Booked the wrong space🤦
However, to avoid cases like this, always drink water before meals. And if you can, stay hydrated always.

Incase you find yourself in that situation again, sitting on the toilet seat restricts the flow of feaces in that kinda scenario. You would have stood on top of the toilet seat, then squat (spider man style). It releases it faster.


Ps. Stop sleeping around too. Shit!!🤦

This shit is strong 😂

FalseProphet1:
Yesterday is a day I'll never forget in my life.

Upon the request of a member, I visited him and his family. His wife prepared vegetable soup, I ate to my satisfaction and we had a very good gist.

After some minutes, I felt the urge to defecate, and he directed me to the restroom. I got in, locked the door, removed my trouser and boxers and hung them up, used a piece to toilet paper to clean the toilet seat, then balanced to get rid of the shit.

This is where the problem started. As I pushed for it to come out, I felt a very sharp pain in my anus. My stool was very dry and hard. I pushed and pushed like a woman in labour and the pain increased.

At some point, the stool got stock in my anus. And despite the fact that I pushed with all my strength, it refused to fully come out. I couldn't breathe again, I let out a faint noise of "ahhhhh" I thought I was going to die. I thought about my life, all the girls I've slept with, all the prophecies I've given, my goals and visions, my dream of building a mega auditorium...But what would they write on my obituary I said to myself, that I was killed by shit. No way. I decided to be a man and push that demonic stool out .

I took a deep breath and resumed my pushing, the pain was horrible, I called on the host of heaven to come to my aid. I started imagining how girls that engage in anal sex do it because it would definitely be painful.

To cut the long story, God gave me victory and I pushed it out of my anus. I regretted not coming with my bell, I would have rang it right there in the toilet for 1 hour to celebrate my victory.

Then the second phase of the problem began. the shit refused to flush. I was there in the toilet stuck for almost 1 hour flushing the useless stubborn shit. As God would have it, I remembered that I saw a red bucket on the corridor. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water and flushed. And the shit was defeated, I could heart it struggling in the pipe as it descended to the suck away, but it had already lost the battle.

I put on my clothes and joined the family in the living room, feeling refreshed and happy.

Truly that was a close call with death. I'm happy I survived it.

This I have seen.

it's very possible you took a very strong antibiotics before you went to your friends house

Nice

Which kind of fuckery is this, l know that you are lying, however, try and eat lots of fruits , drink lots of water as well

illicit:
True true

One don tear my anus before


Very dry hard shi...


🥴🤕🥵

The only thing that saved me that day was that my wife was around to assist. At a point I stopped breathing normal.

These are the kind of shits that are very sweet to pass out as stool

AngelicBeing:
Which kind of fuckery is this, l know that you are lying, however, try and eat lots of fruits , drink lots of water as well

It's not lies, I almost lost my life because of this.

Your own na child's play. I battled hard sh!t for more than one year. You can imagine the pain and struggle.

This thing showed me shege.

Me wey dey chop bread anyhow. The last time I had it, I nearly fainted.

Now I drink lot of water and take fiber too. My liquid paraffin too still dey house in case I need it.

I can relate oo! Blood and tears was emitted in mine.
I thought i will die!

Shit oo!

We no get power!

FalseProphet1:
Yesterday is a day I'll never forget in my life.

Upon the request of a member, I visited him and his family. His wife prepared vegetable soup, I ate to my satisfaction and we had a very good gist.

After some minutes, I felt the urge to defecate, and he directed me to the restroom. I got in, locked the door, removed my trouser and boxers and hung them up, used a piece to toilet paper to clean the toilet seat, then balanced to get rid of the shit.

This is where the problem started. As I pushed for it to come out, I felt a very sharp pain in my anus. My stool was very dry and hard. I pushed and pushed like a woman in labour and the pain increased.

At some point, the stool got stock in my anus. And despite the fact that I pushed with all my strength, it refused to fully come out. I couldn't breathe again, I let out a faint noise of "ahhhhh" I thought I was going to die. I thought about my life, all the girls I've slept with, all the prophecies I've given, my goals and visions, my dream of building a mega auditorium...But what would they write on my obituary I said to myself, that I was killed by shit. No way. I decided to be a man and push that demonic stool out .

I took a deep breath and resumed my pushing, the pain was horrible, I called on the host of heaven to come to my aid. I started imagining how girls that engage in anal sex do it because it would definitely be painful.

To cut the long story, God gave me victory and I pushed it out of my anus. I regretted not coming with my bell, I would have rang it right there in the toilet for 1 hour to celebrate my victory.

