhoods are dry and boring, but it's just a good way to live, otherwise, is to become rugged to your own detriment, and still return to the same place you started from.

Then boredom becomes peace, a place you will arrive at after you have been through the boil.

Solitude is hell

I have been alone and lonely for a long time now my mom tags me a weirdo because I don't leave the house , I don't have friends and no gf even at my gf. I grew up in boarding school and was tagged PK ( possessed kid ) because of I always was alone by myself

I just hope to get some kind of meaningful work so I can move away from my mom to my own place


I've been getting fulfilment from my hobbies lately but it's not enough , Man needs friends both male and female.

pansophist:
Most people's lives suck, not just you.

Just like no matter how hot water is, it will revert back to its default temperature, which is lukewarm. Human life is like that. Those that you think their life does not suck are just in a state of a boil, so the distraction kind of entertains them away to not reflecting on the fact that life sucks and they need help.

You havent engaged in that exercise, so you think there is some reward there. If you start having friends, going out, and engaging in more activities, you will see the challenges there, and you will have scars, that your solitude will later become your preferred state of being.

So you will be betrayed, maybe be introduced to money-draining addiction (eg gambling), heartbroken, nonreciprocal efforts, envy, users, waste money chasing the wind, maybe try to impress people that on a good day, want to stab you, etc.

Introverts are usually people who understand all these and just prefer not to engage much with the world because it's just more problem than it's worth. So-called extroverts are those who when they even need help, all their friends will give them the middle finger. So how are they better?

So, my guy, you are in a state of unspoiled. The only disadvantage here is that it may be boring, just like wealthy neighborhoods are dry and boring, but it's just a good way to live, otherwise, is to become rugged to your own detriment, and still return to the same place you started from.

Then boredom becomes peace, a place you will arrive at after you have been through the boil.

Pansophist I greet you, I tried sending you a mail but e no go. Please I would like to have a chat with you, I would have posted it here but na family matters and i would love to get your view on it. If you don't mind, can I quote you on a dead thread to get your contact or send mine. Thank you.

Hideaki:
I'm always in room all day busy with programming, I have no friends, I'm just a skinny dude, currently 22yr in my finals ( computer engineering). I spent most of my life as a shut in, but now I don't really want to anymore, virgin and never had a girlfriend, socially and emotionally stunted
what do I do, I don't like to interact with people and I lack motivation to move around.

Start by Opening the door and going outside. Start from there. If you find that hard to handle, then seek the help of a professional mental health therapist. Simple!

Hideaki:
I'm always in room all day busy with programming, I have no friends, I'm just a skinny dude, currently 22yr in my finals ( computer engineering)
I spent most of my life as a shut in, but now I don't really want to anymore, virgin and never had a girlfriend, socially and emotionally stunted
what do I do, I don't like to interact with people and I lack motivation to move around.

You really do not know what your life pattern have been saving you from.

There are lots of troubles out there.

Kobojunkie:
Start by Opening the door and going outside. Start from there. If you find that hard to handle, then seek the help of a professional mental health therapist. Simple!

Go out to where ??


Mental health therapy for what


Did I tell you I've mental illness??

pansophist:
Most people's lives suck, not just you.

Just like no matter how hot water is, it will revert back to its default temperature, which is lukewarm. Human life is like that. Those that you think their life does not suck are just in a state of a boil, so the distraction kind of entertains them away to not reflecting on the fact that life sucks and they need help.

You havent engaged in that exercise, so you think there is some reward there. If you start having friends, going out, and engaging in more activities, you will see the challenges there, and you will have scars, that your solitude will later become your preferred state of being.

So you will be betrayed, maybe be introduced to money-draining addiction (eg gambling), heartbroken, nonreciprocal efforts, envy, users, waste money chasing the wind, maybe try to impress people that on a good day, want to stab you, etc.

Introverts are usually people who understand all these and just prefer not to engage much with the world because it's just more problem than it's worth. So-called extroverts are those who when they even need help, all their friends will give them the middle finger. So how are they better?

So, my guy, you are in a state of unspoiled. The only disadvantage here is that it may be boring, just like wealthy neighborhoods are dry and boring, but it's just a good way to live, otherwise, is to become rugged to your own detriment, and still return to the same place you started from.

Then boredom becomes peace, a place you will arrive at after you have been through the boil.

Clap !
Clap !!
Clap !!!

Bravo. Agba Nairalander. Nice write up

lashout1:

You really do not know what your life pattern have been saving you from.

Exactly!

Hideaki:
■ Go out to where ??
■ Mental health therapy for what Did I tell you I've mental illness??

