My Dad allowed me choose my career, but if I've asked him I know he would've recommended one for me. Just like our earthly fathers, God allows us make choices but if we dare ask Him he always has recommendations. Guess what? His recommendation is always perfect cos He is a perfect being. Yours is only believing.

thnx alot for all the replies. really appreciate them.well im not really the 'going -out' type. i dont go clubbing,drinking or partying.

i work, i go to church and go out to buy things i need, and thats about it. i grew up with my parents 'cageing' the kids, so we hardly went out,so till now i still find it difficult to go out much, etc.

for those asking what i look like and if i am normal,lol, yes i am pretty, and yes i am normal. unfortunately,i seem to always attract the type of men i dont like. eg the really outgoing,party goers.

i believe in 'God-given' spouse cuz i feel just like He created Adam, he made Eve. so thats my belief. i have suitors who are not religious and who believe that God does not exist, i have suitors from islamic religion, but id rather prefer a man who believes in God the way i do.

Broaden your horizons, the more you increase your horizons, the more you stretch God's hand and the more hardworking the angels will be to order your steps to meet him.

Get out there. Go beyond any kind of border. Increase your wealth of friends and contacts.

Pls remove your email my dear. Now it's a safety issue. Good luck, your bone of your bone is coming.
Ignore societal pressure, there are a lot if married people wishing they were single, now pls se ope tie.

OP,
in your mid 20s, have you started building a career? atleast that part depends solely on you. or are looking for the unfortunate man to offload your bills on. (I wrote that because quite a number of ladies think they can't be independent without a man).

to the question.
Keep searching and while at it make your self the "good wife" material. so that when he comes you will be his perfect match too.

Prov31: 10-end

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find? He is also looking for YOU!
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands. being an help meet
14 She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
   s[b]he provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.[/b] No omoodo!!!!
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Because his wife is good!
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness. very important
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.” , you should be Excellent
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

There is no such thing as a God-given husband. God has pretty much given us a large field to choose from, the boundaries around the fence are:
1. He should not be married.
2. He should not be your blood relationship.
3. The person should not be the same sex as you.
4. if you're a christian, then he should be a christian.

Apart from those reasons listed above, you have a wide variety to choose from.

PS, Im born again too.

I remember asking just that . . . . . I was on many dating sites over 9 months. One day

in the shower I prayed to God to bring a man into my life so I would not be alone when

my mom dies. . . . two weeks later I met my now husband. And God has a strange sense

of humor, two months after we met my dad died unexpectedly . . . my mom who is on

borrowed time is still with us and adores my partner. May God help you find the right man

but it does mean you can't look on your own.


I would start with a top rated dating service like e-harmony. They do simple background checks and
long questionaires so lots of hurdles are already cleared for you. All you need to worry about
is the actual chemistry when you meet face to face(in a public place). Go for it.

mabell:

@taniboo
Firstly, I don't think this is the place to start searching for your life partner
Anybody could just jump at the offer and pretend and take you for granted

Secondly, if you believe God has someone for you, I'll advice you see your pastor ie if you have one
It is better you get married to someone your pastor has a strong hold over
Your pastor is your covering

I try to keep out of other people's religious beliefs but sometimes some people say some things and you have no choice but to butt in. This is one of this times,

Mabelle I don't know how old you are and I'm hoping you are ten years old because that is the only explanation for your ignorance. Did you even read what you wrote you foolish pastor worshipping bint? Pastor is her only covering? Are you crazy?

If pastor is her covering where is God in all of this? If they call you daft now, you will take offense but what else can  you call someone who puts their trusts on another human being.

I pity your life, I just hope you don't commit suicide the day your pastor falls off the pedestal you have put him on.

Most of our women have gone from wife "Material" to "Material" wife, so pathetic. The marriage policy a lot us adopt now is "just marry that woman "as is", don't verify, but make sure you are buying (oops sorry marrying) a woman that is as replaceable as a toyota part in ladipo, otherwise you are junked for life.
Wonder why i use motor part to describe my african queens, its just a cold fact considering the material love of our women.

