₦airaland Forum

Lol

promisechild: u only need to study only maths for now becos there is nothing like comp sci in 100lv in ksu until 300lv

Just go to a bookshop and ask for textbooks for freshers in maths and statistics

u are nice

I need to get myself ready-i don't wanna
caught by surprise...gv me a name of a
book,I should b studying on computer
scie/maths scie ..tnx

I need to get myself ready-i don't wanna caught by surprise...gv me a name of a book,I should b studying on computer scie/maths scie ..tnx

Praise God...I sew my name ooo,computer. Scie/mathematical scie/statistics..but I realy wanna study computer scie...wat next

krugar07: which iphone u wanna buy?

iphone 4s

bishopoliver: google is yur friend..

just tell me ur own plzzzzzz

I want to move to iphone,,,,I need some advantage. N disadvantage of iphone plzzz

48 computer. Scie. An indegin...wats my fate?

Blackberry bold2 for sale.15k...contact 07063648559 or 08178303141 lokoja base

Can u guy just reply me without sarcasm... no1 is perfect u NO

There is this pretty Girl I met on facebook. we became close cus we aways chat,...I. Don't no weda she like me tho cus it an online tin...

NOw she aways come to my street to visit her elder sist,I sew her,I recognize her,she Did 2...that how we Met each other face to face,since den anytime she cm To her sist place,she visit me,we talked.I C her off,.....

On the oda hand is my nt so close friend(lemme put it that way).we do online runs (toasting gels) 2gether.
so I told my not so close frnd everytin about the girl n I.My not so close friend,we both say in d same street...e happen e has being Seeing d girl 2 coming to her sist place,..e ask me to gv him d girl contact which I refused...now e is going behind my back trying to approach the girl...am scare that e is ganna take her from me...cus e is good at talkin to woman face to face,while I am just good on chating online,but face to face I got.all nervous,I. Scare I mite spoil it,n she go for my not so close friend.that will really hurt. Me.cus I think am in luv with her!...pls advise me

1976 Local governmentelections in Nigeria was based. on
A. Multi-party system
B. Two-party system
C. Zero-party system
D. One-party system

2. T he Emir's treasure in the pre-colonial Hausa/Fulani systemwas
A. Waziri
B. Dogan
C. Maaji
D. Madawakin

Thank u ooo ,

Which of the following is notnecessarily the feature of aNation
A. government
B. population
C. sovereignty
D. territory

Tnx..anoda Q pls
A system of governmentbased on the ideological beliefof equality of people andconcertration of nationalresources in the hands of thestate is called:
A. Fanaticism
B. Egalitarianism
C. Communism
D. Democracy
E. Utopianism

I wanna an answer to dis question,I don't no if it appropriate




Which of this animals is not a member of dog family
A. Jackal
B. German shepard
C. Tiger
D. Yorkshire
E. Rottweiler

OMGosh...dis Is funny na,wats wrong wth u guys?..lol

Adecement2: American president Barrak Obama visited
Zimbabwe and urge the president (Robert
Mugabe) to pass GAY marriage into law
and should be accepted by Zimbabwians,
after his speech, the president (Robert
Mugabe) responded back to him saying
''my people you have heard what the
American president said, and every leader
should lead by example....... I hereby ask
OBAMA to be my GAY partner...... OBAMA
shouted at the back ''your FATHER!!!!

OMGosh...dis Is funny na,wats wrong wth u guys?..lol

American president Barrak Obama visited
Zimbabwe and urge the president (Robert
Mugabe) to pass GAY marriage into law
and should be accepted by Zimbabwians,
after his speech, the president (Robert
Mugabe) responded back to him saying
''my people you have heard what the
American president said, and every leader
should lead by example....... I hereby ask
OBAMA to be my GAY partner...... OBAMA
shouted at the back ''your FATHER!!!!

I need ksu post ume past questions,n how It gana b dis year...tnx@aNybody[color=#990000][/color]

Monkey D Luffy: Can you imagine bought an etisalat line mainly for unlimited bis but now its is data cappped only airtel that is now unlimited and i cant buy another line again because of that

same oo. stupid etisalat..pls tell me hw airtel b unlimited

A little boy walked into his mom and dads room while they were fighting. The dad yelled, "You b*****!" And the mom screamed, "You bas***!"And the little boy said,"Mommy, Daddy what does that mean" And the parents replied"Um...ladies and gentlemen." And with that answer the little boy ran off to bed.
The next night the parents were really Hot, the dad said "Nice tits!" And the mom, "Nice dick!" And the little boy ran into the room and asked, "Mommy, Daddy what does that mean" "Um...hats and coats." And with that answer the little boy ran back to bed.
The next day was Thanksgiving and all of the relatives were going to be eating and celebrating at the little boys house. The little boywas on his way up the stairs and ran into the bathroom. When he swungthe door open it hit his dad's elbow, (the dad was shaving and he cut himself) "Sh**!" He bellowed. "Daddy what does that mean" "Um,it is the name of the shaving cream that I'm using, now run downstairs and see what your mom is doing." And with that the little boy did as he was told. Meanwhile his mom was slicing the turkey, and she accidentally put her finger in the wrong place."F***!" She hollered and the little boy said ,"Mommy, what does that mean" "Um, it means I'm cutting the turkey."
DING-DONG the door bell rang and the little boy scampered off to answer it saying: "Hello all of you b***** and b******, hang up your titties and dicks. Dad's up stairs whipping the sh** off of his face and mom's in the kitchen fu**** the turkey!"

