...

Onegai and alphahandmaiden check your mentions. Your input is needed

sugarcanebaby:
Onegai and alphahandmaiden check your mentions. Your input is needed

Just thought to mention, a little courtesy won't hurt.

It sounds like you are commanding them both

Let me help you edit

Onegai and Alphahandmaiden please check your mentions. Your input is needed.

Nobody send me ooo and am not drinking panadol for another person's headache...

Ganjababe:
Good afternoon Mamas,
Please what can one use for a baby of 8 months with Chicken Pox. Seems to still be in the initial stage. He has been taken to the hospital and the doc prescribed Calamine Lotion and Allergen Syrup.
Kindly provide ur inputs. God bless us all

His meds should include antibiotics of some sort. Ask your dr

Also wash his sheets with disinfectant as clean all areas with bleach and water. Generally step up hygiene around the house etc etc

VEE992:


Woowwww...where are you located? So niceee

Ibadan ma . I do home delivery nationwide

VEE992:


Woowwww...where are you located? So niceee

Ibadan ma . I do home delivery nationwide

Pretimum:


Just thought to mention, a little courtesy won't hurt.

It sounds like you are commanding them both

Let me help you edit

Onegai and Alphahandmaiden please check your mentions. Your input is needed.

Nobody send me ooo and am not drinking panadol for another person's headache...

I can't laff a beg, though doesn't sound authoritative to me sha, its to show how their input has been helpful.

Make I ask, you be yoruba ni? because we too like courtesy.


#funnywoman#

comtem2011:
I can't laff a beg, though doesn't sound authoritative to me sha, its to show how their input has been helpful.

Make I ask, you be yoruba ni? because we too like courtesy.


#funnywoman#

Yes o proudly ibile ni o

No mind me jare, Santa never reach my side ni o.

I just siddon dey look buhari

Pretimum:


Yes o proudly ibile ni o

No mind me jare, Santa never reach my side no o I just siddon dey look buhari

Sending Santa to your side rightaway.

#teamomooduduwa#

soonest:


Weight of the baby is best used to calculate doses, so what's your baby's weight. However, If he's up to 5.5kg, then he should take 1.5ml every 12hours using Augmentin 228 syrup. Augmentin 156 is better used for that age grade sha. What dose did your doctor give you. Use syringe minus the needle to get accurate measurement.
Hope your Dr told you to expect loose stool with augmentin.

Ps: I saw your pm and replied but the mail returned undelivered. Drop your email addy let me mail you directly. Cheers

Thanks dear, He's 4.6kg
bussy2rhymes@yahoo.com

khaifa:


Try to use native chalk. Put in a small container, add a drop of antiseptic (dettol or ur preferred brand) and water apply all over affected areas before u know it's cleared. Sorry little baby...

Thanks ma'am
will try it

Pretimum:


Just thought to mention, a little courtesy won't hurt.

It sounds like you are commanding them both

Let me help you edit

Onegai and Alphahandmaiden please check your mentions. Your input is needed.

Nobody send me ooo and am not drinking panadol for another person's headache...

I'm so sorry. It was an oversight. Thank you for pointing it out.

Onegai and alphahandmaiden PLEASE check your mentions, your input in needed

Wise mamas in the house, I would appreciate your input in a matter. My childhood friend called me yesterday with an issue. She and her dh are having accommodation problems and the hubby had to relocate back to his parents house while she moved in with her elder sister whose husband is away. Her sister's hubby is about coming back and her sister has been politely telling her she needs to move.

She told her hubby and he asked her to move in with him; in his parents house. She's against the idea and in a way I support her cos I know how some Nigerians treat daughter-in-laws. She suggested moving in with me temporarily, but I had to tell her my dh won't agree. Now she's down and confused and she has to give her hubby the final reply tomorrow about moving in with her inlaws.

