very good post[img]http://2.s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=E6E6E5/txt=E6E6E5/border=E6E6E5/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]
[img]http://s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=E6E6E5/txt=E6E6E5/border=E6E6E5/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]

mirob:

I'm not contemplating suicide but this life could be frustrating at times, imagine someone graduating from the university since 2008 without a job,no means of livelihood,no husband, no fiancee, hearing people's success stories everyday but have nothing successful to say about your life,yet you still have people that expects to feed from you, after all they are not your parents and they saw you thru school, you have to pay back one way or the other, not knowing the way forward for some people that are not strong willed could lead to committing suicide.

I have a friend who aside all you just said above except actually graduating in 2006 with a very good result and has obtained professional qualification in her field, is yet to find a job aside the joke during NYSC yet not even Dangote has a more positive attitude than she's got! It depends on what/who u choose to listen to and those u hang around with. You cant lead a mundane life and expect to draw from inner strength during tough times when you're literally empty. Life is not a playground, we all need an anchor for the inevitable storms it presents and the first misstep is always an anchor called a human being! Seek true strength in God.

Mac u re right to get to a suicidal point u may ve lost ur faith because u may have cried and cried and God may seem so far away at that point. In my own case I was told by church pple and even my Mom that by divorce I was a sinner destined for hell and God hates divorce so he will never forgive me. I had zero esteem, I had been beaten to a state of brianlessness. Hmmm, after the second time God intervened to discourage me I knew I had to go back and seek Gods face. Then I started reading and studying d Bible and that was when I stopped doing church and started a real relationship with God. I read about Gods stand on divorce and adultery, marriage etc and I realised dat a lot of what I was told were lies. I also read about Gods love for me, about trials and temptation and most importantly I learnt about Gods timing and his perfect ways, I learnt how God can turn a rejected stone into a center of attraction and blessing to all. Am sorry to say must of us are just religious not Christains, we don't love pple as Christ commanded, we gossip we judge and we scorn, we make pple feel worse about themselves and proceed to judge them. We live in constant denial of obvious ills in our society all hiding and misquoting Bible scriptures. Someone told me that God will prefer me to die married than get a divorce be alive and be destined for hell

^^^ Very touching i must say, but like i said, it depends on who you listen to and what you listen to. The bottomline still is 'God', when you get to understand and live for him, you'lld actually cease from all the needless struggles and self inflicted pain.

I don't think Nigerians are so much into this suicide business
I would rather kill myself than commit suicide

@Mirob
Your sorrows shall be turned into Joy dearie.
Whoever knows who knows who in Naija offices should help out, let us help Mirob get a job. It's not a good place to be in several years after graduating from school. Mirob you should also be open to self employment too like starting small scale business for a start and growing it out to large scale. I have seen some students that use their IT or NYSC salary to start something small. If God makes it possible and you get hold of a little capital you can start something and not keep waiting for job, our population is so outrageous now that jobs hardly gets round. I'm believing God to provide for you dear ----all that your heart needs too.

Whoever is going through unpleasant circumstances should hold on and be strong, blessings and help may just be around the corner for you. Don't take your life. Life is beautiful. It's wonderful to breathe in the air and behold the exotic things of nature that abounds around us. We get wrapped up with life that we sometimes don't even appreciate these things. Life is good, let's live and love. Alleluiah!

ITbomb:

I don't think Nigerians are so much into this suicide business
I would rather kill myself than commit suicide

Are you freaking kidding me?
Right now and right here in the thread there's no place for talks of one killing oneself or committing suicide,
if there's really an equation that unbalances the two. Now run along and allow the faint-hearted to be encouraged.

life is not easy at all. . .when u tried your best and your isn't good enough then depression sets in then suicide is direct option 2 some folks. . .

Feels sad 2 those who lost their lives via suicide.

Prayers and believing in God is the only way.

Do not 4get the song 'High' by Lighthouse Family.

@mac, nice thread.

I've also been very depressed and almost suicidal at a point in life. For me, it was a result of many different negative circumstances. Poor finances(No job) + Sexual Frustation(Long term Long distance relationship with no end in sight) + Consistent disappointment from "friends". I definitely did think about suicide a lot but never really had a plan to carry it out. What helped me carry on was the support and love of my immediate family. I was in a far away land so the only things that kept me going was the phone calls I received from home. Of course i never told them i was depressed or anything but they just knew about my circumstances and offered words of encouragement and that made a lot of difference.

