Why are men creating marriage topics left and right?

For all the bachelors out there who are God-fearing, responsible and hardworking, marriage is always something to look forward to.
for the ones who spend all their nights and weekends messing around,partying and jumping from one woman's bed to the next, please, spare us and stay single. Your marriage will be a bondage and living hell. you don't need to ask.
A smoker or drunkard can't just wake up one morning and decide to be sober. Just as an area boy can't wake up one morning and decide he will be a lecturer. He must be crazy if he thinks it will be a easy walk in the park. Marriage is similar. It is an institution you have to prepare yourself for right from your youth by practicing the art of responsibility. It shows in the way you treat your nieces and nephews, the way you treat women around you, your friends, lifestyle and even others will see you and know that you are destined to be a good family man. It is a serious institution meant for serious minded individuals. Stay single if you can't handle the responsibility. It's not by force.
A society won't exist if all men decide they want to spend all their nights in the bars and niteclubs. Society is built by the serious ones among us dedicated to their families and the success of their families and those are the ones we are proud of.

Happy father's day to the real responsible fathers out there. And shame on the sperm donors parading themselves as fathers.

you dont really make marriage sound encouraging, especially with the talk of institution, responsibility, family man. What is wrong with meeting the woman of your dreams and wanting to be with her forever.

Its understandable the way you see things anyway, our culture makes a skeptic of us all. Yet we shouldn't deny the decent ladies and gentlemen out there who are blessed with good attitudes and have fulfilling relationships. Its easier when we focus on whats important in life rather than view marriage as an opportunity to seem responsible or conform with others expectations of our lives.

Hey and quit bashing the smokers the clubbers, the bar crawlers and the hip hoppers! It doesn't make you irresponsible if you enjoy life.

queensmith: you dont really make marriage sound encouraging, especially with the talk of institution, responsibility, family man. What is wrong with meeting the woman of your dreams and wanting to be with her forever.

Its understandable the way you see things anyway, our culture makes a skeptic of us all. Yet we shouldn't deny the decent ladies and gentlemen out there who are blessed with good attitudes and have fulfilling relationships. Its easier when we focus on whats important in life rather than view marriage as an opportunity to seem responsible or conform with others expectations of our lives.

Hey and quit bashing the smokers the clubbers, the bar crawlers and the hip hoppers! It doesn't make you irresponsible if you enjoy life.

the bolded part of ur statement is why most marriages fail today IMHO, what happens when ur feelings of wanting to be with that person dies off...because it wud surely do...if ur not open to the fact that marriage is more than just feelings, it is a great RESPONSIBILITY and not all fun you will surely get divorced...so as the OP said if some ppl r not ready to see it as that they shud save their time and keep on hopping from one bed to the another....afterall it is not by force to marry

maryini:

the bolded part of ur statement is why most marriages fail today IMHO, what happens when ur feelings of wanting to be with that person dies off...because it wud surely do...if ur not open to the fact that marriage is more than just feelings, it is a great RESPONSIBILITY and not all fun you will surely get divorced...so as the OP said if some ppl r not ready to see it as that they shud save their time and keep on hopping from one bed to the another....afterall it is not by force to marry

I don't believe you for one minute- Nigerians cannot collectively be that sad.

Theres no incentive to get married if responsibility is the key reason, who the hell wants to be responsible, I don't give a hoot for responsibility I only care for living life to the fullest.

I'm guessing thats another reason why alot of Nigerian women marry men they don't like, it's rather pathetic if you ask me, and it doesn't lead them to lasting happiness. So again I ask, what motivation will one have to get married with no feelings and no enjoyment?
This suffering and smiling thing is taken very seriously by our people.

c.fours:

A smoker or drunkard can't just wake up one morning and decide to be sober. Just as an area boy can't wake up one morning and decide he will be a lecturer. He must be crazy if he thinks

Happy father's day to the real responsible fathers out there. And shame on the sperm donors parading themselves as fathers.

I'm a smoker (not a chain smoker, though), but I don't drink - and I wake up every morning sober as fvck.. Your analogy is wrong!!!

Being responsible isn't just about leading a 'perfect' life - some of us are social humanoids, and can still balance the two, whilst still keeping our sanity.. Some of us are just versatile, and we balance the best of both worlds the perfectly...

Take note next time, OP..

