Reginaoyah:
I noticed that it's mostly the men talking about how ungrateful I am, paying a blind eye to the fact that my husband has not been a good man. How he would never ask me if I want to make my hair, not even for Christmas. How he doesn't know how much my clothes cost. How I could go and kill myself instead of him to give me the least 5k to do something. If any of you were me, you would either feel the same or worse.

Who said plumbers are broke? This man collects contract to wire an entire building. Children will come back from school and would want something from your shop, from the same 100k you were given 6yrs ago?

Madam abeg carry your entitlement away from here. You are a very bad wife and that man doesn’t deserve you. You deserve to be with your brother’s wife so she will keep using you to train her children. F00/ish woman. I always advise my brothers to avoid women like you. Unappreciative and dumb. “We will see in old age”… that man will be strong and healthy in old age.. God will give him strength of a thousands..he will never be at your mercy. Wicked woman

Reginaoyah:
100k 6yrs ago I believe was a lot of investment to last me a lifetime.

See human being brain..Tueh!

Somehow you've managed to put the blame for the woman's failure in business on the man. Is she a child?

So when she started nagging the man about opening a business for her, what would you have expected the man to do?

If the same man had asked the wife to try and learn the business first under the tutelage of an established business, the likes of you would still crucify the man for not supporting the wife.

Kobojunkie:
The mistake most Nigerian men make, OP's husband one of them, is to assume that every woman is a good businesswoman. Every man out there, even those who claim to own businesses, is not good at business so why in the world would anyone assume that all women, those with businesses on hand, are good businesswomen? I fault OP's husband in that case. Before a sensible individual chooses to invest in a business, he or she ought to carefully investigate the business to realize if it is indeed successful and profitable or simply held up with bandages and loans.

Neverlookback:
Somehow you've managed to put the blame for the woman's failure in business on the man. Is she a child?

So when she started nagging the man about opening a business for her, what would you have expected the man to do?

If the same man had asked the wife to try and learn the business first under the tutelage of an established business, the likes of you would still crucify the man for not supporting the wife.

That's women for you ...
In their minds, "I'm never at fault" ...
You sha get time to respond to her ...

Neverlookback:
■ Somehow you've managed to put the blame for the woman's failure in business on the man. Is she a child?
■ So when she started nagging the man about opening a business for her, what would you have expected the man to do? If the same man had asked the wife to try and learn the business first under the tutelage of an established business, ...

1. The man shares the blame here is what. Not everyone out there is business savvy! OP's major complaint stems from her being just that — not business savvy. And her husband is to blame for assuming that she ought to be. If he had instead invested that money, say in a farm or even kept it in a bank somewhere, maybe they would both be better off today.

That said, all hope isn't lost as even the worst person out there when it comes to money skills can still learn a thing or two and if OP works at it, I am certain, she may make some headway, even if she is never able to turn that business of hers into a multi-million dollar venture.

2. Let's assume the man married OP when she had no business of her own, he should have told her right there and then what his intentions were for them in their marriage.

If OP had nagged him into opening a business for her, then he should have made it clear to her right there and then that the money he was giving to her was to cover all of her care and needs from that point onwards. Marriage is after all a contract and even after the contract has been first sealed, amendments could still be made, it should be communicated so both parties are in the know. OP seems to have been mostly in the dark about the man's intentions for 6 years ago and that may have contributed majorly to her frustration. If he had made clear to her six years ago that he would no longer give her money for her upkeep and whatever else, maybe OP would seen no reason to walk around frustrated.

Reginaoyah:
Children see more than you think. There's no need for that. My daughter is already saying things.

Yes, the things you put in her head. Continue!

mrblessed:
Yes, the things you put in her head. Continue!

Generally speaking.

She doesn't have to say anything to the child, children are more observant than we think. They see a lot and say what they see. Even if the mother is trying to cover up for the Dad they know. They are smart.

It's the duty of Men to ensure their children see good things about them.

INGRATITUDE HURTS.

ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY IS A VERY REPUGNANT TRAIT.

That's all I have to say.

Sorry for your predicament.....that is why they said who we Marry will eventually help shape the course of our life's journey. I pray things better for you

Reginaoyah:
He footing the bills is what men with families do. He's not doing me any favour. You ppl saying I ran down the shop, my dear, it's a small business. My savings was in it too. Business has expenses...light bills, community levies, my fridge freezer went bad at least twice in the past yes, I fixed it from shop proceed. You sometimes eat from it, how will it grow? I cannot divorce him, but we will see in old age.

You can't divorce him because SUFFER will be your 2nd name!!!

Nonsense, a non-appreciative woman!!

Reginaoyah:
What are you saying? For more than 9yrs, I cloth myself. On festive periods, I cloth myself including my hair. I am on low cut now because I cannot afford it. Even a boyfriend will do better not to talk of a man you are married to. And FYI, this is not about lifestyle. It's the basic.

Nothing stops you from having the so-called boyfriend, don't worry they spend well on you.

