My Dad was sick and hospitalised. He is usually in and out out hospital, so the last time he was there i didnt go to see him
even though i could have easily made the trip.
He had subtly requested that i come and see him, but since i thought i would still see him at home, I didnt go.
Then without warning, totally unexpectedly, he passed on and now every night i cry myself half blind because of guilt.
I have been dreaming almost every night that i went to visit him and he was happy to see me

Pls how do i free myself of this guilt? I am tired

My sincere sympathies at the untimely and sad loss of your parent.
Don't cry,death is an inevitable end that will come when it will regardless of our best intentions & well coordinated efforts to the contrary.
Take solace in the scriptures,read Rev.21:3,4.
Even our best efforts are not good enough for death the bad reaper.
Even if you had seen your parent,would that have made you happier that he is gone? No is the answer you would still be sad.
So be happy and strive to achieve the ideals he tried to lay doen for you when he was alive.
That way you carry on the legacy.
God be with you at this trying period.

@OP .... So sorry about the loss of your dad.

I was in the same situation as you some few years ago (August 2009). My mum was on admission for close to three weeks. Then...., I was the only child around, the others were unavoidably absent. For 3 weeks minus 1 day (the night she died), I was present in the hospital washing her cloths and doing other stuffs.. On the night she died, my sisters came back from their different locations and i decided to go home to sleep for the first time in 3 weeks, so that my sisters could stay in the hospital that night. Unfortuntely, that night she died.

Initially, I couldn't forgive myself because I went home that night, it felt like all the work i've done for the past weeks went down the drain, I cried and cried.

Later, I had to forgive myself, because deep down inside me I know I did what was required of me as a child, when I could.

Would going to see him saved him? If i stayed that night she would have passed on all the same.

So never worry yourself. There was nothing you could have done if you visited him.

Take Heart.

@Kevin606, sorry. Learn from your mistake and move on, there is nothing else you can do except maybe be getting closer to his siblings? Part of him lives in them as it also lives in you.

@OP
only time can heal your wounds and possibly get rid of the guilt. with time, you learn to live with the guilt and cherish and embrace the remaining family. this will also teach you to open up and to be more forward with your loved ones, to let them know exactly how you feel about them, at all time. many of us take life for granted and we should instead focus on the fact that nobody is "safe".

Boy be kind to yourself, he knows that you love him.
I understand how you feel dearie, when a loved one passes you can't help wishing for more time with them all over again and hurting over the lost bonding times. When my mum was alive , there was a day I was doing a lil pedicure for her---fidgeting with her toenails etc. I did not complete that as i got caught up with another house chore and after she passed away I still feel sad for that one time that I didn't complete the pedicure and paint her toenails nice and lovely for her. Funny!

The lessons to learn from such is for us to appreciate the remaining loved ones we have around us more. Appreciate the little time we get to spend with them and make it memorable and worthwhile.
Forgive yourself okay Baby, it's hard enough that you experienced the searing pain of losing him.

Your guilt is a little misplaced. Your mind is only playing tricks on you to make you believe that what happened in the final week of his life completely negates everything that happened in the many years before then. It's painful that you missed your father's last moments but don't allow your grief to make you forget the thousands of moments you spent with your Dad while he was alive. You should be focusing on the many memories you built together with your Dad long before his final days in the hospital. Good luck!

Just try and forgive urself and move on, what has happened has happened you can't change it no matter how hard you are on urself. ‎​♍Ɣ mother was very sick before she died and I had always been with her but during the last Xmas before she died she called ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ to be home but cos I was tired of seeing ‎​♍Ɣ mum been pitied I couldn't go home though I promised her I would, b4 d Easter I was planning on travelling home she passed on, since then I have been feeling guilty to d extent that I dreamt that she cursed me for ₪☺τ̅ being around during her last period on earth,now I have forgiven ‎​♍Ɣself cos I have realised that I can't change what was predestined, y I'm telling this story is for you to understand that you are not alone in this case. Pls stop blaming urself, just ask him for forgiveness he will understand cos he is ur father, cheers.