Soon an Otondo would be born...
Soon a new page be turn
The journey of years gradually coming to an end
Life we've spent, memories made, foes and friends.

Soon there would be one in khaki
Soon there would be one in white shorts, shopping in mammy
Soon an Otondo would be born.

An Otondo who have lived for several years
But not as an Otondo, for sure, yes
He had spent time staring at different pages
And those time became ages
Of pain, joy and love
Of hate and many moments he could, yet, not get enough.

Soon an Otondo emerge the stage
With dreams, hopes and aspirations brimming his baggage
May this world goodies not hide from him
May the Creator's mercy on him continually beam.

For years I have been struggling with thy truths
Always with the Jezebels never seeing the Ruths.
May this journey lead me right
To you, Creator of all, I bequeath, this fun filled night.


Dedicated to all prospective Nigerian Youth Service Corp Member (Otondo).

A very rhetorical piece filled with deep truth. Nice one.

Wow! This poem is like a fire to the bones.. alas dry bone, up ye get and rise again!! You really nailed it 'Muser'. Though I think you might like to look at this line again:
-Those people who 'thinks' I am not 'wealthy' to accompany their trust.
Nice creativity. My part of the poem is actually the last stanza. For me, that is where you killed the Goliath .Don't blame me though, I'm just a warrior and I like dominance.

Nice one... But watch out for your spellings carefully, (it adds quality to your name!). And also your lines, are you using end rhymes, or internal rhymes or you just combining the two? Though i think it would be beautiful if you arrange the lines properly so the end would rhyme. Nice creativity though.

mrjoshyssb:
SIKIRATU: Broda mi, e ma binu, I want it hardi o!

You really doing well with the diction. This is just the way a typical local Yoruba girl speaks o.. .
You should cross check your work, I think you are speeding things up and by so doing, making some little errors and omissions in your writing and spelling. Nice creativity though.

mrjoshyssb:
BRAVO

Thanks....

[quote author=Khrisfame post=50687461]"Yes. Just feeling a little tired, that's all.".....
Who is talking here...the author or character? Young man, why raise up somebody's interest, like this, without finishing your work? "

"Yes. Just feeling a little tired, that's all.".....
Who is talking here...the author or character? Young man, why raise up somebody's interest, like this, without finishing you work? "

Very interesting piece. O boi do com finish this story sharp sharp...

Hi beautiful people, my hands just got 'itchy' and this turn out to be the outcome. Your review and comments are highly welcome.
Thanks in anticipation.


There is something you hide in your pant
Even though everybody knows it's there
Leaving it open is something you can't
Yea no sane person dare.
That stuff you got, I garrit too,
But we are both hideous of it like a cat's poo.
There are two types; it's only like this or like that
And everyone, normally, have one in their pant.

In your pant, there is the greatest thing about life
Determining how you'll be treated, how you love and strife.
The power to replenish this earth and this race
The source of your strength, feelings and face
The ability to give life, stocked in that which you got enpanted.
And don't be surprised, for because of it, many can get enchanted.
Little Angelica, today she run this street n*ked
But tomorrow there will be men in hundred
Staring for their lustful hunger be fed
Don't you know there is no bigger way to paint the town red?
There is that thing in your pant, child
When it meet with the other you can go wild.
Moans, whimpers, shouts and shakes
This is the one, true, sweetest of all cakes
Do not wake, carelessly, a sleeping giant
Please keep it safe, softly that which is in your pant.

Drdaps:
It's a bomb 101%

Thanks, I never knew it's a bomb though...

supergata:
ya plagiarism is a very big problem.thanks for the replies,am grateful.

You're welcome.

supergata:
please i hope am not bothering you....but can you tell me some of the advantages and disadvantages you have experienced so far while using nairaland to put out your work. Thanks.

Well, the obvious advantage there is, is getting your work out to the public. Your work, been uploaded on Nairaland, stand a chance of being viewed/ getting to the knowledge of different range of people, beyond you could possibly get to meet in physical. For example, you have no idea how many people have got to know about whatever you post here. The disadvantages, so far I don't have much to say about that. But I see, at least, a thread everyday in nairaland about plegiarism and I think that's a problem, a kind of disadvantage; don't you think?

larabae13:
well, dere are many stories going on in my head buh it doesn't hold, it comes nd goes nd dere are some that I don't knw how to start it.

I think it's 'normal' as a writer to have this experience. You cannot possibly write down everything that's in your head. There are times, it just flow freely and there are other times, even when you force it, you realise you are not even feeling what you are writing yourself!

larabae13:
well, dere are many stories going on in my head buh it doesn't hold, it comes nd goes nd dere are some that I don't knw how to start it.

I think it's 'normal' as a writer to have this experience. You cannot possibly write down everything that's in your head.

This poem was inspired by a poem I read online sometimes ago (www.nairaland.com/2721570/one-love) and also by my crush or rather still 'impending girlfriend'.
Please, your review and comments are highly welcome.
Thanks.


There is this girl I love
She ain't a beauty queen or a being from above.
She is a girl I can't put in a word
Just a girl I would gladly give my world.
Her love did not come at first sight
It began when everyday with her became right.
It's like unwrapping something you don't really know
Then you want it today, tomorrow,
you never wan' let it go.
She is like a gift, long staring me in the eyes
Waiting patiently, tirelessly, when I would realize.
Love, now I'm here a melted ice
You are my crown, my queen, my prize.
Life became more beautiful since I said 'I love you'
And these days I smile instead of feeling blue.
There is this girl I told 'I love you '
Who replied me 'I love you too'
She would take me up Kilimanjaro
To tell me what she want is down, below.
But I don't mind
For with you whatever I seek,
I find.

kennedymonk:
Thank you, I should do more work

Yes.

supergata:
thanks a lot for the reply not getting response is really hard. if i may ask what medium do you use to put out your work? is it facebook,amazon,nairaland,bookshops,okadabooks.....?

Well I use nairaland inclusively.

As for me, in regards to your second question. I think the hardest is finding the courage to write on even when you've put something out there and you are not getting positive headlight. For example, you written this and put it here in good hope that people are going to read and respond to you, but funny enough you might not get any even return. And happenings as this, don't add up to one's encouragement. However, this could be converted as strength, because knowing the society your work is going to, its 'mean' disposition to literary work, especially from a not so popular individual, helps you challenge yourself and be your own first critic before bringing anything out to them.

nice one bro. I must say you have a very catchy title. But i think the write up still needs some attention from you, as it seems like something you just wrote lazily (no offence pls). I'll agree with you that there are truly stories that are never told. But what's about them? You are to tell us this and beside I think the write up is somehow blurred in regards to the genre of literature which this should appropriately be. No offence inteneded.

For a long time, I've been obsessed with William Wordsworth poem titled, 'the world too much with us'. This week I finally did something inspired by it and decided to name it same. Please your comments and reviews are highly welcome. Thanks.


The world, too much with us (Miliyano's version).

The world is beautiful but with plenty trouble.
So thin the air that you can't grasp it
The land fruitful, yet sweat and toil must tap it.
Time is all there is about life, yet too fast and delicate.
The world a stage, we actors
Too hard we get, too fast we lost
The world, too much with us.
Innocent, every life at green
But before we go the world creates another being.
Something in the very air you breathes
Something in this life we see but cannot touch
We do, yes, want and love
but even that we cannot get enough.
Look around and see the world today
So here right now but would not forever stay
Look around the world and say
What would you give, take, if you can?