this is a very sensitive topic, and what you are looking for is an advice if to still stick with your girl or let go. all you need to do is answer some of my question and if the yes is more than the no then i think you should stick with her. do you love her ?, do you trust or believe her judgement of things, are you comfortable with her parent way of life?, whats is her way of life, i mean do you think she is a promiscuous, ?  if your answer is yes please dont let her go, pray about it and always open up a communication channel for both of you so that any challenges you are facing,  you both sit down and talk about it and look or agree on a way forward.

Kaykad

this is a very sensitive topic, and what you are looking for is an advice if to still stick with your girl or let go. all you need to do is answer some of my question and if the yes is more than the no then i think you should stick with her. do you love her ?, do you trust or believe her judgement of things, are you comfortable with her parent way of life?, whats is her way of life, i mean do you think she is a promiscuous, ?  if your answer is yes please dont let her go, pray about it and always open up a communication channel for both of you so that any challenges you are facing,  you both sit down and talk about it and look or agree on a way forward.

Kaykad

this is a very sensitive topic, and what you are looking for is an advice if to still stick with your girl or let go. all you need to do is answer some of my question and if the yes is more than the no then i think you should stick with her. do you love her ?, do you trust or believe her judgement of things, are you comfortable with her parent way of life?, whats is her way of life, i mean do you think she is a promiscuous, ?  if your answer is yes please dont let her go, pray about it and always open up a communication channel for both of you so that any challenges you are facing,  you both sit down and talk about it and look or agree on a way forward.

Kaykad

@Poster Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee move on. Never be a third wheel. This is your happiness at stake, u will find many many other women much better than her

Dirac:

@Poster Pleaseeeee move on. Never be a third wheel. This is your happiness at stake, u will find many many other women much better than her

Simple and straightforward! If she cant comply with what you want, then you got to find another gal. You can only ve one captain on a ship!

@Cottonx, STRAIGHT ADVICE AND THE ONLY STEP LEFT FOR U TO TAKE. When ur arrived to Nigeria, tell ur wife that u need to address these issues with man one on one knowingly that ur wife may inform the man, it only going to make it better coz these is the only way he ll giv u your respect. Moreover the man ll be curious & scared.
 2) Call the man yourself and say that u most see him for a very important issue and u guys need to sit one on one to talk about it. plz when u are doing these ur most consider not your wife to job or anything but yourself alone these time.
3) If nothing change after-all, and u still want that lady. I ll advice the to invite the man wife over and tell her everything. But it u think that ur wife to be will continue such act even with another man.I ll say to u"  LEAVE THAT LADY ". It is more better now to figure it out now before marriage.

Just as u said.these is my first time to comment on any trend in NL, I rather prefer to read the posted trends and people comment with wisdom and meditate on them all.
I most say that u hav take much from  those pple, it is time for u to take ur stand as a man. I really feel for u coz I know that u are suffering emotionally. Feel free to talk to me when ever u need someone to talk to.

Boy, you are only a photocopy of which you don't have value as far as what you are into. Listen, he just wants to have you wed her but the man will father the babies that will be coming.At a point, you will be eliminated and become history. This is a planned something and they needed to make use of you and waste you.

I know you are just after what the lady has as you are not productive and wants t be a free loader. They buy you a car, give you bugger to eat and sleep as a baby which is what you are. Al Pacino said, if you want to get the world, you get the money. If you want to get the woman, you get the money and when you get the money, women will look for you.

Go and be independent and stop licking a woman's Bottom nigger.

I think you should not have brought this issue here, cause you are reading advice from people you don't know you or your fiancee, talk less care less if you ended up happy or sad! So for me thread with caution, follow your heart, sit and talk, just know that it never gets better after marriage( my sister used to tell me), this is as good as it is gonna get, and if it is not good enough then,

I see alot of peeeps advicing you to talk to the man what for? you will only make him more important. Your biz is with your woman. Just because she opened up to you does not mean you should lose your mind and begin to act irrational by going to have a silly man to man talk with the man. What if you have never seen him and she told you about him will you start seeking him out? Why not talk to her about how you feel. guage her response, watch her actions most importantly watch how she behaves on phone with him and when she is with him. If you are still uncomfortable tell her. Lastly if you feel so uncomfortable let her go no one should have to play detective in a rship.

