@OP

I admire your honesty. I'd much prefer to have someone around me who makes me a better person. Not someone who insists on lying to my face while agonizing about my looks in her heart.

what i believe is that as much as you re happy with him..stay with him forever coz guys are not smillimg out there....think twice....KONDO say sooo

Just strollin by.......

Baby girl, I think its better you leave him. You've been living a fake life 4 so long pretending to love him when the relationship didn't seem to be going anywhere, probably cos of some surface benefits. Now its about to get serious and that's when u wanna chicken out.

Here's an advice To all guys and ladies, any person that can't accept u d way u R and always wants to change u to fit their taste, is just a selfish Arrow who's not worth it, there R hundreds out there that wud luv u d way u R.
Spread your wings and FLY!

@ op

na i too fine, i too fine, na him make sarah never marry at 40 oh delay is dangerous. Better accept the proposal and advise him to go on a diet

If you want anythning said, ask a man, but if you want anyting done, ask a woman. If you cannot work on him, then i dont think you wil be able to make ur home stand irrespctve on who you get marry to.

love doesnt ask why...

kemiola89: i thought love is supposed 2 be unconditional, it obvious u re in love with his appearance, cos if not, u wont be here complaining about him being too fat.

What is the first thing that's attracts you to a guy|girl? ......to me appearance matters a lot

Love is not static it grows....a change in size can cause a change in love

Overweight men are bad taste pls dnt chew.

Poeples don't valve what they hav, unless they miss it.is better u should thank ur greator 4 giv u a man 2 be ur adeori.why complain about his stature and seven yrs in courtship is not a small jorney, hold d man b4 another person would take it away 4 u.oko won lode my sister.

OP you have every right to feel the way you feel, sexual attraction is as important as anything else in a relationship. If his way truly bothers you then you have to hold off the engagement and express your feelings.
He may or may not be willing to lose weight for your sake- that is his choice alone, just like the choice of you staying with him regardless of how he looks.
Another woman WILL love him regardless, but that doesn't mean you cannot find someone equally compatible.

9ja-ninja:


what kind of comment is this, when we started the arrangement you werent fat, how will you just add weight on me.
i agree with the work out with him part it can be a bonding experience.

girl hint hint hint. monitor is food. be in his business. who said you cant get the whole package.

just in-case you dont know diseases are like cousins with obesity: diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol, osteoarthritis, gout, hbp and a bunch of others. if not for his physical appearance so you wouldnt end up with a sick man in future. you know people with diabetes are hard to feed, they are on a diet like forever if not they lose hand or leg or some shit like that.

ps i love their diet, its very healthy and actually taste good but hard to make.

you know what God help us all. No one knows who or what they'll end up with.

what are you going on and on about?
Its my opinion and she has a choice of taking or leaving it?
What if they already got married before the guy became this big?
Would you ask her to end the marriage just cos of that?
Yes,being fat is a requisition to lots of diseases but it can be managed!
That's my point and what this is supposed to be about!

slimyem: why are you with him in the first place?
Because of his looks?
What matters to you most?
The kind of person he is or the kind of body he has?
Would you rather have a tall,muscular and sexy man with a terrible persona?
If you truly love him,his being fat wont be such a big issue.
If you dont like it,help him through it.
Work through his diet,encourage him to work out often.infact join him in working out too.
it doesnt hurt! And it'll get better!

Oh puhlease! Stop chatting shyt!

So she can't be with him because of the kind of person he is and his kind of body?

Why does she have to choose one?

Why can't she have tall, muscular and sexy man with a great persona?

@OP, if you are not attracted to him, you are not attracted to him.

See if you can change what you are not attracted to, if not, move on.

fubbyy: You never loved the guy,by the way whats wrong with being fat? Girls and complaining,he's too fat,he's too skinny,he's too short,he's too tall,he's too ugly,i'v even seen a girl complaining he's ton handsome, baba, wetin be all dis sef

Crap talk!

And "you" do not have criteria of what you are attracted to?

tivta: Na girls like you they make man vex. Rubbish. Wait for husband when you reach age 35 then you go marry dwarf. Rubbish pikin.

...and whats wrong with a dwarf?
If women go a long way in maintaining a physic that makes them both proud,why do men now allow their ego come in the way of maintaining their weight.
(then they wld start quoting,'love me,love my dog')...

Stop giving him junk food,apart from junk food making him fat,prone to heart diseases,it makes him less fertile.So having a baby might be difficult with his fat ASS.

swiftycool: Baby girl, I think its better you leave him. You've been living a fake life 4 so long pretending to love him when the relationship didn't seem to be going anywhere, probably cos of some surface benefits. Now its about to get serious and that's when u wanna chicken out.

Here's an advice To all guys and ladies, any person that can't accept u d way u R and always wants to change u to fit their taste, is just a selfish Arrow who's not worth it, there R hundreds out there that wud luv u d way u R.
Spread your wings and FLY!

What absolutely daft talk.

Love my arse.

So you can be in love with someone you are not attracted to?

People pull shyt from their arse and call it opinions.