Right now, my circumstances have changed and improved significantly so I am not suicidal anymore though I still feel a little depressed from time to time. I dread those days and I am fearful of the future and how I would react if circumstances change again (God forbid).

my friend has everything, a bentley, a successfull buissiness, a very nice and beautifull wife and two sons, travells all over the world on holidays. but still!! he tried to commit suicide three times!! why? i said to him i am not rich like him but, i am gratefull to be alive. he has had a lot of the best counselling, which is no problem because he is rich he can afford the best,but still wants to kill himself, although he complains that his dad was an alcoholic, but i say to him you are not like your dad!! can any one help him?

Kai, Thiefofhearts, you nor even allow Sefago land before sticking your pointed spiked boots in

freecocoa:

I'm not sure anything will ever make me contemplate suicide,I just don't get why people do it.

Chronic depression and other poor mental health issues which contributes to this is not something that can be turned on and off at whim, it is as a result of chemical imbalances in the brain.

maclatunji:

Purplelady, I agree that religion can play a key role in preventing one from doing the abominable deed as it  happened in your case. However, I am of the opinion that most suicidal people have given-up on religion. Hence, they may not be willing to talk to you truthfully if you approach them with an overtly religious approach.

I think you can emphasize religion with them after they have gotten-out of their worst spell. This is a complex problem and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Each case should be seen and addressed uniquely with the aim being to help a seriously vulnerable person cope with life.

Pray for them individually (by yourself)  but only  pray with them if they want you to. At the stage they have reached mentally, you want to reason with them not argue against them. Over time, they should be able to drop some of their more unrealistic ideas and opinions by themselves. Then you can guide them to 'safer ground' with their consent, God-willing.

Easy now, purplelady only used "pray" i.e. "she prays" whilst addressing the poster pmpt, solely as a colloquail expression, not as a one-size-fit-all substitute as you have wrongly concluded, hence reason she was stressing more on the importance of getting help via therapy, et al  

oti-igba:

my friend has everything, a bentley, a successfull buissiness, a very nice and beautifull wife and two sons,  travells all over the world on holidays. but still!! he tried to commit suicide three times!! why? i said to him i am not rich like him but, i am gratefull to be alive. he has had a lot of the best counselling, which is no problem because he is rich he can afford the best,but still wants to kill himself, although he complains that his dad was an alcoholic, but i say to him you are not like your dad!! can any one help him?

It would shock you to know how many of the walking wounded men and women and children are the results of having a bad father in life. Children think all they should get from their parents, most especially Dads are unconditional love, so it sets many over the edge that the one role model they could look up to in life is not perfect, and is either a wifebeater, an alchoholic, a deadbeat dad, an absentee dad, etc, so this creates many self esteem issues later on in life and is used as a wrong foundation and template to relate to others, and from there it is not uncommon to start thinnking unhealthily that if your Dad/Mum could mess up, other people too could easily do this, so one starts being wary, not selffulfilled, discontented, etc and then the never ending slippery slopes of all mother of self destruction rollercoaster ride commences. . .

when i was young, i knew a very nice young kid of 14 years old who commited suicide till today i still cant understand why, at the age of 14? what could be the problem? apart from eat, sleep and shit  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f05hXr0_50Q&feature=related

@busy body. i thought that mentall health and depression is genetic, just curious

Nice thread bro.
But Nigerians never believe anyone could take his/her own life until we started reading it on the newspaper and the internet.

1st thing that make people think about suicide as their 1st option is DEPRESSION.

I was once in this kind of situation when there I had nothing, living illegally in a foreign land with no money,no house,no cloth,not even paasport let alone visa,lol.I mean what one can call abject poverty.Any time I remember this trying period in my life,I shed little tears and thank God.At this trying period in my,I prayed to God to take away my life if it'll be to cover my poor a$$.
But I never thought of killing myself or taking my own life.But never afraid to do the extreme so that I might die by mistakes.
But yet I keep living.
Suddenly God just showed up in my life,and gave me almost everything I lacked in  my life.Now I am proud of myself with what I have here and what I have back home.
Mo dupe Olorun.

But there are many circumstances in life that could make people think of suicide as the best available option.But if one thinks very deep about everything in life,we will all agree that suicide should not and must not be the next action taken by any right minded human being.
I pray that God shows mercy to everyone that might be depressed or lacking something in their lifes that make them think of suicide as their next action.
May Almighty God wipe away all our tears and bring abundant happiness into our daily lives.