Oh!! How i miss the days when men were MEN. The days when a woman sees her "Hubby"bring in a fourth wife and wife No1,2 &3 join him to welcome her with a broad smile on their faces without asking questions. The days when men gave instructions without hearing the question "why". The days when "Solomon"could keep 300wives and 700 concubines and no 'human right' lawyer could raise objection etc.

Oops! I appear to be dreaming, Its now a womans world. lol! Guys abeg make we go colonize Mars start afresh. lol!

Ok, leme get my shield up as i expect all the women in the house to through all sorts at me. lol!

Lol @ all the defensiveness.

A happy father's day all round.

Da Mayor: Oh!! How i miss the days when men were MEN. The days when a woman sees her "Hubby"bring in a fourth wife and wife No1,2 &3 join him to welcome her with a broad smile on their faces without asking questions. The days when men gave instructions without hearing the question "why". The days when "Solomon"could keep 300wives and 700 concubines and no human lawyer could raise objection etc.

Oops! I appear to be dreaming, Its now a womans world. lol! Guys abeg make we go colonize Mars start afresh. lol!

lol, mars is reserved for the female folks i'm afraid.

there is no space for you anywhere- maybe if you dream hard enough you will land back in 300bc (or whatever the era) when solomon was marrying his 1000 wives.

queensmith:

lol, mars is reserved for the female folks i'm afraid.

there is no space for you anywhere- maybe if you dream hard enough you will land back in 300bc (or whatever the era) when solomon was marrying his 1000 wives.

Lol! you had better stay away from Mars o! no Brazilian or Indian hair there. Were going to be rebuilding and you know women dont like the building part. They like ready made. This time we will put up defences to prevent an overtake as you took us by surprise on earth.

Da Mayor:

Lol! you had better stay away from Mars o! no Brazilian or Indian hair there. Were going to be rebuilding and you know women dont like the building part. They like ready made. This time we will put up defences to prevent an overtake as you took us by surprise on earth.

There is no pornography there either! :p

In fact it's ok you can go, that was the masterplan, we wanted to use you men to build first and then send you away! oya go joor, your rocket awaits you!

Interesting thread with an open discussion and really wish others can come to reflect on the topic or maybe something is wrong somewhere.

Da Mayor: Oh!! How i miss the days when men were MEN. The days when a woman sees her "Hubby"bring in a fourth wife and wife No1,2 &3 join him to welcome her with a broad smile on their faces without asking questions. The days when men gave instructions without hearing the question "why". The days when "Solomon"could keep 300wives and 700 concubines and no 'human right' lawyer could raise objection etc.

Oops! I appear to be dreaming, Its now a womans world. lol! Guys abeg make we go colonize Mars start afresh. lol!

Ok, leme get my shield up as i expect all the women in the house to through all sorts at me. lol!

Regardless of what our womenfolk think, do or say, the world is still exclusively owned and dominated by men.
Life will be much easier for them if they can accept the reality.

TheShopKeeper:

Regardless of what our womenfolk think, do or say, the world is still exclusively owned and dominated by men.
Life will be much easier for them if they can accept the reality.

your womenfolk? where the hell do you people crawl out from?

There has to be an effort for someone to maintain such a backwards ideals, it can't be easy?

Your womenfolk indeed.

TheShopKeeper:

Regardless of what our womenfolk think, do or say, the world is still exclusively owned and dominated by men.
Life will be much easier for them if they can accept the reality.

My Brother, for peace to reign, we say make we gree say dem equal. However, when Lion roar for jungle, every creature knows its place.

queensmith:

your womenfolk? where the hell do you people crawl out from?

There has to be an effort for someone to maintain such a backwards ideals, it can't be easy?

Your womenfolk indeed.

Sister, no need to get agressive na. The young man was just expressing his views. As ancient as our views may be, reality doesnt change. Eve can never become Steve, just as 'womanfolk' no fit stand pee into a coke bottle.

Marriage is really a hardwork oh! May God help us.

Queensmith,

I hope you can take this aggression into the bedroom, Its a huge turn on

queensmith:

I don't believe you for one minute- Nigerians cannot collectively be that sad.

Theres no incentive to get married if responsibility is the key reason, who the hell wants to be responsible, I don't give a hoot for responsibility I only care for living life to the fullest.

