₦airaland Forum

Samantha125:
How is it that traditional marriage doesn't mean religious marriage but your white wedding is religious?

If you think traditional marriage is not spiritual, then you're either in denial or just choosing to play dumb... Traditional marriage is also spiritual as it it involves the unification of both the groom and the wife's ancestors, therefore, spiritually binding them together.

And according to your understanding, what is a fetish practice?

You are struggling so hard to equate traditions with fetism and that is surprising.
The way a group of people communicate,eat, settle dowries, dress, pass on information, plan family systems, worship, educate, execute justice and morality, respect people, elect leaders etc are all forms of traditions. They don't require fetism to happen. Overtime some of the traditions overlap and change. Some drop part of the traditions and pick others which was why I requested that you look at enculturation and acculturation to see how they affect people and their traditions.

Marriages all over the world have gone through evolutions in the last 200 years and keep evolving till date. Why are you stuck on fetism?

See below definition of tradition:

an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (such as a religious practice or a social custom)

I watched the nurses do this. Most husbands will feel this pain for their wives and wish they stopped having babies.

chatinent:
Christians often point to David as a man after God's own heart and the Bible as a source of objective morality. However, passages like 1 Samuel 18:25-27 feature God's chosen king collecting the severed body parts of 200 dead enemies just to pay a dowry. Not just severed parts, David mutilated and took their joysticks to the king as dowry.

How do you reconcile a holy God favoring a leader who engages in this kind of graphic warfare and humiliation?

1. Saul forced David's hand as a king would to his soldier subject. Case is on Saul and not on David. David was obeying the last order as a soldier.

2. David was also desperate to marry the King's daughter who already was in love with him. Who wouldn't want to marry the President's daughter?

3. This was a war time narrative. All the nations then do some of these things during war.

4. That all nations did and still do terrible things during war time doesn't imply God's approval. Humans in their fallen state will always choose to do good and evil sometimes.

5. God loving David isn't hinged to this act. God loved David because of his humility, deep thrust and dependence on God, ability to recognize his mistakes immediately and ask for forgiveness, his love for God etc.

5. David wasn't a saint, had his issues once in a while and was also punished by God for some of his mistakes.

1 Samuel 18:20-23, 25-29 NIV

[20] Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased.

[21] “I will give her to him,” he thought, “so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” So Saul said to David, “Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law.”

[22] Then Saul ordered his attendants: “Speak to David privately and say, ‘Look, the king likes you, and his attendants all love you; now become his son-in-law.’ ”

[23] They repeated these words to David. But David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law? I’m only a poor man and little known.”

[25] Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’ ”

Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.

[26] When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed,

[27] David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.

[28] When Saul realized that the Lord was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David, [29] Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.

https://bible.com/bible/111/1sa.18.20-29.NIV

Kobojunkie:
1. The first verse is the most famous, which points out that the world(a figurative metonymy) is a reference to the Israelites in the context of John 3 vs 13 - 16.

Again, the notion that the YHWH OF Israel loves mankind is all created from religion.

You are wrong in those 2 points.
Religion didn't introduce God's universal love for humanity. The Bible is clear on that. All who come to God will not be rejected by him. All people everywhere who fear and acknowledge him will be saved by him.

Do you mind sharing how religion introduced God's universal love?

Kobojunkie:
The book never in fact states that the God of Israel was an all-loving God. Not one passage or verse in all of the books of the Israelite Scripture claims His love extends to all of mankind. Rather, the idea that he loves all mankind was invented in religious circles.

Another thing is that the YHWH of Israel's definition of love differs entirely from yours or that of many religions out there. Something else to keep in mind. For instance, if you are under the idea that YHWH of Israel's love would treat your dead body in what humans describe as a humane, then you are entirely wrong.

The Old Testament and the New Testament of the Bible records God loves all humans and desire that they be saved, especially all who seek him.

I think you are mixing these things up.

Even in the Old Testament where God particularly started special interest in Jacob and his descendants, clearly many non Jewish people were shown love by God and later became part of his people.

