Empathy Causes Facial Similarity Between Couples to Increase Over Time

Would you believe that people who live with each other for 25 years actually develop similar facial features? I don't just mean that people tend to choose partners who resemble them, rather that over time together couple's features actually converge. It's weird, but there's evidence for it from a singular study carried out by the noted psychologist Robert Zajonc and colleagues.

Here's what they did.


110 participants were shown photographs of men and women in their first year of marriage and of the same couples after 25 years of marriage. Then they were asked to judge their resemblance along with the chance that any man and woman were married to each other. The researchers went to a lot of effort to remove extraneous info and crop photos so that only faces could be seen.

The types of choices the participants made indicated the perception was that couples became more facially similar after 25 years together. The results could not be explained by people simply all looking the same as they got older. Also, data from a control group indicated participants were indeed making judgements on the basis of facial features rather than any other criteria.

So this means if you stick around with your partner, you'll end up looking more like them after a couple of decades. Which naturally raises the question: why?

Here are the possible explanations the authors suggest:

1. Diet. If you share your diet with another person it's possible this is the cause. For example if both partners eat a high fat diet, both their faces will tend to look chubby. The authors, however, ruled this out using an additional small study.

2. Environment. It could be that it's because couples live together in the same area. This means that environmental factors such as sunshine and so on affect the skin in similar ways. The authors rule this one out as well because all their married couples came from the same part of the US Midwest and were matched on a number of other socioeconomic variables.

3. Predisposition. This is the idea that people are more likely to choose partners who will grow to look like them. E.g. depressed people are attracted to each other, so end up looking depressed. The authors give this one a maybe, although it is not their favourite option.

4. Empathy. This is the theory the authors like - and so do I. People grow to look similar because they are empathising with each other and so copying each other's facial expressions. Over time because of all the empathising they are doing, their faces come to look more similar. For example, if one partner often smiles in a particular way, the other is likely to copy it - so creating similar patterns of wrinkles and furrows on the face.

Because they liked theory number 4 the authors had another thought. Why not see if those who grow to look most like each other are the happiest couples? Presumably, then, those who get on better, empathise with each other to a greater degree and therefore go on to look more similar. Unfortunately, this test failed to reach statistical significance, so this study doesn't give us enough evidence to say whether or not it is true.

A glimpse of the future?

A straw poll of people I've talked to about this research reveals a polarised reaction. Some think that growing to look more like your partner is an horrific idea. Others, though, think there's something very sweet and romantic about it. I think I'm in the latter camp.

There is one worrying possibility this study suggests. It is said if you want to find out what your partner will look like when they're older, you should look at your partner's parents. Perhaps a glance at your partner's parents might also reveal what you will look like in a couple of decades. Truly scary stuff!

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/07/facial-similarity-between-couples.php

I should marry a beautiful woman then. Especially one with a beautiful smile.

~ Neither of my grandparents looked like the other

~ My parents don't look like each other

~ My hubby and I certainly don't look like each other. Okay, we've not hit the 25 year land mark - but even then, I don't see our facial features transforming into the other's.

What a weak argument.

Efemena_xy: ~ Neither of my grandparents looked like the other

~ My parents don't look like each other

~ My hubby and I certainly don't look like each other. Okay, we've not hit the 25 year land mark - but even then, I don't see our facial features transforming into the other's.

What a weak argument.

Your word against a carefully structured scientific research. Then again, there are exceptions to most rules or maybe you are not capable of seeing the resemblance?

So your parents and other family members who've been hitched for over 25 years look alike?

Does a man with 4 wives look like them and do they look like him?

Efemena_xy: So your parents and other family members who've been hitched for over 25 years look alike?

Does a man with 4 wives look like them and do they look like him?

It is not like the resemblance of siblings or identical twins now. It is subtle- For example, if you look at me and my siblings, you cannot say exactly which of our parents we look like. Hence, you can go ahead to say we look a little like both of them and they also look a little like each other- you get?

The man with 4 wives will have similar features with the one he loves the most and has spent a considerable amount of time with.

No. I don't get you.

I actually think you've got it twisted.

Of course siblings may look a bit like each parent and that's because they share their parent's DNA / genetic make-up. The parents on the other hand (assuming they aren't related, which is the case most of the times), wouldn't and shouldn't look like each other - simply because they've been together for over 25years, eat the same food, walk under the same sunshine, blah...blah...blah...

