₦airaland Forum

Lionnation:
they want you to take their responsibility and reduce their inacial burden on them why they geed you with sex and claim they love you

is it advisable to chop and clean mouth

check my topic...and gist me ur story

Johnkay01:
Boss don post
I doff my hat

If I had practically follow your advice then I will not be in this dungeon.

I read most of your posts in reality every guy must know thread but i did not allow it to sink in to my head now I'm in shit that I can't undo for life.

My own is I be Captain save the hoe

sighhh....read my topic,what do u think is wrong

Ablesam171:
I don't have problems if my woman give he full attention to the seed i planted in her but you see the one planted by another man, I'll never tolerate it (wetin i dey talk sef, i can never knowinly date a single mother).
Do you know what a lion does to the cub (that is not his) of a lioness that he has chosen?

jojothaiv:
I so much like those who are trying to be exceptions in this matter , beautiful people I must say, good, real and intentional men and I pray that you all find a sweet loving single mothers to marry while we the remaining men find what we deserve too.

It's not a biggie after all

laugh am abeg

obaidan:

Arizoner:
i mean one yesterday. I was pained when she told me she's a single mom cos i liked her

Run ooo

ElevationD:
Sorry bro, in practice, it may not be as completely stated above.

There are single moms who hand over their children to the children’s fathers/her own parents/ophanages, etc, and go about their normal lives without looking back. In short, there are single ladies who do not care about their babies. The ones who only think about themselves

Shouldn't this send 'wayward' alarms through your head, i mean if she can abandon her child in search of a new start, what's to say she won't repeat her past, or maybe she's the secret olosho type, pretends she's just with you but she's with a 100men... Just take the lesson and use it well.

If you're very well of that you can marry two wives you can gamble marrying one, but if you're a struggling guy please pity yourself.

Kelvin247Gold:
Some of them became single mothers cos of the demise of their husbands.

^^^
Those ones are called widows. There is a difference.

Dpsychologist:
Let’s drop the sugarcoating and speak plain truth. Dating a single mother is not romance movie material. It’s real life. If you’re not built for it, you’ll suffer and she’ll suffer more. This isn’t hatred. It’s honesty.

I’ll keep it simple and relatable.

1. You will never come first. Ever.
If her child is sick and you’re having a bad day, guess who waits. You.
If school fees are due and you want a weekend getaway, plans are cancelled.
If you need to be number one in a woman’s life, this lane is not for you.

2. Her past is not theory. It’s active reality.
That baby didn’t fall from the sky. There is an ex somewhere.
Co parenting calls. Family ties. Old wounds.
If small jealousy already dey choke you, this situation will finish you.

3. Responsibility will find you, even if you run.
You say “I’m not the father.” Fine.
But wait till school resumes, rent is due, or hospital bills show up.
Reality doesn’t respect motivational quotes. Pressure will knock.

4. Her time is scheduled, not spontaneous.
You can’t just say “I’m outside” at 11pm.
You can’t randomly disappear and reappear.
Her life runs on routines. If you hate structure, you’ll feel trapped fast.

5. Emotional stress comes in bulk.
You’re not just dealing with her moods.
You’re dealing with a child’s emotions, an ex’s influence, and family opinions.
One small misunderstanding can turn into a full-blown crisis meeting.

6. Stability is not optional, it’s required.
Inconsistency is cute when you’re 22 and carefree.
With a single mom, it’s an instant red flag.
If you’re still “finding yourself,” please find yourself elsewhere.

7. You don’t gain what you think you gain.
She’s not there to build you.
She’s not there to fund you.
She’s not there to emotionally babysit you.
If sex is the main attraction, both of you are just passing time.

8. Manipulation can happen if you’re not sharp.
Some will gaslight you with “you knew I had a child” anytime accountability comes up.
Others will weaponize guilt.
If you’re emotionally weak, you’ll be confused and drained.

9. Society will talk and you’ll hear it.
Friends will whisper. Family will advise.
“You could have done better” will start ringing in your head.
If you’re easily influenced, pressure will push you out anyway.

