Professor Leo: The Monkey Theory (Fiction)
" Mr Gibson, not now, Please." Prof. Leo muttered to himself, not until the churning of Mr Gibson's heavy duty truck became loudest.
"To hell with you and your road-forsaken shapeless truck!" Prof Leo screamed amidst hitting the wooden frame of his king-sized bed. This made his wife stir a bit. A deep sleeper she was.
It was just 4:35am and the neighborhood was already getting noisy. The noise from motor vehicles; the clanging of plates from kitchens; the hitting of pestles against mortars; the opening and jamming of gates were few things that characterised a typical weekday morning in the neighborhood.
Prof. Leo switched on the lamp by his bedside, sat up and began his morning meditation. His eyes peered through every nook and cranny of his spacious bedroom as if he was looking for something. That morning seemed to be very unusual. He couldn't just place his fingers on the thing making him restless. With a quick turn, his gaze beheld the beautiful face of his wife still sleeping. He couldn't help but smile sheepishly.
His smile was short-lived by the thought of his 10-year childless marriage. The feeling of guilt enveloped him.
"Why can't I give this beautiful woman a child of her own?" He questioned himself.
"Or is she barren?" He continued
"Well, patience." Prof. Leo consoled himself. At 39, he still believed that there is no cause alarm.
The alarm on his wall clock began to ring.
It was 5:00am already.
Prof Leo brought out his laptop and logged in to his Facebook account. This was a way of keeping himself abreast of things happening around hi.
He began scrolling down his News feed. So fast he was that he nearly skipped a post made by a colleague at work. He picked an unusual interest to see what the post was about.
"21-year old Microbiology student commits suicide." The post read.
The picture of a dark-skinned girl greeted his curious face. The girl's face was a beauty to behold. Her white gapped teeth was alluring. Prof Leo couldn't help but to admire such a beautiful creature. It was so saddening that she was dead.
Prof Leo shook his head. He was already imagining what her parents will be passing through.
He was about scrolling past when something struck him. The face looked familiar. He tried remembering where he had seen the face, yet he couldn't. The conviction was so strong.
Prof Leo was almost giving up on his memory when he suddenly remembered.
"No! This can't be!" Prof Leo screamed, causing his wife to wake up from her deep sleep.
"This just can't be." Prof Leo was already loosing hold of his emotions. His memory became clearer. He could see the previous day's event playing before him. His eyes turned watery. The tears were forming. They weren't just forming, they started caressing his fully bearded cheek.
Sia, Prof. Leo's wife, couldn't believe her ears. It was her husband sobbing.
"Leo?" She called.
Prof. Leo on realizing his wife had woken up, started mopping-up his tears. The more he cleaned, the more they flowed.
"Leo, what is it?" His wife inquired.
When she realized she was getting no answer if she kept lying down, she sat-up beside Leo. Her eyes fell on the beautiful face of the suicide victim.
"Who is she, Leo? What happened to her?"
After so many months or probably years, Sia found herself showing deep concern for her husband. This was one of the few times she caught her husband crying.
"Talk to me, Leo!" Since couldn't bear the silence. Her tear-glands were already betraying her. She couldn't stand the sight of her husband crying.
"She was my student. A 100 level student." Prof. Leo replied his wife while trying to control his tears. He had always being a fan of the popular saying, 'Real men don't cry'.
"Oh! Is that so?" She asked mockingly. She gave a loud hiss.
"Is that what is making you cry?" She began to taunt him (as usual).
"Leo, you will not cease to amaze me."
"Stop it!" Leo confronted his ever-annoying wife.
"I'm just having a guilty conscience. Maybe I was part of the reasons she killed herself." Prof. Leo placated her (in what seemed to be like a confession).
Sia was torn in-between having pity for her husband and mocking him. She settled for the full gist instead. Reaching out for the laptop, she clicked "...see more" to read the full story.
"21-year old Microbiology student, Celine Hills, commits suicide as a result of fustration. Report has it that the 100-level orphan was fond of lamenting about the inability of her uncle to buy the necessary books and materials she needed for school.
"However, Celine took the decision to end her life after one of her evening biological practical classes. Celine was found dead by 11:20 pm in her room. Her death is believed to be caused by an overdose of unknown medicine-tablets."
The story began to make more sense to Sia.
"Leo, were you the one that took them on the practical class?" Sia inquired from her husband. Her husband only gave an affirmative nod.
"Leo what did you do to a poor innocent girl?!"
*. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *
(FLASH BACK)
3:52 pm, 9th November, 2009.
Prof. Leo hurriedly walked into the 1st-year Biology laboratory in wde strides. Checking the time on his wrist-watch, he realized the degree of his lateness.
