₦airaland Forum

He will contest na him way

Stupid set of people, he don die like fowl

Nice one. God will do our own this year.

People will think he love God, where he is doing it for election.
Nigerian government will soon do copy n paste.

Rip. In this tough corona time.

If i hear, so 2baba, fela, dbang dey sell guguru? Davido u dey jump.

Anyways, it is good to hype yourself.

I hope those mumu wizzy fc will stop the comparison and let people rest on Twitter.

Abi dem won release mad jam?

I whish say lionel messi or c.Ronaldo will say something like this, so that fans will stop fighting.

If I hear, so 2baba, fela, dbang dey sell guguru? Davido u dey jump.

Anyways, it is good to hype yourself.

I hope those mumu wizzy fc will stop the comparison and let people rest on Twitter.

Abi dem won release mad jam?

I whish say lionel messi or c.Ronaldo will say something like this, so that fans will stop fighting.

Naija246:
the biggest mistake in my opinion is to even consider marriage

Guys should know that you will enjoy your life far better when you are single than when married.
Being single affords you the luxury of:
-developing new skills
-saving a chunk of what you earn
-it affords you the opportunity to travel more.
-you will age slower(due to less stress)
Etc
The benefits of single life for a man far outweighs the pros of being married.
We men are doing Women a HUGE!! favor by marrying them.

guys, don't let any lady sell you the idea that marriage benefits you.. it's a scam!!
Marriage benefits Women not men!!
Hoard your ring!!

I dey reason d matter oooo. Have kids buy don't marry.

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Nice one op

All this end time yeyebrities.

Nice bum though.

Wow! nice we are getting their. Na Grammy remain.

ProfAmaben:
Don't ever tell me that, you have your belief, I have mine. Christians and moslems always have this odd mentally that they reign supreme whereas they are filled with bile and hatred for humanity.

Don't mind him, they just like trespassing.

It look stage

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

....u have forgiven him, which is good, pls and pls don't let him stay in your house, u don't know what he will do next. Thank God things turn out better when u move out of his house,imagine if it was otherwise.

That guy has something that he is not telling u,maybe something u have done in the past.

Davash222:
Treat her the way she treats you! Don't be crossing express for someone that can't cross a gutter for you.

You know the risk of crossing express these days. Be careful.

I dey like advice like this, no time for bible or motivational talk, we need brutally honest advice to strive in this life.

BigJoe19:
You think it's easy for a 20year-old to live on his own in this country, it's like you are not from Nigeria. Most under 22years old that do not stay with their parents are mostly yahoo boys and drug addicts.

She fit dey date yahoo boys and drug addicts

Davash222:
You did well.

Try and get yourself a foreign girlfriend when you're ready to hook up again. Stay away from Nigerian girls.

Pls how do I get a foreign girlfriend?
I will really appreciate your feedback.
Thanks.

Op u are not serious, better go find work
#neverwork alone.

The IG was surprised that policemen were attached to him in the first place.


Surprise?

See this one ooo. Who una want dey deceive?

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

Na u sabi. Be looking @ people face u here, I pity u, better move on with your life if your story is true.
U don't need any religious leaders on this issue, if u listen to religious leaders u may likely go back to that man, except u don't want to have sense. U need people to be brutally honest with u.

Pastors! Na there way. Well, u can forgive the man but BUT DONT EVER! EVER! EVER! LET HIM BACK INTO YOUR LIFE.

That's why he day love-vendor anyhow.

In ice prince voice " I feel good u know,I feel nice" living a bad job.
Especially all those job that can kill career.

Eg mikano, miniso, lebanses, Indians,corona people and private schools.

They will kill your career, me I still dey recover.

Pot calling kettle black

If buhari do half this one,people go won crucify am. I don't like buhari ooo but his is too extreme.
The guy get the owner of the hotel for mind.

Trust social media, after the out cry is either he apologize or he go compensate the man codedly.

Sermwell:
My tithes goes to my aged parents every month!! If they want to pay tithe from it, that's their business!! even when I have not earn anything for 2 months now, I still sent my tithe to them!! can someone tell me if anything is wrong with how I tithe??

Boss nothing is wrong ooo. That's one of the best way to pay tithe.
It is better to give those women that sweeping the roads your tithe, than to give those God of Men. How can someone carry his hard earned money and give somebody that his driving rose Royce or private jet.

jimmyolasun:
I don dey organize my squad and ponpo for that stubborn man wey dey otta. orders don dey.. na to beat some people enter coma

I wish i fit go with u. Make i give some people free slap.
Na church be the last place wey suppose open because they don't have relevance.

galaxy2020:
I hope the company will not later lay them off?

Don't mind those mumu. They will now be relying on Nigerians to help them shout via social media.

Wonderful

2cato:
Any body who sick is now a suspected coronavirus patient

What sick country

Yes, anybody that's is sick should first be attended to as a covid-19 patient.

It will be very sad as a health worker,after treating somebody that u think as malaria, but later find out that is covid-19.