₦airaland Forum

D advertisers

Nice piece

Dat's nice

Ao does that affect the price of garri.


Na dem sabi joor

Hmmm Governor Amaechi....



In less than 7 months and u are going for 1 billion...

Anyway, am not surprised. Na Naija we dey


Bt u know wat, u need to check my signature

Nice buildings



Interesting......


Bt there is something more interesting in my signature

Na she sabi



Ao does that even affect me


Mtchew...

This is serious

This is becoming interesting

This thread has gone haywire. Tosin Martins, can u see ur handiwork..?

Kano state Governor, Rabi’u Musa Kwankwaso has accused the federal government of deliberately blocking him from using public places to declare his presidential aspiration in Abuja, describing the act as irritating and undemocratic.

He revealed that on two occasions, his campaign committee sought different venues in Abuja for the declaration ceremony but they were denied by the powers that be, noting that as a politician, he knows that with or without ceremonial declaration, any presidential candidate can win intra and inter party elections.

According to him, “the Eagle Square proposed venue seems to be impossible, even the International Conference Centre, as we are now struggling for an alternative venue for the declaration. So, if I fail to secure a venue, I will invite you all to the streets of Abuja, that is where we are now and we can hold it there.”

Governor Kwankwaso, who stated that political conspiracy will not deter him from pursuing his legitimate goals, recalled that in the past, he participated at least in12 elections, both primary and secondary, at various levels and scaled through numerous political intrigues.

The governor who stated this on Monday while meeting with APC stakeholders at Africa House, Kano Government House, revealed that the declaration date was originally scheduled for 21st October, 2014 to coincide with his birth day, alleging that forces in Presidency disrupted the plan. He added that the programme was shifted to 23rd October but was also allegedly aborted, assuring that despite these hiccups, the declaration would take place on the 28th of this in Abuja.

Gov. Kwankwaso use the forum to appeal to people of Kano to come out en masse to collect their permanent voter card between 7th and 9th of November this year, in the state, stressing that no one would be allowed to vote without the card. Therefore, he urged people to sacrifice these days for the exercise due to its importance in the nation’s democratic process.

The governor then informed the gathering that the date for the APC primaries in Kano is yet to be fixed, assuring that as soon as the national headquarters of the party finishes arrangements for the primaries, relevant stakeholders will be duly informed.

He maintained that although consensus would be better option for Kano APC, the party has not stopped anyone from purchasing form for the various elective positions and has no intention of denying anybody from pursuing his or her legitimate aspiration.

Meanwhile, APC stakeholders from Jigawa state have expressed support for the presidential ambition of Governor Kwankwaso, considering the way he transformed Kano state.

Chairman of the Jigawa branch of the party, Alh Ado Sani Kiri made this known to newsmen at Government House, Kano, after they held a closed-door meeting with the governor at Kano Government Houseon Monday.

Alh. Ado Kiri said Kwankwaso, as a leader of APC in Jigawa and Kano states, has put the party on the right track, adding that leaders and supporters of the party are happy with party’s activities so far.

HALILU IBRAHIM DANTIYE,- DIRECTOR OF PRESS AND PUBLIC RELATIONS TO THE GOVERNOR OF KANO STATE

See What Pastor Kumuyi Told Gov. Fayose


The general superintendent of the Deeper Life Bible Church, Pastor Williams F. Kumuyi has urged the Ekiti State governor, Mr Ayodele Fayose to rule the state with the fear of God and imbibe the tenets of integrity, transparency and prudence.

This came as Governor Fayose promised not to allow power to go into his head and to resist any attempt by sycophants to mislead him during his second chance, which he described as “rare and divine”.

Pastor Kumuyi gave the advice at the Deeper Life Camp in Ado Ekiti, during the thanksgiving service to commemorate his inauguration as the governor of Ekiti State yesterday.

In a letter addressed to the governor by the general superintendent of the church, presented and read to the congregation by the church’s national secretary, Pastor Jeremiah Asemota, Pastor Kumuyi said, “Leadership, either temporal or political is divine. It is given by God. So you have to know the extent you have to go in moving closer to God as you preside over the affairs of this state. Be prudent with resources management and work for the socio-economic development of this state”.

While giving her testimony, the wife of the governor, Mrs Feyisetan Fayose disclosed that God gave her the revelation of her husband’s return shortly after his impeachment on October 16, 2006.