"How time flies these days," he thought while using his white handkerchief to wipe off the bead of sweat that was forming on his face.
Within a minute, he was already settled on the podium of the spacious laboratory. The laboratory was one of the recently commissioned projects in the school. Painted in light brown colour, the white LED bulbs made the laboratory more admirable. The only fault the laboratory seemed to have was limited number of chairs. Some students were seen standing at some strategic positions in order to get a good view of the lecteurer.
"Good day, class." Prof. Leo boomed through the microphone with his husky voice permeating the air.
"Good day, sir." The students responded. There was a little upsurge of noise. Some students were taking final positions on their seats will some were arguing over ownership of chairs.
Prof. Leo checked his wrist-watch again. It was 3:58 pm. He was already one hour behind schedule.
"Please, I don't have time to waste. There are many things to cover this semester." Prof. Leo pleaded.
The students took a cue and all resolved to be quiet. There was drop dead silence in the laboratory.
"Before we continue for today," Prof. Leo began, "I hope everyone has his/her dissecting sets. Like I said in the previous class , the ones in the laboratory will not be enough for everybody. You have no other option but to get a personal one."
The class erupted into another round of noise. Too many people murmuring. It was a habit for students to feign unawareness whenever unpleasant instructions were given.
"Listen up!" Prof. Leo became charged. He wasn't ready to dance to the tune of the students this time around.
"If you don't have your dissecting set, please leave my class."
The rowdiness grew worse. Students started running to and fro the laboratory, probably to retrieve their dissecting sets from their friends. Some were making aimless noise, definitely to fustrate the effort of the lecturer.
Prof. Leo stood upright on the podium with a stern face, secretly admiring the students dressed in their white laboratory coats, and some over-excited ones wearing surgical face mask. He knew the perfect face to put up when dealing with rebellious students.
"At the count of three..."
"Sir please, we will get ours in the next class," some students cut him short with their plea. Many students soon joined in pleading
"Shut up!" Prof. Leo feigned annoyance. Deep within him, he felt a soft spot for their plea. The number of students that hadn't gotten theirs were few. He felt the urge to pardon them.
"I said shut up!" He thundered again . There was no way he was going to fall for some deceptive plea.
"Listen up. It's not my fault. I am not the government that has refused to provide enough equipments in the laboratory. If you don't buy your own, how are you going to learn ?" Prof. Leo's question had a way of making the students mute again.
"Sir please, we will get ours next week." The melodious voice of an average height dark-skinned girl standing by the far end of the laboratory responded to Prof. Leo's question.
Everyone turned their gazes towards her. The looks on the students faces seemed to applaud her of her courage.
Prof. Leo was enveloped with mixed feelings. The young girl's appeal sounded like an insult to his authority. He wasn't sure. 'It might just be the plea of a committed student', he thought.
"Young lady, what is your name?" Prof. Leo asked.
"Celine Hills" The girl answered. Fearless but with a humble look.
Prof. Leo had never been so confused in a long while. Such a beautiful girl. Her bluish eyes were bright enough to melt the stony heart of a tyrant king. He began envisaging such a beautiful damsel as his daughter.
"Our of my class!" Prof. Leo roared, banging his fist in the wooden lectern.
Prof. Leo was taken aback by his own action. He never meant to do what he did.
"Does it matter?" He questioned himself inwardly. "These students need to see me as a tough lecturer." He justified his actions.
Celine packed her books and made for the door out of the laboratory. She was already crying before she got to the door. Other students who hadn't gotten theirs joined her out of fear. Celine's friends and 'well-wishers' also followed her to console her.
Prof Leo was restless. The urge to teach left him. The laboratory now scanty. He checked his wrist-watch for the upteenth time. It was 4:15 pm. So much time wasted already. He sighed and started flipping through the pages of his book.
"Please, turn with me to page 16 of your practical handbook." The practicals started.
*. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *.
(PRESENT DAY)
10:30 am, 27th November, 2019.
It was another occasion of the Annual Matriculation ceremony of the university. The matriculants were seated, beautifully decorated in their matriculation gowns. The 3,000 capacity auditorium was filled to its brim.
Seated on the podium included the Vice Chancellor, Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academics), Registrar and Deans of various faculties. The matriculants were seated at the front rows of chairs. Parents and well-wishers were seated at the far end of the auditorium.
