tbaba1234:

Where is the contract for marriage written? because you know, it is just a clause right?

I just want to know whete it is written in the hadith that a woman can sign a contract clause against polygamy and also have the right to ask for divorce if he husband breaks his promise before she marries . . If the Prophet of islam made that statement I just want you to provide it. . .Wanna show it to a friend. . .

mazaje:
I just want to know where it is written in the hadith that a woman can sign a contract clause against polygamy and also have the right to ask for divorce if he husband breaks his promise before she marries . . If the Prophet of islam made that statement I just want you to provide it. . .Wanna show it to a friend. . .

There are a million clauses a woman can put in her marriage contract; a polygamy clause is just one of it. You will not find where they say you can put this clause or that clause. There is general guideline to the clauses that can be put on a marriage contract... Anything that is not an obligatory or impermissible act is fair game to be included in the contract.

The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) it says: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except a condition that forbids what is permissible or permits what is forbidden.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1352). And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever stipulates a condition that is not in the Book of Allaah it is not valid, even if he stipulates a hundred times.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2155) and Muslim (1504).

The basic principle with regard to the conditions stipulated by both partners in the marriage contract is that it is a valid condition that must be fulfilled, and it is not permissible to break it, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2721) and Muslim (1418).

The Quran says

“O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations”

[al-Maa’idah 5:1]

“And fulfil (every) covenant. Verily, the covenant will be questioned about”

[al-Isra’ 17:34

With regard to the woman stipulating that the husband should not take a second wife, the opinion of scholars is that this condition is permissible, and if the husband breaks it, the wife has the right to annul the marriage and take her dues in full.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If he stipulates that he will not take her out of her house or her city, or that he will not travel with her or will not take another wife, then he is obliged to fulfil that, and if he does not do so, then she has the right to annul the marriage. This was narrated from ‘Umar, Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas and ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with them).

It should be noted that if the husband breaks this condition, his wife does not become divorced as a result of that, rather she has the right to annul the marriage, and she may either annul it or give up the condition and accept what her husband has done, and remain as his wife.

tbaba1234:

There are a million clauses a woman can put in her marriage contract; a polygamy clause is just one of it. You will not find where they say you can put this clause or that clause. There is general guideline to the clauses that can be put on a marriage contract... Anything that is not an obligatory or impermissible act is fair game to be included in the contract.

The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) it says: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except a condition that forbids what is permissible or permits what is forbidden.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1352). And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever stipulates a condition that is not in the Book of Allaah it is not valid, even if he stipulates a hundred times.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2155) and Muslim (1504).

The basic principle with regard to the conditions stipulated by both partners in the marriage contract is that it is a valid condition that must be fulfilled, and it is not permissible to break it, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2721) and Muslim (1418).

The Quran says

“O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations”

[al-Maa’idah 5:1]

“And fulfil (every) covenant. Verily, the covenant will be questioned about”

[al-Isra’ 17:34

With regard to the woman stipulating that the husband should not take a second wife, the opinion of scholars is that this condition is permissible, and if the husband breaks it, the wife has the right to annul the marriage and take her dues in full.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If he stipulates that he will not take her out of her house or her city, or that he will not travel with her or will not take another wife, then he is obliged to fulfil that, and if he does not do so, then she has the right to annul the marriage. This was narrated from ‘Umar, Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas and ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with them).

It should be noted that if the husband breaks this condition, his wife does not become divorced as a result of that, rather she has the right to annul the marriage, and she may either annul it or give up the condition and accept what her husband has done, and remain as his wife.

This is more like the interpretation and opinions of prominent schorlars and not a clear cut injuction from the Quran or hadith with regards to the marriage contract. . . Its not as clear as the injuction to marry more than one wife or the laws governing divorce for example. . thanks all the same. . .

mazaje:
This is more like the interpretation and opinions of prominent schorlars and not a clear cut injuction from the Quran or hadith with regards to the marriage contract. . . Its not as clear as the injuction to marry more than one wife or the laws governing divorce for example. . thanks all the same. . .

It is clear... The rules of setting up a marriage contract is clear, same as that of divorce.... Do you want every clause in a marriage contract to be spelt out?...

Polygamy is conditional on treating the wives fairly... It is not compulsory on every muslim. The husband gives up that right himself by accepting a contract. A muslim is bounded by his condition.

tbaba1234:

It is clear... The rules of setting up a marriage contract is clear, same as that of divorce.... Do you want every clause in a marriage contract to be spelt out?...