Mrs Fayose, who spoke before the mammoth crowd that thronged the Church camp, said “God revealed to me that my husband, Mr Ayodele Fayose would return as the governor, but he never told me the time.”

“God told me that our return would be done in such a way that will beat the people’s imagination. But because of the trouble we went through, at a time I prayed to God to please push my husband out of politics. Later, God told me that He will leave him there for him to prove His power.

“After we left, Gen Tunji Olurin came, Segun Oni and come Governor Kayode Fayemi and today God has manifested His power. This is not by our power or strength, but by the grace of God”.

Mrs Fayose disclosed that her husband facilitated her closeness to God 19 years ago, when he took him to Deeper Life, “where I found God because I was deep in worldliness in terms of dressing and behaviour. Today God has taken my life and I thank Him for restoring our lost glory”.

Governor Fayose, in his remarks said he had forgiven all his traducers and that he sees nobody as enemy to fight, declaring that “Having a second chance is very rare. If this time has been in Bible days, my name would have been one of the names to be recorded as those who God gave a second chance.

“My return to government is not common in history. It is a rare miracle. During the seven and half years of my political wilderness, I was taken to Court over what I knew and knew nothing about 59 times aside the 45 days I spent in Ikoyi Prisons during my trial by the EFCC.

“My Security aides and political aides like Chief Dayo Okondo were incarcerated for three and half years without committing any offence. I won’t allow sycophants to derail me again.

“All my property were left in the Government House because I had to run for my dear life. So, this time my mission is to look after Ekiti people and not to fight anybody. I will not allow this position to go into my head or use it to oppress anybody. I don’t have anybody in mind to punish or any political battle to fight”, he said.

He also promised to treat the traditional rulers with utmost respect , particularly applauding them for taking a harsh stand against he accused of conniving with the judiciary to stall his inauguration.

However, in a statement signed by Chief Press Secretary, Mr Idowu Adelusi in Ado Ekiti yesterday, Fayose has appointed Mr Lanre Ogunsuyi as Special Assistant on Information and Civic Orientation.





Source: Leadership

The massive celebrity divorce cases in recent times have raised questions in different groups. Everyone seems to be asking. Why do celebrity marriages fail? In an exclusive chat with Adetorera Idowu, sex and relationship expert, Praise Fowowe, highlights 5 reasons why celebrity marriages fail.
Upbringing
I always tell people that there is nothing called a bad marriage; you can only have two bad people or one bad person upsetting the system. People attribute marital breakups to several reasons but the part no one talks about is the upbringing of the people involved. If you have not been brought up as a whole person from childhood, by the time you get married you are already destroyed and naturally you won’t be able to run a marriage.
Unhappiness
We often assume that because a person can speak English or act or sing, we assume the person is sane but most of the time I realise this is not true. When I counsel people and they tell me they are not happy in their marriages, the first question I ask is, “Have you ever been happy in your life?” And they realise they’ve never really been happy.
Wrong intention
People get married for the wrong reasons. Some because they feel it’s the next thing to do. Some feel because they have money, while some others do it because all their friends are married. These reasons signal that your reason for getting married is wrong.
Only dead people can marry successfully. You have to be dead to yourself, dead to your ego; dead to what you think is right, dead to culture, dead to religion, dead to a whole lot of things. I’ve been married for over 8 years so I know what I’m talking about.
Pride
If I didn’t know many of these celebrities 10 years ago, I would have thought they were not born in Nigeria, because of the quality of lives they are living. Some of them wore patched up school uniforms while some were from extreme poverty. Suddenly, they start making money and they become totally different people.
It’s shocking that we are in such a hurry to catch up with Hollywood. We are not just producing like them; we are beginning to act like them. For those who find themselves on the red carpet consistently, when they get married, they don’t know how to switch from red carpet to domestic mode so they still carry the red carpet mentality into their homes.
At home, I’m a husband to my wife, a father to my children. I’ll be stupid to expect my wife to accord me the respect my fans accord me. She did not marry a celeb, she married a Praise Fowowe. That’s why I don’t know the difference between red or green or blue carpet. When people live their lives thinking that endorsement deals are a big deal then there is no way their marriages wont crash.
Low self esteem
We have people who think that being on the red carpet is a big issue. If you find yourself on the red carpet and think you’re bigger than the whole world, you have a self esteem problem and self esteem has nothing to do with whether you’re a celebrity or not. I realise that people who behave like that are people who are very poor. Poverty has nothing to do with money; poverty is a thing of the mind. When you’re mentally poor and you have something that looks like money, you’ll be rude to people.
I’m free enough to eat roasted corn on the road.
Because you’re a celeb, when your car breaks down you feel pressured, meanwhile it’s a normal thing. If I have to go from my office to Opebi and there is traffic and I have an appointment to catch, I will pick a NAPEP and go where I want to go. It doesn’t change me.
When people have low self esteem, it manifests in so many ways so we call it irreconcilable differences. Irreconcilable difference is another word for immaturity. Mature people can reconcile every now and then.

