@ d last post

i dont think so, there are loads fishs in the sea
u just have to keep switch techniques.

elpapi:

I've been in a relationship for close to five years now, everything is perfect, no hiccups. Then I met someone, that feeling you get when you've met your other half, d person that was created for you, and the thing is that she feels the same thing. The new lady she's a good person, she accepts and rings it into my head that we can't have anything because I'm committed already, but like me she also can't let go

Eiiya! A friend of mine was in your exact situation. He somehow managed to get her abroad. And THAT was THAT. Because he knew if he didn't handle the situation, let's just say his marriage of 10+ would have gone down the drain, and he wouldn't have given a damn

@poster, yes, i feel you so strongly, but to a point. Yes, there is a first time you will definitely FALL IN LOVE 110% (as some one said, foolish), and then you're unlucky enough to get broken. you did be more wiser/cautious, till you meet someone that you can Love like 95% (add the rem 5% wherever you like, before/after marriage). But usually between these two (which normally take years for some), LUST is a much more less emotionally-intensive instantly gratifying option.

Oh, the scars of first love. One might move on, but the scar's for life!

true talk i havent really met anyone dat measured up to my ex for a long while now and any chick i go out with right nw just tends to wear me out after a short while.

Some of dem outrightly bore me, anyway dats dat

I'm yet to fall in love even once!

A guy loves more than once but from my own experience, he can only love one person the deepest.
Even when he meets other people who are finer or more interesting, they cannot compare to the one he loves deepest, all they will do is remind him daily about his true love and how much he misses her.

Guys dont fall in love once,they are less emotional beings unlike the feminine side who tend to want to hold on to a relationship even in the face of apparent breakup.
A man can fall in love more than once ,he may hav esoemthings he appreciates in the last relationship but he moves on fast and he is on the look out for the next catch

@Topic:

Of course a guy can love more than once. It totally depends on the individual.

.

,

tpia*:

no.



@ topic

guys fall in love far too many times to count.

love, lust, whatever.

saint10:

So I'm probably SOL on this one since the topic so old, but I need some advice and I have no where to go for it. I don't want to brag these facets of my situation vital to any advice. I am a very good looking guy, and at the young age of fourteen I fell deeply in love with a girl from my school. She was and is still very beautiful, but beyond that I feel that we established a set of morals growing up together while dating that I cannot find in any other girl. We dated for three years, and then we broke up to date other people. I never wanted to date anyone else, and I don't feel as if I ever will. I am now 19 years old, and it has been two years since our break up. I am in college now, and I have been with 24 other partners. I feel sick over this, but I feel like I am in a never ending search to fulfill what my "x" once was to me. I have decided to just stop looking and let it come to me, and i know I am very young and this probably seems silly to everyone. The truth is, in two years I have seen my "x" about 4 times, but I think about her at least 20 times a day, dream about her almost daily, and I worry about her well-being constantly. She is currently with someone that loves her, and she loves him I believe, but he really is a terrible person. He has faced criminal charges for gang assault, among other things. Anyway, I have used drugs to relieve my pain since the break up. At 17 I was one of the most intelligent and attractive students in my school, and I now I use drugs. My "x" got into drugs, and I think I started to impress her. I havent gone one week without taking some kind of drug since I started, and while I feel it is under control, I have brothers that look up to me. Waiting around to find someone doesn't hurt me, because I occupy my time sleeping around. I always use protection and I have been tested and I am physically healthy (besides the drugs), but I have been scared enough to stop sleeping around. I don't think I will fall in love again, and I don't know if I want to. I have everyone around me fooled, hence the resortment of "Nairaland?" I almost feel as if she wants to move on, I want her to be happy, but I never want to be with anyone besides her. I truly and deeply love her. For someone that has since cheated on following girlfriends, I never cheated on this girl and I couldn't even think of it. It was physical with her even at a young age, but it wasn't the physical relationship that was important to me; it was the feeling I got in her presence, holding her while she slept, and kissing her every chance I had for three years. We broke up because of trust. I had the only thing I could ever want in my grasp and arrogantly tried to contain her from her friends and other boys. I have grown, but really all I want is to kiss her everyday for the rest of my life. What the f*** can I do with myself?

