Thats not right... being secretive in a relationship is ok but when the relationship takes another turn, come on!! you ve gat to spill it out, all of it! If he truly loves u , he will stay but trying to deceive and hide a very important issue from your future husband, Babe dat is wicked n selfish of you. It happen to my cousin as God will have it, family intervened n today they r happily married with 5 children.

WOULD HIS PARENTS RATHER THEIR SON ANSWERS 'MARRIED MAN' TO HIM HAVING PEACE OF MIND IN HIS HOME THEREAFTER?
@acidtalk, take that your friend like ur own blood brother and give him de advice u would give your own. Or, give hin ur phone to read replies on here.
Marriage is not an affair to be built on pity, lies or parents' pressure. Let him look well before he makes de biggest mistake of his life.

She ought to have told him right from start. What's with women (and men) not coming plain into a relationship? There are still "humans" who don't judge others based on past actions. If I were the guy and she had told me from the start about this son, I still would "marry" her!

PurerareGold: B4 U̶̲̥̅ judge, make sure you are perfect. She probably hid it from him for the same reasons as what is happening now. She was probably scared †☺ loose him. I am not condoning her actions o. Has he ever doubted her love for him? Why now? That a woman has a child b4 doesn't mean she can't be married. Let him sit her down. This is the best tyme †☺ get all the truth from her if there's more. Personally, I think he should work it out but if he can't, he should let go. I am sure she will adore him for the rest of her life if he sticks by her.

Difficult one to call, but i think i will go with this post!!

I dont know why people think its normal or ok to deny your own child. Very wicked. How disgusting.

Akinagirl: I dont know why people think its normal or ok to deny your own child. Very wicked. How disgusting.

That's the most irritating thing.
Why deny or hide your own child.
She can one day even deny this guy as her husband if she meets a richer Chief that will lavish her with wealth.

Ceeno E vu: for me it is very very over. And it's not because of the fact that she has a child out of wedlock, but it's because she hid it from me, I had to ask her, she denied until she knew she could not longer hide etc etc. I will never enter into marriage with such a person.

Amen 2 dat

Well, the fact that she has a baby is not the main koko but the fact that she didnt mention it on time till the guy found out.
Thats deciet and it shouldnt be taken likely.

I might end the relationship if i find out such tins.

and like someone said, if she could lie about her kid, only God knows a myriad of tin she would be hiding

PurerareGold: B4 U̶̲̥̅ judge, make sure you are perfect. She probably hid it from him for the same reasons as what is happening now. She was probably scared †☺ loose him. I am not condoning her actions o. Has he ever doubted her love for him? Why now? That a woman has a child b4 doesn't mean she can't be married. Let him sit her down. This is the best tyme †☺ get all the truth from her if there's more. Personally, I think he should work it out but if he can't, he should let go. I am sure she will adore him for the rest of her life if he sticks by her.

best comment so far

That's a big blunder from τ̣̣ђё babe,τ̣̣ђё truth be told if τ̣̣ђё situation was †☺ be τ̣̣ђё other way,i bet Ɣ☺ΰ‎​​ ,τ̣̣ђё babe ѠȊ̝̊̅ℓℓ make τ̣̣ђё man's life a living hell. For those who said she Iڪ scared †☺ loose him,it was better then than №ω plus havnt Ɣ☺ΰ‎​​ guys heard of hate ‎​♍Ε for wat i A̶̲̥̅♏ dan L♡̬̩̃̊√ع ‎​♍Ε for wat A̶̲̥̅♏ not. Nobody said she isnt going †☺ be a good wife,but i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ cases like dis,sin of omission isnt something Ɣ☺ΰ‎​​ should commit. If dat marriage ever happens,there's going †☺ be lack of trust i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ it, @ op,pls tell Ÿ̲Ơ̴̴̴̴͡uя friend dat if he luvs τ̣̣ђё girl aπϑ can deal wit it,i advice he forgive her,give her a second chance

Tell him to RUN!!! There are too many honest women in the world. It is difficult when you love someone to leave her, but trust builds a home. The wedding should at the very least be postponed for a few years to rebuild the relationship and develop a relationship with the son if he were so foolish.

Can you imagine? I couldn't bare such news before a wedding.

Amaka G29: Tell him to RUN!!! There are too many honest women in the world. It is difficult when you love someone to leave her, but trust builds a home. The wedding should at the very least be postponed for a few years to rebuild the relationship and develop a relationship with the son if he were so foolish.

Can you imagine? I couldn't bare such news before a wedding.

True talk!!! Postpone? His parents are on his neck to settle down.

I honestly think ur friend should move on with his life cuz d lady in question will not bring him rest of mind if he ends up with her...my reasons:
1. D fact that she didn't open up until she couldn't deny it any longer suggests she has a large heart that can conceal a whole lot...most women would have bursted into tears and open up at d mention of it in d first place.
2. D fact that she could deny her own son suggests she won't blink 2 deny d guy if situations warrants in future.
3. She will definitely need 10 more denials or more 2 cover a big lie like that- any woman who has a heart 2 handle such should be given a whole lot of miles apart

A lot is happening nowadays and 1has to be prayerful and cautious when it comes 2 marriage issues....it's a lifetime thingy o

Ds is a long thing ooooo.

agiboma: Well if he loves her he should continue, butif its too much for him he should just move on.

