₦airaland Forum

Mtchw

Simeontaiwo: 17 viwers no comment,hmmm

11 ass,no hole hmmm

~vicky~:

oopsie!!!! it wasnt meant for you

am nt buyin dat,its 4 me

Una no lyk am ni,abi wetin dey do una

PretiEbony: head lyk basin

hahahahaha,na we get dat 1...

Xymc...:
tnks man...

no 2 happy o...

~vicky~:
alright....oya take https://www.freesmileys.org/emoticons/emoticon-animal-023.gif

hmmmmm...Tnx vicky...





Teddy bear 4 sellhttps://www.freesmileys.org/emoticons/emoticon-animal-023.gif

Y d long face...U drink piss?

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard,and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many morechildren with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuanadoesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friendsfor all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray thatscience will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can getbetter; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.
Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I loveyou! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

~vicky~:
^^^^

https://www.freesmileys.org/emoticons/emoticon-char-015.gif

for where...I no go trip,keep on eyein me...

alexdidi: nice and educative

n funny

C una mouth,lyk bckyard

CLIQBOY: Nah romance rum dix one suppose dey nah..abi u sîck?

na til joke...Funny shit...

~vicky~:
.....dont make me say wht u dont like

https://www.freesmileys.org/emoticons/tuzki-bunnys/tuzki-bunny-emoticon-041.gif

i swear to god,it a mistake...Check my oda thread,about 2go,u c,is nt u

*Ar u alwys dis stupid, or ar u makin a special effort 2day?

*Neva try 2 drown ur troubles... Especially if hecan swim.

*SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!
*'Tis far better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

*Smile,n d world will smile with u. Laugh n they'll all think your on drugs

https://www.freesmileys.org/emoticons/emoticon-char-017.gif

~vicky~:
help me ad read it
https://www.freesmileys.org/emoticons/emoticon-char-017.gif

,u undatnd

dopeJemi: AKPOR, its trailer

stupid,trailer my bad!

Just thought you guyz,might need dis like dose of u mey like 2go pass una left leg...Dis ar most of d status use to update my status on 2go...Jst to impress my frndz,d girls most especially...N belv me dey ar triping...

Here ar dey:-

*even without a pencil,i cn till draw ur attention

*no body is perfect,dats y pencils hv eraser

*dnt drink n drive,smoke n fly

*i didnt fall,d ground just need a huge

*NOBODY is perfect,so if any1 tells u e is perfect,then e is NOBODY

*The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water

*Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty,what happened to you?

*Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.

*"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

*Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.

*People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

*I'm neva wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken

*Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try

*Rose z red,facebuk z blue,tweet me ur name,so I cn plus u on google!

*I luv ur smile,ur face, and your eyes - ****, I'm good at telling lies!

*bee or no bee u ar till my honey

*u rememb me of my next gf

add if u hv any n i wil postin more if i rememba them

random things that are useless
*Ducks quacks don't echo. No one knows why.
*Hitler's mother thought about having an abortion, but was talked out of it by her doctor.
*We shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime.
*Like fingerprints, everyones tongueprint is different.
*Right handed people liveon average 9 years longer than left handed people
*A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day
*In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own chewing gum
*"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
*A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
*Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’tadded to it.
*Donald Duck was bannedin Finland for a while because he doesn't wear pants.
*The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
*111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
*The name Wendy was made up for the book"Peter Pan."
*The manufacturing documentation for a Jumbo Jet weighs more than a Jumbo Jet.
*If electrodes are inserted at opposite endsof a pickle, and electricity is passed through, the pickle will glow.
*The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
*Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
*40% of cases a pizza will arrive sooner than an ambulance.
*Most toliets flush in E-flat.
*It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
*The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
*In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
*A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
*The longest one-syllable word is"screeched."
*Frowning burns more calories than smiling.
*1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.
*The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
*The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps.
*If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
*A ball of glass will bounce higher that a ball of rubber.
*Children grow faster in the spring.
*On average, a human being will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime.
*Mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
*A sneeze travels out of your mouth at over100 miles per hour.
*Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food.
*A "dude" is an infected hair on an elephants butt.
*The average person has a total of 6 pounds of skin.
*Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into spacebecause passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
*On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
*On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
*Red is the most commonly colored vehicalinvolved in accidents each year.
*The swastika was origionaly a symbol of peace and honor and is still used by Buddhists today.
*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
*Shakespeare invented the words"assassination" and"bump."
*In most advertisements, the timedisplayed on a watch is 10:10.
*American Airlines saved$40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive fromeach salad served in first-class.
*The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
*Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes

CLIQBOY: where d joke?

mumu...

PretiEbony:

abeg close ur teeth,we no advertise close up here

bunmioguns:

wetin??,ur dog die!

Xymc...:
Lwkmd. . Any1 hu tinks dis isn't 4ni shld go hug transformer. . .

since wen i join nairaland...Na only u i c say u get sense,n vicky,bt vicky dey switch!

babarazy: omg! Did u just call me ur frnd?

nah i meant to say fiend...slowpoke

babarazy: this joke is as old as the poster

sharp my frnd,whr ur own dey...

~vicky~:
ok

read it again...

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tellsthe boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door."Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and istaken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and stillno movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Goodmrng my pple

I was standing in the middle of d road wonderin y trailer got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

Thank u my people...Oya chop nokles

hottprince: wetin eye no go see hw ds 1 take funny.I no even smile
OP stat doin somtin worthwhile wit ur time

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY!!!!!

mumu....

booqee: Soo wait oh, is dat why u opened a thread?! Seriously u need beating! Can't u go to the complaint thread??

abeg cme beat me


i dn dey even cry self,beat me ooo