The ceremony had started in earnest with the Vice Chancellor giving his opening speech. This was quickly followed by the oath-taking by the students. The manner in which the students chorused the 'sacred lines' depicted their lack of understanding of what they were doing. But, who cared? It was more like a ritual to observe all protocols.
"Next on the line-out for today's event is a talk by Professor Leonard Adney," the emcee announced. From the way the students clapped and shouted, one would have mistaken the speaker to be a very popular personality. The students couldn't be blamed. Their joy was too much.
Prof. Leo walked majestically unto the podium. His steps were short and precise.He was claded in a black tuxedo and black Italian shoes to match. His head bore a clean shave - the type that reflected the light rays from the LED bulbs. His beards were more fuller than it used be. It was obvious he was mourning.
"The Vice Chancellor, Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academics), Registrar, Deans,..." Prof. Leo started reeling out protocols. He we had no papers with him with which he read from.
"It's with great pain that I stand to deliver this lecture (as I choose to call it)." Prof. Leo began his introduction. The atmosphere in the auditorium changed all of a sudden. Quietness soon enveloped everywhere. Some were curious - curious to know why a professor should be wearing such attire to a joyous occasion.
"It's been 18 days since a should-be matriculant took her life." Prof Leo addressed the matriculats. "My own student, under my very watch." He emphasized.
"To this end, I've decided to centre my lecture around this incident. I title it The Monkey Theory. Yes, the Monkey Theory." He reiterated amidst murmurs over the weird topic.
"Listen up," Prof Leo drew everyone's attention while moving away from the lectern on the podium in order to get a clearer view of his audience.
"Many years back, during my Masters degree program, I stood under an orange tree in the heart of the university's zoo. It was my usual spot each time I needed to meditate. All of a sudden, I saw a monkey swinging from one branch of the tree to another, right over my head. He was with a banana which he held preciously. He soon settled down and began munching it."
Prof. Leo paused his story to assess the level of attention he had garnered. Everyone was looking at him. They wanted to hear more more.
"Then, I began to wonder," Prof Leo broke the suspense, "how he got the banana knowing fully well that it is near-impossible for a monkey to climb a banana tree."
The students looked surprised. Some began to question the authenticity of Prof. Leo's revelation. Others keyed-in into Prof. Leo's revelation and tried solving his riddle.
"Listen up," Prof Leo called out again. It was obvious he couldn't do without telling his audience to listen up. "You will agree with me that the banana is the monkey's favourite food." The students responded with heavy affirmative nods. "In fact," he continued, "whenever you see a monkey, you are likely to see bananas by its side. But, how does it get them?!" Ptof. Leo asked with so much energy in his voice.
"As I stood under that orange tree that day watching the monkey, I heard the monkey say something. You know what he said? He told me, 'hey young man, stop staring at me. If you think I'm going to share my banana with you, then you must be joking. It took me a whole lot to get what I'm eating!". The students bursted into laughter at his illustration. But Prof Leo's countenance was not changed a bit. He meant every word he said.
"Listen up once again. My dear students, everybody wants to achieve success, but they fail to realize that it costs a whole lot.
"Wether you like it or not, the best things of life are seemingly almost impossible to get. It takes you something extra-ordinary for you to get there. Something different from the physical strength you possess. Something different from the norm!
"This led to The Monkey Theory I coined out. Here is what it says: 'SUCCESS IS SWEET; THE ROAD IS TERRIBLE; IF YOU PERSEVERE, YOU GET THERE.
"This was what Celine Hills, the suicide victim, failed to understand. You are all seated here happy to have gained admission into this great institution. But one thing you shouldn't fail to understand is that it is never going to be easy.
"There are times you will fall. There are times you wil perform poorly. There are times you will feel like giving up. There are times you will be fustrated. There are times you will be down financially. There are also times you will feel abandoned. If only you can hear the voice of the monkey. It is asking you, 'why can't you persevere just a little more?'
"We, your lecturers, want the best for you. Nobody hates you.
"And before I drop the microphone," Prof Leo took a long pause. His emotions were beginning to take over him. "I want to implore my fellow lecturers to see to the welfare of these students. They are ours. Let us be a part of their success story. Thank you."
Prof. Leo took a bow and started going going down the stairs leading to the podium. Everyone in the auditorium stood on their feet to cheer him. The ovation was louder this time around.
THE END.