1. Market, walk around or sit at a park? Even visit a library? Or a governor office just for the sake of it. Do some people browsing, etc.

2. You described yourself as an emotionally and socially stunted shut-in, what do you think?

You this boy, you are troublesome going by these questions you are asking people suggesting solutions... And you say you are an introvert as troublesome as you have shown yourself... Lols, interesting kid.
Anyway, start from having friends male & female that you check up on, know about their day, what's going on in their lives, throw shades on them etc...
Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, my own is know your God in the days of your youth!!

Hideaki:



Go out to where ??


Mental health therapy for what


Did I tell you I've mental illness??

Kobojunkie:
1. Market, walk around or sit at a park? Even visit a library? Or a governor office just for the sake of it. Do some people browsing, etc.

2. You described yourself as an emotionally and socially stunted shut-in, what do you think?

I live in a rural area, there are no libraries and no governor's office


Walking anywhere here is stressful because it's miles and miles even to buy bread , it's better to use a vehicle here than walk



2. emotionally and socially stunted shut-in as in no friends and gf not mentally ill

Hideaki:
1. I live in a rural area, there are no libraries and no governor's office
Walking anywhere here is stressful because it's miles and miles even to buy bread , it's better to use a vehicle here than walk
2. emotionally and socially stunted shut-in as in no friends and gf not mentally ill

1. Then drive to q Park or library or government office once, park and walk around.

2. You are still describing mental illness and nothing a regular adult would have to say. Any one who has some level of emotional and social intelligence would have no problems making friends, even if long distance. You using your environment as excuse means there is more to this that you are probably not admitting to.

Kobojunkie:
1. Then drive to q Park or library or government office once, park and walk around.

2. You are still describing mentally illness and nothing a regular adult would say. Any one who has some level of emotional and social intelligence would have no problems making friends, even if long distance. You using your environment as excuse means there is more to this that you are probably not admitting to.

I can't drive

I had childhood friends , they are all dead now

If you had a son with the same issues as I'm , you'd tell him to get a mental rehabilitation??

Hideaki:
■ I can't drive
I had childhood friends , they are all dead now
If you had a son with the same issues as I'm , you'd tell him to get a mental rehabilitation??

You can't drive or take Okada or Keke?

2. All the people you went to school with are equally all dead or what?

3. Mental rehabilitation is for those obviously not doing well coping or functioning, and your responses continue to point to that being the case here.

Kobojunkie:
You can't drive or take Okada or Keke?

2. All the people you went to school with are equally all dead or what?

3. Mental rehabilitation is for those obviously not doing well coping or function and your responses continue to point to that being the case here.

Okada is expensive here . The only reasonable place one can go to is a church and restaurant

I was a loner in school, not much people around me

3. Mental rehabilitation is expensive , it's for only rich folks and I can't afford it


I just want a girl that'll cuddle me that's all

Hideaki:
■ Okada is expensive here . The only reasonable place one can go to is a church and restaurant
■ I was a loner in school, not much people around me
3. Mental rehabilitation is expensive , it's for only rich folks and I can't afford it
■ I just want a girl that'll cuddle me that's all

So you do in fact have places around that you can go then to hang out of people watch. You just do not want to.

2. If you are indeed a loner, then why are you complaining that you don't have friends?

3. Mental therapy is only for the rich yet the vast majority who frequent mental health clinics even in Nigeria are not even rich?

4. You refuse to make any effort to make friends yet you feel a gal should come and cuddle you? Why not buy yourself a plastic doll or something and you can have that all while remaining as you are.

Kobojunkie:
So you do in fact have places around that you can go then to hang out of people watch. You just do not want to.

2. If you are indeed a loner, then why are you complaining that you don't have friends?

3. Mental therapy is only for the rich yet the vast majority who frequent mental health clinics even in Nigeria are not even rich?

4. You refuse to make any effort to make friends yet you feel a gal should come and cuddle you? Why not buy yourself a plastic doll or something and you can have that all while remaining as you are.

Being outside is not my thing unless it's something interesting or I enjoy doing like writing or chess

2. A loner will need someone or at least something

3. Those are not mental health clinics , those ones are clinics for mad people

4. I've made efforts to get friends but I'm quite selective in having friends, not everyone I like being friends with

Plastic doll cost , perhaps you should get me one

Hideaki:
■ Being outside is not my thing unless it's something interesting or I enjoy doing like writing or chess A loner will need someone or at least something
■ Those are not mental health clinics , those ones are clinics for mad people
■ I've made efforts to get friends but I'm quite selective in having friends, not everyone I like being friends with
Plastic doll cost , perhaps you should get me one

1. What you said of lover's isn't entirely true. True loners are not socially and emotionally inept at all. They simply prefer being alone and to themselves that being around others. What you continue to describe ring instead of behavioral problems.