Reasonable ladies are giving you top-notch advice but you are being adamant.

Clevagal:


Madam abeg carry your entitlement away from here. You are a very bad wife and that man doesn’t deserve you. You deserve to be with your brother’s wife so she will keep using you to train her children. F00/ish woman. I always advise my brothers to avoid women like you. Unappreciative and dumb. “We will see in old age”… that man will be strong and healthy in old age.. God will give him strength of a thousands..he will never be at your mercy. Wicked woman

They are always waiting to deal with their husbands at their old age, God will make that man very rich and healthy at his old age.

The money the OP has been mentioning to start her business is in millions. At least 1.5 Million naira and the business she has interest in is still Provisions business but at a wholesale level.

Here is what I want to say inn addition to AgentGoat, dominique, Brandiebird, Fahvvy, et al.

There is a guy who is loaded somewhere that is opening the OP eyes to a life of luxury possibly in exchange for her body and she is looking for people here who would condemn her husband thereby giving her the needed justification to do what she has in mind.

She doesn't want to learn a skill. Is not even interested in starting another line of business that wouldn't require capital in millions and then solicit for support to fund her business.

In all she has said, she didn't mention if her husband is changing clothes or not, if he is dying and perming his hair, if he is buying new shoes, going to beer palours or living a lavish lifestyle while she is left suffering and looking haggard.

The man is footing the bills for medicals, school fees of children, clothing for children, etc.

The OP has never mentioned where she appreciated the husband with a gift or support for marrying her as a liability and providing an escape route for her from suffering under her elder brothers' wife's hand.

OP, do what's on your mind. Support if you want to. Cheat if you want to.
At least you've mentioned that your husband doesn't cheat on you.

Your husband is not on a fixed income. He is an artisan. Sort of like many who are freelancers. Income is not always sure. There are periods of droughts. And so, reasonable people not on fixed income especially try to save for these periods of droughts and focus onn spending only on things that have future value and not just the present.

Your husband is focusing on the kids which has future value. He is a plumber. A one man army. He doesn't own a company. You say he gets contract but you forget that he has to share the money with other people that he will ask to work with him to execute the contract to meet up the deadline, do a good job and not get worn out and die untimely.

Madam, do what is right in your eyes but note that choices come with consequences, responsibilities and sacrifices.
Consider the positives and the negatives of whatever choices you want. Do a SLOT (look it up) analysis and do what you want.

Reginaoyah:
He pays all of that, yes. I am angry that he doesn't support me. I feel like I married my enemy.

Na wa. Na real wa ...

More fake stories 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

Reginaoyah:
He footing the bills is what men with families do. He's not doing me any favour. You ppl saying I ran down the shop, my dear, it's a small business. My savings was in it too. Business has expenses...light bills, community levies, my fridge freezer went bad at least twice in the past yes, I fixed it from shop proceed. You sometimes eat from it, how will it grow? I cannot divorce him, but we will see in old age.

'We will see in old age'

The old age thing only works for men who neglected or abandoned their families in their youth.

You think children don't know or recognize fathers who do their duty?

You on the other hand are nothing more than an entitled whiner who thinks your husband owes you a living

I am sure you are actually a troll account, because your origin story of an orphan who grew up with hard labour and neglect does not match your entitlement. I expect this story from someone who grew up with everything handed to her on a platter.

Ishilove:

Na wa. Na real wa ...

More fake stories 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

This doesn't look fake at all. If you consider her engagement on the thread and responses, you realized that is not a fake story.

Reginaoyah:
He pays all of that, yes. I am angry that he doesn't support me. I feel like I married my enemy.

If he pays all of that, what then is your contribution /support in the marriage?

Daryl123:
If he pays all of that, what then is your contribution /support in the marriage?

Expectation of Christmas dress and hair..

AgentGoat:




Pack comot for his house. Your entitlement is too much!! Go marry a rich guy that can give you the phantom eldorado you are looking for. You can also become a plumber and be getting those contacts for yourself.


You think it is easy out there?

You be ungrateful human being.

Ah ah......you dey para oh

Stevenbright:


This doesn't look fake at all. If you consider her engagement on the thread and responses, you realized that is not a fake story.

If it is fake then she is very unappreciative

GloriousGbola:


'We will see in old age'

The old age thing only works for men who neglected or abandoned their families in their youth.

You think children don't know or recognize fathers who do their duty?

You on the other hand are nothing more than an entitled whiner who thinks your husband owes you a living

I am sure you are actually a troll account, because your origin story of an orphan who grew up with hard labour and neglect does not match your entitlement. I expect this story from someone who grew up with everything handed to her on a platter.