Then the second phase of the problem began. the shit refused to flush. I was there in the toilet stuck for almost 1 hour flushing the useless stubborn shit. As God would have it, I remembered that I saw a red bucket on the corridor. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water and flushed. And the shit was defeated, I could heart it struggling in the pipe as it descended to the suck away, but it had already lost the battle.

I put on my clothes and joined the family in the living room, feeling refreshed and happy.

Truly that was a close call with death. I'm happy I survived it.

This I have seen.

FalseProphet1:
Yesterday is a day I'll never forget in my life.

Upon the request of a member, I visited him and his family. His wife prepared vegetable soup, I ate to my satisfaction and we had a very good gist.

After some minutes, I felt the urge to defecate, and he directed me to the restroom. I got in, locked the door, removed my trouser and boxers and hung them up, used a piece to toilet paper to clean the toilet seat, then balanced to get rid of the shit.

This is where the problem started. As I pushed for it to come out, I felt a very sharp pain in my anus. My stool was very dry and hard. I pushed and pushed like a woman in labour and the pain increased.

At some point, the stool got stock in my anus. And despite the fact that I pushed with all my strength, it refused to fully come out. I couldn't breathe again, I let out a faint noise of "ahhhhh" I thought I was going to die. I thought about my life, all the girls I've slept with, all the prophecies I've given, my goals and visions, my dream of building a mega auditorium...But what would they write on my obituary I said to myself, that I was killed by shit. No way. I decided to be a man and push that demonic stool out .

I took a deep breath and resumed my pushing, the pain was horrible, I called on the host of heaven to come to my aid. I started imagining how girls that engage in anal sex do it because it would definitely be painful.

To cut the long story, God gave me victory and I pushed it out of my anus. I regretted not coming with my bell, I would have rang it right there in the toilet for 1 hour to celebrate my victory.

Then the second phase of the problem began. the shit refused to flush. I was there in the toilet stuck for almost 1 hour flushing the useless stubborn shit. As God would have it, I remembered that I saw a red bucket on the corridor. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water and flushed. And the shit was defeated, I could heart it struggling in the pipe as it descended to the suck away, but it had already lost the battle.

I put on my clothes and joined the family in the living room, feeling refreshed and happy.

Truly that was a close call with death. I'm happy I survived it.

This I have seen.

obligatory

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/

What did I just read?

How did this gutter trash backyard gist best reserved for brothels and drug bunks get to front page ?

Oh Nairaland is gone. My once revered beacon of quality information and interaction is gone finally

I remember the good old days of Nairaland, where the tech section was the place to be for free browsing tips and symbian phone hacks.

Where you could learn so much from the frontpage of Nairaland alone than someone who browsed the whole internet.
You could learn about cars, business , life etc.
But today this site is no better than a low budget pornographic website

I can relate . Runs out of thread

FalseProphet1:
Yesterday is a day I'll never forget in my life.

Upon the request of a member, I visited him and his family. His wife prepared vegetable soup, I ate to my satisfaction and we had a very good gist.

After some minutes, I felt the urge to defecate, and he directed me to the restroom. I got in, locked the door, removed my trouser and boxers and hung them up, used a piece to toilet paper to clean the toilet seat, then balanced to get rid of the shit.

This is where the problem started. As I pushed for it to come out, I felt a very sharp pain in my anus. My stool was very dry and hard. I pushed and pushed like a woman in labour and the pain increased.

At some point, the stool got stock in my anus. And despite the fact that I pushed with all my strength, it refused to fully come out. I couldn't breathe again, I let out a faint noise of "ahhhhh" I thought I was going to die. I thought about my life, all the girls I've slept with, all the prophecies I've given, my goals and visions, my dream of building a mega auditorium...But what would they write on my obituary I said to myself, that I was killed by shit. No way. I decided to be a man and push that demonic stool out .

I took a deep breath and resumed my pushing, the pain was horrible, I called on the host of heaven to come to my aid. I started imagining how girls that engage in anal sex do it because it would definitely be painful.

To cut the long story, God gave me victory and I pushed it out of my anus. I regretted not coming with my bell, I would have rang it right there in the toilet for 1 hour to celebrate my victory.

Then the second phase of the problem began. the shit refused to flush. I was there in the toilet stuck for almost 1 hour flushing the useless stubborn shit. As God would have it, I remembered that I saw a red bucket on the corridor. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water and flushed. And the shit was defeated, I could heart it struggling in the pipe as it descended to the suck away, but it had already lost the battle.