Most ppl dnt know what it means for someone to be depressed & it is a hard time going through it. Having finished school since 2006, my service dragged on for 3 long years before serving in 2009. It took d grace of God & my immediate family to hang on those years cos no one believed I went to school. Yeah, if u went, why didnt u serve? I took risks, travelled down east at every little news at heard, accosted by thieves at some point & even lost my travelling bag containing my original school documents since i was going for another clearance. At this point I sat down in the middle of nowhere, without shame & cried like a baby in front of the other travellers. I could only ask but one thunderous question; What am I living for? It takes love, true love from my family & by family I mean my immediate family to keep me sane for a while till I serve 2 years ago. Ive not gotten a job till date, the one I managed to get months ago came to an abrupt end when thieves robbed us at broad day light, stealing everything & we were told to stop work. Since then, nothing. Ive been trying my best to see if I can involve in lil events planning, a lil buying & selling too to keep body & soul together. My life as an introvert & shy person doesnt help me most times cos I confine myself & all i think about is how to end it all. I once came to nairaland to seek for genuine friends atleast people to talk to once in a while but all d men wanted more so i went back into my shell. My friend in germany recently got a franchise to sell their number 1 diapers brand in nigeria & he told me about it, to atleast keep me busy & earn a lil pay too. Its really nice, affordable too & comes in 3 sizes. If anyone wants it, for personal, sales or distribution purposes, feel free to contact me on 08097493503, 08037905118 or bb 22edb723, Amy!

@Busy_Body, I knew where PurpleLady was coming from, I just wanted to expand on the prayer angle based on the view that many people hold that religion should be at the fore of any therapy to be employed with suicidal people. I appreciate your comments though.

oti-igba:

@busy body. i thought that mentall health and depression is genetic, just curious

Nah, we only think like that in Nigeria. its more of a nuture thing, than nature. We are what we "know" most of the time, hence the reason if our parents are not heading down the right part, we might think we have no choice than to toe the line too, or we think our parents are too poor and have no hope and are not well connected, so our own future is doomed too.

We all have different strength of character, hence reason when we see people suffering, all that selfishly comes to mind is "what have you seen, what are you going through, snap out of it, etc" unbeknown to us that we are not all cut from the same cloth and don't all have the capacity to endure pain the same way.

Saying this though, Mothers especially when pregnant needs to be very careful when pregnant because the baby inside the womb is susceptible to getting the chemicals in the Mum's body, and if Mum is suffering from depression or anxiety, can pass this on to their offspring.

Just thinking; if there is a better life at the other end why sit put there when you can't find any reason to? I know someone would cry; if you do it you go to hell. That sounds like it for we Christians, but if I prefer hell to my situation then, what reason do I have to stay back? I guess it falls back to going to the other side which we all believe is better. For the atheist would tell me that there is nothing out there it is just a "numb" state I guess as numb as before we were given birth to. Then I believe being numb to everything is better off than feeling this bad. But after this whole thought I realized I was just being self centered and I asked myself if my life really revolve just around me? The answer is no, there are people who still love and cares for me my family more especially. The thought of the look on my mother's face if I do a thing like that is enough to knock me back to my senses, not that of friends and siblings. To everyone out there contemplating suicide please think twice; life is not just about you not like the West lives it, it is all about every other person including you. You have to think about the pains you are about to cause other just by taking your life.

As a final note I advice you all watch this;


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IWtxLhniC4

makky:

Most ppl dnt know what it means for someone to be depressed & it is a hard time going through it. Having finished school since 2006, my service dragged on for 3 long years before serving in 2009. It took d grace of God & my immediate family to hang on those years cos no one believed I went to school. Yeah, if u went, why didnt u serve? I took risks, travelled down east at every little news at heard, accosted by thieves at some point & even lost my travelling bag containing my original school documents since i was going for another clearance. At this point I sat down in the middle of nowhere, without shame & cried like a baby in front of the other travellers. I could only ask but one thunderous question; What am I living for? It takes love, true love from my family & by family I mean my immediate family to keep me sane for a while till I serve 2 years ago. Ive not gotten a job till date, the one I managed to get months ago came to an abrupt end when thieves robbed us at broad day light, stealing everything & we were told to stop work. Since then, nothing. Ive been trying my best to see if I can involve in lil events planning, a lil buying & selling too to keep body & soul together. My life as an introvert & shy person doesnt help me most times cos I confine myself & all i think about is how to end it all. I once came to nairaland to seek for genuine friends atleast people to talk to once in a while but all d men wanted more so i went back into my shell. My friend in germany recently got a franchise to sell their number 1 diapers brand in nigeria & he told me about it, to atleast keep me busy & earn a lil pay too. Its really nice, affordable too & comes in 3 sizes. If anyone wants it, for personal, sales or distribution purposes, feel free to contact me on 08097493503, 08037905118 or bb 22edb723,  Amy!

