I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

Too many red flags. Las las na u go decide sha

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

Bros if you want to live long run from that jezebel, she's manipulating you, she's using you, she doesn't love you, she's a runs girl, she has someone she loves and i can bet you part of the money us give she use to give it to that person, my son run don't look back, and another thing you're a very weak man, you don't take stand, your don't knw how to be disciplined in decision making, you compromise a lot

FanRong:
■ We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.
Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil. I need mature and candid advice please. Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

You already have more than enough reservations about the person you wish to be your life partner. Isn't that more than enough reason to call the entire relationship off? What do you expect us here to do for you? Give you instructions on how to do your own life.

Abeg, set the lady free make she go find herself person wey fit condone her as she dey.

Red 🚩

Bros, move on with your life and get somebody else if you do mistake enter this marriage na you to use your legs come out come gist us as usual.

First red flag.🚩
Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage?

Second red flag. 🚩
A good number of times, I see her as being selfish.

Third red flag. 🚩
I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf

You see anything ex, partner still communicating with ex and all that it's a No No for me. Op you also messed up how would you stand with your woman then went ahead to greet your ex, comon you disrespected your woman na.

Last red flag🚩🚩

I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy
She was living with a guy and didn't tell you, naso she for pin the guy belle for your head oo.

What if you didn't read her chat.

Anyways!! If anyone here is interested in reading your cheating partner's WhatsApp message directly on your phone.

Anyone, you can also read your kids message so you can know who is texting them

My number is on my signature text me on whatsapp with it.
Hold 1k before I teach you ooo.

Op move on get someone else, no waste your money on her.
Happy New Year in advance!!

She wasn't everything I need in a women
Is obvious you don't love her that much

. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
You can't love a girl and prevent her from making herself look pretty
But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January
Op you don't love this girl with all your heart, you just love her pvssy.
But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me
Put yourself in her shoes....if you're walking with her on the street and she sees her ex and she leave you to go and say hi to him...how will you feel? Very bad right?
This single act shows you don't value nor respect her.


All the red flag dey your side...soo just free her abeg.....nt the one you will marry her today then tomorrow you will send her parking.



My 2cents thou✌🏻

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Where to start from... you're living in sin.
Life has it's rules and principles and you've trespassed so many already.
This babe is an indication that God has left you to live your life as you please because your future with her doesn't look good at all and you don't need a prophet to tell you that.

My candid advice, repent from your sinful life. Stop being the boss/Lord of your life.
Invite Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior. Then you can start 2024 on a clean slate.

Find a peaceful way of breaking up with her.
You know the popular saying that there are relationships that should not cross over into the new year with you? She's definitely it.
You're both bad for each other.

God will be in charge if your new life and eventually as you build a relationship with God, you will know how he leads you through life and after transforming your life, you will eventually know when He leads you to your own wife.

God bless you.

Please do yourself, your future and unborn kids a favor and kill all the plans of marrying her.

She is not for you, yours is coming. The thought of marrying someone should make you feel happy, joyful and exciting not apprehensive.

I don’t know why you even have to post this here and ask for people opinion when the answer is obvious.

She has options and you are not her best option at the moment, she is just hitching a ride with you and want the ride as far as it could go.

She called her ex in your presence to come pick her from your house? Really? May every parent reap the fruits of their labour.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

*Sighs*

Here comes Luminouz again to save some SIMPS!!! It's obvious you are one because you compromise a lot and with each compromise, you disgust her more and more. Women hate weak men and punish them mercilessly.

1. Ditch the girl. Points 4,5&6 already told me that she is cheating. I already said it here that never tolerate any disrespect from any woman. She told you to your face to ditch her and she will go back to the ex and you allowed your neighbor to cool your brain? That girl is not for you.

2. How many times do I say it that it's not your job to upgrade any girl you haven't married? At least, you didn't give all she wanted but bros, what you have done is more than enough. She wasn't even grateful anyway so why continue with an ingrate?

3. She will never change and she doesn't want you. Her reluctance to call her people about wedding plans told me that. She wanted a shop from you and whatever else you can donate as a cheerful giver. Why allow yourself to be used like this?

4. I like the cohabitation part. It allows you to study who she is and understand each other better. That's one good thing you did. Now you have seen who she is but that you came here still asking if you overreacted or whether you should ditch her is confusing my confusion. Isn't it obvious what you should do with all the red flags I mentioned?

