chaircover: This is what CC will do and not necessarily what anyone else will do, so proceed with caution

in As I so much believe in what she did/doing is wrong, I will call her bluff and hold my ground & let her carry on not talking to me if that is what she chooses. I believe that most of us inspite of everything & how tough we like to portray, are still human and deep down in her she will know that she did wrong and each time for example she has a function, that I dont attend she will be forced to think back at the reason why. She will be forced to think about it each time she knows what is happeing to her other children but not me. She will be forced to think about it when she doesn't see her grandchildren and since she is the one not answering my calls and not the other way round, one day she will wake up and reach out. You are still her child and the mother/child bond is very strong.

Child abuse, wickedness and all things that go along this dont sit comfortably with me, most especially as i have children of my own and would hate to think that anyone will maltreat my own children.

Poster take this advice. Stand your ground because you are 101% right and justified.From what you have said about your mom even if you had spoken to her in the most mellow of voices, she would still be ignoring you. This her silence et al is all part of manipulating you and NO you will not reap a broken relationship with your daughter just because you stood up for your beliefs and the truth and yes poster do write the letter. Try to make peace without without giving an inch of ground on the fact that she is wrong. Pls just get that man out of there moaning about his situation without doing anything about it looks like- just moaning.

2mch: If all you are saying is true. Then am sorry, but your mum has mental, anger, emotional and psychological problems. The fact that she cannot see what evil she is doing shows this. She is even potentially damaging a generation. She has psychologically damaged that boy for life. The question you should be asking here is how to get her help at Aro, and also the boy help at counselling, to rehabilitate him. Trust me, the curse she is placing on you and your generation unborn,is immense. To cleanse yourself and family of this wickedness and karma, its best you take the boy out of the situation and help him. Should he die one day in her care, your whole family will be thoroughly shamed. It only takes him being hit in the wrong place, or just his spirit giving up on life. Wow, what a very sadistic bi*tch. Try and find a mature woman for this your mum that can punch her eyes out. Try not to take your kids or anyone's kids near such a person. Did your father run away? And are you all girl kids? Am saying this because she may be taking out her anger against men on this boy.

I know I can never suffer for her actions towards him cos I don't condone it. Also my dad commends me for speaking up but he cant do much as he has been emasculated. He tells me that God will keep blessing me. The life I live now years ago I could only dream of. I just always like to have a clear conscience hence my concern about the way I spoke to her (By the way I shouted at her that she is a wicked person as she is fond of calling people who she can't have her way with "wicked" so I told her the definition of wicked is man's inhumanity to man and she is actually the wicked one).

I am pleasantly surprised at the responses I'm getting. I thought people would be more focussed on Mum being sacred etc but the responses have made me a little more confident. Also she usually is the kind of person who if wronged would tell everyone she can so they can all bombard you with guilt trips and make you come to her to apologise. So far its been 6 months and she has said absolutely nothing to anyone about me annoying her and her wanting an apology. I guess she knows she's wrong so I think I'm just going to stand my ground until whenever she raises the topic then I'll rehash the matter and find a permanent solution which will suit this boy then apologise to her. Thank you all...I really appreciate every single comment.

davidylan:

Did you say your mom takes her "christian faith" seriously? Apparently she never read how God asks us to treat our bondservants?
Your mom is wicked, vengeful, malicious and a religious hypocrite. She needs prayers.

She goes to church religiously, prays all the time, quotes Bible passages off the top of her head and has written a Christian book. She doesn't believe there's a better Christian than herself. I don't go to church so often etc so she really believes she's in the right.

andromida:

Poster take this advice. Stand your ground because you are 101% right and justified.From what you have said about your mom even if you had spoken to her in the most mellow of voices, she would still be ignoring you. This her silence et al is all part of manipulating you and NO you will not reap a broken relationship with your daughter just because you stood up for your beliefs and the truth and yes poster do write the letter. Try to make peace without without giving an inch of ground on the fact that she is wrong. Pls just get that man out of there moaning about his situation without doing anything about it looks like- just moaning.

Thanks.

I cant blv,a mother s doin all this to anoda mans child did u say,she s a christ like Wow,may God 4give her.i tot thins like this only happen in nolly wood film my God,i pray that boy become somethin in life...and i pray ur mum,lv long enuf,to see what that boy will be..Amen.Op thanks be to God,u are not part of ur mums Evil.

if your mom has email, continue to sent her articles such as "evil mothers do to their househelp", ''stop mistreating your househelp", "wicked women and househelp", etc and other touching stories. bombard her email account with those topics.

Why your dad is not dealing with her is what i don't understand. if you do western union her, stop. No more goodies from overseas for her till she changes.

also i think she need some psychological help. unless your dad is afraid of her, i see no reason why your dad can't give her ultimatum to free the poor guy.

don't worry about reconciling with her for now. show her you are really upset with her behavior.

23/24 year old 21st century 9ja guy dey act like this? Your mom must be 'Di ck Tiger'. How did she suppress this man to this extent? Na wa o

Is anyone bothered by the fact that this isn't actually a boy but a full-grown man of 23-24yrs old? My initial impressions of the situation has changed a bit since the OP disclosed this information.

