Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce - Romance - Nairaland
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| Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 12:59am On Apr 22, 2012 |
It is because people no longer know the true meaning of a wife (husband) that's why your find marriage to now be a competitive thing amongst peers in the society and that has led to the skyrocketing number of divorce cases in the country. Characteristics of a Wife/Husband are; *One who Understands *A Patient one *A Conversationist (this is extremely important in every and any relationship) *One who makes Sacrifices *Someone who see your dream just as you see it or even clearer than you do (not a pessimist to your whole believe) *A Comforter (who who will always pray for you and never use any negative or curse words on you) *A friend (a true friend will correct you on things other people are scared, shy or reluctant to tell you I.e, "honey I bought you this body spray or mouth wash because I think you should use eat because I felt you sweated too much yesterday / your mouth felt dry while we were talking - no one else will tell you this only someone who really scares for you). *A listener (someone who isn't quiet just because he/she is waiting for you to pulse so they can take over. But one who is really listening to bring about a positive impact in your conversation.) *A Giver (a generous one who isn't weighing what he/she has given to you and expecting the equivalent or something better) *One who shares your interest (Sports, fashion, current affiars, music, geography, movie, Sport, History, Politics, Religion, events, lifestyle - if your partner doesn't have at list 3 of these interest with you then please move on to the next because marriage goes way beyond the sex and food. There MUST be other similar interest to always keep communication going). *Fear of God (this means differnt things to different people so sort yours out). *Love (this came last because one must have 2 or more of the above triats before you can love them. And note; love rises and fades in every relationship and marriage but only the above will reignite the love you crave for). A good partner should possess at least 3 or more of the above traits before you should consider him/her for marriage. My humble 2cents. 3 Likes |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Nobody: 2:52am On Apr 22, 2012 |
I like ds_ppl beware 1 Like |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Killz3(m): 7:05am On Apr 22, 2012 |
Just say you are looking for perfection that does not exist. . . Anyone that exhibits ALL of those good traits before marriage is a LIAR. He/she is bound to change after marriage. It's because of posts like these that makes people mask their intentions. Not to say they are not good points, but expecting ALL these good points from an imperfect being is a recipe for divorce. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by nonen(m): 8:10am On Apr 22, 2012 |
 Never laughed like I this in a long while. Are u married? Sorry, have you said I do? Did u find all these in ur prospective mate? Do u possess all these traits? It is this kind of broad day light deceit that is either keeping our sisters unmarried or chasing the out of their marriages. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by 190: 9:03am On Apr 22, 2012 |
OP Thanks for the update, but my advice to whoever is looking for these traits before getting married is to please keep waiting for JESUS dont worry he would come soon so they can get married |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 9:44am On Apr 22, 2012 |
~Killz~: Is this the reason why students fail english (comprehension) massively? If you had read carefully without being eager to criticize, you would have seen where it was states "3 OR MORE" of the above traits and NOT all. Let's have little patience before posting. You are the typical example of the nonlistener stated above. 2 Likes |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 9:47am On Apr 22, 2012 |
190: OP 190 bobo, you sure don't fall under those categories so don't worry, remain the happy player that you are. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Killz3(m): 9:56am On Apr 22, 2012 |
acidtalk:Mumu, was i talking to you? I did not even quote you, bird brain! |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 10:07am On Apr 22, 2012 |
~Killz~: Killz my gee, knew I could get you to insult me this early morning and you didn't prove me wrong. Killz how many of those traits above do you genuinely have? Be honest here. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by pendo89(f): 10:12am On Apr 22, 2012 |
Lemmie give my 2 cents here. First no one comes as a ready made package. Have you ever talked to divorced people? They always say HE/SHE changed!! Truth is, people don't change.Their evil nature was only lying dormant waiting for the right time and environment to manifest. That is why trials are good.They come to test our character and all the good virtues you've highlighted up there. When people are dating they hide a number of flaws.They hate revealing their true self cz they fear losing the one they love. But once the relationship is sealed through marriage,they feel free to be their real selves.The small demons that have been acting as angles break lose. Now that is what. This is what I prefer.Just be yourself.Naturally and emotionally.Don't try too hard to be what you are not so as to please or trap anybody. Truth be told theres always a person for each one of us including even the madman. Allow ur partner to see ur true self before you walk down that aisle.That way she/he will not say she was deceived or blinded. 3 Likes |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by MrsChima(f): 10:15am On Apr 22, 2012 |
pendo89: Lemmie give my 2 cents here. True.  |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by MrsChima(f): 10:20am On Apr 22, 2012 |
It is hard for most people to be honest about their feelings, thoughts, actions, and desires. I have found men to be the least likely to be honest about what they want in a relationship simply because they are too busy trying to catch the prey instead of making sure it is their prey to catch. I have found women to be more likely to accept whatever just to "have a man" that they forget their basic needs are important for their sanity of life. It is true that first impressions are everything however when it comes to long term endeavors, your true impressions should present themselves and the right person will accept you the way you are with reasonable provisions. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Killz3(m): 10:23am On Apr 22, 2012 |
acidtalk:9 |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Rocktation(f): 10:33am On Apr 22, 2012 |
