₦airaland Forum

Ofadaman:
Can I ask you a question, if your husband travels to the village with your daughter and his brother defiled her (a two yrs old girl), and he comes home without telling you anything ,hiding the whole thing , until you hear it from someone else. What would you do

I agree it is a terrible situation. Sometimes human beings procrastinate in doing the right thing hoping to find a better way of breaking the news. That was her mistake. I believe she would also be carrying a lot of pain too. Remember, she is the real mother and my anger or your anger cannot compare to hers. But one does not burn down one's own home in order to kill a rat. That child needs both her parents at this time. She will need to heal. The whole family needs to heal. At the end the whole family must find a way to heal after tempers and hurt have abated a bit. Doing more harm is not the way to go even though you may get a fleeting satisfaction but it does not solve anything.

You have to remember that your daughter is also her daughter. She carried her for 9 months in her womb. There is no bond stronger than that of a mother and her child. You can imagine how devastated she would have been to discover that her own brother (who is also a a minor) raped her daughter. How do you solve this problem without attaching stigma to the whole family including her child? Everyone would have been pressuring her to tamper justice with mercy. You are right to be angry but your anger should be directed at the perpetrator. Your daughter and wife (with you) are the victims of this abominable act. Do not make it worse I beg you.
Try to reconcile with your wife and heal together. The next step would be to determine what steps are applicable within the law to bring a 14 year old to book. Get justice for your family which must also aim to reform the individual and prevent him from becoming a bigger menace to society.
Good luck and God bless!

Shame! The same people who criticised the last government without any police harassment cannot take criticisms. This APC government has been nothing but evil and a disaster. I know they are already planning how to rig the next elections because they believe in conquest rather than consensus. Why would any democratically elected leader persecute their own people for speaking out of their frustrations? Instead of pacifying the youths, they attack violently! What a shame really!!

[quote author=Gten post=118747867]Soji bishop, connecting with his congregation at their level and drawing them to Christ. Thank God man no be God, if not, nairaland assistant Jesus for don kill bishop.[/quote :


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ModestGal:
I read a post about how males like girls that are wife materials and that prompted me to write this post
I grew up in a loving family where everyone is a good cook except me including the boys
As an original Oyo girl, Right from JSS1, my parents and grandma's would tell me how a woman should know how to do housechores and cook well, since that's a way to a man's heart.
Since that time, my mum and siblings tried their best to teach me how to cook,clean,do housechores etc but unfortunately,years and years after, I am unable to learn it

I don't know how to clean or do housechores. I don't know how to do laundry as well. I can't boil ordinary water and 90% of time, when I plan to boil water to make Eba, I will burn the water. I have many younger ones that I was already10 years when they gave birth to them, now these girls usually tell me the quantity of salt to put in stew. That one is even worst, sometimes I wonder if magic is what many people use to put salt and maggi in foods because I can never learn that skill lailai.

How on earth will I know the quantity of salt to put in several sizes of stew? Most times I cook without salt and maggi because I prefer my food to be tasteless than having too much salt. So I just tell myself that, girl, you are living a healthy lifestyle, you don't need salt. Or tell myself, maggi is cancerous and I enjoy my meals unless I have someone cook for me

When it comes to taking care of home, I hate to fold and arrange cloths, so 99% of times, my room is scattered. I don't receive visitors and I usually tell people that my room is bad, but many of my friends would insist to come and once they are with me, they help me arrange my cloths

Now, shebi since men naturally like wife material, im not supposed to find husband, so since secondary school, before I became a full blown feminist, I already told my mum that she should forget mee getting married, that home skills is not for me, each time she mentioned, you will not find husband if you continue like this

But alas, na lie. I usually tell guys about myself, im very vocal and confident about my personality. I will tell men, friends or not,that I don't know how to cook, I don't know how to clean and I have anger problem, (I get angry at petty things), but most times, they wont believe me. They will come up with either im pretending not to have those skills, or they will give me excuses that its not my fault, and some will even offer to be my cook, lol.
Regarding my temper, most of these guys would offer to take me for therapy
Ands lastly,im evidently Ugly, and I will tell them that, im also ugly, we can't date, but nah, they will offer to take me to spar to treat my pimples, blackheads etcetera

So my question is where are the guys looking for wife materials? Because I have never come across any guy who wants a wife material in real life except on social media

I know girls like to compete amidst themselves of who cook the best, I seriously don't know why you girls do this because men don't care in real life. Infact, men dislike girls with those skills and I have seen many good home keeping girls that got their heart broken.
Try and give yourself class and don't cook for any one nor allow yourself clean for any guy.

As a female, we are a gift to humanity. And that's enough favor to men, the fact that we go to heaven and come back during childbirth just to bring a baby that both belongs to both of us to the world is enough favor.
As a girl, don't marry a guy that doesn't know how to cook, clean,do laundry etcetra

Right now,the reason im single is because im yet to find a guy with good cooking skills, most guys can only cook indomie. for no reason will I marry someone that wont be able to give me good foods despite me raising our kids. Please girls,stop lowering your standards, because men don't actually care. I mean men, not boys

@OP unfortunately, most Nigerian men won't find in you the characteristics they are looking for in a wife. That doesn't mean you are not a wife material as there are a lot of men who don't mind if their wives cannot cook, clean or any of those other things you mentioned. So you will be wife material for a lot of Nigerian men just that you will have a smaller pool to choose from. Ultimately marriage is about love, happiness, selflessness and mutual respect. As long as you find the right person you can share these with, you will be fine.
P.S oyinbo men are also available

Prometheus666:
There was cellphones even in 1600s. Google the Tartarian Empire. The civilization then was more advanced than now with flying cars, flying homes powered by electromagnetic field mechanics.

