Marriage was created as an institution that will last forever as long as the couples live on Earth. It is a life-long commitment to each other by a man and a woman who agree to live together in holy wedlock as husband and wife. It was designed to be a covenant that must not be broken.

Across the world today, there is a high and increasing rate of divorce. Many more marriages are already stressed being endured rather than enjoyed. The reasons are not far-fetched because countless books have been written by too many authors and all kinds of reasons have been advanced to explain the tragedy.

This article however lays the blame on the man/husband on three major grounds as follows:

1) The man as the head of the home:

The man/husband is the divinely ordained head of the home and wife. It is a huge responsibility which goes beyond mere sexual intercourse with his wife. To whom much is given, much is expected. Many men have failed woefully in the discharge of their responsibilities as the head of their homes and marriages. The creator of marriage, The Almighty God holds husbands to account for whatever happens in the marriage.

We can recall from the Bible that when our first mother Eve sinned by eating the forbidden fruit, it was our first Father, Adam that God questioned and blamed directly for the lapse or negligence that resulted in the disobedience. It may not have been Adam's fault that his wife fell into the temptation but directly, the woman was not questioned though she was also punished.

In our world today, the husband should take the blame for whatever goes on in his home for example where the wife is unhappy or the children are delinquent. It may not have been the man's fault but he takes the blame because he is the head of the home and is expected to go the extra mile to ensure that the marriage conforms to the divine injunctions.

2) Leaving and Cleaving:

Biblical, the man is expected to leave his father and mother and to cleave unto his wife and thereby become one flesh. this means that the man(also the woman) must break all the parental bonds and ties that existed before the marriage which can hinder the total involvement and establishment of the couples in each other. The man has a greater responsibility to ensure that cleavage takes place.

The failure to abide by this scriptural injunction is the root of most marital crises all over the world because the success of every marriage lies in the obedience and conformity to this principle. For example, mother-in-law conflicts which is very common and is the bane of many ailing marriages will certainly not occur or will be reduced to the very barest minimum if husbands and wives truly cleave unto each other as expected.

3) Finding a wife:

It is the responsibility of the man to look for a wife (Proverbs 18:22) He has to look for a wife that is fit for him. This is to say that every man has a woman that is fit for him. The operative word here is the word 'fit'. This means that every man has his own 'size'.Many men end up marrying women who are not their sizes and this is the principal reason for many a couple whose union have broken down citing the utterly mundane reason of incompatibility. In the actual sense, there is no such thing as incompatibility in marriage.Men can find their right sizes only if they can submit to their creator to lead them to their right size (Isaiah 48:17)(Psalm 32: But man is a rebel who chooses to walk in his own ways. Where a man ends up marrying the wrong size that is not fit for him, whose fault is it?

http://www.maritalsuccessresource.com]

ANother great post, the only thing i will addd is love, Most men dont even know that they are meant to totally and selflessly love thier wives. To some husband is just a social title and are not aware of the responsibilities that come with it, if there is Christ Like love so many things we see today wont exist

debrief08: ANother great post, the only thing i will addd is love, Most men dont even know that they are meant to totally and selflessly love thier wives. To some husband is just a social title and are not aware of the responsibilities that come with it, if there is Christ Like love so many things we see today wont exist

thanks alot for what you just said. Its like you were talking to me directly. I hope you love your wife selflessly.
I wish there is a way about to marry adult men and woman will undergo a kind of psychiatric/marital readiness test or maybe a kind of scan that reveals the maturity of the mind and brain when it comes to marriage before anyone will be allowed to get married. It would really save lots of people the stress and waste of time loving the wrong person that doesn't want you.

PrettyCindy:


thanks alot for what you just said. Its like you were talking to me directly. I hope you love your wife selflessly.
I wish there is a way about to marry adult men and woman will undergo a kind of psychiatric/marital readiness test or maybe a kind of scan that reveals the maturity of the mind and brain when it comes to marriage before anyone will be allowed to get married. It would really save lots of people the stress and waste of time loving the wrong person that doesn't want you.

Lol, I am a woman oh, but Thankfully I have a husband who learnt that and also taught me this. Its sad what happens these days.

@Op,9ice 1

@ Poster, nice one....God bless you!!!Majority of Nigerian men need to be taught and brought up in the right-way..i think they do not know what their role in marraige is. I really do not want to blow my trumpet, but i married one of a kind, my hubby is so matured, so understanding, so accomodating, so LOVING, he has his own wahala ooo, but i think his parents did a fantastic job even though he is an orphan now, i don't think his parents would regret giving birth to him.

I have another friend, who confided in me and said Ronkeshi, "my husband is the best thing that has ever happened to me", they have been married for 7 years now, she has two kids (a boy and a girl) and this lady so much respects and loves this man....

I have another friend, who said she wakes up every morning kneeling down to greet her hubby and say " thank you for being the loving and caring person, thank you for being my hubby" (when she told me, i could not fathom it, i tried to picture the whole thing but i just couldn't understand) it dawned on me later that the men definitely would have done or are doing something good to the point that the women could boast about it in a very humble way.

Now do not get me started on others that are nothing to write home about.

ronkebp: @ I really do not want to blow my trumpet, but i married one of a kind, my hubby is so matured, so understanding, so accomodating, so LOVING, he has his own wahala ooo, but i think his parents did a fantastic job even though he is an orphan now, i don't think his parents would regret giving birth to him.

I have another friend, who confided in me and said Ronkeshi, "my husband is the best thing that has ever happened to me", they have been married for 7 years now, she has two kids (a boy and a girl) and this lady so much respects and loves this man....

I have another friend, who said she wakes up every morning kneeling down to greet her hubby and say " thank you for being the loving and caring person, thank you for being my hubby" (when she told me, i could not fathom it, i tried to picture the whole thing but i just couldn't understand) it dawned on me later that the men definitely would have done or are doing something good to the point that the women could boast about it in a very humble way.

Now do not get me started on others that are nothing to write home about.

Please keep blowing the trumpet! At first I used to get irritated when I read posts where women are being too rosy about their husbands, however, after witnessing the negative stereotypes that Nigerian men have been placed under, I rejoice everytime a woman comes on here to talk about how wonderful her (Nigerian) husband is.

In fact, we have 3 examples from just one post. Slowly but surely, many of those who have set prejudices against Nigerian men will begin to realise that there might be more good men out there than they originally thought.

Personal rant over!