solomon111:

@wislet
Thanks !
I think I would do as you say.
@pendo
well,you can't begin to imagine what it means for me to be at loggerhead with my father.
Trust me,it's not pleasant!
@all
Thanks for your contribution.
Its been enlightening!

O di mma.
Biko, ihe o bula i na-emela, enupukwala Nna gi isi.
O nwere ihe o ji gwa gi otu ahu.
N'aka nke ozo, emela ngwangwa n'ihe gbasara olulu nwanyi.
Were nwanyo, ma lezie anya nke oma ka i gara ibe mmakwara. Luo ezigbo nwanyi nwere agwa oma.
Cheta na ibu okpara. Na Ezi na ulo nna gi ga-adi mma echi bukwa ma nwanyi iluru o ga-abu agu ohia ma o bu onye nwere obi oma.

Udo diri gi ooo

sexkillz:

^^^
What he needs is subsidy removal from his life!

The babe don occupy his heart.

dimbright link=topic=841910.msg9924967#msg9924967. date=1326101527]
abeg make una live d guy to brag about his good grades personally i find it inspiring.
@poster, do u want to marry this girl cos u love her or as gratitude for wat she did for u? Cos to me it sounds like d later. Marrying a gal out of gratitude not love is equivalent to marrying a gal cos she is having your baby and such marriages don't usually last.
As for your fada wanting u 2 marry an igbo gal, Last tym i checked d woman lives her place to d mans place not d oda way round, weda u marry ibo or yoruba, u will stil be a delta boy.
I dont think u love ds gal, i think u are just grateful, in your own words if u dont marry her 'guilt' and and not sadness or heartbreak will kill u.
U and not your fada will live with d woman u marry so follow your heart when u want to marry not his tribal sentiments.
[/quote]


^^^ best comment so far


[quote author=Wislet:

O di mma.
Biko, ihe o bula i na-emela, enupukwala Nna gi isi.
O nwere ihe o ji gwa gi otu ahu.
N'aka nke ozo, emela ngwangwa n'ihe gbasara olulu nwanyi.
Were nwanyo, ma lezie anya nke oma ka i gara ibe mmakwara. Luo ezigbo nwanyi nwere agwa oma.
Cheta na ibu okpara. Na Ezi na ulo nna gi ga-adi mma echi bukwa ma nwanyi iluru o ga-abu agu ohia ma o bu onye nwere obi oma.

Udo diri gi ooo

^^^ Come on speak English.

You are an engineer so you are supposed to be able to weight risk appropriately and in turn apply it to make informed decision.

^^^
I never knew UNILAG was offering degree courses in women engineering

solomon111:

I'm  really confused right now.
I am the first born in a family of 5,and my father has warned me not to get romantically involved with any woman outside the delta-igbo, or other igbo groups.We are delta-Igbos.
I happen to be a chemical engineer,and on a masters degree scholarship to study at Oxford,sponsored by shell,as I am a first class graduate(The best graduating engineering student in my uni actually).I have this yoruba lady whom I have been dating right through the university,and
she has actually been the pillar behind my academic success as she encouraged me to take my studies dilligently,even when I was busy partying away on campus.
She singlehandedly bought me a West-african Engineering competition form for #20,000,in which I actually did well &  came out as the second best engineering student in West-africa with a price reward of €30,000.
I have actually wanted to propose to her,but I Can't due to my father's threat of dis- owning me.
I am scheduled to go to England this year,and she has been longing for me to make the relationship more concrete.
Now, i have other Igbo female friends who are equally beautiful,intelligent and sweet,which I could fall in love with easily,but I dont want to hurt her.
Should I call my father's bluff?(I am dead,if I try this),or should I break up with her?(guilt would kill me!).
I respect my father alot,but i also love my woman!

call your father's bluff!

i am very certain your daddy did not marry who his parents wanted him to marry in his prime as well.
you are independent and yet you cower like a little child because of your father.
how old are you? man the f@ck up and marry the woman you feel worthy of you.

Mynd_44:

^^^
I never knew UNILAG was offering degree courses in women engineering

He has two lingering scenario weighing on his mind so the best thing he can do is weight the risk of whichever action he decides on and offcorse chose the one with the lowest risk.

I can understand your GF being the deep blue see cos her punny might be deep but that will mean calling your dad a (no be me talk am oooo)

jay bee:

He has two lingering scenario weighing on his mind so the best thing he can do is weight the risk of whichever action he decides on and offcorse chose the one with the lowest risk.

Thats scary considering this is a marriage and he needs to go in with a fully made up mind,not a 20:80 situation.
In my view life decisions are a major risk and therefore if we choose to make them we must be ready to bear the full risk not half or quarter.
That gives weight/commitment to the decision.

Am just wondering which is worse.Going against parents wishes or denying yourself the freedom of choice as a grown up man.
Its good for a man to posess the ability to make a critical decision and bear the consequences or else he becomes a slave to the whistle blower.
Its also good to obey ones parents but one good book also warns these parents not to provoke their kids to wrath.

Using your Pareto's analogy pendo, he still has to determine which ratio will provide him with the best return/satisfaction.

Would he as a grown up man continue going to his dad to choose his bride for him or would he rather just follow is heart as most well informed people do.
Would he continue dating the girl knowing fully well the family has reservations and potentially can provid them problems in the future?

If we all believe the general saying that love conquers all then it's a simple decision for him to go with the girl as long as he ain't doing so because of the guilt he had be dealing with if he didn't.

IMO, parents should only be there to give blessings not to be a determinant factor when choosing a bride as they won't be their 24/7 throughout the marriage

jay bee:

Using your Pareto's analogy pendo, he still has to determine which ratio will provide him with the best return/satisfaction.