BarrElChapo:
Thank you for this wonderful question. I know you’ll not get any reasonable answers 😂

Reasonable answer? As how now?
Do you think the question is reasonable? Lol.
Why is the question reasonable to you? Let me hear your thoughts please.

Samantha125:
You're not answering my question... Why have traditional wedding ceremonies if you don't believe in tradition?

There is no sane adult who doesn't believe in traditions. Every society has traditions and the people who make up the society are expected to follow the traditions which often aren't always fetish or demonic or evil. Marriages, family pattern and structures, respect for elders and leaders, worship systems, farming systems, market systems, educational systems, dress patterns etc form part of traditions.

Overtime, traditions change and evolve with enculturation and acculturation. It's normal.

There is no culture anywhere that has not been directly or indirectly diluted by another.

To your question, traditional marriage doesn't mean fetish or religious marriage. It means marriage according to the customs of the people like bride price or dowry payment, settling of the inlaws and all parties involved, seeing everyone involved, fulfilling all demands or almost from the village etc. It has nothing to do with deity but more to do with the way of life of the people.

Christians are from a place and when they follow the pattern of their culture in this, that is what is called traditional marriage.


"an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (such as a religious practice or a social custom"

SultanYoung:
what metrics did you use to call him smart in this ill fated argument that he could have paid and move on.

His response is a smart one.

Peter Obi is a very smart guy.
The chain of events and the rhetorics is quite interesting. His responses are always on point and tend to expose a lot of things

This is brutal.
Obi meant business here.
So the road has been fixed after Obi's comments.
Interesting

Kobojunkie:
Stop badmouthing marriage already! 😒😒😒

What that picture shows can be interpreted in a multitude of ways....
➜ A man who, knowing he had not much to offer, went ahead and had himself more children than he could handle anyway
➜ A man who is down on his luck, but still has the know-how, diligence, and perseverance to get himself out of the hole he currently finds himself in
➜ A man who unexpectedly found himself needing to take care of children belonging to someone else
➜ A man whose father imposed on him the care of his own siblings from either the same or another mother
➜ A man who has spent all of his money fighting against the powers-that-be in the courts, only to end up poor for it at the end of the day
➜ A man who has had to spend his money trying to treat his sick wife/child, while the rest of the family has had to bear it with him
➜ A homeless man who was welcomed to manage and share with a poor family....

Stop downloading random pictures online only to then use them are backdrops for your private ignorance.

You are right. Any of these scenarios is possible. Thanks for seeing it from a different perspective.

We deeply appreciate all our security forces who made this rescue happen.
God bless them, keep them and their families.

I am happy these children and the teachers are finally free.

MikeofKd:
True I know great men that became shadows of themselves simply because they lost their marriage , the women gave them hell.
The wrong partner is a death sentence , it can kill any man. May God help us all men.

You summarized it.
A wrong partner can destroy everything plus one's future prospects.

Dshocker:
Two things are involved

1.... The economy has rendered a lot of men broke

2.... The girls have gone haywire, zero morals, and aren't fit to be made a wife.

Great point. It's complicated. Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. You need money to run a home especially when children come into the picture.

If you marry a wrong partner with loose values, it gets more complicated for you.

There are many however who have been blessed by God with responsible and understanding partners. Such persons are very lucky.

Kobojunkie:
The way some of una dey reason...e dey make am clear to see how Africa ended up in the hands of the most incompetent and corrupt. 🤔

Most times you come off caustic in your comments while engaging others. And you also insult others.
That's not nice and doesn't portray you in good light. It doesn't even make you appear more intelligent and articulate than them.

If you think you have a superior argument, just lay it there and let the other learn and engage you in a civil manner.

Stop it or tone it down gradually if you can't stop it.

lalasticlala:
It's one year already.

Happy birthday to my twins - Delight and Destiny.

#Ejima #Ibeji

Happy birthday to umu ejima gi nwanne ukwu!
O ga a diri ha na mma!

I didn't know you are still here on nairaland.
Cheers

France. They are exceptional, mercurial, nimble, deadly strikes. Almost all are major stars

But a mosquito can draw blood from us easily even while singing in the dark. Why would nurses struggle to do same even in the full broad daylight?