I am sorry but a grown man should not be "enduring" this kind of treatment, no matter how poor he is!!! The boy needs to grow some balls, go out there and make a way for himself. Haba! He might be short, but he is still an adult male! Let's close this case already. While is situation is indeed unfortunate, this man is an embarrassment to manhood. Lots of teenage boys from even poorer homes are fending for themselves in Lagos. A 24/24yr old man has ZERO excuses.

@op, you said 6months, please find out the current state of that boy, I must commend you, that you have started something trying to educate your mum on her bad behaviour, but am sorry to say you have not done anything substancial for that boy, your mother has broken his spirit, and God forbid you get a call one day saying your mother is dead and was stabbed to death by that boy. Do something now, make a bolder move and get that boy out of that house, its obvious that boy hates your mum and hate is a dangerous tool in the hands of the devil. Am sure you have not thot about it from this angle, well now think about it. God bless you and God help rescue that poor boy from the evil doings of your mum.

afdman: @op, you said 6months, please find out the current state of that boy, I must commend you, that you have started something trying to educate your mum on her bad behaviour, but am sorry to say you have not done anything substancial for that boy, your mother has broken his spirit, and God forbid you get a call one day saying your mother is dead and was stabbed to death by that boy. Do something now, make a bolder move and get that boy out of that house, its obvious that boy hates your mum and hate is a dangerous tool in the hands of the devil. Am sure you have not thot about it from this angle, well now think about it. God bless you and God help rescue that poor boy from the evil doings of your mum.

Thanks for the advice. I really will keep trying. I need God to give me wisdom. It's not easy at all.

^^ I was thinking so too... The scenario of the boy killing the madam might be more likely than the other way round.. A 24yr old hard working village boy! Hmmmn ur mum is something

I didn't want to comment but I feel compelled to do so. God will even bless you for speaking up. Don't be in a hurry to apologise and make peace with her. We are all created in the image of God,it's only the bad economy that has made some people look at others as less human. As you try to make peace with her,stand your ground and make her understand that that househelp is also someone's "sweetpie",that if she can't bear his "stupidity" anymore, she should send him back home. From what you have narrated,you even need to watch out for signs of psychological trauma from her.

hairsistaz: Hello. I am hoping to get some advice on a problem that has been on my mind for a while.

For years my mother who is a legal practitioner has been maltreating her houseboy. I know how she usually is with her house helps but when I learnt the extent of this I felt I had to speak out especially as she is takes her Christian faith seriously; I felt something was wrong. She would strip him and rub pepper on his naked body and force him to sleep with the pepper on his body without the fan on in what is more or less a mosquito infested storage room; force salt down his throat; give him spoilt food to eat; ask him to lie down on the floor facing the ground and jump up and land on his head/kick him around etc. This is besides the fact that on a daily basis she slaps him, knocks his head etc. When I first learnt about this I cried to her and begged her to stop.

He is very hard-working and does every single household chore. Wakes up at 5am and goes to bed 11pm on a good day. He can be very forgetful and dull atimes although I believe a lot of his actions are because he's scared of an angry reaction. I returned home for xmas last year only to find out the same treatment was still going on and this got me really upset and I quarrelled with my mum and told her her actions towards him are one of wickedness. I have a daughter myself and would not like her to speak to me the way I did to my mum, I admit. However I am so disappointed in her and felt pushed to tell her what her actions really are. She obviously wasn't happy with me and has cut me and my family off. I sense that she doesn't want much to do with me anymore. My siblings however see what she does (she actually does a lot of it in their presence but never in front of me); They don't intervene and so in good terms with her. They know what she does is wrong but somehow they can ignore. I on the other hand can't seem to ignore.

Since she has decided to not pick my calls anymore I have decided to write her a letter to apologise for the way I spoke to her cos I really do feel bad about that...however does that mean I like my siblings will turn a blind eye to all these just to get along with her? I still feel it's wrong to treat any human being or even animal that way. I know our relationship can never go back to the way it used to.

Advice please.

are u sure ur mum is a legal practitioner? Abi she don work for inside kirikiri before... Dats inhuman and wicked of her. One of her kids should also b treated like dat while she id being tied down to watch d episode. That would definately change her....

Oh my Goodness your mom needs Spiritual Redemption quick!! I believe she has been raining curses to your distant cousin that he doesn't know if he's coming or going hence the nonchalant way of not wanting to move out and fend for himself out there.Poverty or not what could be keeping him at your mom's if not fear and a feeling of broken self-worth ? Like many have mentioned your priority should be getting the man the help he needs to get out before you patch things up with your mom.God is your witness and he knows you're trying.Her evil ways shall not be your portion now or in the future IJN.

OP

You should be asking how to have your mother arrested stopped from maltreathing the poor boy

And not just how you can reconcile with her or beg her for doing something you know is evil. You are
very right for all I care and if I was in your shoe, I would have arrested her!!!

No biggie!!!
I don't play with things like these and I can hate anyone for life who does it.(even fought with my elder brother when ever he beats**normal beating oo** my younger one's)


Honestly, the only person I can tolerate that from will be an unknown person like the case we have here

Like someone said, give me her address let me have her arrested!!!(NOT KIDDING)



For you question, go and see her in person(maybe when you come around). Trust me all will be sorted out!!!!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAA

^^^
Sorry bros if I sound too harsh!!!

But for things like these, I just have to go "blunt!!!"