so i had an argument with a friend on this issue and decided to bring it up on here.
My friends says there's always a favourite child and i say 'not in all cases' basing my argument and example on my family and the fact that i didnt see any sign of favouritism while growing up and still havent till now.
What do you think?
Does it makes sense to have a favourite amongst your children?
What are its positives and negatives?

Who are these witches concerning themselves with other people's children?

Go and fixate on your own or is it by force to open thread.

Let's not deceive ourselves. Each parent always has a favorite child. However, the reasons for liking one child just a LITTLE bit more than the rest vary. Sometimes, a child behaves or looks just like the mum or dad. Sometimes, the favorite child is the first child, the brainiest child or the most responsible. Occasionally, the favorite child might be the most athletic or the most outgoing.

I am my Mum's favorite because we share a LOT of similar traits like generosity to the point of foolishness, outgoing character, last-minute planning, quick tempers and strong empathy for others. My younger sister is probably brainier than I am but she is kinda stingy like my Dad and she is the family introvert (she was my Dad's favorite when he was alive). My other siblings are little teenagers and are completely irrelevant because we the adults don't really think too much about them unless its time to buy them clothes/shoes/electronic gadgets and pay their boarding school fees!  They came MUCH later and they have never really fit into our adult world.

tpia@:

Who are these witches concerning themselves with other people's children?

Go and fixate on your own or is it by force to open thread.

hello??
Did something snap up there?
Do you need help?
The health section is there for you.
All it'll take is just a click.
You'll be alright.okay?
I await your testimony.

^^witches and b!tches like you are irritating.

like i said, go and chew up your own kids or is it possible you type here out of frustration.

of course after lapping up your vomit as you showed in food section.

I do not have a favourite child. My kids are all different and have different needs. Some simply need more attention but that does not mean you love the child more. Sometimes one has to be careful with kids because kids can be real sensitive and feel that they are not as loved as the other child.

@Tpia I've asked you to fill me on this witch thing so I go know people to avoid here abeg,I nefa wan die.



@OP,yeah some parents have favorites amongst their kids,I'm a typical example of that.

My dad doesn't joke with me till tomorrow,it caused a lot of trouble when my siblings and I were much younger,at times it even causes a little brouhahaha between my parents,I don't know how possible it is for a kid to be favorite for both parents but my siblings sometimes accused our mum of loving me more too but she always denied it saying"I love you all equal" though I noticed she had a certain way of handling me,she just never admitted it.

I knew I was(is) the special one for my dad as he doesn't even try to hide it,he says it without mincing words,often using me as an example of a perfect child when scolding my siblings.

As a kid who was very introverted,I clung to my dad a lot distancing myself from my siblings,I only played with them(especially my bro) on few occasions, then it seemed like they hated me but my mum like the wise woman she was did her best to salvage the situation.

As I grew older I saw the danger playing daddy's girl was doing to my relationship with my siblings and started to get closer to my siblings,I thank God for my mum who played a great role in that.

My dad is a very loving man who loves all his kids but he just can't help showing a special type of affection when it comes to me,the funny thing about it is that I'm even the most stubborn out of all my siblings.

I don't advice any parent to show favoritism cos believe me it can spoil something,it almost did in my family.

Just wondering how a mother would have a favourite amongst her children.

ronkebp:

Just wondering how a mother would have a favourite amongst her children.

Perfectly possible and somewhat understandable sometimes
I'm supposed to be the fav simply because i'm the only boy as well as being the last with six elder sisters.

ronkebp:

Just wondering how a mother would have a favourite amongst her children.

Most of the time it is not deliberate and it is subconscious. It may happen because of the way each child responds to the parent. Let's face it, children love their parents in varying degrees and for different reasons. Belief it or not, you will love a particular child more than the rest. However, you MUST be fair at all times irrespective of that love you have.

People seem not to understand the importance and meaning of the word 'Duty' anymore. Summary is:

You cannot love your children equally, but you have a DUTY to treat them fairly and equitably!

jay bee:

Perfectly possible and somewhat understandable sometimes
I'm supposed to be the fav simply because i'm the only boy as well as being the last with six elder sisters. 