Friday 22 August 2014
Saudi Arabia has beheaded at least 19 people since the beginning of August in a surge of executions, the Human Rights Watch (HRW) has said.
The deaths relate to the period from 4 to 20 August and are included in the 34 deaths ordered since the beginning of January.
According to HRW, international standards require that capital punishment should only be reserved for the “most serious crimes” in countries that still use it.
Offences that resulted in the Saudi Arabian death penalties in August ranged from drug smuggling and sorcery.
Four smugglers were executed on 18 August for smuggling a “large quantity of hashish” into the country amid an effort by King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud and the government to tackle the social ill of narcotics and warned that anyone else doing the same would also be punished “according to Sharia”, the Saudi Press Agency said.
In pictures: Ten places where most executions were carried out in 2013

The men were all part of the same family and their deaths were condemned by Amnesty as being part of the “disturbing” surge in executions. Reuters reported that their confessions may have been obtained through tortureMohammed bin Bakr al-Alawi was beheaded on 5 August for allegedly practicing black magic sorcery, the Saudi Gazette reports, while according to Amnesty, a mentally ill man, Hajras al-Qurey, has been sentenced to death for drug trafficking “after an unfair trial” and will be killed on 25 August.
Al-Qurey’s son had reportedly confessed to drug smuggling and said that his father was unaware that the contraband was in the car.
The elder claims to have been beaten into confessing, despite repeatedly exclaiming that he was innocent and that he suffered a mental disability. He was held criminally liable despite an examination finding symptoms of mental illness including auditory hallucinations.
His son was sentenced to 20 years in prison and 1,000 lashes.
“Any execution is appalling, but executions for crimes such as drug smuggling or sorcery that result in no loss of life are particularly egregious,” said Sarah Leah Whitson, Middle East and North Africa Director at HRW.
“There is simply no excuse for Saudi Arabia’s continued use of the death penalty, especially for these types of crimes.
“The current surge in executions in Saudi Arabia is yet another dark stain on the kingdom’s human rights record.”
Other executions included that of a Saudi who had been convicted of killing his wife with a knife while she slept, and another man who allegedly tortured and beat his toddler son to death.
“The recent increase in executions in Saudi Arabia is a deeply disturbing deterioration. The authorities must act immediately to halt this cruel practice,” Said Boumedouha, Deputy Director of Amnesty International’s Middle East and North Africa Programme, said earlier this week.
“The death penalty is always wrong, and it is against international law to use it in cases involving non-lethal crimes and where evidence used to convict the person is based on ‘confessions’ extracted as a result of torture.”