Boy you have Limerence,  pls go goggle it,  You are still Young and no marriage yet. Please don't take this likely,  am talking life time,  you can have for life. Lets just say am talking from decade long experience.  You need to join a support group,  get very busy so that you don't think too much,  and please date other as much as u can. Once u marry,  its even harder. Pls read ma post in the romance section concerning ma "20 years SAGA". My post should shed more light on Limerence,  People that have not experience it takes it to be crush,   Just goggle Limerence ,  you learn more about it. Get help,  You are even lucky you had a relationship,  I never had that opportunity  to have a relationship with my limerence object,

Well, well, well. I find it almost astonishing to have happened upon a post such as this on a random forum site. It caught my eye so much that I actually created an account for the sole purpose of replying to it and following it. I have a very interesting (perhaps) tale to add to this conversation.

So my story goes like this. In my sixth period class of sixth grade, I met the most beautiful person in my life. I must stop here to explain my idea of beauty. Physical attributes mean entirely nothing, and in fact neither attract me nor repulse me. When I look at a person, I see not those attributes, but what I know about that person. And so, people that I know nothing about look completely neutral to me. As my knowledge of that person becomes greater, whether or not they are beautiful or ugly begins to become clear. I'm not sure whether this is because I found instinctual beauty to be so illogical that I rejected it entirely to so much of an extent that my mind actually kicked it out of, or whether it is due to some other strange reason. But that's irrelevant anyway, so I might as well get back to the point. As ridiculous as this sounds I felt as if I had known this person for longer than I had even been alive, and it was as if I could perceive but a glimpse of her very soul (note I define soul as: who someone is at the deepest of levels-whether or not this is only the result of the many complex mental processes that make up the human mind, or the result of some actual non=corporeal thing. It matters not, for I only define it as who someone is.) through her eyes. And what I saw within that mere glimpse was something beyond perfection, something that transcended all limits, and even infinity (I realize the paradox in this). At first I thought her only to be my best friend. I would laze through the day, anticipating that one single hour in which I would be able to bask in her presence again. It was only after I remarked upon this that I realized how I truly felt about her. Before knowing her I had only existed, and it was only after meeting her that I was able to experience what it is to truly live. I was unfortunately to afraid of losing her as a friend and did not confess my feelings. Later on in seventh grade she began writing a novel which I practically worshiped. In the novel the protagonist, Jenna, and a character named Demetri Adrian Venturi were in love with one another. One day I had dreamed that I was Demetri and told her about this the next day. Later on at lunch we were drawing into the pavement with cashews. I drew a heart. She asked me if I had drawn the heart, to which I responded that I had. She then asked me about when I was dreaming that I was Demetri. She asked me who my Jenna was. I was so overwhelmed with confusing emotion, but I managed to shrug nervously and say "I don't know." About the biggest lie I have ever told someone. It was blatantly obvious that many people did not like her, which I found horrible. They couldn't see how great of a person she was. They were so locked within their own microcosms that the atmospheres of their own souls blotted out the majestic moon that was her soul from their view. I had been inspired by her story to write one of my own. I wrote one which contained similar concepts such as vampires, demons, angels, etc. At first, I could not think of a way to begin it, so I simply resorted to temporarily using one that had parallels with her own beginning. When I saw her dislike for it, I immediately changed it (to which she was unaware). Then one day in keyboarding class, we were to do a group slideshow on how different countries celebrate new years. I would have chosen to do the slide on Japan but she had already taken it, so I opted for China instead. I wasn't really paying much attention to it, since I was in the middle of typing out another one of my stories which the anime "Ryuusei no Rockman" or "Megaman Starforce" had inspired me to do. It involved contact with a hostile extraterrestrial species. While doing this, I was copying and pasting information into my China slide, for editing later. Someone asked me what I was writing. I told the person about the story, and about the other one I had been writing (the one about vampires). Before I could blink, She (I don't want to give out her name for the sake of anonymity, which I why I have not given it thus far) started yelling at me for plagiarizing. I did not know whether or not it was for my vampire story, my extraterrestrial story, or the copying an pasting thing. Whatever it was, I knew not what to say. I was too stupid back then to apologize and explain everything to her. I just did not know what to do. I still hung around the group, but she seemed to ignore my presence the whole time. Then came the time when she asked one of our friends out. He rejected her, and she ended up crying because of it. I was certainly jealous, but