Help this big, bold and beautiful lady by buying the diapers (I hope they are of good quality though). Amy, nice one ehn!

maclatunji:

@Busy_Body, I knew where PurpleLady was coming from, I just wanted to expand on the prayer angle based on the view that many people hold that religion should be at the fore of any therapy to be employed with suicidal people. I appreciate your comments though.

i would not have said anything, but it is easy for others to wrongly latch onto the tail end of the stick and run away with it and might attribute it to that being what purplelady actually said. . .and I bet you know what these grossly intolerant anti-religious they-know-best folks are like.

@makky I will be your friend if you want. You can contact me at okeado@yahoo.co.uk

When man is in trouble, he either goes religious, philosophical or commits suicide.

chaircover:

@makky I will be your friend if you want. You can contact me at okeado@yahoo.co.uk

Can I also be your friend?
How do I get in touch?

He that has a why to live can survive with anything

oti-igba:

my friend has everything, a bentley, a successfull buissiness, a very nice and beautifull wife and two sons,  travells all over the world on holidays. but still!! he tried to commit suicide three times!! why? i said to him i am not rich like him but, i am gratefull to be alive. he has had a lot of the best counselling, which is no problem because he is rich he can afford the best,but still wants to kill himself, although he complains that his dad was an alcoholic, but i say to him you are not like your dad!! can any one help him?

I think your friend feels empty irrespective of all he has achieved. I know his wife has a key role to play in his life. He probably feels that she and everybody else don't love him for whom he is but what he has. She needs to wake him in the middle of the night  and tell him that she just wants him to know that she truly loves him and her life and that of her children would be truly miserable without him even if he left them with all the money in the world.

If she has not done this already, she needs to take some criticism. She should have cried-out her eyes in front of him in the middle of the night by now to let him know she would feel worthless if he killed himself #Seriously

He that has a why to live can survive with anything

The video is the story of young lady whom in spite of her situation,

My secret-the diagnosis


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IWtxLhniC4


I pray this saves a soul!

RECURRING SUICIDE CASES IN NIGERIA.

http://nationalmirroronline.net/law-and-justice/law-justices-news/18153.html

ITbomb:

I don't think Nigerians are so much into this suicide business
I would rather kill myself than commit suicide

Pray tell how suicide is different from killing oneself?

I've made up my mind dat if after graduating from school and gets no job within 6 months and c dat am broke, am justified 2 die cos i can't bear the shame of being poor and depending on people. Imagine wat i c on the streets, people wid no money, no respect infact ie no life cos a dead man is better than you.

oti-igba:

my friend has everything, a bentley, a successfull buissiness, a very nice and beautifull wife and two sons,  travells all over the world on holidays. but still!! he tried to commit suicide three times!! why? i said to him i am not rich like him but, i am gratefull to be alive. he has had a lot of the best counselling, which is no problem because he is rich he can afford the best,but still wants to kill himself, although he complains that his dad was an alcoholic, but i say to him you are not like your dad!! can any one help him?

I guess the problem will be from his wife.Maybe you should try and talk him out of this problem for a good solution.
Life is good.

May God strengthen us all.

Movingcoil:

I've made up my mind dat if after graduating from school and gets no job within 6 months and c dat am broke, am justified 2 die cos i can't bear the shame of being poor and depending on people. Imagine wat i c on the streets, people wid no money, no respect infact ie no life cos a dead man is better than you.

My dear we sometimes go through tough times to make us stronger. Even the job you get, who is to say that you wont face challenges in it?

I know its very easy to say, but do you know that disspointments are sometimes blessings in disguise. Your not finding a job may be what you need to catapult yourself into being a successful business man and an employer of labour yourself.

Jaybee yes you can be my friend too.