I'm guessing thats another reason why alot of Nigerian women marry men they don't like, it's rather pathetic if you ask me, and it doesn't lead them to lasting happiness. So again I ask, what motivation will one have to get married with no feelings and no enjoyment?
This suffering and smiling thing is taken very seriously by our people.

perhaps why divorce rates are so high these days. Little children, immature adults and irresponsible folks getting married with a warped sense of what marriage is all about. By the time they realise marriage isnt all about endless partying and unbridled s[i]e[/i]x they are already headed to the irreconcilable differences route as an excuse for their divorce.

Da Mayor:

Sister, no need to get agressive na. The young man was just expressing his views. As ancient as our views may be, reality doesnt change. Eve can never become Steve, just as 'womanfolk' no fit stand pee into a coke bottle.

#thatisall

davidylan:

perhaps why divorce rates are so high these days. Little children, immature adults and irresponsible folks getting married with a warped sense of what marriage is all about. By the time they realise marriage isnt all about endless partying and unbridled s[i]e[/i]x they are already headed to the irreconcilable differences route as an excuse for their divorce.

Oboii, the difference between most and some, some will enjoy their marriages, most will endure it. Whatever one wants for his/her life right?

davidylan:

perhaps why divorce rates are so high these days. Little children, immature adults and irresponsible folks getting married with a warped sense of what marriage is all about. By the time they realise marriage isnt all about endless partying and unbridled s[i]e[/i]x they are already headed to the irreconcilable differences route as an excuse for their divorce.

The issue of divorce only started arising when on advice of the Tiger, 'The Lioness' decided to challenge the authority of the 'Lion' as King of the jungle. Something she regrets till today. lol!

Most people do not understand what marriage is and they think it is just about the butterflies they feel in their tummy and once it fades or perhaps someone else starts running some shivers through their spine they jump onto the next person.

@Queensmith, as Nigerians, we enjoy marriage and we know so well there is a great deal in making your marriage work and not just love because love in itself is not sustaining since it is a feeling you have which most times are not real because they are motivated by some things you see in the other party which may eventually fade over time. Thus, the earlier you realise that there is a need to have it in mind that no matter what, I must choose to love this person, the better otherwise . . .

GboyegaD: .

@Queensmith, as[b] Nigerians, we enjoy marriage[/b] and we know so well there is a great deal in making your marriage work and not just love because love in itself is not sustaining since it is a feeling you have which most times are not real because they are motivated by some things you see in the other party which may eventually fade over time. Thus, the earlier you realise that there is a need to have it in mind that no matter what, I must choose to love this person, the better otherwise . . .

This is what you are saying;

Nigerians enjoy marriage, because

We spend all our time and energy on making the marriage work since

marriage isn't a bed of roses (heaven knows why they think it's enjoyable then) so,

love, feelings and butterflies fade so what we resort to is;

choosing to love that person no matter what (because feelings are forced and not experienced)

but we do enjoy it very much.

This isn't convincing me at all??

hmmmm

This is funny. Total bs as usual though. What happened he didn't appretiate you enough after you "give am finish"? I don't mean to be rude but having men constantly up you does not make you an authority on them, it just makes you an extra wide puzzy. Ask jk she can confirm this.

c.fours:
Why are men creating marriage topics left and right?

For all the bachelors out there who are God-fearing, responsible and hardworking, marriage is always something to look forward to.
for the ones who spend all their nights and weekends messing around,partying and jumping from one woman's bed to the next, please, spare us and stay single. Your marriage will be a bondage and living hell. you don't need to ask.
A smoker or drunkard can't just wake up one morning and decide to be sober. Just as an area boy can't wake up one morning and decide he will be a lecturer. He must be crazy if he thinks it will be a easy walk in the park. Marriage is similar. It is an institution you have to prepare yourself for right from your youth by practicing the art of responsibility. It shows in the way you treat your nieces and nephews, the way you treat women around you, your friends, lifestyle and even others will see you and know that you are destined to be a good family man. It is a serious institution meant for serious minded individuals. Stay single if you can't handle the responsibility. It's not by force.
A society won't exist if all men decide they want to spend all their nights in the bars and niteclubs. Society is built by the serious ones among us dedicated to their families and the success of their families and those are the ones we are proud of.