A Kaduna-based renowned Islamic cleric, Sheik Ahmed Gumi, has called on a former Head of State, Muhammadu Buhari, not to contest the 2015 presidential election.
The cleric rather suggested that Mr. Buhari should back a younger person to run for the position.
In an open letter to the former head of state, posted on his Facebook page, Mr. Gumi argued that age is not on the side of the retired general and that politicians were only using him to get to power because of his popularity among the masses.
He also said a Buhari presidency would further polarise the country and worsen the security challenges the country is grappling with.
“My brother in Islam, please listen to the words of wisdom,” Mr. Gumi said. “And don’t follow the whims of the riffraff Before they used you the first time to disrupt the second republic, my father advised you against it. Today I am also advising you against contesting in the 2015 presidential election because you will be used to ignite the nation -a dream well orchestered several years ago- and also be used by bad people as a ladder to grab regional and local powers.”
When contacted by PREMIUM TIMES, Mr. Gumi confirmed writing the letter. He said it was his own contribution to peace building in the country.
“I have to write him (Mr. Buhari) that letter because we don’t want crisis in Nigeria,” he said.
Mr. Buhari last week formally declared his intention to seek the APC presidential ticket at a well-attended rally in Abuja. The following day, he obtained the party’s nomination forms.
Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar is also seeking the same ticket just as Kano state Governor, Rabiu Kwankwaso.
Below is Mr. Gumi’s full message to Mr. Buhari.
Assalamu Alaikum
The Humble People’s General.
I know I have access to you privately but this is meant for others to learn also.
The Prophet -peace be upon him- told one of the most honest and truthful of his companions, Abu Zar Algafary: “Oh Abu Zar, I truly love for you what I love for myself. I indeed see that you are weak so never accept to lead even two people and never accept safekeeping of the orphans wealth.”
An honest and candid advice from the prophet that is still valid today for any leader whose weakness borders on leadership qualities.
The reason for Abu Zar’s weakness has nothing to do with his credibility or truthfulness. Never! The prophet was narrated as saying: “there is nobody under the shadows of trees or bare sun that is more honest in speech than Abu Zar”.
Abu Zar – May Allah be pleased with him- is ascetic and inmaterialistic. Abu Zar is incorruptible. And yet he is not suitable for leadership.
I am not claiming to be even by an atom’s weight anything close to our noble prophet, yet I am encouraged to give you these same advice by the virtue that you are not also close to Abu Zar in piety. We are living in a time of great tribulations and fitnah especially for this Ummah because of our collective iniquities, ignorance of religious instructions and the love of Dunyah.
Sir, your weakness is not in your past impeccable record of accountability of public wealth and the fight against corruption and indiscipline. Your weakness is in your inability to control men compounded further by your strict and obsessive rejection of corruption.
Don’t be surprised. You may need to understand that Islam being a pragmatic religion allows the use of Zakkat and public wealth as an instrument to pacify and lure influential people for the sake of righteousness, peace and stability. In modern governance today it translate to security vote.
Thus men are also controlled by money. So if your policy of governance is obsessibly centered on sealing tight the use of money, you will have great problem with men. An Arab poet said: “A fool cannot be the leader of his people but the true leader of the people must feign foolishness”.
It’s convenient for your ardent supporters to quote copiously from the annals of history your great achievements but when your failures and weaknesses were pointed out they say that was in the past. Is the lessons of past history only good for the positive achievements? Doesn’t that also explains our incessant failures?
Your Excellency, good intentions are never enough. In the past, because of your clean records and straightforwardness you were lured by men who want only the vanities Dunya to uproot a young democracy on the caprices of fighting corruption. Corruption is no doubt an evil but there is a more monstrous evil than corruption. That is turmoil and insecurity. Peace and stability are the most important part of governance that no price is to high for them.
The lack of peace, stability and security is the major predicament of this nation since independence. So when you were naively used by men to derail one, that is the greatest disservice you committed to the nation the ills of which we are yet to recover from.
Do you truly believe Allah is still not in cognizance of that? You were led to uproot a duly elected leader and incarcerate him for close to two years knowing fully well that he has no charge of even the corruption that was labeled against him. Yes, Shagari was the leader and therefore he bears all the responsibility of misdeeds in his government, so also you were a leader and you should bear all the responsibility of derailing the peace and stability of governance in this country as a consequence of that putsch.
Your weakness in control of men became evident when the very people that used you to revolt against a constituted authority came back to uproot you from the seat of power. Your own kinsmen. Without a gun cocked in your defence.
Today the corruption you were deceived to fight against has reached unimaginable level coupled with the worst state of insecurity and peace in the nation. There was just recently an attempt on your life like many of us.
All this because you the honest people that are given the privilege of strengthening the Armed forces left it to meddle in politics. We thus lost everything. Neither the power nor the security.
A believer is not stung from the same hole twice. Men used your innocence before to get power and dump you. Please be sensible today. Some other men still want to use you to get power and surely they will dump you again. You don’t share the same philosophy at all. Even though as I explained later, your obsession and philosophy of fighting corruption is not the priority of Nigeria today. What Nigeria needs utmost now is peace and stability? This can only be achieved when the religious ethnic and regional divide is tamed. And you can only tame it with people without much precedence. People without much following. Yet people that are constructive and have the ability to control men.
If Sardauna today is alive in your situation he will never contest for the presidential seat because of his deep understanding of what the nation needs. He will step down for a more acceptable younger person. It’s on record that Sardauna even at the age of under 60 said he was not going to contest again, preparing his only house in Rabah for retirement.
I’ll give you a similitude to buttress my point of priority. A person seriously injured and fractured from a road traffic accident when brought to the emergency room, the first priority of the doctors is to secure an intravenous line. Meaning get a drip set working into his veins to protect his vital organs like the heart and kidneys from the effects of shock and loss of blood. The fractures, even though serious and the source of the blood loss, may take days and weeks before they are even attended to beside the superficial dressings.
Nigeria now needs peace and stability first. Then we talk of good governance later even though it’s the source of the predicament we are facing.
The present government has already charged the situation and played the religious divide to its advantage. It’s in circulation now, a SW pastor calling on Christians and the church to vote Jonathan as their only Saviour. This religious card will be used to cover his deficiency in governance.
Your Excellency, you should understand too, that many, if not most of your supporters, are also looking up to you to protect them from the onslaught on their religion and region. This also the Christian will never believe the otherwise.
Therefore the stage is set for religious confrontation which is the least the nation needs.
What we need as a priority is peace and stability.
From my view, if APC can support as an example Ameachi or Okorocha/Kwankwaso or El-Rufai or Tambuwwal ticket and the PDP will have Akpabio/Muazu or Ribadu or Shekaru, the next four years will. – insha Allah – witness stability both in the north and south. And the electoral body will get the necessary infrastructure that subsequently the next election will be free and fair and the true reflection of Nigerians.
If you may ask, why can’t this same peace be achieved with you and another Christian running mate?
Gen. you have antagonist, and they are many and also as ardent as your supporters. Your supporters have the biggest proportion of the underprivileged of the society which is the petrol that can be easily ignited by the slightest spark. The spark will be when you’re declared the loser. And you know you can very well lose if the Christians follow their church -and why not in this era of mediocrity.
On the other hand if Jonathan comes back. BH will be real not the political one we see. The turmoil will engulf the whole country not only the north. That is why I also call on PDP to present some other candidates.
My brother in Islam, please listen to the words of wisdom. And don’t follow the whims of the riffraff. Before they used you the first time to disrupt the second republic, my father advised you against it. Today I am also advising you against contesting in the 2015 presidential election because you will be used to ignite the nation -a dream well orchestered several years ago- and also be used by bad people as a ladder to grab regional and local powers.
I rest my case here.
My best regards and condolence for your recent loss.
May Allah guide you and protect you from the evil men and the jinn. Amin.