AS I KISS THE WORLD GOODBYE
By
Ojei Emmanuella Ngozi

As I kiss the world goodbye

Sitting here with no more feelings
The feeling of existence and being human
I no longer possess
Those peaceful chirps from the morning birds
As they queue up excitedly on the gigantic cedar tree
Outside my window, like an orchestrated choir
Suddenly no longer amuse me
I long for greater promises above all I see before me

To you friends,
I know you will be the first to wail
Epistles of greatness I possess,
You will proclaim to the world
The constant help you have rendered to me you will acclaim
How you would have to help more only if I have asked you will lament
Well I say thank you,
Thank you for your claims, thank you for being you
For the days you backstabbed me I say......... gracias!
Indeed u pluck spears from my eyes
Even though you neglected the several in your own eyes
Then the spears from my eyes,
My heart you use to dismember
You were quick to judge me to the world
A river-full of tears I have donated for your sake

As I kiss the world goodbye

To acquaintances
Sometimes you regard me as sweet
Maybe to please me I guess
Then most of the time, I am the devil you see
Well, thank you!
Thank you for making me feel unwanted
And in my face proclaim love to me
Those thousand storms,
For your sake I have sojourn
Never in a hurry will I dispatch
I hope you got all you wanted from me
The bucket I mean to kick
And unfair of me will it be
Without first raising to you a final..... Aloha!
Or better still.......... Au revior

As I kiss the world goodbye

I imagine how it will be,
Men will lift my once underrated body,
Which of course would have been adorned,
With those clothes I never got to wear
Flowers will reside all around me
When in days I had sought for one of those sweetly perfumed roses,
But never have I received any
Aaah!...... My heart breaks and from my eyes tears freely escape
You were always needing me
And I was always there,
But when I needed anyone,
A thousand miles they will be away from me
Ouch!........ I wish I never remember these days anymore

As I kiss the world goodbye

To........ mi familia
You were always there,
Always expecting more,
Making sure i understand,
That I am a burden you we're meant to carry
For a sickly child, what is to be expected
Times before I had tried to make you see
"I did not create myself this way"
But now...... I don't want to know anymore
Hmmm!......... Maybe you were right,
I don't belong here,
I never did,
Sorry for the bother,
Thank you for letting me see the world,
But now I want to go away
This way I won't bother you anymore,
Even at death I still acclaim you as my beloved
I don't judge you,
I only admire your courage,
Keeping up with a "problem " like me is a job,
A blacksmith,
Who bends those stubborn irons into adorable objects
Could have never coped,
Like a more stubborn iron,
I have proved unbendable over the years
For all I say thank you

As I kiss the world goodbye

I plead to my creator,
Do not reject me, for in your bosom I come
I have one last wish,
That I will come visit the world again
But has a more better person
Who deserves all the love the world has to offer
As a stronger person,
who can take all what life throws at me
As a better person,
That brings smile to every face, I meet
As a selfless person,
That makes the world a better place for others
And not just myself
As a resilient heart,
Who will not take suicide as an option,
To run away from crisis
As a freedom fighter,
Who will fight and curb the ills of the society
As a me,
That will love all,
Even when I don't feel their love
I will believe in their smiles,
And reside in any amount of comfort I find,
For one cannot have everything
But has for now, the deed has been done
I can only wish for a better next time,
What an eventful life.............. Au revior!

New Year Quiver

'Days are running by.'

And with each passing evening, I began to kiss 2018 farewell. What a wasted year!