God is still in the business of doing miracles and he works in TIME and seasons. If it is your time, He will bring the man to locate you wherever u are. Just belive in him and keep working on you faith. Do not be anxious.

As christian we should belive God for everything, most people feel we should not belive him for our partner, my dear you should.

Your standard should be the guy should be God fearing, when he comes, if you check your inner man and you have peace, he is the one.

The time to marry is different for everyone, cos God has a time and season, that is different for everybody. Even when we miss our time and season, He is the God of second chance and can still give us a second chance.

Look for things to make you happy and indulge in it, as long as it in line with the things of God

tosanj:

God is still in the business of doing miracles and he works in TIME and seasons. If it is your time, He will bring the man to locate you wherever u are. Just belive in him and keep working on you faith. Do not be anxious.

As christian we should belive God for everything, most people feel we should not belive him for our partner, my dear you should.

Your standard should be the guy should be God fearing, when he comes, if you check your inner man and you have peace, he is the one.

The time to marry is different for everyone, cos God has a time and season, that is different for everybody. Even when we miss our time and season, He is the God of second chance and can still give us a second chance.

Look for things to make you happy and indulge in it, as long as it in line with the things of God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V19t9AhUVWo&feature=related&fb_source=message

As usual we have a church to help solve your husband issue

wow

wow

@Odunnu
When I write be a cheerful giver,I mean that when you see people around you that are in need,eg- money wise, you should give cheerfully.If you read my points above and quite understand it u will find out that it will not be boring

another situation where you have been raised to have conflict btw ur heart and ur head! it's been drilled into you to seek for church boys and you will consult a pastor b4 you can have s e x with your husband but ur heart seeks for and therefor attract bad party hard but fun boys who will never listen to ur pastor's silly opinions!! hmmm!

you have until 27years of age as the best years of ur reproductive life n a lil more! your bible says two r better than one and that 3 is the best, ! 2 = you and ur husband and 3 equals you ur husband and God - not ur pastor!

when people come here and give the glory of god to pastors, hmmmm!

anyways, you r in a real serious situation since ur heart did not buy how u were raised but just ur mind! so, even if u find ur church man, you will always secretly long for play boys in ur heart and wonders how they r and if u missed out in life! the trick some say is half n half, use ur head and ur heart,


there must be boys brought up in the same environment as you were, but why r u not meeting them? because your heart does not want them, period!

next time you go to ur church, pls look for women in their 30s in the church and ask them why they r not married because im sure there r some in that church!?? they will explain to you why and then avoid what they r doing from now on so that u do not end up like them, unless u believe that u r special and different and that god somehow loves you more than he loves them n therefor will provide u with a husband but not for them??

at the end of the day, just remember that finding good love that will last is hard for everyone and stay strong, okay!i

finding love is not as hard as keeping the good love u may find though! and people's ability to love you does not depend on the money they have!

i been trying to get a wife in nigeria for a while now but im having problem because the girls r quick to lie about almost everything and even when they have no jobs they demand for gifts of computers and more which is highly suspicious for me living here in America where if you ask a girl do you drink(?) and they simply just tell u the truth yes, or no, while a nigerian girl will just lie with no hesitation at all!!

good luck

$tunna:

another situation where you have been raised to have conflict btw your heart and your head! it's been drilled into you to seek for church boys and you will consult a pastor b4 you can have s e x with your husband but your heart seeks for and therefor attract bad party hard but fun boys who will never listen to your pastor's silly opinions!! hmmm!

you have until 27years of age as the best years of your reproductive life n a lil more! your bible says two r better than one and that 3 is the best, ! 2 = you and your husband and 3 equals you your husband and God - not your pastor!

when people come here and give the glory of god to pastors, hmmmm!

