Fhemmmy:

My Sister from the other man have said it all . . . FULL GBAMISTICALLY SAID

chaircover:

See your mouth enu opuro ki sheje

Most of the men sreaming blue murder here buy Brazillian and Blackberry bold's & BIS monthly subscriptions for their babes, like it is going out of fashion. Money for school fees and handouts nko? Many of you turned yourselves into mobile ATM machines and now complain when the ladies think that this is the norm.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating and I firmly beleive that many of us who are against this 80% wedding formula have put down a lot more than 80% of wharrever over the years. Paying 80% of the wedding costs does not guarantee a good wife so you people should simmer down and listen to what us "Iyawo ile's" are telling you

And Yes I have a problem with the way the "shebi you have money" was phrased. That leaves such a bad taste in the mouth. BTW I havent read the posters previous posts and so I dont know the prior state of their relationship.

Fhemmmy:

According to the woman, it is the house that they will live together.
However,if you are now saying the woman dont wanna invest into what she is not sure of, that is a different angle and why shd the man now invest into what he knows that the woman is not sure of . . .
The evil that we fear always have a way to show face.

armyofone: You should see the current bride price and dowry for my head
but Nkem is joyous a man should be able to do everything without eyeing his lady's wallet . after marriage, yes, before marriage, nah!
OP, this guy na future kata kata, watch out.

He that findeth a good lady, findeth joy from the Lord.
i forget the chapter and v, no ask me.

luckgames:


Thief
You want it all dumb B

armyofone:
work hard for the money and stop complaining
work hard for the money and damn treat her right.

Outstrip:

I don't understand this. Was he not aware that the lease was going to be up in september. None of this was a surprise. Weddings are usually a big deal for the average Nigerian. The house in question is even a rental not one that is owned by the man or the woman. The idea that it was an unexpected expense that came up is ridiculous. he knew that he had no plans for the wedding. Would it have been better had she come here and said it is a few months to the wedding and I am finding out that I will be footing the whole bill. It is irresponsible to say the least. None of this is a surprise. If it was an unexpected burial expense or such I would understand. It was not. The man knows that after spending 5 years with him and a wedding date has been set he is ready to show his true colors. The man just seems sneaky. She needs to find out if that house is truly a rental because he sounds like he is hiding something

jennykadry:

No mind am. I repeat, if something good happens in my marriage ( I don't want to be negative) I will set him back up with what i have in my account [size=14pt]but for me to set up a fiancé or pay so much to make my marriage happen?[/size] For wetin? Na me kill obacha collect him money?

chaircover: This Bisi sef too like amebo sure you are not a private investigator

luckgames:
Dumb ass
How can somebody treat a self center person like you Right----ME,ME,ME selfish
I am working very hard right now and playing---Blessed
I am sure I can pay for your wedding 2 million Nigerian naira easily
But will I do it NO
Sorry I have lot of things to do with my money now
So B

kay9:
And now because the dude has effed up his finances, his love is suddenly being questioned... Says a lot about how the average woman thinks. I mean, why even bother marrying, when the first sign of financial difficulty makes u wonder if he loves u?? Oh wait, i see it now, ''if he loves u, then he should have money to marry and keep u''; that's right, shey??
And tommorrow, another 35-yr-old spinster will come here and start wondering why she's still single...

armyofone: lol, which one is hurting you or electrifying ya nerves now?
you said yours, i said mine so why the name calling?

i think you forgot to take your medication bruv johnny
if you would need oshuka to carry the case on ya head, ya lenge lenge neck not withstanding, let me know i can fedex one to you.

relax oh boy! relax, life is fun.

dayokanu:

Did you read the initial post? the man had his finances tied up, An unforseen circumstance of house about to collapse happened and he had to spend money he put aside for the wedding on getting another house for two of them.

Ok If the lady doesnt want to spend 80% on the wedding, then let her spend on the house and the man spend 100% on the wedding

Is that OK?

Or better still cancel the wedding altogether. Which is the best solution left to me

dayokanu:

if he had stayed in the old house he would just pay renewal and not cost of renovating and cleaning up, No cost of agency, agreement , He wouldnt have been mandated to pay 2yrs rent like its expected of new renters.

Unexpected expense include Renovating the new house, cleaning up the new house, agreement, agency, legal fees and mandatory 2 or 3yrs are costs that come with new rentals that dont apply to rent extensions.