Mamas, how do you all see living with your inlaws? Personally, I don't support it but would love to know what others think.

cc
Onegai
Alphahandmaiden
Zaynie
Other sabi mamas

olatebony:
its bn a while mamas. I miss you all. I have bn super busy. hmnnnn cheers

Can I get one of these shirts for my DS this week . His name is Victor and he's going to be 8 weeks by Thursday. I stay at Onitsha. What's the cost

Godmother:
Wise mamas in the house, I would appreciate your input in a matter. My childhood friend called me yesterday with an issue. She and her dh are having accommodation problems and the hubby had to relocate back to his parents house while she moved in with her elder sister whose husband is away. Her hubby's hubby is about coming back and her sister has been politely telling her she needs to move.

She told her hubby and he asked her to move in with him; in his parents house. She's against the idea and in a way I support her cos I know how some Nigerians treat daughter-in-laws. She suggested moving in with me temporarily, but I had to tell her my dh won't agree. Now she's down and confused and she has to give her hubby the final reply tomorrow about moving in with her inlaws.

Mamas, how do you all see living with your inlaws? Personally, I don't support it but would love to know what others think.

cc

Other sabi mamas

A wife's place is with her husband ANYWHERE ANYTIME! Tell her to go stay with her husband where he is the arrangements won't be permanent he will soon bounce back and they will go to their house.

@Godmother

I agree with Coldfeet 100%, she should carry her kaya and go stay with her husband anywhere he is squatting.

It's a temporary arrangement, so she can rest easy.

Whilst they gather themselves financially to move out soonest.

Godmother, there is no right answer for any question in this world. There is usually a best answer, and that is dependent on the person/people involved.

Necessity has forced this situation upon your friend but it could either be a time of growth for her or it could be a time to say "yup, I wish I was in hell".

Nigerians are not naturally kind, polite or understanding or tolerant people in general. So a naturally uncomfortable situation becomes even more touchy.

Now, I have seen, upclose, how a situation like hers has become the stuff of cautionary tales and nightmares. The MiL in that case was a woman with a caustic tongue but a warm beating heart. The DiL was a woman with a soft, submissive mien but a heart made of malice. And when the dust was settled, she had broken ties with her in-laws, family friends. If you think I am exaggerating, DiL was the cause of the husband losing his promising job and having to move back home in the first place (she really cannot stop her poison, it's so saccharine).

So, what is your friend like? Is she like that lady above? Is she all fire on the outside? Is she given to fits of sullen depression and noticing any petty slight, imagined or otherwise? Can she give Patience and Bite Her Tongue even when it is clear she is not at fault? Because that's how you should advice her: "look, this is a tough situation and these are where I can see you having problems..." Being honest with a friend is more important than not trying to hurt her feelings, once in a while.

Her husband needs to have a conversation with his family (read: his mother): "I'm so grateful for what you've done, my wife and I. She has been so apprehensive because she's so worried about messing up in your eyes, shes scared and this is a scary time for us. But I know you will be patient with her mistakes because she does her best to make ME happy and support us as a new family". That sentence is arse-kissing with an implied warning. The best type of sentence.

Let her move in, after all this has been done. And the couple should make concrete plans for even a face-me-I-slap-you-room in the near future (even if all goes well, no parent wants to see their adult son depending on them. It will cause annoyance and comparison to another's child who is not doing that).
And tell her, "What a MiL will accept in her daughter will annoy her in her DiL. So, don't take it personally, okay?"

@ Coldfeet and Pretimum

Thanks mamas for replying and I get your point, but what happens if the in-laws are difficult to get along with. Won't she be setting herself up for future problems?

Something similar happened to my mom's tenant, although with a slightly different scanaria. The guy brought his wife to be and we all liked her and got along with her. She used to come daily and soon we began to see her every faults and mistakes. My family didn't say a word as we felt it was not our problem, but the guy's sister who was living with him didn't have that reservation and soon it became difficult between them.

