₦airaland Forum

laykorn:
Aminho, I did a review of your piece, putting in brackets, expressions I think would best fit some respective positions. I made a punctuation check too.

This is an awesome work. There is a mouth-gaping naturality to the flow of the work. Please make sure you write more, and read more too sir. Well done!

By the way, is this fiction?

no its not fiction it's my love story I wrote it in like 20minutes I was just angry and have nothing to do so I decided to just express it, hope you like the story line

Well this is a little short story I wrote this morning please writers in the house rate me up its from my heart about how I feel right now!!!

[b]Love is a gift share it that's what I grew up learning but later on in life I learned that it's all a fairy tale, it all started like child's play but later on feelings were hurt and shared it's not a blame game rather an expression of a sad dude with pain.
No gain saying I have been noting short of loyal to you someone you can rely on everyday and night but you failed me you have never given me a sign that I could rely on you even though you know I could go to the moon for you, we have had fights like everyone else but we always makeup and continue our relationship which I value much,
I have never loved someone in my life like I love you which you clearly know cuz I have said it a thousand times and showed you in a million ways, my love for you has no bounds
we've known each other for two years now and counting and my love for you kept growing, we have a lot in common and deep inside I know you love me but then again why not just show it? Are you ashamed of been seen with me? If so just let me know.
Every morning I wake up with the hope of you saying those three words but I guess now it will never come, what pains me alot is that you show a fling of affection towards my friend my friend of 8 years I see how you pay attention to him he calls you pick he ask you out you oblige but anytime I ask it comes with a lot of excuse...
What you should know is that I don't share cuz it seems like that's what you want to do but what you should know is that you have thought me a great lesson which is never trust a friend,I won't have felt this way if it was another guy but him? Common give me a break!
I don't smoke I don't drink and I don't follow random women if I do I won't have written this but the love I have for you blinded me to wait for you make up your mind but to no avail!
If you said you want to study me before you will fall in love with me by you could have gotten a diploma on me! But then again you have your reasons which I don't know, if only you know how much i love you I don't see you as a girl I want but a girl I need, I see you as someone who I can spend my life with which you know i can, I am financially capable of takin care of you and your needs which you can testify to that, but what will I get in return pain?
You have humiliated me a dozen times but I always over look it cuz it's you but then again am I been just to my self? I will sacrifice alot to call you my girl but will you?I can't keep on lying to myself that one we will be together.

Some might say there are alot of girls in the world must it be you, to me you are prize less and I want you but there comes a time where a man will decide what's good for him I am so young to kill my self because of love and that's why I want to move on I have taken my time and I have waited patiently but it seems you don't need me in your life,so why continue to pursue what I can't get?
 I have tried my best and now I hang by boots I can't continue to be a scapegoat and a plan b the day you decide to love me  you know where I stay and you have my contacts but for now I will go my way and trust me I will continue to love and support you from afar! ![/b] Written BY AMINHO

Well this is a little short story I wrote this morning please writers in the house rate me up its from my heart about how I feel right now!!!

[b]Love is a gift share it that's what I grew up learning but later on in life I learned that it's all a fairy tale, it all started like child's play but later on feelings were hurt and shared it's not a blame game rather an expression of a sad dude with pain.
No gain saying I have been noting short of loyal to you someone you can rely on everyday and night but you failed me you have never given me a sign that I could rely on you even though you know I could go to the moon for you, we have had fights like everyone else but we always makeup and continue our relationship which I value much,
I have never loved someone in my life like I love you which you clearly know cuz I have said it a thousand times and showed you in a million ways, my love for you has no bounds
we've known each other for two years now and counting and my love for you kept growing, we have a lot in common and deep inside I know you love me but then again why not just show it? Are you ashamed of been seen with me? If so just let me know.
Every morning I wake up with the hope of you saying those three words but I guess now it will never come, what pains me alot is that you show a fling of affection towards my friend my friend of 8 years I see how you pay attention to him he calls you pick he ask you out you oblige but anytime I ask it comes with a lot of excuse...
What you should know is that I don't share cuz it seems like that's what you want to do but what you should know is that you have thought me a great lesson which is never trust a friend,I won't have felt this way if it was another guy but him? Common give me a break!
I don't smoke I don't drink and I don't follow random women if I do I won't have written this but the love I have for you blinded me to wait for you make up your mind but to no avail!
If you said you want to study me before you will fall in love with me by you could have gotten a diploma on me! But then again you have your reasons which I don't know, if only you know how much i love you I don't see you as a girl I want but a girl I need, I see you as someone who I can spend my life with which you know i can, I am financially capable of takin care of you and your needs which you can testify to that, but what will I get in return pain?
You have humiliated me a dozen times but I always over look it cuz it's you but then again am I been just to my self? I will sacrifice alot to call you my girl but will you?I can't keep on lying to myself that one we will be together.

Some might say there are alot of girls in the world must it be you, to me you are prize less and I want you but there comes a time where a man will decide what's good for him I am so young to kill my self because of love and that's why I want to move on I have taken my time and I have waited patiently but it seems you don't need me in your life,so why continue to pursue what I can't get?
 I have tried my best and now I hang by boots I can't continue to be a scapegoat and a plan b the day you decide to love me  you know where I stay and you have my contacts but for now I will go my way and trust me I will continue to love and support you from afar! ![/b] Written BY AMINHO