10. Love alone is not enough here.
This setup needs patience, money, maturity, and thick skin.
If you don’t have at least three, you’re not ready.

Final truth:
If you can’t handle responsibility, structure, delayed gratification, emotional stress, and public judgment, don’t date a single mom. Not because she’s bad. But because you’re not ready.

And this applies beyond single mothers.
If you can’t handle real life complications, don’t date anyone seriously.

Dating is not sympathy work.
It’s readiness.

Be honest with yourself.
It will save you, and it will save her.


Google Image

Nice write up though I don’t agree with No. 1. Cos the same trait occurs when a woman is married and has child for her husband, if the child is sick, the child will always come first and not the man

alklas:
No be small tin back then
Any small tin mama go say come put mouth
Come suck it
Na cut chain run oooo

what if you love her?

sighhh......

Chukabiz:
If you want to know how deadly EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL can be, date a single mom.


And, they don't learn it. It comes naturally into them immediately they become single moms.

ALL OF THEM.

sighhhhh

greypencils:
Dating or marrying a single mum is a problem as long as the ex is alive. The ex had better be dead. Otherwise, my sister, the man who would put his head in that is flirting with raw pain from betrayal. It always comes. Always.

very anyhow people

Tenrack:
Oya go marry or date single mom then come back and testify please.

read my topic

Tenrack:
chai. We've all been there. Sorry about the ordeal. Abeg share your experience for other youngings to learn from it. We need to help other men make better decisions.

hmmmm u are wise

UrVillageChief:
So how’s this comparable to someone else’s children? When you scold or even beat your own biological children and your wife stops you or gets angry at you, you would surely not get offended/disrespected unlike if the children aren’t yours. In that case, you will feel powerless as a man because you will never be able to correct the children (she will accuse you of being hard on them because they aren’t yours)
If my wife prioritizes my kids over me, It will surely not be as painful as seeing her prioritize the children she had before over me.
We are not even talking about the other loads of baggage yet (the Ex husband) as he will always have the upper hand since you are just a mere caretaker.

Mistersolar:
read my topic

thanks bros

sweerychick:
If not for copy and paste, I would have bet my last breath you are talking outta experience, maybe I'm right.

There's nothing wrong dating a single mom, the bottom factor here is love, single moms ain't looking for fun, they are looking for real love, they're mature not ready for stories or waste their time with Fuuckboys. When she loves you all those things you wrote up there would be secondary, and yes they want you to love their child they way you claim to love them. It's a choice of responsibility when you date and marry a single mom.

Many of the single moms you're defending are not worth it. And the blanket conclusion that they're looking for love is untrue. What majority of them search for in man is mostly financial strengths. They really don't need love. Love won't feed their kids. Let's be realistic.

Arizoner:
what if you love her?

Can luv mek u use another as a sex toll?

When a woman marries newly, her attention is usually towards her husband. When she gives birth, a great portion of that attention shifts to her children. If the man who originally married her and took her attention at first was unable to keep her and she was unable to stay loyal to him, she may never give an equal attention to any other man. She may show affectional appreciations for kind gestures, financial and emotional supports but I tell you that these supports offered by the new man are his purchasing power for her affection. If the man stops giving these, then he may struggle a great deal in the marriage to the single mum.

The adverse love for tokumbo products has really great effect on men in choice of marriage also.

Leave tokumbo women, marry a single lady and build your own future from a foundation of your design and making and not dooming yourself to building what someone else started which may already be faulty.

One love

GloriousGbola:
most of this long rambling epistle applies to wives as well. once your wife has your children, they will take priority over you. just as your mother gave you priority over your father.

first time I'm seeing you comment with sense.
Be like this new year you go get sense by force

JobAndVacancies:
first time I'm seeing you comment with sense.
Be like this new year you go get sense by force

GloriousGbola:
hopefully people look at you the same way - as another person's mess that should be avoided

can you even read the way you are describing another human being?

If e reach ur turn, train ur ex children

Arizoner:
what if you love her?

I fear the way she hold my head down in between her legs
I get run before she suffocate me