othenok: She should stick to her hubby n ask ques. I have an aunt that was sent packing cos she ate chicken gizzard instead of giving it to her hubby Lol.

blank: What is the in-laws business in their family life? It is the husband puzzy i blame. How can you let your wife be held to ridicule? He should be covering her and standing his ground as head of his home. So they do family meeting and put the wife on the agenda and he will be ok with that? I jump and pass that kinda man.

drnoel:

wait till u get married na

blank:

I am married and he won't stand for such.

drnoel: Guys I saw this topic from a previous NL poster "Is It Disrespectful To Serve A Visitor With Just 1 Piece Of Meat" (link: https://www.nairaland.com/891691/it-disrespectful-serve-visitor-just) and decided I should maybe ask the opinion of the forum on this event that happened 2 a friend of my cousin. This said lady got married about 2years ago to her University hearthrob so the couple knew themselves well b4 they married. Though the lady in question was raised well (at least I think so) problem is that she can't seem 2 please her in-laws. The latest event that I am told broke the camels back was an issue that involved food (meat to be specific). From what I heard, there was an event within the extended family. She was supposed to give specific parts of the cow that was butchered to her husbands uncles, elder cousins and brothers but since she didn't know who gets which parts she mixed it all up. I am told her husbands elders brothers and cousins got really upset and took it for a sign of disrespect ("among her many other sins" so they said) and since then have been very mad with her. People, when I wedded last year, my people told me about this part of tradition but didn't stress how serious it can be taken and I used to think it was just formality till I heard about the case I mentioned. What advice would u give to the lady in question cos she is really broken? Can anyone shed more light on this part of tradition pls?

chaircover: The way I look at it is if you love me then you must love my dog

Many a time in-laws say that they love their son/daughter but dont think anything of hurting their son/daughters spouse. I have never been able to understand this concept.

blank: What is the in-laws business in their family life? It is the husband puzzy i blame. How can you let your wife be held to ridicule? He should be covering her and standing his ground as head of his home. So they do family meeting and put the wife on the agenda and he will be ok with that? I jump and pass that kinda man.

From what I heard, there was an event within the extended family. She was supposed to give specific parts of the cow that was butchered to her husbands uncles, elder cousins and brothers but since she didn't know who gets which parts she mixed it all up. I am told her husbands elders brothers and cousins got really upset and took it for a sign of disrespect

Fhemmmy:

How come the family that knows it all cant be the one to do the distribution since they are the one that are expert in how to distribute parts of an animal.

Fhemmmy:

May i ask what part of that animal would have gone to her husband?
How come the family that knows it all cant be the one to do the distribution since they are the one that are expert in how to distribute parts of an animal.
Besides, what is her husband saying in all these, cos it is what matters most.

blacklion: This is beginning to sound like Tales by Moonlight. A family meeting will be held in two months time to discuss what is at worst a minor infraction by a newly married wife due to ignorance or inexperience? These people get time on their hands

drnoel:
U know sometimes I understand why most white people don't care so much about family cos of all this minor complications that are turned to major ones.

blacklion:

Well, in my area, its the younger wives in the family (i.e the most recently married) that are expected to share food and meat at family occasions, younger men share and serve/pour drinks. Usually at such events, there are older wives and other female family members around the location who should be able to tell the younger wives who is entitled to what portion of meat.

drnoel:

Her hubby was initially upset with his family 4 giving his wife so much stress over what she didn't know.
When it finally downed on him that she was actually asked 2 distribute the stuff by one of his uncles that was against his wedding her (the uncle wanted him 2 marry the daughter of one of his rich business partners) he suspected foul-play. Then he told me one of his younger cousins overheard the said uncle gloating later 2 another uncle that this time they would make it so hard 4 her that his nephew will see how untrained she is, it was clear his wife was given the task cos they knew she would mess-up due to her inexperience.
I don't know what part of the animal her hubby was 2 get nor did her hubby know. Like I said he is the youngest of the brothers. The situation is tense now sha, but the hubby is very sympathetic with his wife but is saying nothing 2 his family. He told me he simply wants the stuff 2 blow over. The problem is, the extended family has told him formally that they would call him 2 discuss the issue in a few months and the couple is worried about what the uncles and elder brothers would request of his wife 2 make-up 4 the mix-up.