@andromida: Abi ooo you do not have any business with the guy, talk to your girl and sort things out,

@Poster The man controls 50% of her financial life and u sit there saying its obvious he has some sort of control on her? Just permit me to say 'Oriokpe'. Let me lay out d facts 4 u.

A woman that cheats with a married man has a 75% chance of cheating in future. It might not be same person.
I don't like doing this but I have to go with d statistics on ground. If ur gf is yoruba there is a 82% chance that she'll cheat although this doesn't apply to all d yorubas save a few that have curses against cheating wives.
Your gf isnt 'born again' & from d sound of it u aren't either. If u both were then I would have said u both now have completely new lives, new mindsets new goals.
I don't subscribe to d school of tot that says we can't police who we want to marry or married to. Our traditional way is to let ur family know who u want to marry and they are 2 carry out investigations on ur behalf. They'll investigate d girls past, her family(hereditary problems, financial problems, marital problems etc). Only ur family can undertake dis for u in a non-attached manner. U cannot just wake up and say I wanna get married to this lady. Do d right thing.
U should know that there is no laziness in marriage, u can't look unkempt, or know d basics of marriage. U have 2 be at ur guard 24/7. The enemy is looking for ways to take away our happiness. Since red flags are raised now I'll suggest u get ur family involved right away b4 u make a mistake dat U'll have to live with 4 d rest of ur life.

^ family for what? Just cos she told u of her past u start humiliating her by telling ur family?? Na wa o. Rather than humiliate her leave her alone.

Dude, i will advice you to call it quit
you will get nothing good out of the relationship.
Dont 4get "A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE.
Trust will not exist in this kind of relationship.
The other man will never like you.
PLS DONT DIG YOUR OWN GRAVE. Their are other good girls that will respect and be faithful to you.
Take it all to God.
thanks.

why wouldn't he tell his family to carry out their traditional responsibility? This is Nigeria, Africa & we've had years of customs that is peculiar to us that has worked 4 us. All u need to do is tell ur family this is who u intend marrying and not spew her life history. Everyone has a history. It is dat history that will enable u make d right decision. As a man u weigh ur familys findings with that which u discreetly know & come 2 a conclusion. When we go back to our traditional ways we will see that women will be more careful in their actions.

poster_ol boy u funny no be small   wetin go make guy like u settle with babe wey u know say she get history with one "rich" guy who  still sees her, Ol boy,your babe is a sex partner to rich guy.Admit it or not.And anytime the man feels like remembering what she looks like when she is naked,all it takes is to summon her on phone and meet her at one cosy hotel/guest house, in AJAH or ABUJA or even Obudu cattle ranch.,, far away from prying eyes and that includes you.
Your babe told you she have no feelings for the man but dem still dey see STEADY heheheheheh,no doubt,but when it comes to "CASH" most porn actress and actors don't have feelings for one another,but they F, k the hell out of one another , for DA PAY.

You got two options, enjoy her "SPENDINGS"for you while it last and you turn a blind eye to her giving "her benficiary QUALITY TIME with her honey pot" afterall,you are benefiting too from the proceed,subsidy or no subsidy.
Option 2 , WALK AWAY and wish her well, As long as she is still in contact with the MONEY BAG, he will keep f, king her anytime he wants.
MONEY TALKS BULLSHIT WALKS.
Dpont mind those talking about "trust" o.

Dont marry this gal, u wil definitely suffer. She took u to her sugar daddy for approval!? Thats permanent consent for him to keep screwing her after the marriage, I ve seen that happen. Your gal is a sex slave to that man, leave her alone! The man could use African Insurance on you, since you know he is full of envy & jealousy. Goodluck!

