I LEFT NAIJA LAST YEAR, LEAVING BEHIND MY GIRLFRIEND OF 6YRS NOW, WE GOT ENGAGED BEFORE I LEFT, THERE WAS NO MONEY FOR MARIAGE, THOUGH SHE WANTED TO RAISE THE MONEY WHICH I OBJECTED. SHE TOOK ME TO HER MOM AND DAD BEFORE I LEFT, BUT THE PROBLEM RIGHT NOW IS THAT HER PARENTS WANTS HER TO MARRY SOMEBODY ELSE, THE DAD ONCE SAID "OVER HIS DEAD BODY WILL SHE GET MARRIED TO ME" AND HER SISTERS WANT HER TO MARRY THAT PERSON,BUT SHE HAS REFUSED TO ACCEPT THEIR DECISION. SHE IS A WONDERFUL GIRL, LOVING AND A WIFE MATERIAL. HER PARENTS AND SISTERS ARE MAKING LIFE DIFFICULT FOR HER AS SHE IS BECOMING FRUSTRATED. DO U THINK WE CAN SUCCEED WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING?

i dnt c d relationship last

dacome:

i dnt c d relationship last

ARE U SERIOUS?

6 years! chei, some girls have suffered. Marry her or leave her alone. Her family is worried that you will just waste her time and when you are ready to marry, u will dump her. A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush.

blank:

6 years! chei, some girls have suffered. Marry her or leave her alone. Her family is worried that you will just waste her time and when you are ready to marry, u will dump her. A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush.

THANKS FOR UR OPINION SHA O, BUT JUST CURIOUS, ARE U MARRIED?

Yes i am. But just curious, why are you asking?

blank:

Yes i am. But just curious, why are you asking?

BECAUSE UR COMMENT LOOKS MORE LIKE THAT OF A SINGLE GIRL WHO IS SO DESPERATE OF GETTING MARRIED, FORGETTING THE ASPECT OF LOVE, WE'VE SEEN MANY PEOPLE RUSH INTO MARRIAGE AND RUSH OUT, I KNOW OF A FRIEND WHO DATED HIS WIFE FOR 15YRS, TODAY THEY HAPPILY MARRIED. DON'T GET ME WRONG O, I'M NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY 6YRS.

kennyeast:

BECAUSE UR COMMENT LOOKS MORE LIKE THAT OF A SINGLE GIRL WHO IS SO DESPERATE OF GETTING MARRIED, FORGETTING THE ASPECT OF LOVE, WE'VE SEEN MANY PEOPLE RUSH INTO MARRIAGE AND RUSH OUT, I KNOW OF A FRIEND WHO DATED HIS WIFE FOR 15YRS, TODAY THEY HAPPILY MARRIED. DON'T GET ME WRONG O, I'M NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY 6YRS.

Okay na . . . keep 'dating' her. Before you realize what is happeneing she will be preganant for another man. Dont marry her o, wait for 15years like your friend.

kennyeast:

BECAUSE UR COMMENT LOOKS MORE LIKE THAT OF A SINGLE GIRL WHO IS SO DESPERATE OF GETTING MARRIED, FORGETTING THE ASPECT OF LOVE, WE'VE SEEN MANY PEOPLE RUSH INTO MARRIAGE  AND RUSH OUT, I KNOW OF A FRIEND WHO DATED HIS WIFE FOR 15YRS, TODAY THEY HAPPILY MARRIED. DON'T GET ME WRONG O, I'M NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY 6YRS.

Yea, I also know of a man who dated a woman for 25yrs and later married her . The stories we come up with to prove a point.

Now I know why her family are against you marrying her, which woman dates a man for 6 yrs in this day and age?

@ poster, just listen to yourself. If the woman your uncle married was 18 years old when they started dating, so she will start having children at 33years when she is not TTCing? Na ur kind wey i dey pray commot from any of my family members. You are here asking silly questions. The only way to prove her parents wrong is to gather yourself and do the right thing for her. At least, for now, she still dey manage urside. Do u think you are the only one that sees her wifely qualities? Wait until monkey begin bear coconut.