So, what you're telling me in essence here is that your parents subtly resemble each other then, Mac??

I've always heard people say this even though theres no exact number of years attached. My parents look kinda alike sha. Looking at their pictures taken some 30 years ago, they look different from the ones taken in recent times which make them look like siblings/relations.
I've seen this too in many other couples. Its kool sha.

I think this is somewhat true though the explanations looks silly.
True for my mom and dad and I've noticed that these days me and my husband are also looking alike.

Subscibing

ifyalways: I think this is somewhat true though the explanations looks silly.
True for my mom and dad and I've noticed that these days me and my husband are also looking alike.

Have you been married for 25yrs? How old are you madam?

@efemena, so your only argument against the OP's reported 'research' is your OWN experience? As in, since YOUR parents and YOUR grandparents dont look alike, it means ALL married couples, no matter the years of marriage, do NOT and will NEVER look alike, abi?
Mmm... Well, this might shock u babygurl so try and assimilate it slowly, ok? THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND U. Kapish?
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I rly couldnt care less whatever reasons OP gives to explain the said resemblance, but c'mon if u wana shoot down his supposedly ''weak'' arguments, u'd better have some good ones urself!
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Oh and while we'r at it, my parents do look alike, so umm... u might wana dive into the lagoon.

kay9: @efemena, so your only argument against the OP's reported 'research' is your OWN experience? As in, since YOUR parents and YOUR grandparents dont look alike, it means ALL married couples, no matter the years of marriage, do NOT and will NEVER look alike, abi?
Mmm... Well, this might shock u babygurl so try and assimilate it slowly, ok? THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND U. Kapish?
-
I rly couldnt care less whatever reasons OP gives to explain the said resemblance, but c'mon if u wana shoot down his supposedly ''weak'' arguments, u'd better have some good ones urself!
-
Oh and while we'r at it, my parents do look alike, so umm... u might wana dive into the lagoon.

^^ You wrote that lengthy essay up there, just for me?

Okay, you've now got my attention - hard, tough guy. What next??

So, I choose to disagree with the information presented here. My Opinion, deal with it. How e take concern you? And what's with the nastiness?

Abeg just drex back, make you nor pour spit for my body.

[quote
author=Efemena_xy]~ Neither of my grandparents looked like the other

~ My parents don't look like each other

~ My hubby and I certainly don't look like each other. Okay, we've not
hit the 25 year land mark - but even then, I don't see our facial
features transforming into the other's.

What a weak argument.[/quote]

Efemena_xy:

^^ You wrote that lengthy essay up there, just for me?

Okay, you've now got my attention - hard, tough guy. What next??

So, I choose to disagree with the information presented here. My Opinion, deal with it. How e take concern you? And what's with the nastiness?

Abeg just drex back, make you nor pour spit for my body.

Militant Efemena #Hehehe.

Sir, I have been married for 52 years. I'm 25 years old.
Any more kweshion?
Lmao. Odunnu sef.

Odunnu:
Have you been married for 25yrs? How old are you madam?

Efemena_xy:

^^ You wrote that lengthy essay up there, just for me?

Okay, you've now got my attention - hard, tough guy. What next??

So, I choose to disagree with the information presented here. My Opinion, deal with it. How e take concern you? And what's with the nastiness?

Abeg just drex back, make you nor pour spit for my body.

I dunno about being ''hard and tough'' but i'm sorry u think my comment nasty; that line about jumping into the lagoon wasnt too barbed na...
-
Unfortunately shaa u've fallen back to ''abeg-leave-me-jor'' tactics in ur response; there really wasnt any worthy point in it. A bit sad, really... I dunno, was expectin somethng with some logic, u know. #smh...

^^ Keep scratching...

Now go away & leave me alone.

yes ma'am

thats tru i hav seen in many couples. is majorly on transfer og gene durin intercouse

This doesn't make any sense to me.

maclatunji: I should marry a beautiful woman then. Especially one with a beautiful smile.

nl alfa too like better thing


oya let me give you one fine babe bet don't let yuzedo cash you o

Op is right. Take a look at this couple. They've been together for years. Don't they look alike

SAMBARRY: Op is right. Take a look at this couple. They've been together for years. Don't they look alike

Actually, they don't.

maybe if they looked alike to begin with.