Dexy4yah:
She wasn't everything I need in a women
Is obvious you don't love her that much

. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.
You can't love a girl and prevent her from making herself look pretty
But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January
Op you don't love this girl with all your heart, you just love her pvssy.
But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me
Put yourself in her shoes....if you're walking with her on the street and she sees her ex and she leave you to go and say hi to him...how will you feel? Very bad right?
This single act shows you don't value nor respect her.


All the red flag dey your side...soo just free her abeg.....nt the one you will marry her today then tomorrow you will send her parking.



My 2cents thou✌🏻

Your two cents is balderdash! You are LORD SIMPDERMORT!!!

That you can't even reason logically on the matter dey shame me as a man. How can you say "all the red flags are on his side"? Did you read the story at all? He wasn't perfect but that girl ain't the one for him at all. She is rude, proud, classless and a cheat. That you didn't see all these is a red flag to me. Na your type dey go behind your friend's back to do aproko to his gf.

I don't pray to have a person like you as my friend. You can kill me because of pussy.

I don't think you two will have a successful marriage, kindly abort the marriage plans.

Marriage is overrated and most people marry the wrong person but manage themselves till they depart either by death or other reasons

1. Never marry a girl out of pity
2. Never marry a woman who does not respect you
3. Never marry a girl you cannot control
4. Never marry a girl who threatens you
5. Never marry a lady who can illegally cohabit with the opposite sex without conscience
6. Don’t ever show your weakness to a woman
7. Don’t marry a lazy girl
8. If you cannot teach, mold, recreate and positively influence her, please let go

Since i didn't hear from her end, it may be difficult to judge the matters.

Furthermore, my advice is take 1 hour to meditate, recall events of the 6 months again n check occasion of your disputes and agreement, if your disputes outway your agreement, be a man, don't use her pussy to beckon for marriage, and if you are sincere with yourself too, evaluate your mistakes to slknownyou were at fault, if you were in her shoes would you have reacted like her? And now in both cases, the enjoyment in the other room can make you be either misjudgemental or play favoritism to yourself, but take note you will spend more time with her personality than with the pusssy especially if it's sweet. And if you found it not pleasurable you are probably using that as an excuse to path ways. If you married her with her personality She will help you redefine your Future, so think twice and make a good decision to shape your future on the right path.

How did you and this lady met, how can you accommodate someone you don't know, you accommodated this lady because of free sex, the foundation of the relationship was built on pity, if you are only accommodating her and just having sex with her, it will be a case of friends with benefits, you won't even notice all those things you mentioned, but you have taken it to a level that only you wants and not in her agenda.
So oga, I'm not saying you should cancel the plans, just calm down and do it a step at a time, having heated argument with her means you are no longer tolerating her and no more existence of peaceful cohabitation and you may beat her one day.
So please apply wisdom.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

Red flag wan marry Red flag

The way you re like this.... Even if you date another woman.....you will still have problem with her.

Too much "I" in your relation with pple.
I did this....I did that..... I paid this....I don't like that.....I don't want this....I want that....i told her this...
Let me ask you...who the fuxk re you?. Try relaxing ego small.

I'm not saying she's a good person but then you need to work on yourself first.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

Brother, do the needful now before it's too late.Throw her out and cancel every marriage plans, because she's obviously an unfit partner for marriage.Dont ever make the mistake of marrying her, because your marital life will be hell.
You are already seeing the red flags.Dont ignore them.
The fact that she is still in communion with her ex is a boldly flashing Danger sign post.
Avoid paternity fraud by discarding her now.
If your lady can lie about living with her aunt in Lagos whereas she was living with her ex,there are most likely other secrets concerning her and her ex, she is hiding.
Women who lie and keep secrets a lot can never be trusted at all.
Brother,discard her now for your own sanity and peace of mind.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

In this space of 6 months, she has already shown you that she's

1. Unsupportive
2. Unfaithful
3. Disloyal
4. Unsubmissive
5. She doesn't love or rate you
6. She's doing you a favor living in your house

Why then do you want to force marriage on this girl?? This girl doesn't want you at all even as a boyfriend talkless of a husband...

Is it that something is wrong with you or you can't reason properly⚠️

The sweetness of vagina sometimes wouldn't allow you SIMPS to make your mamma proud♂️

Better do AWAY with that STREET girl coming January oga and engage a More productive lady in a relationship or better still take your time next year and look for a VIRGIN to date... Leave street broke girls alone nah habaa🙄

You know we always love hearing the other side of the story from the second person. Anyways...

1. There is a reason you've allowed this girl to stay in your house for six months. There are reasons why you insist on marrying her despite her shortcomings.

Unfortunately, you didn't make mention of her good qualities.

2. Since you've been persistent with her for a long time and expect an all-around change, it's possible her good side overrides her bad side.