Happy father's day to the real responsible fathers out there. And shame on the sperm donors parading themselves as fathers.

queensmith:

This is what you are saying;

Nigerians enjoy marriage, because

We spend all our time and energy on making the marriage work since

marriage isn't a bed of roses (heaven knows why they think it's enjoyable then) so,

love, feelings and butterflies fade so what we resort to is;

choosing to love that person no matter what (because feelings are forced and not experienced)

but we do enjoy it very much.

This isn't convincing me at all??

You got my explanation all right and you necessarily need not be convinced but that is the truth and my understanding as well about marriage. We necessarily do not spend all our time making the marriage work. All you need is someone you have same understanding about the concept of marriage and that way, there is little work to do towards making the marriage work. Like you know life isn't a bed of roses and so is marriage.

My view; love is meant for courtship, and when marriage enters, reality sets in. Therefore, it is important to find something greater than love to hold a marriage together.

queensmith:

your womenfolk? where the hell do you people crawl out from?

There has to be an effort for someone to maintain such a backwards ideals, it can't be easy?

Your womenfolk indeed.

I nearly died of laughter reading the bolded. The guy prolly has some housemaid he calls a wife that's why he is mouthing off!

Long One: My view; love is meant for courtship, and when marriage enters, reality sets in. Therefore, it is important to find something greater than love to hold a marriage together.

I've gone through most of the post here and feel compeled to contribute. First love that leads to marriage is not a feeling. I here people define love as a feeling you feel when you feel for someone the way you never felt before. That is infactuation or better put the kind of love you have for a car or a shirt, shoe, food etc. Love can not be defined by mere words, it is best described because where it exist certain attributes must be found. So If I find a girl I like and go on to date her, i make a choice whether I want to love her I can live with her exhibiting those attributes daily. What are the attributes by the way, the are kindness, gentleness, temperance, faithfulness, peace, self-control, joy ........ All these attributes have no basis with feeling. You do not feel kindness for someone or feel faithfulness or self-control. You make a choice to be faithful, kind, peaceful and self-controlled. Once our perspective of what we are going into is right, then I believe it can then be a pleasure ride.
I'm dreaming of the lady I shower with all these attribute and still be me.

queensmith:

I don't believe you for one minute- Nigerians cannot collectively be that sad.

Theres no incentive to get married if responsibility is the key reason, who the hell wants to be responsible, I don't give a hoot for responsibility I only care for living life to the fullest.

I'm guessing thats another reason why alot of Nigerian women marry men they don't like, it's rather pathetic if you ask me, and it doesn't lead them to lasting happiness. So again I ask, what motivation will one have to get married with no feelings and no enjoyment?
This suffering and smiling thing is taken very seriously by our people.

That you're married doesn't mean there can be no enjoyment. Why would you want to marry someone you have no feelings for in the first place? I think the point Maryini's is making is that to take the decision to get married involves a sense of responsibilty cause it goes beyond feelings; finances, child-raising, secutiry, inter-family relationships, career balancing..... all require one to be responsible.

blumail:
That you're married doesn't mean there can be no enjoyment. Why would you want to marry someone you have no feelings for in the first place? I think the point Maryini's is making is that to take the decision to get married involves a sense of responsibilty cause it goes beyond feelings; finances, child-raising, secutiry, inter-family relationships, career balancing..... all require one to be responsible.

obviously becoming a parent buying a house all that hullabaloo is additional responsibility, i still think before you get married your partner should be a compatible enough match. Rather than marry any old hillbilly and spend the rest of your life 'working' on the marriage for responsibility sake.
That doesn't sound right, marriage isn't for everyone- responsible or not, there are young people happily married without an ounce of responsibility. There are older couples with children that struggle to make the marriage work, being responsible really isn't going to cut it, especially if you find yourself struggling for happiness.

@ op what's ur problem, u sound lyk u've just been bitten by a soldier ant. Who says if u visit a bar u ve turned irresponsible. U sound lyk u are frustrated. Abeg tell us ur real problem and stop been a hypocrite with ur failed research and topic.

blumail:
That you're married doesn't mean there can be no enjoyment. Why would you want to marry someone you have no feelings for in the first place? I think the point Maryini's is making is that to take the decision to get married involves a sense of responsibilty cause it goes beyond feelings; finances, child-raising, secutiry, inter-family relationships, career balancing..... all require one to be responsible.

you got it.