Would he as a grown up man continue going to his dad to choose his bride for him or would he rather just follow is heart as most well informed people do.
Would he continue dating the girl knowing fully well the family has reservations and potentially can provid them problems in the future?

If we all believe the general saying that love conquers all then it's a simple decision for him to go with the girl as long as he ain't doing so because of the guilt he had be dealing with if he didn't.

IMO, parents should only be there to give blessings not to be a determinant factor when choosing a bride as they won't be their 24/7 throughout the marriage

the op is a child.
i am sure he would still seek his father's advice on the best s[i]e[/i]xual position to get his wife pregnant.

^^^^^^
For real?

coogar:

the op is a child.
i am sure he would still seek his father's advice on the best s[i]e[/i]xual position to get his wife pregnant.

Well his dad does have more experience in tha. He might just as which position created him. Except you can prove that his father's blood does not flow in him

jay bee:

Using your Pareto's analogy pendo, he still has to determine which ratio will provide him with the best return/satisfaction.

Would he as a grown up man continue going to his dad to choose his bride for him or would he rather just follow is heart as most well informed people do.
Would he continue dating the girl knowing fully well the family has reservations and potentially can provid them problems in the future?

If we all believe the general saying that love conquers all then it's a simple decision for him to go with the girl as long as he ain't doing so because of the guilt he had be dealing with if he didn't.

IMO, parents should only be there to give blessings not to be a determinant factor when choosing a bride as they won't be their 24/7 throughout the marriage

lol at best return.Sounds economic.
But do you expect anything less than 100% when choosing a partner? Weaknesses aside,we expect the best.100% commitment,love with no room for doubts.
If we are seeking a biz contract that would be okay coz it can be reviewed,but this is a supposedly life contract

But I like and agree with what u say. Nobody wants disrepect their parents but I just cant understand why some parents seem trapped in old mentality.
Here is a smart son of theirs ready to conquer the world.Instead of letting him explore what is good for himself they cave him instead making him feel guilty.
I have discovered that a good no academically smart people have trouble making relationship decisions.I think much is expected out of them and they want to obtain Masters and PHDs in relationships as well.
Its just not fair. Wish he had a sober uncle to make the parents change their minds cz its true if u let parents choose the bride/groom,chances are they will run ur marriage as well and u cant blame them.
How old are u op by the way.

Life commitment needs even greater scrutiny hence the birth of prenup et al

yep.

@ solomon, make the right decision. Do not listen to any bad advice- from here or anywhere.
Use the wisdom God has given you. No one else will live ur future, but you.

@jaybee
I am 25 actually.My dad has been over-protective of me right from my boyhood days.I think it is due to the fact that i'm the only male child he has.
I have told him countless times that I can make my own decisions,but he would end up telling me that he knows what is best for me.
He is a very disciplined man and he expects his children to respect him.That was the way we were brought up.
I think I know what to do.

Una dey here dey blog for romance section when naija dey on fire? Una serious so?

ARE YOU NOT A MAN?
IF ABRAHAM HAD CONSULTED WITH EVERYONE INCLUDING HIS WIFE SARAH ABOUT GOD'S DEMAND FOR HIM TO SACRIFICE HIS ONLY SON, U THINK SAY SALLAH FOR DEY?
MARRY HER. TRIBE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING RELATING TO LOVE.
KEYWORD: BE YOUR OWN MAN

^ ^ yea. AND THE SAME ABRAHAM GOT A WIFE FOR HIS SON FROM AMONG HIS OWN KINSMEN.

@ OP, I repeat, do not make any rash decision.
What if this woman is not meant for you?
Hope u have done de test I gave.
U know what? Why dont u leave everything about relationship for now. Just have an Alone time. No girls/distractions. Clear ur mind of any worry. Go out more with ur male friends. Dont pick calls from her if that will becloud your clear thinking. with time, you will find out if she is indeed top priority for u/you can do without her.

Do not play sentimentality in this.

Wislet:

^ ^ yea. AND THE SAME ABRAHAM GOT A WIFE FOR HIS SON FROM AMONG HIS OWN KINSMEN.

get back to the kitchen

.

OK2NV:

get back to the kitchen

hehehehe, honey

Thanks wislet!
I have actually dedicated a week to carry out the test you recommended.
I am confident of making a headway in this situation.

good.
And pls Daddy has a very good reason why he wants u to do it 'inside'. Hopefully u will make de right decision after ur one week.

Got some other things u shd know dat'll help u, but I think this is enough for u to make a sound decision(if u're wise).

Wislet:

good.
And pls Daddy has a very good reason why he wants u to do it 'inside'. Hopefully u will make de right decision after your one week.

Got some other things u shd know dat'll help u, but I think this is enough for u to make a sound decision(if u're wise).

What decision? it's not that simple o

Wigato:

What decision? it's not that simple o

It is.
If he removes every form of sentiment, and does de test with all sincerity.

in relationship matters:


family disapproves of partner 

boyfriend is flipflopping and saying its his father whereas he himself is the one not really convinced 


i have to agree with wislet's advice when all is said and done.


Dont know if the girlfriend will "wo gau" if this relationship continues.


just my opinion, not set in stone.

Wait you are travelling out, Do you plan to take the girl with you or you just want to be abroad husband?

If you are not taking her with you just leave her for Boys in lagos and dont commit her , cos Toto subsidy don make the thing scarce small.

Ask your dad if his parents chose your mom for him or gave him rules regarding whom to marry and if he followed the rules

But you are an engineer? You should solve this easily, Use Runge Kutta method of numerical analysis