There is this thing I have always noticed about women,


                they want to eat their cakes and have it,

The whole set-up is just not right. That first insult of taking you to the man for approval needs some explanation. I'd feel so little as a man!!

Stop making things hard for yourself - you saying you dont want to let go and you dont want her to let go of her business. One has to go and you have to make the decision and see if she agrees.

Dont do anything silly like talking to the man or his innocent wife. You dont have to destroy their family and look like a vengeful weakling. Just be a man, handle your ish and tell her the truth - U love her but as a result of their past, the business relationship can't work. It's either A or B, stop looking for C.

Not trying to preach but money is not everything.

Guy I'll give you an on point advice "that is not a woman you can live with" because if you marry her you are already considering a marriage with an option of break up as a result of infidelity. Please don't be fooled those two people will eat the forbidden fruit at the slightest opportunity which you can't be sure they are not doing at the moment as it appears from your post that you are just there to balance the equation. Don't go and endure your marriage it is meant to be enjoyed.

i want to know whether u ar in love with ur fiancee or the money she is making, bcus i can figure out where d relationship is heading to. if u love ur live n don't want to die b4 ur time, end d relationship n look 4 someone that can b faithful 2 u.

Hahahaha op, u remind me of a friend of ours now in Manchy who's fiancee was secretly 4ukin this rich married property tycoon who was her boss. Once d guy had a serious quarell wit d lady over his suspicion and said what he shouldnt have which she rewarded wit dirty slaps and a call to d boss, only 4 d boss man to come to d house and join up in beating d shiiit out of the guy after which they called the cops on him and cooked a story of him strangling the lady

He was still amazed on his court date where he got a conviction which cost him his job, it was much later she spat it in his face dat she'd been 4kin d boss all along. A secret so many people especially his friends knew.

Bros b sure u r safe o

Friend, I was in your shoes. What I didn't do was to chicken out. I made sure all my fears were addressed. I told her how much i dont want to see them together even though I knew she was sincere about leaving the guy. Now we are (VERY) happily married with kids.

You need to to be strong and act like a man. Its not manly to back out. You also dont have to do it by making her life miserable and giving her options that is unberable. If you do this, you will switch the coin when you marry; you will be happy while she will not be. Whatever you are going to do, make sure you do with utmost seriousness and love. you must not make yourself seem insecure. What if you break up with her and your next fiancee lives close to her ex? will you still back out? Tell her that seeing them together or mentioninig him is obnoxious to you. Its also good to call the man and let him know you know what he did and that you are not happy with him around her. Dont be afraid to let him know you dont like him at all and do everything to show it. If your fiancee really likes you, she will stick to you and will do anything to make sure you are comfortable. If not, it will be clear where she stands( I will however advice you express your dislike for him to your fiancee first before going on to tell him).

She may be sincere with not having or wanting anything with the man but she is putting herself in a vulnerable position. Asking her to leave the business may not be the best option but you have to do what you have to do for her to gain back your trust.

If you really love her, go all the way to have her.

^^^^^^^^ You have just made my day with your post GBIGBEGA, LET HIM BACK OUT NOW, after all, it is his life we are talking about here, if he does not have what it takes to hold his balls in his hands and take control of his relationship, too bad, he is running away from the contender, like i said earlier, you set the tone in your relationship, ''this is how i want it, and that is how it is going to be'', simple.

Now, if she refuses to comply, then it is a different story.

I see many people cruxify this woman because of her past. Somebody was open enough to tell you  her past and you want to destroy her future because of that? I think thats very wicked.

connox, I know its a difficult but put yourself in her shoe. You dated your colleague at work and your fiancee asks you to either loose your job or forget the relationship. You would have been more justified if she did it when you guys where dating but  from your story, it was before she met you. I advice you be a man and dont destroy what you have built. Like i earlier advised, Let them know how much you hate to see them together because of their past (that understandable). Let her reaction to that action direct you on what to do. If she is still trying to protect the guy then you can consider leaving her but if she is also trying her best to build the relationship, then  you know she is serious with you. I speak first hand.