anyways, you r in a real serious situation since your heart did not buy how u were raised but just your mind! so, even if u find your church man, you will always secretly long for play boys in your heart and wonders how they r and if u missed out in life! the trick some say is half n half, use your head and your heart,


there must be boys brought up in the same environment as you were, but why r u not meeting them? because your heart does not want them, period!

next time you go to your church, pls look for women in their 30s in the church and ask them why they r not married because im sure there r some in that church!?? they will explain to you why and then avoid what they r doing from now on so that u do not end up like them, unless u believe that u r special and different and that god somehow loves you more than he loves them n therefor will provide u with a husband but not for them??

at the end of the day, just remember that finding good love that will last is hard for everyone and stay strong, okay!i

finding love is not as hard as keeping the good love u may find though! and people's ability to love you does not depend on the money they have!

i been trying to get a wife in nigeria for a while now but im having problem because the girls r quick to lie about almost everything and even when they have no jobs they demand for gifts of computers and more which is highly suspicious for me living here in America where if you ask a girl do you drink(?) and they simply just tell u the truth yes, or no, while a nigerian girl will just lie with no hesitation at all!!

good luck

So why don't you just get a wife in America/in your environment? won't that be easier? or must you marry a nigerian by all means? considering all the hate spewed on this site by many nigerian men towards Nigerian women, I would expect more nigerian men to start marrying foreigners instead. There is no point marrying from a group of people (in this case, naija women) that one so strongly detests. Just saying,

God is a God of season and dispensation. God stopped choosing for man after the event in Eden because Adam blamed it on God for choosing Eve for her. In this dispensation, it "Whosoever findeth a wife, findeth a good thing". If you are born again, fill with the Spirit of God, believe me, you don't need any pastor as someone said your pastor is your covering, that statement is heresy because God is our covering and God does that through His Spirit, please be not deceived out of anxiety or your eagerness for marriage, OK.

I will advice you to following this few steps and watch God do it for you.

1. Pray for God favour: A man that will love you and that you will love.
2. Be open minded: You man can come from where or how you least expected.
3. Look good, look attractive, be good to people you meet, attend religious functions depending on your religion and attend social functions also (not in hunger for husband anyway) but these can also be avenues God can show up for you.
4. The Spirit of God will confirm whoever comes your way and there will be natural flow. Don't follow your flesh at this time but allow the inner conviction through the Spirit of God.
5. Don't rush yourself or things: Allow time to unfold event between you and whoever you meet. You need time to get to know each other.

GOD HELP YOU FIND FAVOUR IN JESUS NAME.

@OP

Stop being so desperate. I thought the bible said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Where does it say she who finds a husband finds a good thing? This is how ladies like you run into the open arms of wife beaters and abusers. Lateron, your type will come to nairaland for marital advice from strangers you know not. Upgrade yourself, focus on bettering yourself and when God's time comes, so-called Mr. right will come when you were least expecting. It will also be wise to consider dating men from other more humane cultures. Atleast you won't be under immense pressure to birth a preferable gender or drink dead body water and shave your head to prove your innocense if your husband happens to pass away before you. Think about it.

@poster, dont be desperate, work on the right values, yourself and your aspirations, always pray to God, consistently of what you want in a partner. Be friendly , neat and humble. I bet, the right guy will fish you out and when he does, please marry for the right reasons. Am, 32yrs with three suitors on my necking,pleading to marry me. I have to be careful of my choice and settle with whom will give me peace of mind through his character and purpose in life, cos thats what i watch out for. , Just be true and be patient, cheers.

@big meat, I just saw your question

You asked how my pastor can be my covering in areas of marriage
Firstly, I need to understand you better,
Do you believe your pastor can be your covering in every area of your life except marriage?