Zheemub:
Good afternoon mamas.
Please I need your help. How can I encourage my son of 8 months to eat?
He eats bits and wants BM all the time.
Now, got a job and resuming Jan. Am scared of him starving in the crèche.
How do I do it?
Thanks

Sufficient unto today is today's evil. Get him a creche where they'll have his time, and he'll eat. You're the supplier of bm that's why he's making shakara when you feed him.

Godmother:
@ Coldfeet and Pretimum

Thanks mamas for replying and I get your point, but what happens if the in-laws are difficult to get along with. Won't she be setting herself up for future problems?

Something similar happened to my mom's tenant, although with a slightly different scanaria. The guy brought his wife to be and we all liked her and got along with her. She used to come daily and soon we began to see her every faults and mistakes. My family didn't say a word as we felt it was not our problem, but the guy's sister who was living with him didn't have that reservation and soon it became difficult between them.

Let her go there first! When she gets to the bridge and needs help let us know and we will proffer solution. It's a non issue for now.

Onegai:
Godmother, there is no right answer for any question in this world. There is usually a best answer, and that is dependent on the person/people involved.

Necessity has forced this situation upon your friend but it could either be a time of growth for her or it could be a time to say "yup, I wish I was in hell".

Nigerians are not naturally kind, polite or understanding or tolerant people in general. So a naturally uncomfortable situation becomes even more touchy.

Now, I have seen, upclose, how a situation like hers has become the stuff of cautionary tales and nightmares. The MiL in that case was a woman with a caustic tongue but a warm beating heart. The DiL was a woman with a soft, submissive mien but a heart made of malice. And when the dust was settled, she had broken ties with her in-laws, family friends. If you think I am exaggerating, DiL was the cause of the husband losing his promising job and having to move back home in the first place (she really cannot stop her poison, it's so saccharine).

So, what is your friend like? Is she like that lady above? Is she all fire on the outside? Is she given to fits of sullen depression and noticing any petty slight, imagined or otherwise? Can she give Patience and Bite Her Tongue even when it is clear she is not at fault? Because that's how you should advice her: "look, this is a tough situation and these are where I can see you having problems..." Being honest with a friend is more important than not trying to hurt her feelings, once in a while.

Her husband needs to have a conversation with his family (read: his mother): "I'm so grateful for what you've done, my wife and I. She has been so apprehensive because she's so worried about messing up in your eyes, shes scared and this is a scary time for us. But I know you will be patient with her mistakes because she does her best to make ME happy and support us as a new family". That sentence is arse-kissing with an implied warning. The best type of sentence.

Let her move in, after all this has been done. And the couple should make concrete plans for even a face-me-I-slap-you-room in the near future (even if all goes well, no parent wants to see their adult son depending on them. It will cause annoyance and comparison to another's child who is not doing that).
And tell her, "What a MiL will accept in her daughter will annoy her in her DiL. So, don't take it personally, okay?"

Thanks Onegai.
My friend is a little bit hot-tempered and a no-nonsense person, although in the almost 15 years I've known her I know she's not the type to loof for trouble, but she also can't lie low and watch someone 'ride' her. And then I can't remember which, but I think she said either her MIL or SIL is also hot tempered, which is actually the real reason for her reluctance. She's afraid they might clash after a while.

Godmother:
Wise mamas in the house, I would appreciate your input in a matter. My childhood friend called me yesterday with an issue. She and her dh are having accommodation problems and the hubby had to relocate back to his parents house while she moved in with her elder sister whose husband is away. Her sister's hubby is about coming back and her sister has been politely telling her she needs to move.

She told her hubby and he asked her to move in with him; in his parents house. She's against the idea and in a way I support her cos I know how some Nigerians treat daughter-in-laws. She suggested moving in with me temporarily, but I had to tell her my dh won't agree. Now she's down and confused and she has to give her hubby the final reply tomorrow about moving in with her inlaws.

Mamas, how do you all see living with your inlaws? Personally, I don't support it but would love to know what others think.

cc
Onegai
Alphahandmaiden
Zaynie
Other sabi mamas

It's not ideal, but na condition make crayfish bend. She should humble herself and make the best of the situation. In every situation give thanks, some people have to move to village and take up farming when they face similar constraints. This one it seems her in-laws are even in the city.