Really? I never knew you were yarning true last time. You're in a similar position to my brother then. I even used to suspect my brother was the favourite once upon a time due to the reasons you listed but I discovered otherwise.

maclatunji:

You cannot love your children equally, but you have a DUTY to treat them fairly and equitably!

I've always understood that parents love their children differently but isn't possible that the strength of the love they have for each child could be "equal" (for some parents at least).

^You mean you discovered you are the favourite or your brother is actually an alien from outer space

maclatunji:

^You mean you discovered you are the favourite or your brother is actually an alien from outer space

B) my brother is actually an alien from outer space

emöfine:

Really? I never knew you were yarning true last time. You're in a similar position to my brother then. I even used to suspect my brother was the favourite once upon a time due to the reasons you listed but I discovered otherwise.

Yes ohhhhh
Kinda suck though cos growing up I never had someone to play with and the few friends i had at the time weren't allowed to visit.
So many things that happened in the past that i wished i had a brother to talk to who might have been able to guide me accordingly.
Anyhoo, iI'msure momma still proud of me so nothing do me

jay bee:

Yes ohhhhh
Kinda suck though cos growing up I never had someone to play with and the few friends i had at the time weren't allowed to visit.
So many things that happened in the past that i wished i had a brother to talk to who might have been able to guide me accordingly.
Anyhoo, iI'msure momma still proud of me so nothing do me

I get what you mean. I even wanted a brother for my brother when I was younger (and to neutralize the female presence).
Funnily enough my brother never cared for an additional brother. Who needs brothers when you have six loving sisters eh

emöfine:

I get what you mean. I even wanted a brother for my brother when I was younger (and to neutralize the female presence).
Funnily enough my brother never cared for an additional brother. Who needs brothers when you have six loving sisters eh

Nice spin, but sisters aren't known to be good at tutoring when it comes to getting the first girl, getting your first sampling et al

From my own experience, l will conclude that Parents absolutely do have a favorite child.

Like someone said, as good Parent has to "play it down" so as not to cause friction between siblings.

Favorite child is not always the "best child" in terms of brilliance, beauty, athleticism or any of the "positive points" we think about, it could just be that he/she "strikes a chord" in the parent's heart!

For example, growing up, l was stubborn, daring and very adventurous, maybe thats what my Parents like about me but it sure got me into a lot of trouble. Me and my Mum are always at loggerheads even though we could not do without each other for a minute!

She can go to any length for me and l would die for her but like Tom & Jerry, you need to see us argue every day!

Out of my children, my second son seems to be my favorite! (I will never admit it to his face or let his other siblings know this ).

He is not the most handsome or most brilliant of my children but somehow, l just see myself in him!.

Every time l look at him, l see myself "at his age", just like replaying a film!
And when he does some naughty things, l will just smile and ruse to myself "if no be say l don see/do that thing before, l for show you Pepper"!

The thing is to try to "achieve a balance" that would not upset the other kids, the family as a whole  and would not be a "burden" on that favorite child him/herself.

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lastpage:

From my own experience, l will conclude that Parents absolutely do have a favorite child.

Like someone said, as good Parent has to "play it down" so as not to cause friction between siblings.

Favorite child is not always the "best child" in terms of brilliance, beauty, athleticism or any of the "positive points" we think about, it could just be that he/she "strikes a chord" in the parent's heart!

For example, growing up, l was stubborn, daring and very adventurous, maybe thats what my Parents like about me but it sure got me into a lot of trouble. Me and my Mum are always at loggerheads even though we could not do without each other for a minute!

She can go to any length for me and l would die for her but like Tom & Jerry, you need to see us argue every day!

Out of my children, my second son seems to be my favorite! (I will never admit it to his face or let his other siblings know this ).

He is not the most handsome or most brilliant of my children but somehow, l just see myself in him!.

Every time l look at him, l see myself "at his age", just like replaying a film!
And when he does some naughty things, l will just smile and ruse to myself "if no be say l don see/do that thing before, l for show you Pepper"!

The thing is to try to "achieve a balance" that would not upset the other kids, the family as a whole and would not be a "burden" on that favorite child him/herself.

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EL CLASSICO!

tpia@:

Who are these witches concerning themselves with other people's children?

Go and fixate on your own or is it by force to open thread.