3. Women of marriageable age are always happy when they are with men they love + marriage is around the corner.

If this girlfriend or fiancee of yours isn't enthusiastic about starting a family with you + hasn't started acting as a wife despite your seriousness and responsibilities towards her, it signifies that she isn't interested in you + lacks genuine desire for you.

4. A woman should be the one pressuring a man for marriage, not vice-versa.

A woman should be the one pushing you to come see her parents, not vice-versa.

And this only happens when she has a genuine desire for you + wants to spend her remaining years with you.

5. A woman who loves you will reciprocate your good deeds towards her. Especially when both of you cohabit and are nearby.

So if she can't do what's expected of her when with you, with marriage drawing near, I don't see how she can when both of you get married.

6. People help people they love without being asked all the time. Without being demanded or cajoled all the time.

If your fiancee can't do things with her initiative without being asked, then, she isn't someone you can lead in marriage.

7. The relationship started with lies. That's a red flag.

8. Not only that, after you've made your marriage intention, she was still cohabiting with her "bestie" until you confronted her.

That's a red flag.

9. She gets angry and doesn't mind throwing you under the bus.

That's a red flag.

10. She knew your phone was important to you. She couldn't think of ways to help you with it.

What assurance do you have that when shit hits the fan in marriage she will be there to help you?

11. She had her "bestie" as a second option when you first threw her out of the house. She was bold to say she would meet him.

That's a red flag.

She only begged to stay because of her benefits from you.

12. Man you've cohabited with this girl to roughly know her true character and predict how she will act in the future.

13. How does she support you? Is she a student, employee, or entrepreneur?

You didn't mention it.

14. Probably, her good qualities overshadow her bad qualities. If you know you can manage her from that angle, fine. Happy married life.

If you can't, don't wait till January before you fling her out of your life and your house.

Thanks.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the red flags are obvious?

As a man like me, please don't marry that girl. She will frustrate you when u marry her.

Imagine someone frustrating you and still come out to claim victim just because she's a woman and people will believe u re maltreating her, no one will entertain whatever u want to say to prove ur innocence..please bro, u still have the chance now..

Please
Marry her
She na wife material

You're even contemplating after all the red flags. Just don't come here and open another thread after the wedding.

Seeing all these and still seeking validation before doing the needful is a testament to the fact that pusssy is very powerful.
God be with you

You are too controlling and too autocratic. Only a helpless and a vulnerable vaginarian will be loyal to your type. As soon as she stands on her feet, she will run far far away. Don't marry now, work on yourself first because you have so many issues to deal with. If you marry that vaginarian, she will so disrespect you that you'll end up being a bully if you aren't one already. There's too much red flag coming from both sides, it's not just her. My new year resolution in this forum is to be just and fair so don't take it personal. Go and work on yourself for now young man.

Your choice. Did you ask us when you started cohabitation?

Just do the two can play that game thing and find out more then dump her sorry assszzz. Play as we use to play as a guy and never take things seriously. Don't marry her very very big red flags waving everywhere

Hmmm

I won't just pass judgements immediately, I still have questions to ask

For the one year you guys have dated and even lived together, what has she contributed to your life financially and psychologically, were you more happy before she came or after, why did you force her to announce her intentions of marriage to her people?

For her to confidently tell you she could leave if you're not happy with her in your home means she's still very much in communication with her ex and is willing to throw your relationship in the mud in a split second for another man.... I don't want to assume they have been doing more than just talk and chat

After seeing all these red flags are you willing to accommodate these excesses in marriage because in the end the decision lies with you, you will not be forced or pressured

My honest opinion is if you still love her and see yourself marrying her in the future, for now just give each other space, things are looking forced at the moment, find out more about this ex that she's still communicating with ( you may be shocked at what you find), in the area of cooking exert your will as a man, if she refuses to cook, insist on it if not as you have started it so shall you continue

Don't give a woman the opportunity to play you because she has hot head and can shout, she will see you as weak, use and dump you. Women love men with power and control(not abusive) but a man who exerts his authority as a man and the head of the house.

In the end it looks like you guys are going through the POWER STRUGGLE phase.

If you marry her,prepare for any of the below stated happenings.
1.you will open another thread five years later because you are not sure of the paternity of your children.
2.your sibling will open a thread telling us how their brother was killed by his wife.
I am no prophet,but this I have seen.

Let her be and in 10 years from now, you'll be glad you did.

Go get yourself a girl who will love, respect you, boost your confidence and treat you as a king worthy of respect.

Let that girl be, don't say you weren't warned.