@ dasparrow

i was going to respond to ur attacks on me rather than my post and then i see that you attacked the OP right after!

so, imma let things be, but i still think u will get a lot farther if u respond to my issue (ie) dispute what i said rather than attack me, k!

you talk about hate r you not reading ur own post? saying that nigerian girls ive talked to automatically lie about simple questions or demand for expensive gifts is not hate, it is an issue n you can respond to it only by attacking the issue not me by calling me hater - doing that does not make u a very smart or  tough person either

you sound like some feminist bot, pls i do not have any energies for highly charged sexual politics now, so do move it along, k!

you figured u r the only one on NL who love nigerian women n the rest of us hate 'em, eh!!?? hmmmm

desperation .

chrisj2000 (m)
Re: Where Is My God-given Husband?
« #6 on: November 13, 2011, 10:06 PM »

The only way to find something be it husband or wife is to look for one. Those who waited for gods provision died wretched or without achieving their dream. U took the right step already, now you need to add some flavour to what you already started.
Learn how to dress well, avoid too much fasting and praying, don't ever bind Satan because whenever one binds Satan, that person has made him/herself enemy of Satan. Mind you Satan doesn't want to frustrate you but when you challenge him openly, he is ready to battle you with all his might.
Bear in mind that the best way to merchandise a product is to give sample. Whenever you meet a nice guy, make sure you give him sample of what you want him to buy. Good luck.


chinnyonwu (m)
Re: Where Is My God-given Husband?
« #21 on: Today at 12:00:06 PM »

Pls, don't pray and wait! Pray and ACT. Don't be like this woman pls


sister you see what i ll advice is that people like these you shouldn't attention to them at all for they are all devil incarnate they dont know anything about God and his words,!
for made us to know that the only adversary that has is the devil.:he made man lost his position and glory right in the garden of Eden hes still after that why bible say in

1Pe 5:8 ¶ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

james.4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
And after that you've prayed the word of God says wait.

i have much to say but my pc is on battery so this may not permit me to say much now but in the book of psalm as well word of God says that if a man's way is right before God He (GOD)maketh his enemies to be at peace with,I ll advice you to make your way right before God first then you ll get what you want easily without stress for no Man can GET ANYTHING except it been given from heaven and if you are not truly born again you can fight not the devil.if you may want me to help you,you can contact me on 017635859 either text or call I can even link you with genuine pastors that can help you with your life.

@op, it may or may not be the Lord's will for you, thus, put it in prayer, making your request made known unto GOD (Phil 4:6-7), but ultimately praying that HIS perfect will be done in your life, which is HIS. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matt 6:33

----------
"There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." - 1 Cor 7:34

"For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." - 1 Cor 7:7-9 (that is, to burn in sinful passion / lust outside of marriage)

deleted

@Poster, You have asked the right question, but unfortunately, in the wrong place. You will be more confused than before if you care to read all the comments so far.

I'm a Christian right from my teenage age, and now in my early 30, I married in my 20’s. I should be able to advise you a bit. I didn’t want to make mistake in the area of marriage. And I thank God, that I didn't make mistake. At least over 5 yrs experience in marriage. To God be the glory!

Since you are a Christian, I will advise you in the way of the LORD. Every son or daughter of God has the Spirit of God that leads and speaks in him/her. Unbelievers will not understand this, if at all they claim to be Christians. Hence, God communicates to us through the spirit in us. He does this in diverse ways, such as: His word, inner witnessing of the spirit, Prophecy, dreams, vision, circumstances, and through godly counselors. As a Christian, you must have known the way God speaks to you overtime, just like we know the way our earthly fathers communicate to us. God will speak to you in the same way in the area of your marriage.

Secondly, you need to communicate to God about your desire, through prayers. You ask in faith. He knows the best for you. God made Eve for Adam and not Adam that created Eve by himself. God said is not good for a man to be alone. Don't give God conditions such as; my husband must be a doctor, very tall, light in complexion etc. Pray with an open mind, that you need His best.