I put on my clothes and joined the family in the living room, feeling refreshed and happy.

Truly that was a close call with death. I'm happy I survived it.

This I have seen.

Hard pellet stool, which sometimes is a symptom of constipation can be indeed painful.

It is also a risk factor for hemorrhoids, anal fissure and even rectal prolapse. I'm sorry for your ordeal. Although you added spice to make it sweet tho.

FalseProphet1:
Yesterday is a day I'll never forget in my life.

Upon the request of a member, I visited him and his family. His wife prepared vegetable soup, I ate to my satisfaction and we had a very good gist.

After some minutes, I felt the urge to defecate, and he directed me to the restroom. I got in, locked the door, removed my trouser and boxers and hung them up, used a piece to toilet paper to clean the toilet seat, then balanced to get rid of the shit.

This is where the problem started. As I pushed for it to come out, I felt a very sharp pain in my anus. My stool was very dry and hard. I pushed and pushed like a woman in labour and the pain increased.

At some point, the stool got stock in my anus. And despite the fact that I pushed with all my strength, it refused to fully come out. I couldn't breathe again, I let out a faint noise of "ahhhhh" I thought I was going to die. I thought about my life, all the girls I've slept with, all the prophecies I've given, my goals and visions, my dream of building a mega auditorium...But what would they write on my obituary I said to myself, that I was killed by shit. No way. I decided to be a man and push that demonic stool out .

I took a deep breath and resumed my pushing, the pain was horrible, I called on the host of heaven to come to my aid. I started imagining how girls that engage in anal sex do it because it would definitely be painful.

To cut the long story, God gave me victory and I pushed it out of my anus. I regretted not coming with my bell, I would have rang it right there in the toilet for 1 hour to celebrate my victory.

Then the second phase of the problem began. the shit refused to flush. I was there in the toilet stuck for almost 1 hour flushing the useless stubborn shit. As God would have it, I remembered that I saw a red bucket on the corridor. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water and flushed. And the shit was defeated, I could heart it struggling in the pipe as it descended to the suck away, but it had already lost the battle.

I put on my clothes and joined the family in the living room, feeling refreshed and happy.

Truly that was a close call with death. I'm happy I survived it.

This I have seen.

The vegetables wasn't the reason you had constipation... it was as a result of the food you eat before the day you visited ur friend..

It a crazy experience and I pray you won't experience it again oh...

Dis period... try dey eat food that contains fiber and consume more water this period to help you break down ur foods

Also... First thing in the morning around 6am... drink one bottle of water.... so before 7am... u can easily drop ur poo without stress..

Next time make use of Liquid Paraffin. Take it before going to toilet and it will make your excretion easy without stress. It what I used when I was in the same situation and it worked for me

The torments of strong shit

Holluwhakemmy:
You should have take water it will aid your digestion. Praise the Lord you made it, when are we going to share testimony in church?

. You don't understand the situation on the ground. This is a severe constipation and he needs to take paraffin oil for a week to avoid reoccurrence.

slimjohn2k5:
I missed strong poo
The feeling after is that of joy and victory.

The fact that I can relate with this is crazy

Namaster:
Some of you are talking about pushing and pushing like you have no regard for your life. Straining in the toilet can cause a lot of problems including hemorrhoids and anal fissure.

It's great that you escaped with your yansh intact. Now you, and the guy with sugarcane shit, need to make the following lifestyle changes:

1. Drink a LOT of water. No matter how much you drink CURRENTLY, drink more! Stay hydrated ALWAYS. Don't go anywhere without a bottle of water.

2. Eat a LOT of fiber. Green vegetables like Ugwu and fruits like apple, banana and watermelon should be your main diet.

3. AVOID bread. Eating most bread in Nigeria is begging for constipation.

4. Reduce rice.

5. Stop drinking alcohol. Alcohol dehydrates and ends up sucking up the moisture that should have heen used as a lubricant for your stool.

6. Don't strain in the toilet.

How is 3 and 4 possible for an average man/family in Nigeria today?

FalseProphet1:
Yesterday is a day I'll never forget in my life.

Welcome to the shit show. Five star certified

FalseProphet1:
Upon the request of a member, I visited him and his family. His wife prepared vegetable soup, I ate to my satisfaction and we had a very good gist.

After some minutes, I felt the urge to defecate, and he directed me to the restroom. I got in, locked the door, removed my trouser and boxers and hung them up, used a piece to toilet paper to clean the toilet seat, then balanced to get rid of the shit.