Godmother:


Thanks Onegai.
My friend is a little bit hot-tempered and a no-nonsense person, although in the almost 15 years I've known her I know she's not the type to loof for trouble, but she also can't lie low and watch someone 'ride' her. And then I can't remember which, but I think she said either her MIL or SIL is also hot tempered, which is actually the real reason for her reluctance. She's afraid they might clash after a while.

It's a temporary arrangement. She promised to stay with hubby during good times and bad times. She better swallow her temper till they have their own rent money. If she wakes up appreciative of the free roof she's being offered everyday, trust me there won't be clash.

She has to lie low o, it's not her in-laws who caused her financial constraints.

soonest:

Contains paracetamol and chlorpheniramine(piriton). Yes paracetamol will relieve pain but d piriton component will just keep dozing the child. I'm not just a fan of teething mixtures.

Interesting. Personally I'm scared of drugs. You won't believe that one tablet of pcm is still enough to relieve me of pain, because I very rarely take painkillers.

So this combo is what some people give their babies daily from when they are three months old.

Tojued:


Sufficient unto today is today's evil. Get him a creche where they'll have his time, and he'll eat. You're the supplier of bm that's why he's making shakara when you feed him.

Thanks.
Please what type of homemade foods can I pack for him?

Godmother:


Thanks Onegai.
My friend is a little bit hot-tempered and a no-nonsense person, although in the almost 15 years I've known her I know she's not the type to loof for trouble, but she also can't lie low and watch someone 'ride' her. And then I can't remember which, but I think she said either her MIL or SIL is also hot tempered, which is actually the real reason for her reluctance. She's afraid they might clash after a while.

I would suggest she wears humility like a cloak as she doesn't have a choice(does she?). She would have to overlook alot of issues from her in-laws. Staying apart from her husband shouldn't be an option.

Good evening Mamas. Please help I don't know the first aid to give my DD, apart from Paracetamol & vitamin C. She cut her inner lips today, it happened at her creche. Before now, she has been having fevers at night for like 3days cos she is teething. I normally use tepid water to clean her and give her paracetamol and she is better, but tonight, she is restless and the fever isn't going down. Please help.
Cc: Onegai, Alphahandmadien, helovesme, babythug, soonest, zayine, nurse kaffy4bill, rofemiguwa and other sabi mama's. Please help.

Godmother:
Wise mamas in the house, I would appreciate your input in a matter. My childhood friend called me yesterday with an issue. She and her dh are having accommodation problems and the hubby had to relocate back to his parents house while she moved in with her elder sister whose husband is away. Her sister's hubby is about coming back and her sister has been politely telling her she needs to move.

She told her hubby and he asked her to move in with him; in his parents house. She's against the idea and in a way I support her cos I know how some Nigerians treat daughter-in-laws. She suggested moving in with me temporarily, but I had to tell her my dh won't agree. Now she's down and confused and she has to give her hubby the final reply tomorrow about moving in with her inlaws.

Mamas, how do you all see living with your inlaws? Personally, I don't support it but would love to know what others think.

cc
Onegai
Alphahandmaiden
Zaynie
Other sabi mamas

well, as Tojued has rightly said, na condition make crayfish bend! that being said, not all in-laws are monsters, i dont know how her hubby's family is so i am hoping they are a decent bunch.

first thing as a woman, she married into the man's family, yes you have your own nuclear family unit, but his extended family is yours as well. it is the expected norm in most nigerian societies. it is expected of us as wives, and to a large extent we will expect it of our daughters -in-law.