Just passing by....... I can't laff

Ex-international says Eagles star needs to play elsewhere

Former Nigeria international, Victor Ikpeba, has advised Jonh Mikel Obi to call it quit at Chelsea.

The former African Footballer of the Year said this on a DSTV programme, Monday Night Football monitored in Lagos that the Super Eagles star must think of playing for another club rather than wasting his time on bench at Stamford Bridge.

“Mikel should move on, he needs to go out where he can get more playing time,” says Ikpeba
“You can imagine how competitive his role is at the club, and he himself is apparently doing nothing to stage competition with the likes of Matic, Harzad among others.”

“Really, he needs to go out and show what he can do well elsewhere rather than making himself redundant at Chelsea.”

Mikel started his official football career at the age of 12 when picked as a talented footballer from over 3000 young talents to play in Pepsi Football Academy.

In the summer of 2005, the former Lyn Oslo star played for Nigeria at the FIFA World Youth Championships held in the Netherlands. He had an excellent tournament until Nigeria reached the final, where they lost 2–1 to Argentina. He also won the Silver Ball after being voted the tournament’s second best player behind Lionel Messi.

Music artiste, Tosin Martins has revealed in a new interview the reasons why women of these days are not submissive the way their mothers were.

He also said that any man who isn’t ready to overlook the weakness that come with submissiveness may have problem with the marriage with his woman “Our women today are of a different breed. Our women today are not really like our mothers. The average woman today is not as submissive as their mothers and a guy who is not ready to overlook that weakness would have a problem with marriage. These days you have to argue and defend your views and if it goes well, all parties can then agree. It shouldn’t be that way; there is a certain measure of honor a woman must give a man as the head.