that feeling was small compared to my anger at him hurting her. I felt like beating the crap out of him. When I confronted him about it, he soon learned of my feelings for her, but kept it a secret. When she was crying and everyone else had left, I was still there. I wanted so desperate to console her somehow, but I knew not how. I couldn't handle seeing her so full of sorrow. She then asked me what I was doing there, with anger in her tone. I was so much of a clueless idiot that I got up and walked away in a panic. I was such a horrible person. For the rest of the year I ended up avoiding her, somehow thinking it might help her. I was so stupid. When I finally realized I should have apologized and explained everything, she moved away during the time period between seventh and eighth grade. For four years I had to deal with knowing that the only person in this existence I could ever be in love with hated my guts. 95% of my dreams went like this during that time period: I meet her again, she forgives me and becomes my friend again, I realize it is all a dream, and wake up with such an emptiness within myself that I cannot describe. When I had departed with her, I had returned to that wretched state of merely existing and not living, but this time, it was with a horrible and perpetual sadness. It is certainly the most horrid pain that I have ever or will ever experience. It made me realize just how weak physical pain is in comparison to emotional pain, which is the key to how I ignore the latter. Well, using my brother's facebook account, I found out that she had one. I then made one and had to relay the apology letter of my life, through one of her friends due to her settings only allowing friends to message her (I of course, assumed that she would never accept a friend request). She forgave me, and we became friends again. My nightmares went away. She is now in a relationship with someone else (which is why I still haven't confessed). Her happiness means more to me than being with her, which is why I will continue to support her relationship. I realize that this would doom me to never be with her, if her relationship does not end, but it does not matter. At least I will know that she is happy, and I do not want to get in the way of such happiness. Call me sentimental, naive, ridiculous, whatever you want. But I regret not my actions, regardless of how much sorrow they have indirectly resulted in. Because damn it all, I have experienced something so marvelous, so spectacular, so beautiful, that I feel the need to share that experience with everyone else. I wish I could tell you of the over infinite beauty that lies here, but it would be like attempting to describe a melody to someone who has always been deaf. You must experience it for yourself. I am now able to live, only because this one person exists. She deserves more than this world has to offer, and the world deserves her not. The universe should be grateful of her very existence. I have a strange knowledge of things about her. Before she even tells anyone about them, I know certain ideals, concepts, and preferences she has before she even tells anyone about them. More and more I am finding my perception of who she is to be correct. Somehow I know about her, without her even telling me what I know. And this is my life. I am currently eighteen years old. I hope my story provides some insight, though I admit that I am a very eccentric individual. What's interesting is that I find many beautiful people, but they do not attract me, regardless of how amazing they are. They simply become my friends. It is only her that I find myself loving. I haven't even gotten to hold her hand before, though I have imagined how incredible it would be to do so. Sometimes the way I get by is noticing traits that she had in other people, and reminiscing. I'm glad to have had the privelage of meeting her, and am happy, because she is currently happy. So I do not need soothing, for anyone who might try to. Sometimes I sympathize with the Lorien species in "I am Number Four" because of the way they only fall in love once.

People, please stop equating love with physical infatuation and lust. Such a thing is almost intolerably insulting to me. Also, please stop with the stereotypes concerning men and women. They are hasty and absurd, not to mention insulting to anyone who does not fit them. And I realize I might just be crazy, but It doesn't matter, because I still get to experience this beautiful thing.

Hmmm.. ladies maybe you are right

but i think the same applys to women... they never forget that guy who they gave their virginity too, and likewise guys never forget the first girl they have their heart too.

Make that person your spouse... and it will be well with you ooo

Back in the day there was this girl, just thinking about her made music sound better.. food taste better everything.

But i've never felt anything like that since.

pleep: Back in the day there was this girl, just thinking about her made music sound better.. food taste better everything.

But i've never felt anything like that since.

leilata: hey peeps i strongly believe guys fall in love once and only once. or at least there is always this one girl that they will have loved or will love more than every other girl for life. ladies think about it havent you been with a guy who has had a strong relationship before and u wonder if he will ever like u as much and u keep comparing yourself to them? and dont u sometimes feel that you will be for one guy "that girl", and fellas do u agree with me.

Truest story!!!

It's just that one girl!!!