he shouldn't get into the relationship if he doesn't want to get married so the lady would go and find sum1 older or da same age dat is ready, this is da advantage of guyz dating older women esp. if they know they won't be ready for marriage by da time da lady is, delay is dangerous dat is 4 da lady :p

@Uchesco
ur story looks like one of those Love-stories these ray-power people read out every night and then ask for contributions from listeners,

my answer: Age doesnt matter, if they love each other, let them go ahead.

the age difference betwen the two of them is not that much of a cap, i feel the real issue is the guy not wanting to commit, we have all been in love and am sure we know that nothing can stop two people who are in love.

aint nuthing wrong

why is it that most ladies are saying that [b]"age is just a number and if they are in love they should go ahead and marry."[/b]

there are a lot of things to age. guys this babe is four full years older than the guy it really matters.
the babe cannnot wait. even though the guy gets a good job doesnt mean he can get married btw two years.

it takes a lot to enter in to marrieage.

my advice is that the guy should let the lady go since she still has suitors. and become good freinds.

by the grace of God she will get a guy who is of her age or older.

if age is just a number y are there so many things atttached to it.

Ma guy free the babe and let her go.

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@ poster, please come and give us an update about how it eventually played. I guess the guy should be about 29 years old now.
I wonder what happened to the two of them. Did L (the guy) eventually marry T (the girl) cos the 2 years has passed now?!!

Hi people!

Longest time no hear! My sincere. Apologies for not providing the details of the story...I actually lost touch with the two friends.

But I met Tunde yesterday thru Facebook...he is married but to another lady!

he said he didn't marry L again because after the two years, a lot of things had happened. She had a serious bobo then, he had also met new people and their lives were taking different paths...

In his words" L had joined a one man foreign business and I was working for a corporate multinational... In the course of her work, She had met many big business guys who were interested in marrying her so I decided to cut my losses and move on. In addition, I had met other babes too and I realized that I should move on... Eventually I met another girl, who also loves me so much(at least that's what she says)and I decided to settle with her... So help me God!

But guess what, L is not married. She is 38 now, and has become a prayer warrior at one of the popular Pentecostal churches... It hurts my heart every time I talk to her as I sometimes think I am the one who made her not to marry. However she disagrees, saying that she had dated several guys after me, so she wasn't waiting for me really..... It's only that she didn't meet anyone worth settling down with, but I don't know....


Ma people, na so the story be o! Do u think he is the one responsible?

If the guy really love the girl he should go ahead and marry her, what is he waiting for, a graduate n his of age, abi to marry dey fear am?

and so what??
I didn't read the post but I comments following
the topic,

they said "age is an issue of mind over matter, if you don't mind it doesn't matter."

I

Thanks for the insight...

By theway, are you sure one of the reasons why your fiance agreed to marry you is not because of your... dick of life?

When I saw this story, the first question that came to my mind was that this girl was too good to be true

Then I saw the quoted part below and I laughed I knew she was lying

uchesco: Hi all
Just thot i should send an update on whats been hapening on the above story....

.Suprisingly SHE refused!!

According to her, while she loves him and is ready to marry him, she didn't want to commit herself to him... AND wait for two years, not knowing if he'll meet any fine young woman and abandon her, while she chases away potential suitors.... She has instead suggested that they leave it to God and if they are both still single after 2 years.... then who knows......

And here was the truth

uchesco: !
he said he didn't marry L again because after the two years, a lot of things had happened. She had a serious bobo then, h

She had another serious Bobo then. She was just giving him story that if they were both single after two years mtcheww

I honestly can understand that regardless of the love the man might have for the woman, it will be difficult for him to settle down when he is not yet ready. Love shouldn't contradict common sense. However, there is a place for the girl if the love is that genuine. The guy could agree to engage the girl until he is finally ready for marriage. This could take place for years. This way, the woman can be secure and the man not coaxed into early marriage.
Modified. ***
Didn't check to see it was an old post

If he was 30 and she was 26 wouldn't they get married if they're in love? Why does it matter if it's the other way around?