So you call marrying after 6 yrs rushing in and rushing out? I don't blame you.

blank:

@ poster, just listen to yourself. If the woman your uncle married was 18 years old when they started dating, so she will start having children at 33years when she is not TTCing? Na ur kind wey i dey pray commot from any of my family members. You are here asking silly questions. The only way to prove her parents wrong is to gather yourself and do the right thing for her. At least, for now, she still dey manage urside. Do u think you are the only one that sees her wifely qualities? Wait until monkey begin bear coconut.

So you call marrying after 6 yrs rushing in and rushing out? I don't blame you.

typical of some naija girls, i ask a question u started a fight, i respond to ur fight in peace, u are breaking ur head, and u say u are married? lol, i pity the poor guy. so if u started dating a man when u were 18, for the fact that u don't want to stay with the man until u both are ready, u'll keep changing boyfriend every year or two huh? keep praying for ur family members o, u'll end up marrying them.

jennykadry:

Yea, I also know of a man who dated a woman for 25yrs and later married her . The stories we come up with to prove a point.

Now I know why her family are against you marrying her, which woman dates a man for 6 yrs in this day and age?

IT WILL BE UNFAIR FOR ME TO ASSUME THAT ALL THE LADIES ON THIS FORUM ARE DUMB, BECAUSE I KNOW OF SOME BRILLIANT ONES, I STATED VERY CLEAR THAT I WASN'T USING THAT TO JUSTIFY ANY REASON AND U STILL OPEN UR MOUTH TO SAY THIS RUBBISH, NOT UR FAULT.

kennyeast:

typical of some naija girls, i ask a question u started a fight[b], i respond to ur fight in peace[/b], u are breaking ur head, and u say u are married? lol, i pity the poor guy. so if u started dating a man when u were 18, for the fact that u don't want to stay with the man until u both are ready, u'll keep changing boyfriend every year or two huh? keep praying for ur family members o, u'll end up marrying them.

kennyeast:

BECAUSE UR COMMENT LOOKS MORE LIKE THAT OF A SINGLE GIRL WHO IS SO DESPERATE OF GETTING MARRIED, FORGETTING THE ASPECT OF LOVE, WE'VE SEEN MANY PEOPLE RUSH INTO MARRIAGE AND RUSH OUT, I KNOW OF A FRIEND WHO DATED HIS WIFE FOR 15YRS, TODAY THEY HAPPILY MARRIED. DON'T GET ME WRONG O, I'M NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY 6YRS.

Lol

chaircover:

@poster blank has a point. They may be worried that you wont come back for her. Maybe they have expeienced such in their family and are trying to play safe.

If you are serious about marrying her, and you are sure that you both love each other and have good enough reason to beleive that the marriage will work between you, then you can set the ball rolling by getting your parents to make your intentions known.
This is assuming that your girlfriends family dont have other serious reasons why they dont want their daughter to marry you apart from the fact that they are worried that you wont come back for her.

I DON'T SEE THAT AS THEIR REASON, FROM WHAT I KNOW FROM HER, THE MOM IS VERY MATERIALISTIC, SHE NEEDS SOMEONE WHO WILL BE THROWING GIFT ON HER SO SHE CAN BOAST TO HER FRIENDS AND THE DAD SAID HE HAS ALWAYS WANTED HER TO MARRY FROM THEIR TRIBE, SINCE OTHERS FAIL TO, AND HE ALSO FEELS I DON'T LOVE HER ENOUGH, THINKING OF SENDING THE MOM LIKE $10,000 NEXT MONTH AND A CAR FOR THE DAD,LOL JUST KIDDING O.

^^^^^^ I don't think it is all about the money thingy, maybe they see some qualities in you they don't like and think they would get or can get a better suitor for their daughter.

dacome:

i dnt c d relationship last

dont be too sure. When there is love and perseverance they could succeed. I know someone it happened to and they are now married. It remains the decision of both the couple. Parents or family can only try but can't influence the decision.

@poster,this is the reason why they cant allow you to marry their daughter-YOU ARE ARROGANT.
Imagine coming to seek for advice and the next thing you started bashing those who made their opinions known. If u dont like it you s@ut up. You need no advice,wait 4 more years and she will be there waiting for you.

Royal Roy:

@poster,this is the reason why they cant allow you to marry their daughter-YOU ARE ARROGANT.
Imagine coming to seek for advice and the next thing you started bashing those who made their opinions known. If u dont like it you s@ut up. You need no advice,wait 4 more years and she will be there waiting for you.