USA'94 was memorable after our feat at Tunisia 94.

We enjoyed all the Super Eagles matches from Bulgaria to Greece to Italy.
Most of us thought Greece was a walk over but they improved at the end.

Rashidi Yekini, Amokachi, Amunike, Ben Okafor et al.

Sirchiboy:
Please what is your experience so far getting married to them

All tribes are good. Pray you get a good woman. Pray you reciprocate by being a good man, husband and father.
My wife is Igbo and one of the best woman you can ever get anywhere. 15 years.

tiswell:
PO is a wise man.
He already made his point in those few words.
He who has ears let him hear!

Yes. Peter Obi was very smart on this. He will still be criticized by some people but the punch of the criticisms will not be as hot as it would have been if he had attached Pa Adeboye. A smart move.

Caaz:
I missed kunu zaki and kunu gaida.i used I use to prepare it for my family before but my mynd just comot .



But you masa and wain/kilisi I don't joke with ithem.

I have my freezer currently stocked with kunu aya I prepared for my family. My boys like it anytime they come home for holidays.

Tiger nut + dabino + coconut. Delicious and cool.

CorrectionFLuid:
.
Atheism get as e dey do.

At first you'll be like a mad man, attacking what you feel is blindness in others, anywhere and anyhow you can.

"Can't you see" crew. "Open your eyes" crew.

It's also at this stage that some decide that African religion is best for them.

'Awa forefathers" crew

You want to be seen. You want to be heard. Everyone is foolish except you. And you desperately need to prove a point.

As you get older in atheism, you realize that people should be free to practice what they believe.

You go calm 😂

You begin to realize that science doesn't know it all. You realize that only life begets life, and if there's life, there must be a source, and if there's a source, there should be some history... A single source... A creator, or progenitor.

But current religious stories of creation is and still remains crap.

So you begin to lean more towards agnosticism, and laugh when you see new atheists behaving the way you used to.

You are smart and appear experienced.

From agnosticism back to skeptical theist. From skeptical theism back analytical and smarter Christian.

The bible account on creation in Genesis, Job and Psalms is not crap. However they are complicated to understand. The best explanation so far about origin of life and humans is the Bible. The best explanation also about God comes from Jesus of Nazareth claims recorded in the scriptures and his historicity also recorded in non biblical sources.
His resurrection from the dead seals his claims of connection to God.

Goldrosewine:
This does not imply sexual interests, abeg o just bored today on this holiday and I have decided to rant here, since I saw a similar post recently about a guy saying confidence is what a lady cannot resist in a man. I won't appreciate any unsolicited messages🙏

Dentition: Gap teeth (you know what I mean, especially a small one right between the central incisors) or just between the lateral incisor and canine)

Thick wrist (not fats deposit, just wrists with a wide circumference)

Minimal or no bodily hairs. Yeah a lot will hate me for this, just my opinion which may change or not. But those beards, chest or armpit hairs? Taah!

Height. However you must not be too tall. I am 5:9 so anything from 5:6 to 5:11 is perfect.

Modesty and awesomeness (not extreme masculinity) I am not a feminist abeg. I like guys that are gentle, pull the chair for you at the restaurant, hold an umbrella for you, hold the door open for you, just being a gentleman. Absolute modesty and simple too. Not a show off dude haha!

Healthy lifestyle. There is nothing I dislike more than a guy who smokes or drinks or do both. I don't just dislike them, I h-word them. Take your good health seriously guys, go for rehab if you need to.

Small inner circle. Guys with few or no friends. The introvert who enjoys his own company.

Respectful. The guy that still prostrate to greet his dad at 30 years, still run errands for his mom at 35 (not necessarily because he is living with them, but maybe sometimes when he visits or when they give him an emergency call) that level of respect is the norm for every omoluabi.

Not bald. As much as I dislike body hairs, e no reach head abeg🤣

Belly fat. (Not pot belly) I love belly fat in a man, especially the type that gives him the wealthy boy vibe when he's in a native. I don't know but in Benin republic, I once saw this muscular, six pack guy that bullied people and he had an altercation with this gentle guy who looks ordinary, he even had a fatty belly. Against what people thought, it was the muscular guy that needed saving o, see blue black beating. Lol. It kind of left an impression on me.