Which is why I am even sceptical about the genuineness of this story

Greatsm:

Expectation of Christmas dress and hair..

odiegwu

I didn't want to respond to this but still have to cos it seems op lack some understanding what marriage entails. You see, if you have an entitled mentality as a woman, you will fail In marriage. I know op type very well, they are the kinda of woman that will want their husband to toil and toil till they die and nothing to show for it. I pray men should not meet such kinda woman. What support have you brought into that marriage, you are a chronic liability having high level of expectations in marriage. We know how difficult the economy have become now and there is no family that is finding it easy now. You should count yourself lucky to still have a man that pay bills and is responsible at home cos most women are there are the one footing the bills at home now. The man is looking for how to foot bills and make sure family doesn't go hungry, na Christmas hair and cloth they bother you, are you a kid , if as a woman you expect this from a man this this present time, then you should be ashamed of yourself. Petty things like this should be handled by you and not disturb the innocent man that is thinking of how to pay rent, lights, food, sch fees etc. Common just grow up and be useful to yourself. Leave that business if it's not yielding and think of something else you can do and stop been over expectant . People like you, it's when you divorce or loose that man you will know what have befall you. When you become single mother and take care of your kids bill, I will see how you will be able to think about hair or Christmas cloths. Be humble and respect that man cos it's not easy to be a responsible man at this time now.you are just a typical example of my ex wife. Now I have divorce her . Na she know watin her eyes done see already.

Reginaoyah:
He pays all of that, yes. I am angry that he doesn't support me. I feel like I married my enemy.

Why don't you just look inward and be a better version of yourself?

You could do better by focusing on yourself, consciously letting go of complaints, and before you know it, your husband will gravitate towards you effortlessly helping you as he used to do.

Afodot0022:
■ I didn't want to respond to this but still have to cos it seems op lack some understanding what marriage entails. You see, if you have an entitled mentality as a woman, you will fail In marriage. I know op type very well, they are the kinda of woman that will want their husband to toil and toil till they die and nothing to show for it. I pray men should not meet such kinda woman. What support have you brought into that marriage, you are a chronic liability having high level of expectations in marriage. .

While you point fingers to blame OP type, be sure to acknowledge the other fingers pointing back at the men who willingly and blindly go out there to marry OP type in the name of "I must marry".

From what OP stated so far, her husband knew her type before going forward to engage her in marriage. He was aware of her being of the OP type you speak of yet ignored reason and married her probably with the inane expectation that OP would magically change from who she was to who he desired. You should equally warn men like OP's husband who blindly engage women in marriage without first ensuring they are ready and able to handle the type, even if OP type.

Married people problems no dey finish

Reginaoyah:
I decided to create this account to stay anonymous. I have been married for 11yrs. My marriage is blessed with 2kids. A boy and a girl ( 10 and 6yrs olds). I will try and make this brief. I was 28yrs old when I married. An orphan who grew up with her older brother's wife. I accepted to marry because all my life, I had known hard labour. My brother's wife used me to raise her kids and work if you understand what I mean. When marriage came, I saw it as an escape route from that lifestyle. Unknown to me that I will be feeling the way that I do now. Few days ago, I thought of killing myself because of what my life has become. My husband was nice before, now I don't know what to tag him . I have prayed and I am tired . He just does not care about me but I know he is not cheating. He gives me no support in the small provision business I do but for like 3yrs now I notice that he has change. The only time that he gave me money to add to my business was when I first started it. Some times as a mother and wife, I take things from the store that we use at home. So whenever this shop runs down, he never gives me money, I am always taking loans to fund, then when I finish repayment, I take again. Never buys my clothes or give me money for my hair. When I ask he says he opened shop for me. I have been taking loans to fund the shop because I don't have a helper but my husband looks the other way. We live in a student environment, a student came to buy pure water and stole my phone, my husband didn't bother or think of buying a new one. He's a plumber, whenever he comes back from work and it's like there's a bill, he tells me he doesn't have money. He hides his phone from me so that I don't see alerts. I wear clothes, ppl see me then praise him assuming that he's responsible for them but this man has not given me money for clothes in years. Not even for pants or pads.

I have reported him to ppl but he comes back even worse. He gives me money for food on Saturdays. So I cook a pot of soup and stew which the money will carry...imagine my kids taking rice and stew to school Monday to Friday because they have to eat eba as dinner. This is where I sometimes secretly take them to the shop to change meals. I complained and he said that they have to eat what he has as they are even lucky to see food.

I asked him if he was ready for marriage and he said YES. He married me well. Did everything. But I hate that I married him.

Please, I don't know what to do. I am overthinking because I am already in a 190k debt I don't know how to pay or when. His brother abroad reads my messages then ignore. My brother is old I can't ask him for anything. I feel I married a wicked man. Now we hardly even talk without quarreling.

Spend any money you have on yourself and your kids. Anyday he fails to provide money for food don't use your own money to feed him. Reduce your expenses and live within your means. May God be with you.

Deeegbee:


They are always waiting to deal with their husbands at their old age, God will make that man very rich and healthy at his old age.

lol

Hmmmmmmmmm.

EreluRoz:
lol

EreluRoz, is not true?

Deeegbee:


EreluRoz, is not true?

Not entirely true

EreluRoz:
Not entirely true

I know it is not completely true, it depends on the woman involved!!!