Hmmmm. .. Ur inconsistencies in jumping from T to Tunde and back to T almost created complexity, notwithstanding, the issue was well understood. Age they say is no barrier for lovers of nowadays who knows what they want. Age is no determinant in choosing a life partner if there's love but still, what part of the world do we live in? Africa, Nigeria! Sometimes, age counts... Did u say 4? Hmmmmm. One thing is, your friend might not be ready yet due to financial buoyancy and the girl's age isn't reducing, she's adding and growing older, hence the need to get married early. Yorubas will say:ile obinrin kin pe su meaning women grow old quickly. The girl no doubt would age faster than your friend, marriage isn't about now, but future. Will your friend be comfortable having someone older than him as his wife and still love her same way he does now in the next 30 yrs? He needs to reexamine himself and answer some real questions personally. I for one can't marry who's older than me even though I'm dating one older. So, your friend needs weigh his chances, love, passion now and imagine in far future, how will things really look then. Future is more important than now and anything we do now directly or indirectly affects the future.

There's no but to it. Either they're in love or they're not.

I don't even like guys that are four years older self....

This thread kicked-off in 2006 and died.

Got resuscitated briefly 8 years after in September 2014 to be precise , it slept off until it got a tap in September 2015

Don't you feel it right to nickname this thread 'Abiku' ?

Abi what do you suggest?

An abiku indeed

Seun:
Uchesco, this is a JAMB Question:
- She loves him, he loves her.
- She respects him as a man, he respects her as a woman.
- They both agree that they are compatible.
- She's 30, he's 26, so they are both old enough for marriage.
- She's a graduate, he's a graduate, so they can flow.
This is the best thing I've read on Nairaland. Totally Brilliant

So what else is he looking for? Does your friend have any idea how hard it is to find a woman you can feel that way about? And he's ready to throw that away for no tangible reason? I think he needs twelve stokes of cane to wake him up. This idea of not being ready for marriage when a good woman is there is really annoying to me. What's your friend's problem?

This is the Best Thing iv read on Nairaland.

Greatpeter:
Uchesco pls tell your friend if he allows this opportunity to slip away he might not find it.
It will be like a treasure thrown into the ocean.

Mine is a little different from this. I was still in school (final year). i am from an average family. My father was a principal in one secondary school but this lady of mine came from a well to do family and she wanted us to get married after graduation so i declined because no hope of getting a job.
She promised her parents will do all we needed but I still declined then she moved on. What a caring lady she was. She is happily married today and she is a wife material, I've not yet seen a complete lady like her. Though we still chat on phone of i know her hus and he knows me.

Learn! learn!! You don't need millions to get married. Ask why I'm not married yet?
Definitely not because of money but the fear of getting who really loves you for who you are.
But if I hook one today, Nairaland party don dey sele be dat o o o.
The ball is in your friend's court. But my advice "Do not let her slip away.

This is Awesome advice

CalabarMan:
U c h e s c o Wrote:, he is actually 25 while L is 29, and is still unemployed...I took him up on the age thing,and he said his parents are not in favour of him marrying an older woman... (Thats expected) but i'm sure the issue is that he is still not ready for marriage, because of the lack of money, and basics mentioned by Calabarman and GreatPeter.......

Seun I hope you have noted the reasons above. When young people talk about marriage they have this romantic notion that love solves all problems, in reality it doesn't, it strengthens the relationship quite alright but other basic things could tear it apart if not taken into consideration.

I have lots of married friends and colleagues who converted their GirlFriends to Wife without managing the transition process properly some are having real serious problems now and cann't imagine how a very loving and caring babe has now become a very demanding and unreasonable person. When they were dating the guys were spalshing money around and giving the impression that they were loaded, now married the spare cash has dwindled as cost has gone up. I have often told them that a simple solution is to sit down with their wife open up their payslip and do a cash flow analysis, let her know how much you are earning and how the money is being spent and what spare cash is available for other projects. Once you bring her into the planning process she would automatically mellow down  and would even assist them in cutting cost in certain areas. Some have taken my advice others have skeleton in their cupboards (girlfriends/concubines) and can't do this.

Yes explaining how much you make is very important. The Truth is marriage is not the time to discuss financial situation , it is best to do so while still dating, that's why dating a friend is so important you pretend less and begin to solve problems as a team so by the time you get married your already a team