for example, if i am in town alone i almost always stay with my in-laws - note: my family house is in the same city oh.
even when i sneak in, without my FIL's knowledge, my MIL is almost always aware and i usually stay with my SIL or BIL. even when my parents were alive, my first visit after my marriage, i was shocked when my mum told me i had to go to my inlaws and na visit i go visit my own papa house

there will always be clashes when you live with anyone for long enough no matter how chummy you are, but that being said, there are certain fights that she really does not want to even start, as there is no way she will win. how long will she continue to run from them, it can take anything from 3 months to a couple of years if we are assuming this set back is just a short term thing. when she stays 1 year away from her husband....... the side talk ehn will be epic. especially if she ends up staying with someone who in the eyes of the inlaws is a bad influence. and if she moves from place to place, its even worse!

to a large extent the way your inlaws treat you is the way your spouse has allowed them to treat you. if a husband will not take any nonsense from his parents or his siblings regarding his wife, then his family will follow suite. condition or no condition, if they have any genuine respect for her husband, even if he loses his job, an eye, all his limbs and a kidney, that respect will carry through to his wife.

she needs to swallow her pride/ anger and move in with her hubby it may not be as bad as she is expecting, hopefully it is not a permanent situation and she needs to lift her hubby and her marriage up in prayer they would be on their own two feet again.

sugarcanebaby:
Onegai and alphahandmaiden check your mentions. Your input is needed

is this regarding the creche v nanny question?

if it is, i think anything i would have added has been covered by those that have responded, that is why i didn't reply to it.
all i would say is that there is no right or wrong route, each will have pros and cons, each depending on the individual nannies/ creches involved so whatever decision you make, you will have to be constantly evaluating the situation, keep a sharp eye on them and follow your gut and instincts.

However, without appearing too paranoid, there are a couple of things i would add:

one thing to ask is if they do a settling in period, most nurseries abroad will ask for a two week period where your child comes in for a couple of hours a day, to get used to the carers and environment, it reduces the stress on child, so that they don't just wake up one morning and see strange faces.... ofcourse the child will cry their eyes out the entire day, and it prevents stupid creches from them dosing one's baby with piriton and the like to keep the babies calm.

for nannies: get a nanny cam or two and put in a discrete location with a good wide view of the living room and the baby's room. make sure you take a picture of them when the come into your house for your records, as well as the agent that brought them to you. also ask if they have any supporting id like national identity card, passports and voters card, (even a bank ID with photo can be easily verified), they should bring as well (Ask for and insist on ideally 2 forms of ID) and make sure you keep copies of such documents both electronically ( dropbox or a cloud storage) and in a safe pysical location they are unlikely to access. it works as a good deterrent. should anything happen, "saka nanny agent" or "caro-nanny" as a contact on your phone will not help you..



if it isn't sorry, please let me know what the question was, so i can give my own 2 cent

cutiereborn:
Good evening Mamas. Please help I don't know the first aid to give my DD, apart from Paracetamol & vitamin C. She cut her inner lips today, it happened at her creche. Before now, she has been having fevers at night for like 3days cos she is teething. I normally use tepid water to clean her and give her paracetamol and she is better, but tonight, she is restless and the fever isn't going down. Please help.
Cc: On.egai, Alphahand.madien, helove.sme, baby.thug, soone.st, zayi.ne, nu.rse kaffy4.bill, rofemig.uwa and other sabi mama's. Please help.

Please take her to the hospital asap. Fever is not a sign of teething. Any fever over 48hrs can be dangerous and please insist they run a test before administering any drugs. She will be fine. Amen

cutiereborn:
Good evening Mamas. Please help I don't know the first aid to give my DD, apart from Paracetamol & vitamin C. She cut her inner lips today, it happened at her creche. Before now, she has been having fevers at night for like 3days cos she is teething. I normally use tepid water to clean her and give her paracetamol and she is better, but tonight, she is restless and the fever isn't going down. Please help..

Take her to the hospital tomorrow. They will ask what level her fever has been, so do you have a thermometer? Just for a checkup. But yeah, Dr first and let's know what he says.

Sugarcanebaby, I think everyone gave a much better answer than I would have, re the Creche question. so lots of great advice already. Give them a call and organise a visit. Check if they have live sockets at floor level.