@ poster, I believe that there is and will continue to be a favorite child. Most parents understand the implication of making it obvious they are always conscious of their action not to draw undue attention towards the child or wound others emotional and psychologically. My parents have never treated any of us differently, but we once triked my dad into confessing who his favorite was and reason for that. You might be surprise reasons while parents pick favorites. My mum till date is yet to give it out. She would put a straight face and see "u all are my favorites". I guess she was just being a dutch politician.

In the eyes of my mum, her only son can do no wrong,

hw do u expect a mother to love a child dat understands her and d one that don't understand her equally, a child dat comes first in class and a child dat repeat a class equally, a child dat gives and a stingy child equally, a cheerful child and d one dat likes been alone equally, an obedient child and disobidient child equally, a child dat reason with parent and the one that don't equally. D truth of d matter is dat, it's nt possible because they don't share the same character.

lastpage:

l just see myself in him!.

Every time l look at him, l see myself "at his age", just like replaying a film!
And when he does some naughty things, l will just smile and ruse to myself "if no be say l don see/do that thing before, l for show you Pepper"!

My mum often told me she saw herself in me,I guess that was why she excused most of the things I did as a child,especially being very stubborn,I can swear that sometimes when I do something that's supposed to get her angry,she just smiles and shakes her head. Though she never admitted I was her favorite. I can't seem to understand why my dad is very affectionate towards me that he doesn't even care whose ox is gored while at it.

gendebs:

hw do u expect a mother to love a child dat understands her and d one that don't understand her equally, a child dat comes first in class and a child dat repeat a class equally, a child dat gives and a stingy child equally, a cheerful child and d one dat likes been alone equally, an obedient child and disobidient child equally, a child dat reason with parent and the one that don't equally. D truth of d matter is dat, it's nt possible because they don't share the same character.

Are you trying to say they love the goody goody child more? If so then I'll boldly tell you that's not true cos my elder sister is like a dove,very obedient,kind,cheerful etc but she gets no special treatment,I'm like really stubborn,like being by myself,often didn't cooperate with them as kids but had so much attention and was really pampered by my dad.

There is always a favorite.Even in the bible there are some references to that e.g Joseph the dreamer

I knew i was the favourite child , and they openly showed me that, My mum did when she was here, even though we fought a lot, my dad , does that a lot, i used to get whatever i want, he will tell people ' i wish she was a boy., she is so much like me' i sometimes get the toughest  punishments  ,then i use to  hate it but now i realised it was for my own good,only annoying part is he tends to forget i am no longer a child , my aunt too. Despite the fact that everyone knew i was the fave, it never caused friction,for they all knew why and we all lived as one.

maybe i havent been quite discerning enough as regards this issue in my own family.i have tried to look into it and i still havent found anything that has given any of my sibling or me away as a favourite both with dad and mum.
They treat everyone of us the same way,mete out punishments as at when deserved the same way and care a lot if an ant as much as bite any of us.
We all get whatever reasonable thing we want as at when due too.
Every child seems to be a specially loved child in his/her own way in my family.
Maybe i'm just not seeing what y'all are seeing.

OUR CREATOR ADMIRES US INDIVIDUALLY BASED ON OUR DIFFERENCES NOT OUR SIMILARITIES.
THERE SHOULD BE NO FAVOURITE BUT CHILDREN DIFFER INTHEIR NEEDS.

There's always a fav child 4 each parent, 4rm my careful observation, i've noticed that fathers luv their first daughters more, whilst mothers luv their first sons more; may not be 100%, but 9 times outta 10, i've found that 2 b true.

slimyem:

maybe i havent been quite discerning enough as regards this issue in my own family.i have tried to look into it and i still havent found anything that has given any of my sibling or me away as a favourite both with dad and mum.
They treat everyone of us the same way,mete out punishments as at when deserved the same way and care a lot if an ant as much as bite any of us.
We all get whatever reasonable thing we want as at when due too.
Every child seems to be a specially loved child in his/her own way in my family.
Maybe i'm just not seeing what y'all are seeing.

It's mostly conspicuous where there are more benefits or somethings are at stake.I havent talked with my sister in 8 years since she knew i'm my parent favourite.I felt my parent made mistake letting my siblings to know their special love for me which is threatening the bond within the children now.So you may never notice until your parent do you a big favour that others do not get.