acidtalk: You really shouldn't be talking about people's English. @Topic- You'd be surprised to know that almost every existing human you meet, possesses at least 3 of these traits like you want, and still doesn't fit the description of a perfect partner. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by kilimanjaro(m): 11:04am On Apr 22, 2012 |
pendo89: Lemmie give my 2 cents here.what a talk! Yeah, i've known this years back that people don't change, they only pretend to be. @op, an average nigerian girl could act all your afore-mentioned statements while courting then show up are real person after marriage. 1 Like |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 12:08pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
From the above, it is evident that the most common thing said here is "PRETENCE". Which leads me to the next question; HOW CAN ONE IDENTIFY A PRETENDING PARTNER  Killz, you possess 9 of the above traits and is still single? What the hell is going on? Are you a Reverend father? You should have been long married by now. Probably even be a grand father. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by kilimanjaro(m): 12:20pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
Some people do say u can identify one by body-language. Hmmm........except the amateurs. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Killz3(m): 2:02pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
acidtalk: From the above, it is evident that the most common thing said here is "PRETENCE". Which leads me to the next question;How old do you think i am? |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by pendo89(f): 3:37pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
acidtalk: From the above, it is evident that the most common thing said here is "PRETENCE". Which leads me to the next question; By spending lots of time with them.Don't be in a rush to seal a relationship. Take time before you commit and don't be blinded by sex or the lack of it. Do not ignore all advise.You do not spend 24 hrs with ur partner so what do u think she/he could be doing behind your back? If anybody tells u something nasty about him/her don't just assume that they are jealous.It could be true after all. I like googling up people.If you claim not to have a past (good/bad) I doubt you.One must be open with the person they choose to share their lives with. I prefer you bring out the skeletons then al know if I can handle them cz sooner or later they will pop out of the closet. Finally,If you don't want a pretending partner do not be one. At times people react to what they are presented with in order to fit. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by MrsChima(f): 4:38pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
It sounds like some people are allergic to quality time hence many of them have failed relationships. Quality time is about getting to know the person you are with and assessing whether you guys are compatible for long term relationship depending on your preference. Some people want booty calls. Some people want one night stands. Not everyone get into relationships heading for marriage. That's what people who are not married should do before jumping the broom. However, you do have some people that are desperate to get into relationships that they will do anything to be in one hence date a killer or a rapist. I agree with Pendo....quality time is imperative and before I got married...I didn't limit my ducks in one basket. I got to know the guys without having sex with them and the ones that only wanted sex didn't stay around long. It works if you aren't desperate. Keep your legs closed and ears/eyes open and you will prevent future heartache. 1 Like |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 9:45pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
Mrs.Chima: So so true. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 9:46pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
~Killz~: Old enough to be married with kids older than me sir. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Killz3(m): 10:13pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
acidtalk:Nope. . . Mid 20's is not old please, and what's with the sir?  |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by MrsChima(f): 11:46pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
~Killz~: Awww. A young sir.  1 Like |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by 190: 6:18am On Apr 23, 2012 |
Actually sexkills is 35 he would be 46 later this year dont ask me any questions |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by kilimanjaro(m): 12:04pm On Apr 23, 2012 |
~Killz~:I will slap u if u repeat that. U are actually 39. Why telling lies? |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Nobody: 1:23pm On Apr 23, 2012 |
Poster is 90% correct. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Wislet(f): 9:27pm On Apr 24, 2012 |
@ acidtalk, I agree with u a 100 percent dear. Happy am nt de only one who thinks this generation needs to come back to God. Many things have gone wrong. May ur wish and prayer for yourself concerning marriage be what u will have. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 11:32pm On Apr 24, 2012 |
~Killz~: I was told to always respect people irrespective of whether I am older or younger. Most especially when they are the kind with bad mouth. |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by acidtalk: 11:34pm On Apr 24, 2012 |
190: Actually sexkills is 35 he would be 46 later this year Are you insinuating he is the green mapped alien from venus? |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by luckgames(m): 3:22pm On Apr 25, 2012 |
Characteristics of a Wife/Husband are; *One who Understands --Yes *A Patient one---Not really because I don't put up with nonsenses and lying *A Conservationist --Yes *One who makes Sacrifices-- Yes but woman think you are a fool for doing it *Someone who see your dream just as you see it or even clearer than you do -- Yes can help with a woman dream *A Comforter --- Yes but I analyze things and use curse words *A friend (a true friend will correct you on things other people are scared, shy or reluctant to tell you I.e, "honey -- You do that woman think you want to control them *A listener -- Yes, I am Open minded *A Giver -- Yes but be careful so that you are not taking for a fool *One who shares your interest - Yes can share some interest Religion, events, lifestyle - if your partner doesn't have at list 3 of these interest with you then please move on to the next because marriage goes way beyond the sex and food. There MUST be other similar interest to always keep communication going). *Fear of God - Yes but not a part- time christian *Love - You must love the somebody that is while you want to be in a relationship Couple of things missing respect, Fairness and consideration |
| Re: Traits You MUST Look Out For Before Saying "I DO". To Avoid Divorce by Killz3(m): 6:52pm On Apr 25, 2012 |
acidtalk:I don't have bad mouth. |
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