Let him that has no sin cast the first stone.

Poster u know what, annoyance cant even allow me share my opinion , u are lucky to be far away from me i would have given one specie of slap known as OCCUPANCY or can u describe ur address for me lemi come n do d slapping to clear ur brain for u?. How could u be so dull to allow that kind of poo? Does that lady not have parents to screen u?
Well, i think
1. u are inexperienced
2. you  are not sharp
3. u are confused
4. or i suspect outside love u havent told us exactly what u are looking for in that girl_{maybe her doe}
else u shud have sat her down to talk Mano-amano or tote-atete to know if u will quit or stay if she chooses to continue to mingle wit d aged partner of hers all in d name of biz. u are about going into marriage and not bf/gf stuffs so think twice now to stand firm and take a decision as a man to save u future agony.

in short i de vex

The way people use the world 'love' oftten irritates me. Guy, you have to know that you come into their biz/sexual relationship, they didnt come to you. And its bad because your wife is getting emotional care from two men openly. So if you go ahead and marry her, dont complain in the future if you discover that either some, one or none of the children is yours.

This is what i keep saying, how can you eat your cake and still have it. How can a man setup your babe in business, sleep with her and approve of you and you are still there. What kind of man are you. How can you live with that thought knowing that the wife you marry has slept with the so called business partner and still sleeps with her how can you allow that. If they are still seeing then she isnt yours they will just turn you into a zombie and when you begin to prove heady they waste you.

Dont forget once a woman is sexed the bond remains unless you severe that bond which they are not ready to do. Forget that woman she is not yours move ahead.

It wuld not be out of place if i believe dis story to be a concocted charade configured by d poster himself.If d story is factual,then he is stil a pedeatric adult:a child wearing d clock and garb of an adult-a huge man wit little spirit.Poster u subjected  urself to intensive screening and rigorous interview by ur rival,and u are bold to say it.What kind of man are u?A man dat allows his emotion to becloud his sense of reasoning.U seem to be a confused man.Either u are desperate or u want d girl her wealth,or both.Can't u see d  foundation of such relationship is shaky.What shocker are giving d man when u hav inadvetently fallen to his whims and caprises.D man has no value for u.Imagine reporting u to ur so-called fiancee's mother.D man has possessed ur girl.They are both partners in business and in bed.And u are in nairaland dramatizing.Is there any future between  and ur girl.D future with such fraternization is foggy.Such question as" why are u complaining,are not aware of this business partnership before u went ahead and married me?Then,there wil more board dat wuld encroach into midnite as a result of business expansion and diversification.That time u wuld have become a mumu husband who wuld continually sulk over ur nebulous fate.As a löng as they are together,ur mind wuld not be at rest.And there also d tendency they wuld continue to be intimate.Also be prepared to  conduct DNA for any child dat arrives,in order wheat fro chaff.I dont talk finish.

As for my opinion. I can't be in such relationship. You will be played hard by two heads that have known each other long before you. Unless you dont care about it and not a jealous person and if you are open about other people having sex with your partner. In Yoruba "ONce debe is always debe". Too much risk if you are jealous and being human ofcourse this thing will happen again. Youw ont like it. Move on find someone else with better situation in place. You will get hooked and it may become too late. Now is good. Unless you dont give a f*ck.

Unless i'm a cheat myself. and dont care ; I wouldn't like to see that so called billionaire guy knowing he that strikingly rich too should be intimidating lol. Unless I'm doing his wife behind him though. I would just laugh behind , but from what I see you probably earning decent dough move on.

u are in a tight situation, and u have to be very careful wit every action u take, and most importantly u ave to be more prayerful and ask for God's guidance, peace bro