Polygamy is conditional on treating the wives fairly... It is not compulsory on every muslim. The husband gives up that right himself by accepting a contract. A muslim is bounded by his condition.

No it is not very clear. . .Actually it is not stipulated directly. . .

“Whoever stipulates a condition that is not in the Book of Allaah it is not valid, even if he stipulates a hundred times.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2155) and Muslim (1504).

Is the marriage contract based on this saying?. . .Stating that your husband should marry only one wife is not in the Quran. . . .I am NOT saying that polygamy is a must for muslims. . .Just saying that the contract clause is vague and based solely on the interpretation of scholars. . . .

mazaje:
No it is not very clear. . .Actually it is not stipulated directly. . .
“Whoever stipulates a condition that is not in the Book of Allaah it is not valid, even if he stipulates a hundred times.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2155) and Muslim (1504).
Is the marriage contract based on this saying?. . .Stating that your husband should marry only one wife is not in the Quran. . . .I am NOT saying that polygamy is a must for muslims. . .Just saying that the contract clause is vague and based solely on the interpretation of scholars. . . .

No clause in a marriage contract is expressly stated in any book... It gives the woman a choice within limits but it does not restrict her to the choices she can make. So it is clear.. Do you want every clause a woman puts in her marriage contract to be defined for her. if that is the case, she really has no choice.. does she?

Islam just sets the boundaries and the couple set up their contract within those boundaries, Anything that goes against the Quran is not allowed, that's all. Does not getting married to more than one wife violate an obligatory Islamic principle?? No it doesn't... So it is permissible...

Shikena..

@ sino: Yes you are right, it is just so you have the right to divorce if he does do it. Remember the right of divorce is with the man a woman can only ASK for one, which he may or may not give. I just want to have the option of a divorce just in case he doesn't treat me fairly when he gets another wife. I actually do feel like you should be patient if your husband gets another wife only if he follows the condition in the Quran of being just. I would want it to not happen at all, but I have no control over that as he can do it. I can't do anything about that. All I can do is divorce him, but that is only IF he treats me or my children unjustly. This would apply if he was monogamous as well. You know the problem with polygamy is even if the husband is just, the new wife may have plans to usurp you. It also depends on the type of woman he brings into your family. Many 2nd wives come with the intention of kicking out the 1st wife and when their plan doesn't work, start to give you trouble. I know many will keep trying to do things to cause discord between you and your husband. I just want a peaceful simple life. If he still treats me and my children well and doesn't let the other woman take over things than I would be OK. Prayers will help me get through the rest of the pain. But inshallah I will be my husband's one and only.

tbaba1234:

No clause in a marriage contract is expressly stated in any book... It gives the woman a choice within limits but it does not restrict her to the choices she can make. So it is clear.. Do you want every clause a woman puts in her marriage contract to be defined for her. if that is the case, she really has no choice.. does she?

Islam just sets the boundaries and the couple set up their contract within those boundaries, Anything that goes against the Quran is not allowed, that's all. Does not getting married to more than one wife violate an obligatory Islamic principle?? No it doesn't... So it is permissible...

Shikena..

All am saying is that it is not to be found in the Quran or hadith , it is not explicitly stated, it is only based on the interpretations of scholars. . .Injunctions on polygamy, divorce and how to sleep for example are explicitly stated. . .This one is not. . .No where is it written that before you get married the woman is allowed to write a contract. . .It does not appear any where, it is based solely on the interpretation of scholars. . .Some mumslims that strictly abide only by what the Quran says will discard this and not accept it, since it is not found any where in there. . .

mazaje:
All am saying is that it is not to be found in the Quran or hadith , it is not explicitly stated, it is only based on the interpretations of scholars. . .Injunctions on polygamy, divorce and how to sleep for example are explicitly stated. . .This one is not. . .No where is it written that before you get married the woman is allowed to write a contract. . .It does not appear any where, it is based solely on the interpretation of scholars. . .Some mumslims that strictly abide only by what the Quran says will discard this and not accept it, since it is not found any where in there. . .

The muslim wedding Nikkai literally means a contract and it is done between the couple.