Somebody u hv dated for 7yrs proposed to u and u r tinking because u feel he has grown too fat abi? Ok, waste time nah, somebody else will gladly say YES to him.

xtielauder: I've been dating my boyfriend for d past 7yrs. But all of a sudden, he just added this weigth dat made him look as though he is obessed.. The main problem is dat he just proposed to me and I don't know wat to do, either to say yes or no... Pls house advice me on wat to do

He is only fat woman, he do't have HIV jesus Christ!!! For a starter, you said "all of a sudden" meaning he was not fat when you met him. I am sorry if I Am COMING ACROSS AS HARSH, BUT YOU ARE A SELFISH LOVER. LET THE POOR GUY BE ABEG, HE DESERVE BETTER. You don't love people son please stop lying. If you really did, you would have told him the truth long ago and be his support system while he loss the weight. Not only for his look sake, but for his health. You really don't love this man woman, let him go. Go look for another handsome young man, and when all of a sudden he gets pimples, you can dump him and hunt for a new one again. Good luck

Sagamite:

Oh puhlease! Stop chatting shyt!

So she can't be with him because of the kind of person he is and his kind of body?

Why does she have to choose one?

Why can't she have tall, muscular and sexy man with a great persona?
.

and you should stop groaning like you are about to eject some hard shite!
If you read up again,i asked questions!i didnt impose anything on her!
And she doesnt have to choose any of my options!
Dont get all riled up over nothing!

swiftycool: Baby girl, I think its better you leave him. You've been living a fake life 4 so long pretending to love him when the relationship didn't seem to be going anywhere, probably cos of some surface benefits. Now its about to get serious and that's when u wanna chicken out.

Here's an advice To all guys and ladies, any person that can't accept u d way u R and always wants to change u to fit their taste, is just a selfish Arrow who's not worth it, there R hundreds out there that wud luv u d way u R.
Spread your wings and FLY!

Oh please shut it,in your mind you made sense o,how myopic mscheew.

xtielauder: I've been dating my boyfriend for d past 7yrs. But all of a sudden, he just added this weigth dat made him look as though he is obessed.. The main problem is dat he just proposed to me and I don't know wat to do, either to say yes or no... Pls house advice me on wat to do

This could be the sign of a serious health issue. Make him seek urgent medical attention if he has suddenly become obese for no reason.

@OP, if u truly love him just as you claim? His body size should not be a hindrance to accepting his proposal as that can be worked on. Just help him out in doing this;
1. Let him take coffee with skimmed milk and honey in the morning before going to work after he might ve had about 15-30mins walk or exercise after waking up. If he is not too satisfied with the coffee alone, he can take moderate quantity of fruits like apple, water melon or pineapple.
2. Pack his food for him and tell him to eat not earlier than after 4hrs he took the coffee and fruits. Make sure his food is free of fat.
3. If he is the type that eat a lot before, advice him to reduce his daily food intake.
4. Make sure he eats light food at night, and if peradventure he is to eat bolus food then make sure the quantity is not much and let him take it with plenty vegetable soup.
5. Reduce his red meat intake or totally replace with fish( dry and fresh ), lean meat and make sure the vegetable oil you use for cooking is from Soybean.
6. You can decide to give him enough Kpekus too as It's part of exercise.

NB. Take his BMI ( Body Mass Index) before you start this things and take it again after one month. If his BMI is more than 30 now then he is obese, after 3months of adopting this practice his BMI should ve dropped by 20%. As for how to calculate BMI, you can do that online with the aid of BMI calculator.

@poster. Pls dont marry this guy because u dont love him at all. Your statement is enough prove to that.

ayotoyin: I believe the poster is interested in another person, get grip of your life and let go if your guy really irritate you cos i dont believe that being fat is the main reason here, do not deceive yourself and more importantly, don't deceive the guy. Good luck[color=#550000][/color]

On Point

dump his backside jor

Ar u really serious or u jst want 2 insult ur fat boyfriend?

...and why was my post deleted? *Straight face*

i dont see anything wrong in this girl not wanting to marry this guy because he is fat. i think we should blame the guy in question here because he does not care about the girl he is dating, if he did he wouldnt have gotten this fact. this is not a case of accident or illness, it is a case of total neglect of oneself.

my dear if you no like am as e dey, run for your life before its too late.

and all you haters of a girl who knows what she wants... you can go and marry all the fat mamas and men, its your choice, but please respect her reason for worry.

oradee:

...and whats wrong with a dwarf?
If women go a long way in maintaining a physic that makes them both proud,why do men now allow their ego come in the way of maintaining their weight.
(then they wld start quoting,'love me,love my dog')...

Thank you o bro saga! What is love without physical attraction? I agree it may not be the primary reason for being in a relationship, but then, it cannot be overlooked abeg.

Personally, I don't see myself being in a relationship with someone I'm not attrcted to. If I try to keep myself fit, why shouldn't my partner endeavour to do so?? I dint bargain for an obese man, so why should I put up with one? Apparently, his weight gain is due to excessive consumption of food and alcohol, not due to illness, nor child birth, so I understand why the Op wouldn't want to put up with such.

Having said that, it is NOT enough to call the engagement off, except he's not willing to improve. Tell him how you feel about it( remember its not just about how he appeals to you, his health matters too), if he's willing to burn dose excess calories, help him through it by exercising with him, monitoring his diet, and so on.

If he feels its a sign of good living, or his ego won't allow him to heed, then I think you need to retrace your steps, it shows he's lazy, not so concerned about his looks, his health and YOU! I don't think you would want to put up with a man with these attitude,.


Btw,I'm not sure an average naija man who has always wanted a lepa wife will go ahead to marry his once size 8,now size 16 chic.