Speech intelligence. Even if you no know book, just have good oratory skills and be eloquent. I would like to see my man on a podium speaking with great eloquence while I sit in the crowd or assembly just admiring him and looking at how other ladies are admiring him😊🥰🥰🥰 aiish

Phobia. Scared of snakes or rats or spiders or cocroaches lol even my cousin would tell me I will never find this trait in a Nigerian man. But I am not scared of those things. So I would really like a guy that has such fears, that way I would be able to do something for him and it would make me feel good🤦🙈 it's hard to explain honestly.🥲🥲


Ambitious. he dreams big, not jealous of success, just envying it and ambitious to reach the top too.

Laughs a lot. That would be golden!

He cries. Like, weep Take this from me. If you ever express your sadness in tears while in your girl's arm, it does something to her heart... she'd start clutching to you so hard. Don't be manly all the time. Sometimes, just let the feelings flow. Life is already hard for everyone, talkless a man.🥺 I feel u guys.

Straight legs No vex but I dislike wobbly legs... and many guys have come to have a sort of disfigured legs due to bad walking posture, trying to copy one silly trend or so, etc.

Gentle with kids and pets That would be another golden trait!

Extremely decent with words and actions when in public The way he eats, talks, interact, just everything. Especially in Nigeria where people judge you by your countenance and how you 'carry' yourself.

You know the sort of guys that gleefully talk about women's body parts in public? That's so uncouth and all ladies detest such.

Gold🌹🍷


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-95cqxPow4?si=RfwAJTJ6f6g1w_fg

You are bold, intelligent, articulate and a free-minded fellow.

May God grant you your heart desires.
You will definitely see a man with 80% of these qualities but then any available man with these qualities will be young and not too established. You will grow with him.

Curiously,what man will openly show weaknesses like phobia for those animals? Or can cry easily?

yarimo:
Oby ezekwesili you have never react or condemn IPOB terrorists activities in your state, just a reminder

Read the room. Are you always like this in real life?

Panda7:
Bro put call regularly, especially during the evening when you think she must have returned from work and prolly relaxing. Crack silly jokes, inquire about her day/work, tell her you want to visit, ask her to visit you, talk about feeding. Don't act shy, only drop sm messages in the morning., people have tight schedule bro and prefers to speak rather than chat then also wants people to know they are talking to someone. Don't call (often) in the afternoon if she works.

This is it. Way to go. After that you can then draw conclusions

enemyofprogress:
PASTOR AYO, WHERE WAS YOUR "ANOINTING" WHEN CANCER CAME FOR YOU?

If you're religiously emotional or you dislike the truth, please, don't read further.

This post isn't an attack but it would tear your soul apart, but like I always say, when your soul is healed yiur vision will be healed...

So, Mr Ayo Oritsejafor just came out to tell us he was secretly battling cancer.

He spent months receiving treatment abroad, flew to the United States, and spent over $120,000 in medical bills before he recovered.

In fact, in his story, he claimed at one point the cancer had spread to other parts of his body. He couldn't breathe, got rushed back to the hospital, developed a serious infection that doctors had no medication for, and nearly died on the operating table before an elderly doctor stepped in.

And he's telling us all this now, as a testimony. Of course, like always, people will celebrate and rejoice.

Well, I rejoice that he is fine now!

But here's what nobody wants to say, because you're afraid or ignorant.

This man leads a congregation.
He has laid hands on sick people.
He has told people God heals through him.

By his own admission, he was standing in front of his church, laughing and smiling with cancer eating through his body, and he said nothing.
He didn't heal himself.
He didn't pray it away.

In fact, there's no acclaimed man of God he called to ask for healing.

He just booked a flight and found doctors. Chakam!

I hope you're learning?

Like I tell people, if you have any ailments, the first point of call is go to the hospital, use herbs or use medication that can treat you based on the recommendation of your doctor.

That is perfectly fine. That's what any sensible person should do.

Now, the problem I noticed about Mr Ayo is the double standard.