'Glory to God,' Not because I deemed it necessary. Maybe to please Tonia (our next door neighbor) who admonished me to be grateful to God always.

My Green Diary laid on the table, begging for its owner's touch. I sat on the chair attached to the my reading table to begin my daily ecounter with my diary. I made the curtains part a little to permit the light from the moon shine on my diary (my love for moonlight is second to none).

An evening like this never go down well without the 'sweet' savouring taste of Black Bullet energy drink caressing my throat. With a flash, I had removed a can of my 'diet' from where I stored them. The first gulp of drink made me exhale loudly and immediately set my mind in a good working condition.

I started flipping through my three-year old diary. Too many events had taken place in my life. A scribble done with red ink made me stop. Oh! It was my new year resolutions for the year 2018. It reads:

"28/12/2017 - My new year resolutions:
No more alcohol.
No more sports betting."

Reading this made me grin (for my stupidity actually).

What was I thinking then? An admission seeker like me who had nothing doing writing this kind of New Year resolutions?
Who is deceiving who?

Mtcheew! With a reflex, my throat was blessed with another gulp of my Black Bullet.

I could remember how I so much wished to start the year 2018 anew, with good habits. I remembered how I envisioned myself living an alcohol-free life. I couldn't wait to stop staking my precious money on some useless football bet.

But how come? Didn't I resolve on my heart to stop? Didn't I pray to God? Didn't I spend the cross-over night in Church? Didn't God hear my prayers?

Seven weeks into 2018 saw me breaking all of my resolutions. Who does that!?

It wasn't my fault though. Yeah. PSG ought to have won thier match against Real Madrid. I had staked that game with #500 hoping for a large turn-over if my ticket 'entered'. Yeah, it's not still my fault. I was broke ( and definitely broken afterwards).

As fate would have it, Real Madrid took the glory home. My money was gone! I was literally finished. Hmmmmmn. I had to console myself. Just as you may guess, alcohol became the nearest option. De Rock was a good pick (*winks*). I felt light again.

That was how minutes of boredom brought me back to square one. After that day, I had a big relapse. I had gone back to my vomit. I no longer had the courage to start anew.

Afterall, the new year resolutions have been broken. I will wait till the upper year.

Sports betting became the order of the day. These people can't be 'eating' me like this. No way! And whenever I lost a bet, I used alcohol to 'cool temper".

Days rolled into weeks, weeks into months and now I'm about leaving 2018 behind. No change still.

But come to think of it. Do I really need to wait for another year to start afresh?

Hell no!

I'm just deceiving myself. Everyday is a 'New Year'. Nothing so special about it. If I can resolve to stop a habit today, why can't I do same tommorow? Despite the season of the year.

I'm not doing the New Year stuff anymore.
Maybe I can call it New Life resolutions. I will start today. Even if I relapse tommorow, I will try again the upper day. Afterall, success comes from our inability to rise again after we have fallen.

Hmmn.

What about my drinking habit? Maybe I will ask Mum to employ me in her Super-market - let me know if I will have the guts to drink in her presence.

No more stopping over at the bet shop. My time at the Super-market won't permit it.

" I will learn to trust in God wholly. 2019 must see me quitting these habits and finally getting admitted into a higher institution to further my education."

My heart became light again. And with a large gulp, I emptied the can of drink.

"Mummy" I screamed with excitement in my voice as I zoomed off my room.
"I'm following you to the Supermarket tommorow."

"It's late, keep your jokes for another day." My Mum spewed nonchalantly.

I gave out a mild laugh.

Surely, success begins with a practical step!
© AnthCunny

#fiction
*Stubborn Fly*
Clara slowly turned the knob on the door as she made the door give way with a slight push. She let out a loud sigh. Home finally.

'Mami' Clara called out as she struggled with the three boxes that contained all of luggages.
'Mami, are you...'

'Omo mi, kilode? What's the matter?' Iya-Bunmi interrupted.

Iya-Bunmi (as she was fondly called) was an elegant 'young' woman in her late forties. A mother of two of which Clara was her first.
Clara broke down in tears, walking un-steadily into the arms of a waiting mother.