This is where the problem started. As I pushed for it to come out, I felt a very sharp pain in my anus. My stool was very dry and hard. I pushed and pushed like a woman in labour and the pain increased.

Constipation red flag

FalseProphet1:
At some point, the stool got stock in my anus. And despite the fact that I pushed with all my strength, it refused to fully come out. I couldn't breathe again, I let out a faint noise of "ahhhhh" I thought I was going to die. I thought about my life, all the girls I've slept with, all the prophecies I've given, my goals and visions, my dream of building a mega auditorium...But what would they write on my obituary I said to myself, that I was killed by shit. No way. I decided to be a man and push that demonic stool out .

I took a deep breath and resumed my pushing, the pain was horrible, I called on the host of heaven to come to my aid. I started imagining how girls that engage in anal sex do it because it would definitely be painful.

To cut the long story, God gave me victory and I pushed it out of my anus. I regretted not coming with my bell, I would have rang it right there in the toilet for 1 hour to celebrate my victory.

Announce that you're alive shit. Shit could be worse. That shit for real was dope though. It takes going through some shit, to realise some shit

FalseProphet1:
Then the second phase of the problem began. the shit refused to flush. I was there in the toilet stuck for almost 1 hour flushing the useless stubborn shit.

Sign of dehydration caused by lack of enough water

FalseProphet1:
As God would have it, I remembered that I saw a red bucket on the corridor. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the bucket, filled it with water and flushed. And the shit was defeated, I could heart it struggling in the pipe as it descended to the suck away, but it had already lost the battle.

I put on my clothes and joined the family in the living room, feeling refreshed and happy.

Truly that was a close call with death. I'm happy I survived it.

FalseProphet1 beloved, posters rather hear about your prophecies, so keep talk about your inspirational shit to yourself next time.

FalseProphet1:
This I have seen.

You deffo was exhaustipated
- was too tired to give a shit.

My very simple trick during a meal eating.
Have your veggies first, then your proteins, followed with your fats and then your carbs last.

Food order:
Water + ACV (30 minutes, before)
1.⁠ ⁠Veggies (i.e. fiber) even sauerkraut too sef
2.⁠ ⁠Protein + fat
3.⁠ ⁠Carb (e.g. rice & fruit )

_{Personal text: Jesus is not a theologian. He is God who told stories.}

Use your pinky finger to break it up from inside small small

Commercially grown vegetables are better avoided.
You ate a meal previously that caused such constipation.
But the vegetable in the recent meal set the pace of your journey of return.

Namaster:
Some of you are talking about pushing and pushing like you have no regard for your life. Straining in the toilet can cause a lot of problems including hemorrhoids and anal fissure.

It's great that you escaped with your yansh intact. Now you, and the guy with sugarcane shit, need to make the following lifestyle changes:

1. Drink a LOT of water. No matter how much you drink CURRENTLY, drink more! Stay hydrated ALWAYS. Don't go anywhere without a bottle of water.

2. Eat a LOT of fiber. Green vegetables like Ugwu and fruits like apple, banana and watermelon should be your main diet.

3. AVOID bread. Eating most bread in Nigeria is begging for constipation.

4. Reduce rice.

5. Stop drinking alcohol. Alcohol dehydrates and ends up sucking up the moisture that should have heen used as a lubricant for your stool.

6. Don't strain in the toilet.

😆 🤣 😂

That triumphant feeling afterward is exhilarating...

Try to drink enough water. Reduce your bread intake.

It wasn't cause by the vegetable soup you ate in your friend's house.
Vegetables are fiber: helps with constipation.

Sorry for the ordeal; you went through a pinch of what women go through in the labor room...

Mine happened about 3 years ago after taking a pack of antibiotic tablets pescribed for me for skin infection.

For four days, I could not remove the stubborn shit after drinking loads of water, fruits and all. I just have to go to the hospital and warm liquid was put into my anus like drip before I could defecate, when I touched it with something, it was as strong as I have imagined and bet you, there was no way that thing could have come out of my body without medical intervention.

The relief and the sleep that I slept that day was heavenly because that kept me awake for two days because of the severe inconvenience.

Had the same experience 2 weeks ago. Although I had typhoid initially but after 4 days of recovering i experienced the hard stool shit. Possibly due to dehydration.

Nyash no get teeth, but e dey cut shit, e fit be say these people nyash no dey get motivation [color=#000099][/color]