People just talk about love all d time! It takes more than love to get married. Dude Call off the wedding joor!

well,if thats d way it happened,then i dont see any sane reason to continue such relationship,it's nt built on trust and love,rather lies,deciets and even posibly infactuation.how could she have been arbouring such isues when he had proposed marriage,it's no realy a big deal to have an issue,bt it becomes an issue if such is nt discused prenumptially

2 hours of interrogation from her fiance of 18-months before she would admit she has a child? That's a hardened soulless person.

Dump her like a bad habit!

isale_gan2: 2 hours of interrogation from her fiance of 18-months before she would admit she has a child? That's a hardened soulless person.

Dump her like a bad habit!

Hmmmm!!!

So what did you friend finally do? Waiting †☺ hear the conclusion.

PurerareGold: B4 U̶̲̥̅ judge, make sure you are perfect. She probably hid it from him for the same reasons as what is happening now. She was probably scared †☺ loose him. I am not condoning her actions o. Has he ever doubted her love for him? Why now? That a woman has a child b4 doesn't mean she can't be married. Let him sit her down. This is the best tyme †☺ get all the truth from her if there's more. Personally, I think he should work it out but if he can't, he should let go. I am sure she will adore him for the rest of her life if he sticks by her.

Well said but the trust' in the relationship will seize to exist.

@acidtalk... So what later happened?

Or did you manufacture the story?

Hmmn. The heart of a woman is indeed as deep as an ocean. You would be shocked if they let some secrets out.

This lady must have thought hiding the child from her man was the best alternative, and now it backfired. Like they say: you don't worry about what you don't know.

I'm saying this because there are just two possible outcomes: either you get pardoned or thrown out. The decision on which alternative to take unfortunately lies on where the troubled person "assumes" is "safer".

Wislet: @acidtalk... So what later happened?

Or did you manufacture the story?

He didn't speak to us (his close friends) and someof his siblings for almost 1 and a half month after then.

I heard (no so sure) that they might still marry in November.

Truth be told, my friend acts insane, this minute it is this decision, the bext minute, he is changing his mind.
Might call him over the weekend.

acidtalk: Is This Enough Reason To End A Relationship And Call Off Marriage Plans?

A close friend just called a few minutes ago to lament (and cry in between) that the girl he has been dating for 18 months and was deemed fit to marry by all members of his family and friend was discovered to be a mother of a 7 years old boy.

She kept this away from my friend all this while and it is only 5 months to their supposed wedding.

When he confronted her about it last night, she denied it for over 2 hours until when he started to dish out evidences she could no longer deny.

She swore she would have told him before their wedding day, but this friend is adamant saying he is over with her because only God knows the so many other secrets she is keeping from him.

He swore he would have almost thought she was even a virgin if he hadn't made love to her before. She looks so innocent and loving.

Human beings and pretense.

Please tell your friend to dump her and quickly. Barring any threats to her life and/or the son's life, there is no conceivable reason why a mother should hide and deny her own flesh and blood!

Her behaviour is very telling and is an indication that she is, of low morals, manipulative, insidious, and what priority she will assign to your future kids.

I find it ludicrous the attempts here to attribute this deception to a fear of losing the love of your friend. Love is not just a feeling, but more of a behaviour.. If you love somone you will not attempt to deceive them -- at least not to this extent -- for any personal benefit, which appears to be marriage in this case; if you really love your child, you will not hide him/her nor deny him/her, even for the sake of getting married, which she appears to be more interested in.

Even after your friend confronted her with this shocking discovery, she still denied her child for 2 hours till your friend had to present irrefutable evidence!!! This girl has a strong devious mind and your friend will be very foolish to go ahead with the wedding. At the very least, he should postpone the wedding indefinitely till he gets to know who this woman really is.

The main reason why relationships fail is because the parties involve chose to overlook the red flags for less important things; your friend has a big one here and it is flashing.

d king123: that is a small case, i have seen a woman who had three children outside wedlock and hid it from her husband,they were married for more than five years before the man found out.

So... ? What happened next?

@neneo, u r soo on point. I go with ur advice.

@d king 123, I have heard of a similar case like that too some years back.

The worst thing is, the woman was actually older than the man and she hid it?

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It's nt easy for a single woman with a kid to tell a younger guy she has a kid...Let's be realistic...Most of u guys saying she shud av told him frm the beginning will be the same ones to dump her immediately u hear she has a kid...I've been there...Things like this are far too complicated....It's nt an easy scenario....She won't want to lose someone good...And good men are scarce nowadays...But the best way to go is to let the guy knw early enuff after some time to build some level of attraction and leave him to decide if he is ready to stay or leave

You are so correct!
Actually matchmaked a friend with another male.

Even though the lady has a son which I didn't mention to the guy, 2 weeks after I have match maked them, she hasn't still deemed it fit to tell the guy about her son.