ln a grand scheme of relationship issues, it may seem though a pile of dirty dishes or a room full of clutter are not important. However, conflict over mess can often put a serious strain on a relationship. Do you guys agree with me? and if so would you leave or significant other because he or she is a messy slobb or a neat freak?

I would not leave my husband because of him being a neat freak or a slob. That's something I should have picked up whilst dating, not after marriage.

What you say is quite true. Differences like that, albeit petty, really can put a strain on your relationship. It would take working together to come to a middle ground when it comes to things like these.

I am a slob. Everybody that knows me knows that. I would rather be celibate and sleep on the roof of my house than live with a woman who can't tolerate that. Heck, I can't even go on a simple date with such a person. I can't work in the same office with such a person.

I can't stand people who make a big deal over "trivial" things. I'm a super-slob.

seun you are right in that you know u are a slob, lol okay i bet we all know people that obsess over keeping things pristine at all times. my friend was a superduper messy slob , but do keep things clean but not tidy nor organized. l have found my self cleaning after him so many times after nagging , suggestions and hints to clean sure enough it does fall on deaf ear.

I can tolerate been untidy but not dirty.

I guess i'm a slob too

Seun:

I am a slob. Everybody that knows me knows that. I would rather be celibate and sleep on the roof of my house than live with a woman who can't tolerate that. Heck, I can't even go on a simple date with such a person. I can't work in the same office with such a person.

I can't stand people who make a big deal over "trivial" things. I'm a super-slob.

relationship 101 - the woman will put up with it in the hope she will change you when you get married.

ijebuman:

relationship 101 - the woman will put up with it in the hope she will change you when you get married.

word

Slobs??hmmmm. I kind of happen to be, well, not exactly "a neat freak", though people tend to think I am but i believe everybody should mantain some degree of clealiness. They don't have to be a neat freaks, though I wouldn't hold it against them if they are I for one can not stand being around slobs, they bring out the very worst in me, they really do.I've lived with 3 boys so I know what i'm talking about.
So if I have a sloby husby,honestly, e go hard ooo!!! But then being my husband for better for worse,that would be a cross I'd be willing to carry. I can/will/might tolorate some degree of "slobiness" but i'll plead(in all 3 Nigerian langs if need be) with him and help him to keep his habits in check and in turn I'lll try to be pateint as he adjusts. We'll have fights, no denying that fact, but i guess after numerous fights, we'll learn to get along and respect "each other's" wishes. (by each other's i mean MY! )

I am in between the two and I tell you, these two people can be annoying. i.e. Neat Freak and Slob. My younger sister is a neat freak and tooooo organised. The moment you enter her room, she'll already be telling you where not to step, what not to touch, etc. If you don't leave it that way, she will nag you a lot. And you know what I do to her? I go to scatter her room deliberately. I will get on her well-laid bed and jump on it! Jump,jump,jump!!

On the other hand, my younger brother is a slob. I'm like Arrrgh! Can't you even clean your own toilet? Are you irritated by your very own sh*t? I used to help him clean his room before but I stopped because he is unappreciative. The fact that you helped him clean doesn't mean he won't still rain abuses on you. And he won't co-operate. If you say, don't go in because the floor is still wet, he won't answer, he would say "So I should not pass again because the floor is wet?" Imagine!

So you see both neat freaks and slobs are annoying. 

ocho in regards to what said , am sure most of us fall somewhere between those two extremes. people say that you don't really know someone untill you live together and l sure believe it's true.


Ok another question: WHAT MAKES A PERSON MESSY OR NEAT?
Do you think how aperson is raised determines a large part of how messy or clean he or she will be as an adult?

those that are neat freaks or excessive neat-freaks are "obsessive-compulsive" peeps, in the medical terms. It is a mental disorder. Osama Bin Laden was one of such peeps, as a student.

On the other hand, dirty people have a different kind of problem too. I forgot the medical term.

they are 2-extremes, fingers are not equal, but in marriage, man, one has to shine his/her eyes wellu wellu.

You can't call neat freaks "obsessive compulsive". If you find yourself living with a super-slob before you know it you would be behaving exactly like a neat freak.