Stating his wife as an example he said she is submissive the very way she can “she does her best to be fair to her. She is probably maybe not as bad as your average girl. But the truth is today’s woman struggles with you saying yes and she just agrees. She would want to know why. She wants to give you her own side of the story. She thinks she is making sense and you are not making sense. Today, a woman tells you she is traveling; she is not asking you for permission. There is some individuality taking place. It’s a major struggle”

According to him this is because the women of these days are busy making money and want to express their own voice. “I think is majorly because they have become their own people. They are as educated as you are; they are working as you are working, they are earning money and you are, they have a world view like you have. They are empowered now and have their own voice and want to express.” He said.

The Speaker of the House of Representatives, Aminu Tambuwal, has attended a meeting of the All Progressives Congress, APC, in his home state of Sokoto, sources at the meeting have told PREMIUM TIMES.
Associates of the speaker said his presence at the meeting, Monday, may herald his official defection from the ruling Peoples Democratic Party, PDP.
Mr. Tambuwal’s defection has long been expected.
While he has remained officially a PDP speaker, Mr. Tambuwal is believed to have long fallen out with the party. He has been absent from key party functions for a while.
One source at Monday’s meeting said Mr. Tambuwal told the gathering to accept him as “one of you starting from today”.
The Sokoto meeting was for APC officials to choose a consensus candidates for the state’s gubernatorial and other elections.
Another source at the National Assembly also confirmed Mr. Tambuwal’s presence at the meeting.
Asked about his possible defection, the source said if he attended the meeting “what does that tell you, will they allow someone that is not their member attend their meeting?”

adepiero:
reverse is the case for Nigerian couples. During wedding they will be as thin as broom stick! give them six months after that and they would have grown to the size of a Buffalo.

Some men still watch their weight but women! lailai especially after birth, to shed baby fat na gbege

Na so my brother

julisa2020:
they both lost weight before their wedding...probably worked out in the gym

Dat is it

This is another pix

What do u notice about these couples before and after marriage?

lymelyte:
I just tire for the OP oo.

Very funny. I be black too o

Lose Respect of Their Peers

About 50 years ago, marriage revered and the expected right of passage in the black community. However, things are much different today. Marriage in the black male community is not the thing to do.

Today, men are afraid of marriage because they feel they will lose the respect or approval of their friends. It is negative peer pressure at work, but they shouldn’t feel this way. As you evolve in manhood, you find out if people don’t respect you for your choices, then maybe they shouldn’t be in your life in the first place.

Give Up Their Freedom

Black men feel like marriage means they will no longer be in control of their lives. They will have to submit to the whims of their tyrannical bride in order to keep their marriage a happy one. You know the saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

In order to avoid this loss of freedom, they avoid marriage all together. They rather not marry in order to be able to come and go as they please. Hang out at the clubs, engage in their hobbies, just live their life the way they desire without having to be responsible to another person, but this is just a lack of maturity and understanding of marriage because it doesn’t have to be like this.

The only way this reality is true is if you marry the wrong person. The person that wants or demands you to fit into their box instead of appreciating you for the person you are. Black men need to understand marriage isn’t a death sentence on their lives, but an opportunity to share it with a wonderful person if they think with the head above their shoulders, not below, and select the right mate for them.

Losing their Friends

I have listen to black men say they don’t want to give up their lives, friends, and social life in exchange their bride and family. You might think i’m kidding, but i’m serious. They act as if there is no way their new life of marriage can co-exist with their friends, but it can.

Don’t Want To Give Up The Player

This is real. Black men grow up being taught the player life of dealing with a bunch of women, never sharing your life with them or falling in love is how men SHOULD deal with women. This viewpoint retards black men when it comes to marriage and relationships because they don’t want to give up the player life.

Most men cannot fathom life with one woman or sex with one person for the rest of their life. They think it will get old and boring, but no one is telling them how wonderful it can be. Being able to be open, honest and your real self with one person is something special and both of you are willing to go to new heights with one another.

Belief In The Marriage Stereotypes

You must be aware black men believe all the stereotypes of marriage and want nothing to do with them. They are certain their wife is going to nag them to death about any and everything. The wife is going to transform into a sexless being that is all about money, the kids, and wine. She is going to be come a strict task master who only wants to see her Honey-Do list completed.

This belief is funny, but you can tell black men are only getting their information from non-married people or unhappily married men. These stereotypes are wrong and off base DEPENDING ON WHO YOU MARRIED. I think it is most important to select the right person to marry and if you do, then you will live a wonderful married life. If not, you could be come one of these bitter men walking around perpetuating these marriage stereotypes.