omowa1: CONFESSION OF A LADY:

During lunch at work lastweek, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly; Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me
promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming
unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump!
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologising for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold. To my utmost surprise, twelve dinner guests were seated around the table, with hand holding their noses! LOZZZZZZZ!!

see your mango head,copy n paste...

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
______________________________________ ____
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am theninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

TEACER:NOOO....DIS IS WAY 2 MUCH.I Quit!

MOGUL.O:
Booqee: Buuuu! wher u dey? Shey u know say the fight never end abi?
Bunmi: The number u are calling is not available!
Booqee: I no say na u dey talk... if u like run, i go still catch u.
Bunmi: The number u are calling is not available!

hahahahahahahahaha0000ooo0......U ar so not funny slowpoke.

...lenme drop dis lemn 1...A little boy walked into his mom and dads room while they were fighting. The dad yelled, "You b*****!" And the mom screamed, "You bas***!"And the little boy said,"Mommy, Daddy what does that mean" And the parents replied"Um...ladies and gentlemen." And with that answer the little boy ran off to bed.
The next night the parents were really Hot, the dad said "Nice tits!" And the mom, "Nice dick!" And the little boy ran into the room and asked, "Mommy, Daddy what does that mean" "Um...hats and coats." And with that answer the little boy ran back to bed.
The next day was Thanksgiving and all of the relatives were going to be eating and celebrating at the little boys house. The little boywas on his way up the stairs and ran into the bathroom. When he swungthe door open it hit his dad's elbow, (the dad was shaving and he cut himself) "Sh**!" He bellowed. "Daddy what does that mean" "Um,it is the name of the shaving cream that I'm using, now run downstairs and see what your mom is doing." And with that the little boy did as he was told. Meanwhile his mom was slicing the turkey, and she accidentally put her finger in the wrong place."F***!" She hollered and the little boy said ,"Mommy, what does that mean" "Um, it means I'm cutting the turkey."
DING-DONG the door bell rang and the little boy scampered off to answer it saying: "Hello all of you b***** and b******, hang up your titties and dicks. Dad's up stairs whipping the sh** off of his face and mom's in the kitchen fu**** the turkey!"

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN.
* Wine her,
* Dine her,
* Call her,
* Hug her,
* Support her,
* Hold her,
* Surprise her,
* Compliment her,
* Smile at her,
* Listen to her,
* Laugh with her,
* Cry with her,
* Romance her,
* Encourage her,
* Believe in her,
* Pray with her,
* Pray for her,
* Cuddle with her,
* Shop with her,
* Give her jewelry,
* Buy her flowers,
* Hold her hand,
* Write love letters to her,
* Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
* Show up naked ...
* Bring food ...
* Don't block the TV

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.". Churchill's response,"Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it."

A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to hernervousness and the broccoli casserole.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice,"Skippy!".
The woman thought,"This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't evenhesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled,"Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought"Yes!".
A few minutes later the woman had to let anotherone rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,"Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she s**ts 4 ur head"

10 Ten Reasons it sucks to be a dick
1. You've got a hole in your head.
2. Your master strangles you all the time.
3. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.
4. You shrink in cold water.
5. You never get a haircut.
6. You always hang around with 2 nuts.
7. Your closest neighbor is an a**hole.
8. Your best friend is a pussy.
9. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.
10. Everytime you get excited, you throw up.

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and findsa young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husbandtells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he getsangry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

I honextly dnt care if dis an old or new jokes,weda paste n copy,abi copy n paste...I dnt care...Laff if u wan laff,even 4get to laff,na u sabi




A Mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house fora play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother warns. “It is not polite.”
“Ok,” the little girl says. “How much do you weigh?”
“Now really,” the mother says, “these are personalquestions, and really none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”
“That is enough questions, honestly!” Theexasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
“My Mom wouldn’t tell me anything,” the little girl says to her friend.
“Well,” said the friend, “all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card—it has everything on it.” Later that night, the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are. You are 32.”
The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.” The mother is past surprise and shocked now.
“How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”
“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”
“Oh really?” the mother asks. “And why’s that?”
“Because you got an F in sex.”