Thirdly, be patient as well. Don't be in a hurry. After you have done the will of God, you need patient to receive the promise. Even when you are convinced that God is leading you, YOU STILL NEED CONFIRMATION. And the best confirmation is Peace of mind. Marriage is binding for life until death do you part, and as such you can’t rush into it and rush out. That’s not God’s way. And that’s what most people practice today, but as Christians, we can’t do that. God frowns at such practice.
Fourthly, don’t reject the person God is leading you to. He may be Mr. Nobody today and later become Mr. somebody tomorrow. Don’t say this man is not handsome; he is not working in an Oil company etc. He read Zoology, who says Zoologist cannot become President of a Nation. That’s why you need to rely on God for His perfect leading and guidance.
Never go into pre-marital sex.
You can also go for godly marriage counseling as well. There is safety in the multitude of counsels.
Anyway, that’s my little contribution for now. Mind you, all I said, I practiced and they worked for me. I pray you will come back to say it also work for. My prayer is that you will not resolve to self-help.

You are asking right question at the wrong place, how will you get the correct answer, don't you go to church or knew a true pastor you can see for counselling. Most of the people here no nothing about God.

Bisijohn:

@Poster, You have asked the right question, but unfortunately, in the wrong place. You will be more confused than before if you care to read all the comments so far.

I'm a Christian right from my teenage age, and now in my early 30, I married in my 20’s. I should be able to advise you a bit. I didn’t want to make mistake in the area of marriage. And I thank God, that I didn't make mistake. At least over 5 yrs experience in marriage. To God be the glory!

Since you are a Christian, I will advise you in the way of the LORD. Every son or daughter of God has the Spirit of God that leads and speaks in him/her. Unbelievers will not understand this, if at all they claim to be Christians. Hence, God communicates to us through the spirit in us. He does this in diverse ways, such as: His word, inner witnessing of the spirit, Prophecy, dreams, vision, circumstances, and through godly counselors. As a Christian, you must have known the way God speaks to you overtime, just like we know the way our earthly fathers communicate to us. God will speak to you in the same way in the area of your marriage.

Secondly, you need to communicate to God about your desire, through prayers. You ask in faith. He knows the best for you. God made Eve for Adam and not Adam that created Eve by himself. God said is not good for a man to be alone. Don't give God conditions such as; my husband must be a doctor, very tall, light in complexion etc. Pray with an open mind, that you need His best.

Thirdly, be patient as well. Don't be in a hurry. After you have done the will of God, you need patient to receive the promise. Even when you are convinced that God is leading you, YOU STILL NEED CONFIRMATION. And the best confirmation is Peace of mind. Marriage is binding for life until death do you part, and as such you can’t rush into it and rush out. That’s not God’s way. And that’s what most people practice today, but as Christians, we can’t do that. God frowns at such practice.
Fourthly, don’t reject the person God is leading you to. He may be Mr. Nobody today and later become Mr. somebody tomorrow. Don’t say this man is not handsome; he is not working in an Oil company etc. He read Zoology, who says Zoologist cannot become President of a Nation. That’s why you need to rely on God for His perfect leading and guidance.
Never go into pre-marital sex.
You can also go for godly marriage counseling as well. There is safety in the multitude of counsels.
Anyway, that’s my little contribution for now. Mind you, all I said, I practiced and they worked for me. I pray you will come back to say it also work for. My prayer is that you will not resolve to self-help.

Best comment so far. I think OPs should stick to this. I like the idea of knowing how God communicates with you (thats a good one). But no pre-marital sex, lol, hubby go suffer during courting. Well I think I should even apply this to my personal life.

Don't go into pre-marital sex until you marry an impotent man or one with low or no sperm count.

You better test drive the thing before you marry.

In tne matter of marriage, as with other things, you have a part to play and God has His own part. Your man is already made, as was the rod in the hand of Moses. Your man is not going to fall from heaven; he is among those around you. However, have you being living holy? Every man wants to sleep with a "I am available", but no man wants to have her as wife. Look into yourself and don't throw yourself at any man. Seek, ask and pray!

na wa.