Classic Fear of Commitment

It is true, black men have the classic fear of commitment most people talk about when it comes to marriage. Being with one person is something that seems unnatural to most black men. They are afraid to be vulnerable and completely giving themselves up for another person in addition to all the horror stories they are told about marriage.

I think this fear is a natural feeling all people experience. However, in my marriage I have found it to be amazing. Yes, my wife and I have had our rough patches, but we have stuck it out and things are getting better and better. There is nothing like coming home to that one person that knows you best and she has a big smile on her face because has been wanting to see you all day.

The Nightmare Financial Investment

women tend to dream about the fairytale wedding, but men think about the nightmare wedding expense. This is very true. men really don’t dream about the wedding day. It is just an expense to them. Besides, how many people do you know who have spent $20,000 to $50,000 on their wedding day and end up divorced?

Answer: TOO MANY! men think about this constantly and find it to be foolish, but will do it if their bride insist.

Personally, I think weddings are a waste of time, but if my wife wanted to have one, then we would have. Fortunately, she didn’t want a wedding either and things seem to be working out great for us. 13 years later, we are still happily married and looking forward to an empty nest so we can resume our courtship without the in home responsibilities of raising a child.

Read more on courtingher.com

1. Common Courtesy Can Go a Long Way. “My experience was difficult at first. But, when I realized that they didn’t dislike me, they just would miss their son, it all changed. Respect, honesty and common courtesy goes a long way. Eventually, the F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real) goes away, guards are dropped and you realize you’re now an extended family – not a discontinuation of one.” -Jenny Campbell

2. Seek Advice Without Accusation. “Understand that they have loved your spouse much longer than you. Never put them in a position where they have to defend their child. Seek advice without accusations. Celebrate them for their support and encouragement of your spouse.” -Frances Siple

3. Extend Grace. “…the key to our relationship is respect and grace.” -Melissa Stratton Sanchez

4. Treat Them As Family. I have always looked at my in-laws like they’re my blood and it has made it so much easier to get along. We have all worked hard to make it important to us, though. It’s not always easy, but it has to matter enough to you to keep on working on it! -Laurina Rose Hendrickson

5. Be True to Who You Are. “Being yourself. Eventually it will work out. If you try to be something/someone you’re not, it will only cause everyone problems down the line.” -Karen Royalty Smith

6. Have Your Spouse Resolve Conflict. “When there is conflict between me and whomever, I talk it over with my husband and he talks to them. For one, they’re his family and he knows how to talk to them, and for two it takes him out of the middle – he doesn’t have to choose between me and them, he helps to resolve any conflict instead of letting one build.” -Tresa Koester

7. Give it Time. Realize relationships take TIME to build. One or even several large scale fights do not mean you cannot have a relationship. You may be very different people and it takes TIME to look at the world from another person’s viewpoint with love. Don’t give up. Always be kind. Give it time. -Tristan Roszkowski

8. Accentuate the Positive. “I love my mother-in-law. I think it helps to try to accentuate the positive. She is loving, giving, and incredibly kind. Of course, there are quirks that irritate me now and again, but in those moments, I try to remind myself that she is only doing what she thinks is best based off of her experience.” -Brittany Nielson

9. Include Them. Including them in all aspects of our lives, calling several times a week and including them on our family vacations with the kids. We WANT our children to have amazing memories of their grandparents. One day, WE will be the grandparents and would love the same respect. -Lori Ann Kennelly

10. Do Not Differentiate. “We never differentiate between “YOUR family” or “MY family”. It’s always OUR family from the day we were married. We love and respect each others parents and they love and respect us. We laugh, love and support each other as much as we can.” -Barbara Rocco Adams

11. Let Them Out of The Box. “For me, it has been to let them out of the little box I thought they were supposed to fit in. To be patient. To love and accept them as they are! I think I expected them to be like my family, and they are not. And that’s ok. It’s great, actually! They’re awesome!” -Stacy Smith Bishop

12. Remember Who They Are. “Remembering they raised and love the person you love and enjoy their company.” -Jeanine Parrish Giuliano

13. Remove Pride. “Love! Not being so prideful myself that I ignore their wisdom and love. They truly love me as their daughter and I love them as parents. Love never fails!” -Molinda Bailey

14. They Are Not the Enemy. “Mutual respect, not looking at your mother in law like she is an “enemy”, set healthy boundaries early on, communicate well, and a hug truly goes a long way.” -Alaina Marie

@ Donkaz, since this write up is not for pple like u, pls leave for dose pple that need it. Mtchew...