2. You seem to have excuses for why you shouldn't be expected to make real efforts to connect with people and maybe even find the right ones while you are at it.

You said you work. Given your attitude so far towards stepping out of yourself to make necessary changes for your own life, the best advice I can think of is suggesting you save up to get yourself a plastic doll. Maybe until you become mature enough for adult relationships and are sick and tired of staying in yourself.

Kobojunkie:
1. What you said of lover's isn't entirely true. True loners are not socially and emotionally inept at all. They simply prefer being alone and to themselves that being around others. What you continue to describe ring instead of behavioral problems.

2. You seem to have excuses for why you shouldn't be expected to make real efforts to connect with people and maybe even find the right ones while you are at it.

You said you work. Given your attitude so far towards stepping out of yourself to make necessary changes for your own life, the best advice I can think of is suggesting you save up to get yourself a plastic doll. Maybe until you become mature enough for adult relationships and are sick and tired of staying in yourself.

I prefer solitude sometimes. Instead of psychoanalyse me and telling me to seek mental rehabilitation

What would you have done if your son was experiencing this problem as I have??

Would you have sent him to a mental clinic or find a way to connect him with people??

Hideaki:
■ I prefer solitude sometimes. Instead of psychoanalyse me and telling me to seek mental rehabilitation

What would you have done if your son was experiencing this problem as I have?? Would you have sent him to a mental clinic or find a way to connect him with people??

Ofcourse I would send him out to get mental health treatment so he can develop the necessary social and emotional skills to aid in better relating in life. Why would I wish instead to force him on others when I know that clearly he is lacking? That would be like throwing him out to the wolves without making certain he is mentally equipped to handle them.

Kobojunkie:
Ofcourse I would send him out to get mental health treatment so he can develop the necessary social and emotional skills to aid in better relating in life. Why would I wish instead to force him on others when I know that clearly he is lacking? That would be like throwing him out to the wolves without making certain he is mentally equipped to handle them.

You'd make a bad mother.

Mental rehabilitation won't solve emotional and social ineptness

Hideaki:
■ You'd make a bad mother. Mental rehabilitation won't solve emotional and social ineptness

Spoken like the typical preprogrammed Nigerian you are after all is said and done. You judge and cast down ideas even before experiencing or learning them.

Kobojunkie:
Spoken like the typical preprogrammed Nigerian you are after all is said and done. You judge and cast down ideas even before experiencing or learning them.

What's there to experience in a mental institution other than daily dosage of drugs??


It's not like they'll hook you up with someone

Kingju:


Pansophist I greet you, I tried sending you a mail but e no go. Please I would like to have a chat with you, I would have posted it here but na family matters and i would love to get your view on it. If you don't mind, can I quote you on a dead thread to get your contact or send mine. Thank you.

ok, go ahead.

Hideaki:
■ What's there to experience in a mental institution other than daily dosage of drugs??
■ It's not like they'll hook you up with someone

Why not go find out for yourself by making an appointment today with a mental health therapist?

I would not recommend anyone's child for someone in your situation.

pansophist:
Most people's lives suck, not just you.

Just like no matter how hot water is, it will revert back to its default temperature, which is lukewarm. Human life is like that. Those that you think their life does not suck are just in a state of a boil, so the distraction kind of entertains them away to not reflecting on the fact that life sucks and they need help.

You havent engaged in that exercise, so you think there is some reward there. If you start having friends, going out, and engaging in more activities, you will see the challenges there, and you will have scars, that your solitude will later become your preferred state of being.

So you will be betrayed, maybe be introduced to money-draining addiction (eg gambling), heartbroken, nonreciprocal efforts, envy, users, waste money chasing the wind, maybe try to impress people that on a good day, want to stab you, etc.

Introverts are usually people who understand all these and just prefer not to engage much with the world because it's just more problem than it's worth. So-called extroverts are those who when they even need help, all their friends will give them the middle finger. So how are they better?

So, my guy, you are in a state of unspoiled. The only disadvantage here is that it may be boring, just like wealthy neighborhoods are dry and boring, but it's just a good way to live, otherwise, is to become rugged to your own detriment, and still return to the same place you started from.

Then boredom becomes peace, a place you will arrive at after you have been through the boil.

Spoken with wisdom. I’m trying to embrace the boredom.

lashout1:

You really do not know what your life pattern have been saving you from.

There are lots of troubles out there.

There really isn’t much outside for him to enjoy. The billing is massive, betrayals massive. Although I understand his need for a woman.