A 3yr old girl sat at dinner table having dinner with
her dad,
cellphone rings,
dad said excuse and went outside and talked for a
few minutes, comes back and continues his meal,
3yr old said dad i have something 2 tell u, dad slap her n yelled… how many tymes i tell u not 2 talk while
eating? ten mins later dinner finished dad ask… what
were u saying?
3yr old said, while u were on the 4ne… the cat pissed
in ur food.....

There are three TYPES of LOVE.
*Infatuation,
*love of family,
* love of your spouse
. . .
. Infatuation, most commonly known as "Puppy Love", is basically love at first sight.
Infatuation can be the beginning of a future spouse
love. Though most often infatuation doesn't amount
to much.

Love of family is loving your mother and father, and
any siblings you may have. You want to protect them,
watch over them, and fill their lives with an
unbounding joy. The parents have an innermost
feeling for their children, which in my case, they
express everyday.


Love of your spouse means loving someone you are
married to. Whether husband or wife, you support
your spouse with a deep modesty, and you treat
them with great respect. Okay, so I told you the three types of love. But I still
haven't told you what love is. I told you a definition, a
heart to heart conversation, but does that tell you
much? No. So, I will put it straight. Love means to care, to protect, to watch over, to pray
for, to make sure the loved person is happy. But to
tell you the truth, those are all parts of love. Not love
itself. So, I will tell you what I think of love.

Love has a
meaning, but we will never know. Many
philosophers have tried, but all their attempts have
failed. Every single one of them! Love is actually never the same thing.
Your destiny, your future path, what you choose to
do, that all determines what love is. Love is never the
same, you make up the meaning of love by how you
choose to use it.

3 Things to Govern:
Temper, Tongue, and Conduct.
3 Things to Cultivate:
Courage, Gentleness, and Humility.
3 Things to Commend:
Thrift, Industry, and Promptness.
3 Things to Despise:
Cruelty, Arrogance, and Ingratitude.
3 Things to Admire:
Dignity, Intellectual Power, and Graciousness.

3 Things to Give:
Help to the Needy, Comfort to the Sad, and
Appreciation to the Worthy

ONE NIGHT 3 UNIVERSITY
STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL
LATE NIGHT AND DIDN'T
STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS
SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.
IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES
LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY
COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT.
THEY THEN WENT
UP TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT
THEY HAD GONE OUT TO A WEDDING LAST NIGHT
AND ON THEIR RETURN THE TYRE
OF THEIR CAR BURST
AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE CAR
ALL THE WAY BACK AND THAT THEY
WERE IN NO CONDITION TO APPEAR FOR THE
TEST.
THE DEAN WAS A JUST PERSON SO
HE SAID THAT THEY COULD HAVE A
RE-TEST AFTER 3
DAYS. THEY SAID THEY WOULD BE READY BY THAT TIME.ON THE THIRD
DAY THEY
APPEARED BEFORE THE DEAN FOR
THE TEST. THE DEAN SAID THAT
THERE WAS A
SPECIAL CONDITION THAT ALL FOUR WERE REQUIRED TO SIT IN
SEPARATE
CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST.
THEY ALL AGREED AS THEY HAD
PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE
DAYS. THE TEST CONSISTED OF 5 QUESTIONS WITH A TOTAL OF 100
MARKS:
*
MID SEMESTER EXAMINATION
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. All questions are compulsory. 2. Any inconsistencies on any of
the questions among the four
students will
result in all the candidates getting
a zero mark.
Q.1. Write down your name----- (2 Marks)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride
and bridegroom at the wedding
you
attended----- (30 Marks)
Q.3. What type of a car burst a tyre. ------ (20Marks)
Q.4. Which tyre burst ------- (28
marks)

Phizzie555: A blind man went into a restaraunt.
"Menu sir?" asked the Owner.
"I'm blind, bring me one of ur dirty
forks, i will smell it and order".
The confused owner got the fork.
The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath.
"Yes! I will have a lamb, with seosoned
potatoes and spring vegetables
please", the blind man said.
Unbelievable! Thought the resturaunt
owner. The blind man ate and left.
Two week later, the blind man
returned. The resturaunt owner, eager
to know how strong the blind man's
sense of smell was, rushed to the
kitchen where his wife, Carol, was cooking.
And he said, "Sweetheart, please do
me a favour and take that fork and rub
it on ur private parts."
Which she did.
He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork.
The blind man takes the fork to his
nose and says,
"Ooooooooh! Interesting! I never
Knew Carol works here."
the resturaunt owner fainted on the floor.

LWTMB 4 here o!!!