If you’ve been dealing with some problems in your marriage, you may be wondering if you should confide in a friend or family member. We all need to talk about our problems from time to time, but it’s important to be very selective about what you discuss with other people. Did you know that talking about issues that you’re having in your marriage or complaints that you have with your spouse, may only make things worse? Here are some reasons why you should think twice before telling others about problems in your marriage.

1. NO RESOLUTION

Most people don’t feel that any harm can be done by talking about their marital problems. Usually they just want advice on how to resolve the problems that they are having. Sometimes they’re simply looking for someone to listen to them, while they express their frustrations. Perhaps they just want reassurance that everything will be okay. Even if you have the best of intentions, talking about problems in your marriage may not resolve anything. You may spend hours discussing the problem only to find out that nothing gets fixed.

2. YOUR SPOUSE MAY FIND OUT AND FEEL BETRAYED

My husband will admit that he doesn’t like for others to know about things that go in our marriage. He feels that conversations regarding our marriage are private and should only be discussed between the two of us. I must confess to you that I have said negative things about my husband to others in the past. While I have admitted to my husband that I have spoken unkindly about him and apologized, I am sure that he felt betrayed by my actions. I now see that I should not say anything to anyone about my husband that I wouldn’t say in front of him.

3. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET AN OBJECTIVE POINT OF VIEW

If you’re speaking to your mother or sister, it’s going to be tough to get an objective opinion and that’s understandable. Your family loves you and will be more likely to side with you. Even if it seems like someone is being objective, you should be careful of what you say. When you ask their opinion you’re opening the door for them to express their feeling and concerns about your marriage and you may not like what they have to say. You may find that they have never liked your spouse and completely disagree with the choices you’ve made. They may also feel that they have the right to express their concerns about your marriage in the future, even if you don’t ask for their advice.

4. IT MAY BECOME PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE

If you tell your mom about an issue in your marriage, she may feel like there’s no harm in telling your dad or your grandma about the situation. If they decide to tell other people, you may have friends or acquaintances calling you to see what’s going on in your marriage. This could leave you very upset with your mother and other members of your family. When you can, try to remember to only tell people information that you don’t mind others knowing. It’s also best to avoid talking to anyone about your problems who has a tendency to blow things out of proportion.

5. YOU COULD GET BAD ADVICE

When you ask for someone’s advice, it may not be what you want to hear. The person you ask may have a negative outlook on marriage because of their own situation. This may cause them to give you bad advice without meaning to. Also, if you’re speaking with someone who doesn’t like your spouse, they’re likely to give you bad advice too. Always be careful if you think that the person you’re speaking with could be in a similar situation because your conversation may cause them to start thinking that they have problem in their own marriage. There may also be times when the person you confide in feels that you are in the wrong and if you’re not careful it could cause you to have hurt feelings toward them as well.

6. YOU’RE NOT PRESENTING A UNITED FRONT

While it doesn’t matter what others think about your marriage, it’s not good for people to think that your marriage is on the rocks. When you constantly bad mouth your husband or complain about problems that you have, it doesn’t take long for people to start thinking that your marriage is in trouble. After a while, you may start to think that you have a bad marriage too. This could lead to disagreements that with your spouse that could have been avoided. When you present a united front and people see that you are happily married, they’re less likely to attempt to cause problems in your marriage.

7. YOU MAY REGRET IT

There have been many times that I’ve regretted talking about my marriage to people. I definitely regret speaking negatively about my husband. If you have to speak with someone about a problem you are having, try talking to your spouse first. If that doesn’t help, perhaps you could try writing your thoughts down in a journal. This will give you a chance to think about the situation before discussing it with someone else.

I am a talker and I know first hand that there are times when talking with someone about your problems is the only option that you have. If you really need to talk to someone other than your spouse, be sure that the person you’re confiding in is someone that you can trust. Have you spoken to someone about problems in your marriage and then regretted it later? I can’t wait to hear your stories.

@leon prince, am not gay. It was actually copied and its a lady's opinion