The only thing i stated from scholars was the polygamy clause which is just one of millions of possible clauses that could be in a marriage contract.. I did not say anything about the marriage contract...

The Nikkai contract was practised during the time of the prophet so it is in his sunnah... It is an essential part of an islamic wedding. both parties lay their conditions for marriage and it has to be accepted for the marriage to take place.

The contract is spoken about in the Quran:

And if ye wish to exchange one wife for another and ye have given unto one of them a sum of money (however great), take nothing from it. Would ye take it by the way of calumny and open wrong? How can ye take it (back) after one of you hath gone in unto the other, and they have taken a strong pledge from you? (Quran 4 20-21)

The pledge is the agreement made before marriage...

The men are also expected to give a marriage gift:

'And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (nikah) free gift" (Quran 4:4)

The primary requirement for marriage are

Primary Requirements
1) Mutual agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul) by the bride and the groom
2) Two adult and sane witnesses
3) Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both

This article says a lot about this topic http://sheikyermami.com/2010/11/01/mauritanian-women-say-no-to-polygamy/ . I find it quite funny.

maclatunji: This article says a lot about this topic http://sheikyermami.com/2010/11/01/mauritanian-women-say-no-to-polygamy/ . I find it quite funny.

I read that article before. It is funny how they were willing to give up many financial benefits so he won't marry again. Women are not as greedy as men think we are. We would take happiness over money. Well I know I would. I would rather marry an financially ok guy than be married to a rich guy and have to go through the misery of sharing him with other women.

What was funny is that even when the husband violated the contract and married in secret, they ignored it b/c of their social image. I couldn't care less about social image. I would divorce him. I would make sure he pays a high dowry and gives me a lot of other financial things as security. Why would you forgo that for him to make a promise he can easily break if he wanted? I think the contract doesn't do much after all. If he really wants another woman and you cannot stand it, it is better to leave. There is not much you can do to stop your husband from loving another woman.

^The part that made me laugh the most was the part where they said the women pretended as if they did not know that their husbands had married second wives- that is just classic comedy.

Nene, there are good men and there are bad men. Don't treat a good man like a bad man because you will end-up losing him and then you would say "men are bad." As a woman, be objective in your search. If you say yes to the 'ladies man' whilst he is single, I don't think there is any justification for you to complain whenever he decides that he wants a second wife- he is the ladies' man after all. The handwriting was always on the wall but you chose to ignore it.

Decent men also face challenges, what will help them out is a wife who knows her duty and how to keep him because even on your wedding day, you have women who want your husband and men who want your wife- there is no need pretending about it. It is the way we human beings are.

@maclatunji:

Yea, I agree it is important to know his behavior with women BEFORE marriage. FOr example, if he has a lot of female friends or had a lot of girlfriends previously then that is a definite no. A lot of girls know their man is a player but they refuse to admit it b/c they are blinded by love and in some cases his money. I am an extremely jealous person (I know I need to work on that) so I need to make sure that he isn't a ladies man. Plus, as a muslim I would expect him to not have been involved with other women in the past anyway. Also, he should not have ANY female friends. That is haram in Islam. You should not be friends with unrelated people of the opposite gender. The first thing I will look for is how pious he is and his character. That will reflect in the way he deals with women. I know that no matter how much you keep yourself attractive, there will still be attractive women out there that will catch your husband's eye. That is understandable as there might be men other than your husband that can catch your eye as well. The key is for him to control that attraction and not act on it out of respect for our relationship. I want a man who is not weak when he sees a woman he is attracted to. I must say not all men are that bad as they are made out to be as I have met men who were very serious around women and would not even look you in the eye. I need a monogamous man b/c I honestly just cannot live with polygamy. I just don't think I can at all. It would drive me insane.

^I don't disagree with anything you have said there. We are in agreement.

well, I see situations where the wife isnt necessarily the one who doesnt want to lose her spouse. A man may want to keep his wife too, dumping the intruder{wife no2) immediately the wife brings forth the clause.

Many women I know wouldnt also stay with a man who doesnt wanna keep them,who doesnt see them as priority. The clause gives her an easy way out.

Visit this thread to read interesting submissions on matters arising in polygyny, like: Is it advisable for the first and second wife to live together? ; should a man that is not capable of fulfilling the sexual needs of the first wife take a second wife?
https://www.nairaland.com/4112695/polygyny-should-live-second-wife#61411074