Dear happily married people that came from a broken home, please speak up.

Someone said it's not hereditary and I agree. But just saying that is no much help.

Marriage is very scary to me right now. Actually, for many years.

And it's something my partner is very interested in. I want it too, but the fear is all I can feel.

You see, what you have to understand in marriage is that no matter your background in marriage it takes lots of patience, courage and lots of love and forgiveness to sustain it.

Your parents may have lacked this but its up to you to learn the lessons and create a better family for yourself and loved ones.

One family woman always hurrying me to get married. I finally summoned coirage to ask her last month. Madam going by your constant fights with your husband do u think I'll be enticed to get married?

Just decide you will do better than them. shikena

Ok

Your parents have lived their lives, do not let their marriage or live define yours.. You'll have to know what you want in your marriage and build on it

Just decide to be better than them

D

Don’t go and be telling them every detail of your household. Preserve some and preserve your dignity.
Not when your husband is short of money and you support him with the house rent, then you go at his back and lament to your parents.

Even your close siblings, stop telling them belittling stuff about husband, because they will turn around and tell your parents.

Don’t compare your father to your husband, that is an insult.

Find creative ways to diffuse tension. Don’t try to win any argument. Somethings are not worth repeating. Say it once and leave it there.

Call your husband sweet names, let him feel that he is incharge. Pray for him and his source of income. Let him hear you pray. This will make know that you wish him well.

Let him know that everything will be fine, even in very difficult situations . Celebrate even the little things he do.. He will do more.

Always forgive and advise him .

By not marrying a toxic partner.

Key to successful marriage.

Understanding and communication!

On the contrary, I'm scared I may never reach their standard.

.

That's the same reason why some of us are scared of marriage till today.

It shaped who we are today not those useless GeN z from single evening newspapers.

Atleast we vowed never to be that and strived to work harder and be better people..

Spits

OloYeOfEgbE:
It shaped who we are today not those useless GeN z from single evening newspapers.

Spits

Yes, we know you hate us.

Once thing I know for sure is that, as a child, your parent's marriage will shape your view about marriage, positively or otherwise. The onus is on you to take from the good parts and work around the bad parts. You also have to be very careful of patterns. I mean, family patterns and repetitions. Marriage is not a child's play. One has to emotionally matured.


That being said, when you are ready to get married, I'm the wedding photographer you should call on! Check my signature.

Zooposki:


Yes, we know you hate us.

Abeg rest in jesus name...Call one baby mama name for bible,Not widowed ooo...

OloYeOfEgbE:


Abeg rest in jesus name...Call one baby mama name for bible,Not widowed ooo...

Mary, the mother of Hesus.

nairalee:
One family woman always hurrying me to get married. I finally asked her ladt month. Madam going by your constant fights with your husband do u think I'll be enticed to get married?

Fake nonsense...

Chooking mouth in someone's marriage..Aproko

You obviously wanna sleep with her

Zooposki:


Mary, the mother of Hesus.

Shebi Joseph was brother in law.

Gerrat

OloYeOfEgbE:


Shebi Joseph was brother in law.

Gerrat

She was not yet married when she got pregnant with Hesus. Who give am belle?

There must be a serious deliberate act with passion to be different.These things are spiritual than we can fathom.it will be follhardey to think the patterns just occurred,,,they are spiritually occastrated this necessitating ones total commitment to get things working in his or her own time. Finally, been close to God is a must else ,all those initial gra hra and boasting to be different won't see d light of the day.To drwa A NEW DIVINE PATTERN IN YOUR HOME ,U MUST BE INTENTIONAL WITH GOD ABOUT IT.I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE PLS.

Notplayn:
Dear happily married people that came from a broken home, please speak up.

Someone said it's not hereditary and I agree. But just saying that is no much help.

Marriage is very scary to me right now. Actually, for many years.

And it's something my partner is very interested in. I want it too, but the fear is all I can feel.

On the other hand, if your parents are still together, even if it was "toxic" in your opinion, it means it wasn't a failure. And there are a lot of things to learn from it. In Nigeria, some of the toxicity is intentional from the Parents trying to buy into the sentiments or be the favorite of their children. You'd be surprised how lovey-dovey and beautiful some of the Parent's relationships are when the children are not around.

Seeing it as a failure would probably make you unlearn the tenants that made the so-called "toxic" relationships last long. One of them is men not wanting to be like their "toxic" Dad and they end up hopeless Simps in prevention, or women not wanting to be like their "suffering" Mum and end up becoming narcissistic, unrespectful, and damning. And funny enough, the children's marriage would now end up not lasting a quarter of the years their parents did.

So OP, don't be scared of failure. Failure is important. But fail fast. Fail early. Fail differently.

If you are willing to enter the marriage institution, have logical conversations with your Parents on it. Be truthful to the last about who your Partner is. And please listen to their advice. They are not in love, so they'd give you more rational advice. Btw, the marriages of our Parents and Ancestors still remain some of the best examples of marriages. If you think you are wiser, see the nonsense happening in developed countries, the rate of divorces, soon propagating faster than ever in Nigeria too.

Notplayn:
Dear happily married people that came from a broken home, please speak up.

Someone said it's not hereditary and I agree. But just saying that is no much help.

Marriage is very scary to me right now. Actually, for many years.

And it's something my partner is very interested in. I want it too, but the fear is all I can feel.

Your feelings is the secret behind any reality u see around u. Change ur feelings, and ur reality will change. There are good things in marriage. Look for a good one and understudy to feel good

Hmmmmm.....I wish and hope my marriage could be sweet and long like my parents'.

They were married for 56 years before Dad went.

Those whose parents had toxic marriages better aspire to so better in theirs.

Very deep.

I m sorry but I was not able to prevent my father’s toxic marriage from Affecting mine