'It's okay Bunmi' Iya-Bunmi tried to console her daughter.
Several thoughts an through her weavon-ladened head. It've been only three months that Bunmi' was joined in a perfect and holy matrimony. Who would have thought of this happening now?

'Oremi' Baba-Bunmi's baritone voice floated in the spacious sitting room that befitted a successful business man that he was.

Baba-Bunmi slowly walked down the stairs. He was already making wild guesses or rather predictions. He knew it! He felt a strong pang on his conscience. How could he?

'Oremi, what's happening?'

'Please don't Oremi me!' Iya-Bunmi was getting infected with her daughter's pain.
'Can't you see our daughter is back home with her boxes' Her sobs started choking her.

'Bunmi mi, se dadani? Did he chase you out of your home?' Baba-Bunmi could also feel her pain. Real pain.

'No Baba, I left on my own. I can't bear it anymore.' Her tears were already caressing her cheeks real hot.

Baba-Bunmi took his seat. No time to display emotions. Iya-Bunmi took a cue and led her daughter to sit.

'Bunmi stop crying and explain to us.' Iya-Bunmi urged her daughter.
'But I warned you! I told you! The Holy Spirit was right.' Baba-Bunmi spared no second in spilling out his rants.

A staunch christain he was. In fact, an elder in his church.

'Honour your father and mother so that your days will be long.' Baba-Bunmi made sure to use the Bible to drive home his points.
' After you disobeyed me, how do you think you will succeed in that marriage.' His tongue-lashing were stinging Clara real hard.
' Even our pastor warned you. Now you've seen what the stubbornness you inherited from your mother has caused you.'

'Please stop it!' Iya-Bunmi was taking none of those nonsense talks from her husband. Not this time.
'Bunmi loved Alex. She loved him! So why stop her from marrying him?' Iya-Bunmi was charged up already.

Clara knew it was time to count her teeth with her tongue. With a hard wipe, she cleaned off her tears and kept her emotions aside for you the time being.

'So Baba, why didn't you support our marriage from the on-set. Why?' A fiery gaze from Clara told Baba-Bunmi that it was a now-or-never affair.

The air in the sitting room was heating up, despite the cooling effect of the air conditioner.

Baba-Bunmi knew it was time to let the cat out of the bag. His hands found their way on his skin-cut head - massaging it as if to calm a turbulence.

'I've know Alex for the past eight years.'

'Eight what!?' Mother and daughter found themselves chorusing.

'Yes, eight solid years. That was before I dropped my medical profession.'
Baba-Bunmi started his narrative essay (which he was always good at back then in high school)

'He came for treatments.' Baba-Bunmi continued.

'He had syphilis. The syphilis had gotten deep into his system that it destroyed his testes. I tried my best to salvage the situation, but I couldn't'.

'Baba, Syphilis? How?' Clara could feel her head spinning in a Merry-go-round.

'According to what he told me, he got it from one of his numerous girlfriends in school. Although, we succeeded in curing him of it. But the syphilis had rendered him sterile already'.

Only a weak man shows his tears. Says who? Baba-Bunmi could feel a tear drop down his cheek. His conscience were still alive.

'But Baba, why didn't you tell me? Why did you allow me to suffer for another man's sin? Clara had a hundred and one questions for her dad.

'But I told you!' Baba-Bunmi shot back.

'You didn't!' Iya-Bunmi intervened.

'You didn't tell us the real story. Baba how could you?' Iya-Bunmi felt betrayed.

'I told you not to get married to him! Why wouldn't she obey?' Baba-Bunmi knew how to defend himself in scenarios like this.

'Besides, have you forgotten? I'm a medical doctor. I swore an oath never to reveal a patient's medical record to a third party'

'Oath my foot!' Iya- Bunmi eyes were red with bitter blood

'Baba, you've dissappointed me' Clara had never felt this way. 'Baba, I will never forgive you.' Her tears resumed duty.

'I'm also dissappointed in you, Bunmi. You disobeyed me. Your reward is in hell fire'. Baba-Bunmi could hear his own childish talk.

Clara stood up. Her mother couldn't console her this time around. She dragged her boxes out of the house. She embarked on another journey. Definitely not to her matrimonial home. Only God knows.
#WHOSE_FAULT?