The Op was in the know about all these expense and didnt even complain about it, she just want him to miraculously go and find the money from somewhere for the wedding

steph7: did you even read my post, or you just felt like quoting me. Okay Mr know it all, pls explain to me how the young man planned on paying his next rent. To me , he sound non chalant about the wedding, which is why I made the statement .didn't you also read the part I said there is nothing wrong in contributing! Illiteracy is a disease

chaircover: I totally understand the reason why "hubby" doesn't have enough money to foot the wedding. Accommodation is very important, however I dont like the statement "shebi you have money"

People should learn to speak to their partners with respect and try and put themselves in the other persons shoes and feel what the other person feels before opening their mouths or taking any actions.

He could have said "Sweetheart, we have a problem. You know how much I love you and so much look forward to getting married to you in August, but this accommodation problem has exhausted all my funds. I know that this is not the norm and it is my responsibility to provide for this wedding, however is there any way that you can help me financially please. I will really appreciate it. See it as a loan and I will return it as soon as I am in a position to.

Unless the woman is mentally unstable, if a man approaches her with the right attitude, then she will be more than willing to help. pele lako pele labo

@chinwe please dont be annoyed jare, he is just forming. Please if you know that he is the right man for you, please assist him in whatever way that you can. A good man is worth more than a couple of hundreds thousand naira and he has heaps of time to pay you back over and over again in various different ways

As regards your question on how was he expecting to pay the rent anyway, he is no different from the millions of young men out there living from hand to mouth,thanks to the crazy economic situation of our great country Nigeria. many of us start married life with aluminum spoons in our mouths. God help us all.

And another thing, please dont borrow. I dont know why Nigerians like borrow borrow; borrow for school fees, borrow for wedding, borrow for accommodation. No No No cut your clothes according to your fabric and live within your means.

chaircover: A lot of you are not being realistic and people are talking a lot of theory rather than practice.

How many of you guys will seriously be comfortable with your bride paying for your suit and all the food that your side of the family ate at the wedding. She paid for the photographer, video man and even your own side of the gifts that your family should have bought as gifts to her side such as Yams, drinks etc Even her bride price she has to pay abi? is that not what her 80% is doing?

I want a happily married man/woman to come out and be truthful and say that they trusted and felt more comfortable & secure with their partner more than what they do years later. What am I saying?; trust, feeling secured, understanding and even maturity etc comes with time.

Jenny's husband paid for all the wedding but I doubt that all these years down the line she will refuse to put in her last dime to assist her husband if he needed financial help today. You cant compare the understanding that a newly married couple have with one that has been married for a decade. We all know that the first year or marriage is almost always the toughest. Why? because both are still getting used to each other and their roles.

Like I said in my first post, if she can assist then surely she should, but within reason. Its better that they cut their coat according to their size and have a low key wedding that he feels comfortable with and he can afford, rather than borrowing or using her 80% to fund the wedding. I will never encourage my man to borrow.

All this has nothing to do with being a kept woman/housewife/doormat. Whether we like to accept it or not there are some predefined roles in a relationship and when you start crossing things up, thats when you start getting strange results.

Outstrip:


And yet again none of what you have posted is unexpected. He knew that he was going to renew a lease and all these comes up with that. If he knew that the plan was going to change there should have been a sit down discussion with future wifey about what is up with the finances. Smaller house (rental) and a wedding that they are comfortable with. Not go out and spend money knowing that was not part of the plan. If it was me or any of my friends in the US I would wonder what the big deal was but this is NIgeria that you people feel like when you marry the woman she is now property hwo can you then say that it is okay for the man to tell his bride to be that the only choice they have now is for her to pay for the wedding all by herself. The man is shamelss or even worse not interested in the wedding preparations or even marriage.

luckgames:
You sound very self centered
ME,ME type of person

Outstrip:

I don't understand this. Was he not aware that the lease was going to be up in september. None of this was a surprise. Weddings are usually a big deal for the average Nigerian. The house in question is even a rental not one that is owned by the man or the woman. The idea that it was an unexpected expense that came up is ridiculous. he knew that he had no plans for the wedding. Would it have been better had she come here and said it is a few months to the wedding and I am finding out that I will be footing the whole bill. It is irresponsible to say the least. None of this is a surprise. If it was an unexpected burial expense or such I would understand. It was not. The man knows that after spending 5 years with him and a wedding date has been set he is ready to show his true colors. The man just seems sneaky. She needs to find out if that house is truly a rental because he sounds like he is hiding something

igosee:

You are the best woman i have seen with your reasoning , i have been reading your contribution and you are great, God gave you wisdom and talents, use it the area of marriage counselling, i hope many women will be like you even my wife, God bless you

Yes, she is a great person and all that, but on the fact that she thinks the man has to sell her blood to fund the wedding while the woman's account is chilling, be miss am . . .