Onyibaby:

Ok another question: WHAT MAKES A PERSON MESSY OR NEAT?
Do you think how aperson is raised determines a large part of how messy or clean he or she will be as an adult?

Onyi, from what I wrote you should see that how a person is raised has nothing to with it. These two children were raised by the same mother. One turned out to be a slob and the other turned out to be a neat freak.

kimba:

those that are neat freaks or excessive neat-freaks are "obsessive-compulsive" peeps, in the medical terms. It is a mental disorder. Osama Bin Laden was one of such peeps, as a student.

On the other hand, dirty people have a different kind of problem too. I forgot the medical term.

they are 2-extremes, fingers are not equal, but in marriage, man, one has to shine his/her eyes wellu wellu.

Hmm, I don't know about the disorder but one thing I've noticed is that neat freaks are usually very very stingy and the slobs are usually careless with their things. They misplace their things easily.

Well, I misplace things a bit easily but I'm also very careful about how I (don't) spend my money. I have been known to grumble and go into a week-long depression because I can't account for some 200 naira. I don't think you can stereotype people that way; each person is different.

(Scratches head) Whats a slob?

For the sake of this thread, a slob is someone who is really untidy.

Onyibaby:

Ok another question: WHAT MAKES A PERSON MESSY OR NEAT?
Do you think how aperson is raised determines a large part of how messy or clean he or she will be as an adult?

I totally agre with IAH,I highly doubt if the way or even environment a person was raised in determines whether or not they'll be untidy. Personally,i think it's more of a personal choice than it is anything else.
And about the slobs being careless @IAH, I happen to know someone like that, more reasons why i can't stand them (some of them)
oh, I really should pray about/for my future husband.

Why don't you pray for yourself instead? Ask God to give you more tolerance!

I guess both.

Hey! I'm feeling lucky here. I am an extremist when it comes to neatness. I mean I cannot tolerate any cockroach in my house. And I am so lucky my wife competes with me to keep the house clean. Her neatness atrracted me in the first place. We have fun cleaning the house daily. We comb the whole house from the kitchen to the parlour and to the rooms. Infact, you can actually have your meals in my toilet. No jokes. It was a habit that I cultivated when I was very young. I was the sanitary prefect in my high school days. I can't stand a dirty environment. One reason I would not live in places like Aba, Onitsha and possibly Lagos.

Well, if you cannot tolerate your spouse when you are still dating, no need to get married because chances are you will never change the person. Its either your spouse changes b4 you get married or you forget it.

Absolutely wiseguy. lf confidence is the key to finding a partner, then compromise is critcal once you have one.

I tell y'all. I might not say anything to the slob but
when i get to tidy up the mess, it speaks volumes
and they're the ones that will usally complain.
I know of a girl who will take offence cause i always
make the bed before we go out.
It drives her crazy, can you beat that? She sometime
feels i want to bring another girl after she leaves. Isnt that
absurd? Girls don't just know how to fold a wrapper
properly or make a bed. No offence meant.

I am a cross between the two.Although i lean more towards being a neat freak.I arrange things from tallest to shortest and their labels must face me.I also cant stand putting my feet on the floor(any floor),new carpet,sterilsed, whichever.Just cannot do it!.the thought alone makes me shudder.At other times however i just let myself go,slob out a bit.My boo on the other hand does not understand why i feel the need to clean up soo often.Sometimes i think my room is in a state and he thinks its too neat,he is an utter slob and i would love to marry him so theres no pressure on me!

But he wil always be under pressure. Yikes. Well, as long as you go about it respectfully, all should be well. I.e. you express your neat-freakness as a need you have an not as an absolute moral imperative that your husband must bow to.

i dont like slobs,so if i most date a man he must be 70 % tidy at least.

both are

Interesting, i'm really bored out of my brain, i'm just going through old posts.

I can't stand slobs, they make sharing a space very hard. I can totally live with a neat freak--all well and good, we won't have problems. Let's see, where am i? i'll like to think i'm balanced, but i really lean heavily towards the neat-freak, and i don't have to worry about my future husband, we're just the same.

Aren't you lucky!