Hello, I am not crazy, I'v come to believe that crazy talking is part of the fun on nairaland, so I don't get angry when people insult me here, I only talk back, but on a serious note if the way those girls responded to my question, is how u respond to people who come to u for help, n u call it advice then u are not a good person, that is definitely not the way to sell ur opinion. I ask a simple question and didn't expect such attack, not from a lady.

drnoel:

dont be too sure. When there is love and perseverance they could succeed. I know someone it happened to and they are now married. It remains the decision of both the couple. Parents or family can only try but can't influence the decision.

Thank u for ur kind response, I believe the decision lies with us, I just wanted to see how others will handle the same situation if the were in my shoes . I cannot force a lady to wait for me. 6yrs is a lot , we didn't plan it that way, plan changes.

ronkebp:

^^^^^^ I don't think it is all about the money thingy, maybe they see some qualities in you they don't like and think they would get or can get a better suitor for their daughter.

Thank u very much for ur opinion, that is very possible .

kennyeast:

IT WILL BE UNFAIR FOR ME TO ASSUME THAT ALL THE LADIES ON THIS FORUM ARE DUMB, BECAUSE I KNOW OF SOME BRILLIANT ONES, I STATED VERY CLEAR THAT I WASN'T USING THAT TO JUSTIFY ANY REASON AND U STILL OPEN UR MOUTH TO SAY THIS RUBBISH, NOT UR FAULT.

When you saw my location what kind of advise were you expecting to get? You see who is the crazy one here?

Ehn we are dumb but we don't have issues with our in laws, none of us dated a man for 6 year because such men end up with expired deeks that no woman is looking forward to for the rest of her life, it gets very boring and dry you know.

Every Parent will be worried if their daughter had been dating for 6 years and No Introduction or formal ceremony has taken place. The dont hate you they are just watching out for thier daughters interest.
Secondly, I think you need to work on you attitude, its condescending, you posted you issue, people came to give you suggestions you proceeded to call married women and mothers "girls', be a little humble and willing to listen, sometimes people may not tell you what you want to hear but listen and filter, no need to be rude

@poster, why are you asking for advice? Do introduction first naaaaa! Why are you wasting the girl's time? 6yrs!!! Haba! Abegi oooo
If you wanted to marry her, you would have married her long ago! I dont blame her family one bit.
To proove they dont like you, carry Kola go dia house with your papa and mama, if dem drive you come back here for advice

it is better to have a bad wife than to have bad inlaws----------food for thot

ajalaolanr:

it is better to have a bad wife than to have bad inlaws----------food for thot

so because they are looking out for their daughter's welfare, instead of waiting for an Akatarian she dated for 6yrs, they are now bad in laws?
I bow for you o!

^^^LMAO @ akatarian . Tell them o Jare. My parents were like once you are past the age of 22, you have no business dating a man for more than 2yrs

@ op, d family members all can't be wrong. . . 1st u r arrogant, 2nd i dnt tink u really wanna marry her. U dnt need billions to marry her, she loves u and was even prepared to foot d marriage bill, y did u refuse? Abeg free d girl o jare  cz frm wt i can deduce, u dnt ve plans of comin back for her anytime soon nor sendin 4 ha to join u. Do u honestly want ha to grow old in ha popsy's house Love gbakwa oku

jennykadry:

^^^LMAO @ akatarian . Tell them o Jare. My parents were like once you are past the age of 22, you have no business dating a man for more than 2yrs

Yes my dear, I dated an Akatarian for 3yrs, wasted my time. Nobody told me anything,  I shined my eyes well well. arranged myself a homebased player, and I am pleasantly and happily married to him.

Moral of the story, Akatarian, if you really wanna marry her, send your family to her family with kolanut for primary assignment

@Poster, must u respond or rather react to all opinions given to u?, Why dont u choose some selected ones which may make sense to u.
Anyway, just be careful cos Long Distance Relationship hardly works.

get your people or senior friends involved. you can never handle this alone. the girls parents are acting on the stimulus you are generating. you do not sound like a ready husband. are you waiting for her to get to menopause before wedding? you are a born bachelor

Ajalaolanr has said it all.

IT better to have a BAD Wife than BAD inlaws. Your fate hangs on your inlaws and not your wife!, If you're lucky to have good inlaws, then the road is smooth for you, otherwise, Welcome to the Club of my friend!