Before we met or got married, my wife used to date a guy. But because of religious difference and pressure from her family, the relationship went nowhere and they parted. The guy later got married to another lady. Unfortunately about a year and a half ago, he became widowed when his wife died of cancer. To my utmost surprise my wife is now trying to match him up with a friend of hers who lives in the UK. In fact things have gone so far that the girl will be coming to the US by January to see the guy. My wife is so enthusiastic about this match-making that she spend hours over the phone discussing the issue with her friend almost every other day. i haven't said anything about it. I'm just confused whether she was genuinely trying to help her friends out or is there a sinister emotional triangle that eludes me ?

its unfortunate, its not completely over between them, I'm so sorry

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201003/searching-your-ex-lover-the-value-nostalgia

dude i dont see anything wrong with your wife helping him out. yes they have a history but she is married to you. you also know that your wife is hooking him up with a friend and she discusses the matter in front of you, so i see no issues.

Though you can talk to your wifey and let her know that you feel like the amount of attention she is giving to this guy is taking away from yours. hopefully she understands and tells the guy to take a hike after the hook up with the friend

How insecure are you?

She might be genuinely trying to help two people out. I'm sure if she wanted him for herself she would have had him by now. You should know your woman by now and trust her.

If you're still not happy with the match-making maybe you should speak to her about it.

They were madly in love and were 100% over each other if not for their families and, Yeah, a BIG red flag in my opinion. She'll eventually move to that point were neglect to her husband in-front of her ex-boy friend without even realising it will be very pronounced. What's this crab " you know your wife", where did you get all that? even Jesus was tempted. Let's turn the whole thing around and see her reaction.


http://libre.com.ph/features/love-notes/6057-married-woman-is-keeping-her-ex-lover

smh. a coworker of mine is 5 years my senior.
She is 27 with four kids and living with her common-law husband
but admitted that she and he had a heated argument in front of the
children because he caught her setting up a profile on matchmaker. SMH.

She saw nothing wrong with it and in fact wanted me to agree that she had
a right and that it was innocent because all she wanted to do was find HER ex
and do some cyber flirting.

O_o some women sef. 

some feel for other men but are too afraid to end it with their current beaus. I understand
the feeling and have been in that position but come on. What is the point? eventually
the *ish will hit the fan. If you are not happy try to work it out or leave!!

It is more common than we think and I have known a few people play match makers for their exes. I find that to be very sophomoric and childish but then again different strokes for different folks!

Jst tryn to help an old frnd out. Dnt read meanings into such absurd issues.
But on d oda hand dont totally ignore such cases knwin dat dey had history 2geda. U shud step up n proctect ur marriage she is ur wife

My friend, women are all with that crab called emotion. She's so concerned about him hooking up, do you think she'll like to see him starve sexually,NO. We're here talking about what may or may not happen, what about what have been happening now? Don't be surprise if you later find out that this lover boy has been banging your wife and she'll go to her grave with the secret. Your wife's is an interesting woman, like many here, she's tenured and control. There's always that desire in all of us to have something different. This lover boy has done everything imaginable sexually with your wife, things you'll never dreamed of doing with her,to many, its a trill, you can't compete and the guy knows it. All her insanity about this lover boy is just the death rattles of their intimate history. You're no MUGU my friend, they just think you're one. Its all on your shoulders and I wouldn't rule out DNA on the kids if you have one. Good luck
DON'T FORGET THE LOVER BOY WAS HER 1ST CHOICE, a dream that was interupted by families & others.

help

I wonder why people like bringing their personal issues on NL where the chances of getting thw wrong advice is bigger than that of getting the right one.
@OP jave you tried talking to her and expressing your fears?