The same men who tell their congregation "touch not God's anointed" and "speak it into existence" and "your healing is already done" are the same ones quietly flying abroad for chemotherapy and surgery.

I have told you, you people don't want to believe, God has healed more people without any contact with a so-called man of God than you people claim; you don't need a man of God to heal you, you can say your prayers in the corner of your room and get your healing.

God will heal you, if He wants.

But you see the reality, these people you call Pastors send their children and wives abroad to get premium intensive medical care, because they can afford it with the same tithe and offerings and seeds you've invested into their "church".

See, they don't use their own theology when their own life is on the line.

That should tell you something.

...someone reading this post is planning to quote Paul's thorn in the flesh, but I will burst your bubbles. There are several schools of thought as to the specific "thorn".

...but then Paul himself said he prayed three times for that thorn to be removed and God told him no, that His grace was sufficient.

Paul was transparent about his weakness. He didn't build a money making avenue around "healing ministry" and then hid his sickness from the very people trusting him.

That's the difference. I hope you're getting the gist.

The apostle Paul's thorn actually destroys the argument of these modern "healers".

If anything it proves that even the most anointed person in the New Testament couldn't simply command sickness away.

So what exactly are today's pastors claiming to have that Paul didn't have?

Nobody is saying God doesn't heal. The question is whether these men are channels of healing the way they market themselves to be.

Because when it's their turn, they rush to Johns Hopkins in the US, they don't reach out to other men of God like them, they run to the hands of medicine.

See, I wish you can be as wise as your General Overseers using you... If you're sick, go and run test and get treated, instead of sowing seed, invest the money in your healthcare account.

Denominational Christianity in Nigeria has become a performance industry.

God is real and all powerful. But a lot of the men on those pulpits are selling something they don't believe in enough to use themselves.

Nouf said; may God open your eyes!

Copied

You look like my kind of Christian.
I am a dedicated Christian but also one who asks critical questions some are afraid or angry about.

We respect the men of God but I also expect them to respect everyone and speak the truth from the scriptures.

God alone heals and performs miracles whenever he deems fit.

Additionally, God cannot do for us what we can do for ourselves. If we have access to medical care, God expects us as rational humans to appropriate such. But when we genuinely come to our wits end, God steps in and does miracles. Miracles are not done just anyhow by God. I think they are few and far between.

This is also my problem with all who claim their speaking in tongues clears their problems and gives them special powers. I don't believe it. I just don't.
I believe every follower of Jesus of Christ has the Holy Spirit in them.

socoharley:
I was raised by a strict Christian parenting but today I am an atheist... Jesus is all a myth

You just helped resolve the issue the OP is pointing at.

Christians can grow up and leave Christianity.
Children born in atheistic homes can grow up and become Christians. Hence it doesn't always follow that one is a Christian due to birth

1. Prof John Lennox a profound mathematician and bioethist from Oxford University
2. Sarah Salaviandar, an erudite Astrophysicist.

A kind and smart woman who loved you whole-heartedly when you had nothing may still whole-heartedly support you if you resign and consciously find another work elsewhere.

The few months out of work, she can still help you until you are stable. Why bite the finger that feeds or fed you? That is disloyalty, irresponsibility and lack of tact plus emotional intelligence.

The guy may end up losing both the job and this smart lady plus her goodwill and referrals.

Well my submission is based on her account and may change if we also hear from the guy.

Lol!

All of these on top chameleon?
Please what is the economic value of chameleon to us? I understand it's part of the ecosystem but what really is it's economic value when ranked with other issues bedeviling us?

I got motivated by the way our Intro Tech teacher taught us electricity. I assumed I needed to prove a point to my father that his boy was growing.

I unscrewed a junction box in the house and got confused how the wires were joined together. I mistakenly touched 2 naked wires and the shock was very fast. I didn't know when I ran outside the house and never neared electrical connections again.

Some other time my father bought a fake electric clipper back then. Because I had mastered the art of cutting hairs with 2 combs and a razor blade inside, I tried to trim my father's hair with that confidence and messed up. Many of his neighbors in the market kept asking him which barber did that to him but j protected me.