Those classic houses in US, Europe etc where built by the Tartars and Moors.

There was an Old world before the present world order. And there is New World Order, world order changes every few hundred years.

LotaTee:
I guess the husband has not been satisfying his wife sexually. Pregnancy comes with a lot of packages including high libido, make he no vex. I'm sure she meant no harm.

Amosaloud:
@OP, I just have one question for you. How did she ask you out on a date?
Was it
A) When are you free, let me take you out?

OR

B) Won't you take me out?

They have different meanings o

At the end of the day though, nobody should be gluttonous on the 1st date.
Splitting the bill means paying half of the total consumed at the table, not just paying for what you ate or what she ate. And if you are going to split the bill always have that discussion beforehand. Even most oyinbo women go wait for you to pay bill unless u agree to split the bill or she offers at the end of the date .
Champagne is not cheap, which brand of champagne did she order?
Na the 3 meat pies tire me sha

@OP, I just have one question for you. How did she ask you out on a date?
Was it
A) When are you free, let me take you out?

OR

B) Won't you take me out?

They have different meanings o

Godisgreatest1:
Number (4)....maybe we should blame Bolu.

It appears to be an old case that was extensively thrashed out here a while ago.

FeliciaOja:
I have never felt so much anger when I remember what happened to me.
I stay in Benin, my younger brother visited me 2 days ago.
It has been 2 days of katakata
The boy is 19 this year
He is doing security guy for one plaza
But I'm planning to send him back to my parents after what happened last night

I came back weak and tired from work and my phone battery died
As I tried to open the outside gate. I found out it was locked. We only lock it only from 9pm
But it was 7pm
My neighbour had travelled, and I gave my brother the key, so I started knocking the gate for my brother to open.

I knocked and knocked and knocked no response. I shout his name no response and my phone was dead.
I was practically lock out of my own apartment
I shake gate, knock and knock still no response.
I was sooo angry and some people saw me and thought I was a crazy girl knocking at somebody house.
Can you believe that I was locked outside from 7pm till 11pm.
My arms are swollen from knocking for too long
No place to go and my co workers live far and no way to call them. It was a nightmare

Out of nowhere I summoned courage and climbed the fence with broken bottles and sharp metals.
Hmmmmmm for my own house wey i pay for.

I was praying nobody see me and think otherwise cuz it was around 11pm
Especially vigilante groups
Na so I jump enter almost break leg

Well done for offering to help your younger brother as he tries to find his feet as a man. I am not sure how long ago you left home yourself and are still familiar with his character. It may just be youthful exuberance mixed with the ego of Edo men, that's why he is not showing appropriate remorse. I would advise you to notify your parents, as his behaviour may not come as a surprise to them. Secondly you need to lay down some ground rules if he intends to continue living with you. He must not come back after 10pm or else he passes the night where he is. No drinking or smoking at home. Must contribute a portion of his salary towards feeding at home. No bringing of male or female visitors to your home. Must attend church service every Sunday with you unless you are atheists, Muslims or traditionalists. In charge of specific cleaning chores in the house.
If he objects to any of the above then please send him back to his parents as soon as possible.
Warm him that you will not tolerate similar behaviour in the future and be ready to pack out of your home if he commits the same offence. You may just be saving his life with some tough love.
For those saying that you should take it easy. They should train their younger ones with Indian hemp. Imagine if it was a younger sister doing this, would you take it easy?
Good luck and hope everything turns out well for all of you

sonnie10:
Don’t make it sound like you were talking about new loan. The point you made was that an existing mortgage amount would increase from 1500 to 1900 due to the recent increase. And I am telling you that, existing mortgage does not change with interest rate. It would only affect those taking new mortgage or refinancing.

It would affect you immediately if you are on a tracker/variable rate mortgage

So so sad. May his soul rest in peace.

As to asking your friends abroad to provide a reference for a stranger,that is a no no. That is the height of stupidity to do that. He should go and ask for reference from his own contacts.

I really don't get the reason for this post. You are asking for advice from strangers who don't know your wife's character or yours for that matter. I think you already know the answer to the epistle you have written up there. Has your wife cheated on you throughout your marriage? Or have you previously been suspicious of her? Have you been a bad husband or father? Do you cheat on your wife? Do you beat your wife or have been abusive to her? If your answer to all the above is NO (be sincere to yourself), then there is nothing to worry about. Just continue to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Stop monitoring women, you will only give yourself high blood pressure. If she is cheating, it will surely be exposed someday. Not by mere speculation and amateur detective work you are doing without any concrete evidence.
As some posters have pointed out, you are projecting an aura of insecurity from your post. Abi your wife is so beautiful that it is making you restless/insecure in naija?
Someone gave me good advice a long time ago, "remove nose from woman pant, so that you won't smell her menses one day". In short focus on what you will do when you relocate and how to sustain your family.
Good luck bro

This is really wrong. I suspect he is a carer/support worker and he is banking on the fact that this vulnerable old lady does not understand pidgin english to make this video. The problem is that some people will see this video and believe his fake story. I hope he gets dismissed from his job and made to face the law. Imagine using someone's mother/grandmother to catch cruise

@OP, did you use a condom when you tried having sex?
As some reasonable posters have mentioned here, pornography does make a lot of people lose interest in normal sex. Porn is not real and when you find that the experience is not the same as real sex as you don't get the same visual overstimulation, it affects your erection.
Kanye West is still battling the same problem and even when married to Kim Kardashian was addicted to porn.
I also agree anxiety could be playing a role here.
I think you need to first stop masturbation, if you drink or smoke also stop that. Make sure to check you are not diabetic. Initiate sexual intercourse with a partner you really like and comfortable with. Explain that she may need to be patient with you until you are ready.
Good luck